Page 4

Chapter

Two

TATE

I leave the small dark alley and head toward the big street leading us back to the academy. I’m glad I wear all black today instead of my uniform. It makes the bloodstains much less noticeable.

“What the fuck, Tate? Are we really not going to talk about the reason I’ll have to keep up this illusion until I’m back in my room?

” Jared hurries after me. My best friend currently looks nothing like his tall, blond, and broad form but like a tiny redhead with killer curves, which makes hearing his deep voice out of her mouth even more bizarre, but that is not the only glitch.

He matches my pace easily despite his seemingly shorter legs.

Nobody’s illusion is perfect if you’re observant.

“You weren’t invited, so don’t whine if it bruised your sensibilities,” I tell him.

“You can be such an ass,” he grumbles. “How did you even know it was me?” he asks when he realizes I don’t intend to say anything else. Not that this should be news to him.

“You still walk like yourself,” I answer.

“And how do I walk?” he asks, exasperated.

I snort. “Not like a woman who looks like that,” I tell him, which has him grumbling again and me hoping I avoided that conversation.

“What the fuck are you doing, man? That was a fucking shit show,” he hisses, keeping his voice low since the street we just entered is much busier than the one before.

“I told you to stay away,” I say dryly.

“Oh, and that makes it better?”

“What should I have done, Jared?” I round on him, dragging him closer to the houses to let a horse cart pass without getting run over. “Should I have let him slip his dagger between my ribs like he planned to? Should I have let him walk away after that?”

“No, of course not, but I can’t believe you still won’t let me have your back.”

“It’s my plan and my questions that got me into this.

I will not drag you down with me,” I hiss.

A woman passes us and gives me a disapproving stare, probably because it looks like I tower over Jared’s fragile form.

Fucking great. I release him and step back before someone calls the guards.

The blood on me might not be obvious, but it’s still there, as well as its coppery scent.

“It pisses me off that you keep me out of this,” Jared grumbles. “It’s like you think you’re the only one affected by what happened back then.” He turns away from me, starting down the street. We’ve had more fights about this than I can count.

“Jared, you know that’s not true,” I say while I follow. “I just have to do that alone.”

“Why? Am I not allowed to be affected because I wasn’t there? Am I not allowed to want revenge?” He shakes his head. “Just stop fucking pushing me away.”

“That’s not what I’m doing. I …”

“Well, it feels like it. You hurt Mom by staying away, too. You know that, right?” he adds without any heat or accusation, and somehow, that makes it worse.

“Jared, I’m sorry, I—” I start, but he cuts me off again.

“Are you coming with me to see her tonight?” he asks before I have the chance to recover from his verbal blows. He maneuvered me right into that one, the sneaky bastard. How can I say no after what he just said?

Still, I hesitate, not because I don’t want to see her, but if she looks at me differently… I’m not sure I could take it. Jared feels my hesitation.

“If you don’t come, she will soon show up at the Aerie and drag your ass home. You know that, right?”

Home.

I flinch at that word. I haven’t yet stepped foot in the home Jared’s mom has created here in Telos, yet Jared still includes me so naturally in that statement, as if it is my home, too.

Nan, Jared’s mother, was my nanny when I was little, and even when she didn’t need to keep an eye on me anymore, I saw more of her than of my parents.

Then I left court, and Nan and Jared packed their things and came with me like it was the obvious thing to do.

I’ve only seen her twice in the past three years, and always because she sought me out.

Jared is right. She gave me space, and I’m sure her patience is coming to an end.

“I’ll come,” I tell him. “But we need to change first.”

Jared looks down at himself, grimacing at something I can only assume is blood since it’s hidden behind his illusion.

“I don’t have a problem with blood, man, but couldn’t you have warned me that I would bathe in it,” he complains. How I should have warned him when I didn’t know he would come is beyond me.

“Do you need me to heal you?” I ask, but he shakes his head.

“Did you get any answers?” He wants to know instead.

“No.” I shake my head. “But I clearly disturbed someone with the questions I already asked. I’ll meet my contact tomorrow, so let’s hope that goes better.”

“I don’t like it that you go to that meeting alone,” Jared says, and I scoff.

“I would hardly call it alone. Daeva will be with me.” Daeva is my Night Raven, a vicious and tenacious creature, bigger than a horse with mighty claws and a sharp beak.

“Tell that puny human I will show him what I do to creatures that disregard me,” Daeva grumbles in my head, and I chuckle.

“I’m sorry, Daeva,” Jared says, knowing what caused my reaction. “I’m just angry he still doesn’t budge.”

“Tell him I won’t let him off this easy next time,” she says, hearing Jared through me without me having to repeat the words.

“She forgives you,” I relay her answer to Jared. “And no, I won’t take you with me. It’s bad enough that my contact knows my face and that I’m a skyrider.”

“I could use my gift,” he offers.

“And what about Zephyr? Do you want to disguise him, too?” I shake my head. To alter his bird’s appearance for such a long time while Zephyr is flying would send him into exhaustion.

“But I will come to the next meeting in the city,” he declares, setting his jaw, not even bothering to dress it up as a question.

I know a pointless argument when I hear one and stay silent.

“Hey, Trouble.” I find myself enveloped in familiar arms as soon as I step through the door.

I don’t know how she does it, but even though Nan reaches only up to my shoulder, she manages to give hugs that make me feel safe and cared for. I missed her hugs, missed her.

“Let me look at you.” She cups my face between her hands, and her eyes aren’t missing a thing while they travel over my face and body. “I worry about you,” she adds.

“If you don’t ease up, Mom, no threat will get him through this door next time,” Jared teases.

“Oh hush, bug.” She swats her kitchen towel at her son. “No such nonsense.” She points her finger at me. “Enough now with the evasion. I won’t tolerate it any longer.”

I send her my sweetest smile. I have a lifetime of practice and know how to get on her good side.

“Don’t you try to charm your way out of this one—I mean it, Trouble. I’m quite cross with you.” She rests her hands on her hips, heaving out a breath. “Oh, come here.” And I find myself in her arms once more, grinning at Jared over her shoulder. He shakes his head, smiling, and mouths, “Suck-up.”

“Oh, and before I forget, your pay came in today. Trouble, yours is still coming to me, too. I already told you to clear that up, didn’t I?”

“And who else should the money go to?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “My parents?” Jared chuckles behind me at that suggestion. “And it’s not like I need more than the bit I keep since the Aerie provides for us.” Jared nods.

“Can you tell me what I’m supposed to do with all that money?

” She glares at me and then at Jared. We both shrug, grinning at each other.

This feels like old times. “It will be waiting for you,” she declares, leading the way into the kitchen.

Like I would ever touch that money after everything I owe her.

Another wave of affection and love washes over me when I step into the cozy kitchen and see the table set for three. Jared didn’t have the chance to tell her I was coming. I would bet my favorite dagger that she had the third plate on the table at all the dinners Jared went to by himself.

“I had a feeling today was special.” Nan bustles to the oven. “I made your favorite casserole and chocolate cake for dessert.” I groan in pleasure, which makes her laugh. “That’ll teach you not to stay away so long next time.”

We sit down and dig in as soon as she sits as well. Jared sends me a mischievous smile before turning to Nan.

“Mom, I think some olives would have added a splash here.”

“I don’t want to hear a thing about olives out of your mouth, young man.” She points her finger at him. “Every time the cook served olives, I knew there would be complaints about you two.”

Jared and I look at each other and burst out laughing.

“Come on, you can’t blame us. Those wineglasses made excellent targets, especially when people were mingling. And we were quite good at it, too.” Jared smiles at the memory.

“Oh, I never heard the end of your ‘accomplishments.’ The maids had quite a headache getting those stains out,” Nan scolds with a smile.

Jared and I earned somewhat of a reputation throughout the years, and many of the stories have Nan throwing up her hands in exasperation. But she laughs at them as well.

“You were always too curious for your own good. Your urge to get to the bottom of a secret or solve a puzzle drove your father crazy.” Nan smiles at me.

“Do you remember the catacombs?” Jared asks.

“How could I ever forget that?” I ask.

“It was epic.” Jared grins.

“It was terrifying,” I disagree. “When my dad made everyone leave, I thought I would spend the night down there alone.”

“You had no business being down there to begin with,” Nan throws in.

“If the damn door hadn’t slammed shut, no one would have known,” Jared says. “And maybe we would have found a treasure. Who knows?”

I grin and shake my head.

“Good thing you already were on the other side. No one would have thought to look for us down there. Father was furious,” I recall.

“Your mother pleaded with him, but he wasn’t to be swayed,” Nan says.

“But you got me out of there,” I reply. “Mists, the relief when I saw the light coming back.” I sigh, remembering my ten-year-old frightened self huddled in the dark.

“I planned to come back that night. I had already packed blankets, a lamp, and biscuits when Louis came back with you,” Jared throws in as if I didn’t know that.

I remember Louis’s crooked smile and the words that had sounded like the best ones I ever heard.

“ Let’s get you out of here. I would rather not spend the night on this stone floor.”

“And in the morning, he sneaked me back down there. I rubbed a little dirt on myself, and no one was the wiser.”

We all chuckle.

Louis had been the best.

As if he senses my shifting mood, Jared launches into the next story, determined to keep it light and easy. It is easy to laugh with them, and the longer I sit at Nan’s table, the less solid my reasoning for staying away becomes.

Nan is not one for throwing around accusations, even if she has every right to do so.

Nan looks at me, her expression serious. We arrived at the moment I dreaded all along.

“His death is not your fault,” she says, and I look away.

“Look at me.” When I don’t immediately react, she reaches over and places her hand on my cheek.

I meet her gaze. “You are not to blame, and I need you to start believing it, or it will destroy you.” Her gaze is unwavering, and there is truth in her voice. Only she is wrong.

My throat closes up, making it hard to breathe and even harder to speak.

“But if I hadn’t…” There are so many ways to finish this sentence, but I can’t force even one of them past my lips. I swallow. “Louis would still be here,” I croak.

“He made his choices, and they led him right to that moment. Who am I to question that or the fates? Maybe it was his time to go.” She gives me a sad smile.

“Yes, I miss him. Yes, I’m angry sometimes.

But not with you. Never with you.” Her hand runs over my cheek, catching slightly on the stubble.

Then she focuses on her plate, her eyes suspiciously bright.

I’m glad Jared doesn’t push for a conversation on our way back. My mind is stuck on repeat while I go over that day three and a half years ago and every possible outcome, trying to find the point that would have made a difference.