Page 54

Chapter

Thirty-Five

TATE

The next two weeks are pure torture. With Ara coming closer to Picking and me being on long patrols twice, we don’t see each other for days, and then only while passing in the hallway. We are limited to superficial conversations and easy smiles again, when all I want is to be alone with her.

I curl my fingers into tight fists and try to relax my jaw before I crack a tooth or two while I watch Ara spar with Ilario. Keeping my distance is not easy, and standing over here watching her laugh triumphantly because she just managed to pin him to the mat is fucking torture.

Her eyes fly over to me, and our gazes lock. I have no idea how she does it, but she always senses me, no matter how sneaky I am. I give her a small smile and a nod before leaving the room.

We just got back from our last weeklong patrol flight along the coast. The same one Ara accompanied us last time, and I’m exhausted. But I had to see her before I could even think of rest.

Ever since she told me just how much she’s risking here, I’m worried when I’m gone for long stretches of time. As far as I know, Foley hasn’t made a move, but I don’t doubt he will. From what I heard, he holds a grudge, and I’ve caught him glaring at Ara more than once.

Three days until Picking starts, and then she will be up on that mountain for five days. I try very hard to ignore what could go wrong in those five days and instead concentrate on the fact that in little over a week, Ara will be a rider, and nothing is keeping me from her then.

So I have to ensure no one notices anything between us—not that there is anything to report.

I walk down the corridor toward the sleeping quarters. All I want is a shower and my bed. Since it’s afternoon, the hallways are still empty. All runners have classes, and most riders are either on patrol or training.

I hear hurried steps behind me coming closer, and I glance over my shoulder but turn when I see who is coming after me. Ara.

I nearly topple over when she flings herself into my arms without warning. My arms catch her on instinct, and I let myself enjoy the feeling of having her in my arms for just a second.

“I missed you,” she breathes into my ear, and I groan. Is she trying to kill me here?

Even though it pains me, I put her back down gently and step back.

Just a few more days, I remind myself.

She looks confused, but she has to know this is madness, right?

“Sunshine, I—” I’m interrupted by approaching steps. Two riders from the eastern division round the corner.

Fuck. I take another step back and school my features into my usual mask.

“Thank you.” I nod. “Get back to class, Summer,” I tell her before I continue my way to my room, unbearably turned on and frustrated at the same time.

And the more I think about it, the angrier I get with Ara for doing something so reckless. What if the riders had come just a few seconds earlier? It’s no secret that the eastern division has her on their shit list. What if word had gotten back to Foley?

I’m too agitated to sleep now, so after the shower and a change of clothes, I drag my weary bones to the weight room in hopes of releasing some of my restless energy.

Ara

I’m hurrying back to sparring. Tate’s rejection is still a hollow burn in my chest. What the fuck was that? A marble statue would have shown more enthusiasm at seeing me.Maybe he changed his mind?

I push back into the hall only to find everyone still engaged in what they had been doing before.

Calix is sparring with Mariel, and Arkwright is pointing out mistakes in a runner’s defense while the rest of our class is sparring, watching others do so or sitting at one of the benches waiting for their turn.

My eyes meet Livia’s, and she gives me a derisive grin, her eyes traveling from me to the door and back. But there is no way she knows where I have been.

I turn my back on her and make my way over to Mariel and Calix instead.

Geography passes in a blur, and thankfully, we are done with classes after that. I made my decision. I can’t go on like this. I need to know.

“Are you coming with us to the common room?” Mariel asks me, but I shake my head.

“I’ll see you later.” I turn and leave before anyone can ask me where I’m going or my nerves get the better of me.

I march over to the sleeping quarters and up the stairs past our floor until I reach the one our division’s leadership occupies. The corridor is empty. I stop in front of Tate’s door, taking a deep breath. I can still leave.

I need clarity.

I raise my hand and knock.

This is madness.

I knock again.

The door is flung open, and I find myself facing Tate’s chest—his very carved, very bare chest. I swallow and drag my eyes up until I meet his. His eyes are wide.

“Sunshine?” he whispers, and just like that, I want to fling myself at him again.

He is not playing fair.

I clear my throat.

“Can I come in?” I ask and can’t help but let my eyes wander over him again.

Steps echo down the corridor, heading in our direction. Tate pulls me into his room and closes the door softly, before he strides to the middle of the room as if to put space between us.

Tingles race through my body when I realize for the first time we are truly alone… in a room… with a key… and a bed.

Heat explodes low in my belly, trickling down. Tate turns to me, his body taut with tension, and my fingers ache with the need to touch him, run them over the swells and dips of his muscles, and feel his smooth, warm skin.

For the first time, his face is unguarded, and I don’t need to ask the question I came here for.

He wants me.

He knows my darkest secret, and still, he wants me.

The realization shocks me, and I take a step back. As if the tension ties him to me, Tate follows.

“This is such a bad idea,” he growls, his voice low. Heat pulses through me.

He is right. My mind knows that, but my body disagrees.

There is a fire in his gaze and… hunger. I bite my lip, and he groans.

“Now is your chance to run, sunshine,” he rumbles while he slowly prowls toward me, giving me time to slip through the door behind me.

“I can’t fight this any longer.” He shakes his head, keeping up his slow advance.

I just watch him come closer, my heart racing.

“Then don’t,” I tell him, my voice husky with need.

His hands land on the door next to my head, and he closes his eyes, resting his brow against mine.

“I’m trying to do the right thing here, sunshine.” His chest is rising and falling with his breaths. “But you make it impossibly hard.”

“That’s because I don’t want you to do the good and noble. I want the bad and wicked and—”

His mouth crashes down on mine, swallowing my last words and the moan clawing up my throat.

Thank the gods… he’s done fighting.

I bump into the door behind me, and Tate’s hand slides from my jaw to the back of my head, cradling it. His other arm hooks around my waist, pulling me to him. The warmth of his body seeps into me, and I melt.

I bury my hand in his hair, my nails scraping over his scalp, and I revel in the shudder running through his body.

I thought our kiss in the library was hot, but this…I bite his bottom lip, and his groan runs through me like liquid fire. His need is hard, pulsing evidence between us, and I need … I … closer.

I push off the ground and wrap my legs around him, humming in approval, when my throbbing ache meets the ridge of his cock.

“You are playing with fire, sunshine,” Tate warns against my lips before his mouth travels down my throat. “I’m just a breath away from fucking you right here against this door.”

“Maybe I think it’s worth the risk,” I whisper. Tate freezes at my words, then tries to pull back. I drop my head to his shoulder with a groan.

Tate

Her words have the same effect as a bucket of ice water, making me instantly aware that this could fuck up everything for her. I try to pull back, but Ara clings to me, letting her head drop to my shoulder with a groan.

“Shit wording,” she grumbles, then kisses my neck. “Ditch whatever noble thought caught up to you,” she demands and nips my earlobe before pulling back and looking me straight in the eye. Her lips, swollen from my kisses, stretch into a wicked smile.

She is magnificent.

“Please, Tate, I want you.” Need slams into me, nearly making my knees buckle.

“Fuck, are you trying to kill me here?” I groan.

“No, simply trying to get you out of your head.” She chuckles. I groan again, trying to hold on to the last scrap of my control. “Look at me,” she demands, and I do. How can I not, when for weeks now I haven’t been able to see anything but her as soon as she enters a room?

Her hair is a mess from my hands tunneling into it, her lips are swollen, her cheeks flushed, her eyes heavy with want, and her clothes rumpled.

“If they catch me coming out of your room like this”—she looks down at her body—“they won’t care if we went that far or not, so we might as well take what we need.” Her reasoning makes sense in a twisted kind of way, or maybe it’s just that I so badly want it to make sense.

But right or wrong is forgotten when her next words shred the last bit of my control.

“I need you, Tate,” she whispers into my ear, her breath playing against my skin, and I’m lost.

Who am I kidding? I was lost the second I opened the door, and she looked at me like I was the cake she compared me to weeks ago, or even the moment I found out who she was and her skin pebbled for me.

I rock into her, and her needy whimper is like a gust of wind to smoldering embers.

“This has to go. Now,” I demand and tug her shirt up while she lifts her arms. Her shirt lands on the floor next to us, and she looks up at me. The trust on her face lets warmth flood my chest, waking a tenderness I never felt before. I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and trace her braid.

“Can you let it down?”I ask.

She nods, smiling, and I duck in, needing to feel that smile against my lips while Ara gets to work on her braid.

I explore her mouth, reveling in her taste and the feeling of her against me. My finger traces circles against the silky skin of her lower back, and her hands falter. Then she pulls back, gasping.

“How am I…” She breathes. “Supposed to do anything that needs coordination, with your hands and mouth on me?”

“I can stop,” I say and give her a wicked smile before I trace her collarbone with my tongue.

Goose bumps spread over her skin.

So damn sensitive.

“Don’t you dare.” She gasps, making me chuckle.

Her hair falls around her like a golden veil, the soft strands tickling my chest and shoulders.

I will never get enough of her.

The thought should frighten me, but it doesn’t. She’s the sunlight that ended my winter, and the past weeks proved she’s safer with me than without me, so I’m not letting her go.

I bury one hand in her hair, the way I’ve wanted to since I saw it trailing down her back at the tavern.

“You are perfect,” I say and watch her eyes go tender. Our mouths find each other in another kiss softer, gentler, this time more savoring than demanding.

“Are you sure about this?” I ask when I come up for air.

“Yes,” Ara answers with truth in her voice. My heart accelerates with anticipation, and I walk over to my bed with Ara still in my arms.

A knock on the door makes us both freeze. I rest my brow against Ara’s, willing whoever is in front of this door to go away.

The knock sounds again, and I groan.

“Go away, I’m sleeping,” I shout, hoping the person will take the hint.

“Centurion, open the door,” a male voice demands. At the formal address, Ara and I look at each other in shock.

“Fuck,” I hiss, setting Ara down gently. I grab my shirt, pulling it over my head, and Ara dives for hers.

The knock sounds again.

“Um…one minute,” I shout, looking frantically for a place to hide Ara, but there is nothing here to hide.

I go over to the door and take one last look at Ara, checking that she isn’t visible from the doorway. Then I place a shield of air right behind me, guarding her and muffling every sound she makes beforeI slip out the door, closing it behind me.

I come face-to-face with Deputy Commander Foley.

Despite probably looking like a mess, I don the cool mask I’m used to wearing.

“Yes, sir?” I say, keeping still while his gaze wanders over me.

“Did I interrupt something?” He smirks, and my blood runs cold.

“I was sleeping, sir.”

“Are you sure you weren’t doing something …” He leers at the door behind me, and the thought of him looking at Ara like that has my temper flaring up.“Or should I say someone else?” He looks back at me, and maybe he sees the threat in my eyes because he takes a step back.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir.”

“So you want to tell me I won’t find anyone when I inspect your room right now?”

“No one, sir,” I bluff.

“Very well, then you won’t mind me having a look, will you?” He smiles, his eyes full of triumph.

Fuck. He knows .