Page 47

Chapter

Thirty

ARA

It’s strange to be back, not just at the academy but also with my classmates, my flight, and my squadron.

It’s only been two weeks, but still, I miss training with the other flight.

I miss the banter and joking at one of the outposts after a day of flying while we sat in a warm common room. Most of all, I miss being around Tate.

Gods, I wish he had kissed me because all I keep agonizing over is how his lips would feel on mine. Would he have kissed me softly or with the heat I had seen in his eyes?

I sit at lunch surrounded by my flight but don’t listen to their chatter. Tate is on patrol today. I know that since I have their schedule, but my eyes still wander over the sea of runners and riders around us, looking for him.

It’s undeniable that something changed between us since Platoria and our conversation at the outpost.

I abandoned the notion that it’s only my curse pulling me toward him because damn, I notice a lot more than that. But that doesn’t solve the puzzle of me being acutely aware of his gift and where he is at all times of the day unless he’s too far away. Like right now.

I sigh, which draws Calix's attention, but his gaze goes back to his plate without saying anything.

Magic marks its bearers. It doesn’t care about the name you put on it.

The dragon’s words play through my mind, but what do they mean?

Despite being scared by how close I came to spilling my secrets to Tate, I wish I could talk to someone about it.

“Can you just talk to her?” Calix's voice draws me out of my thoughts. He’s been in a strange mood lately.

“Huh?” I look at him questioningly.

“Talk to Mariel and apologize for whatever you did,” he says. Now I’m completely thrown.

“What? What did I do?”

“You tell me.” Calix is glowering at me now. “I know I told you to live a little, but ever since your date, she’s off, and now she even avoids you, so you clearly fucked up somehow. I want you to apologize and stop acting like nothing happened.” He throws up his hands, angry with me.

“What date?” His eyebrows jump up at my question.

“Are you shitting me right now?” he growls.

“No, I swear I’m not. I never went on a date with Mariel. Why would I?”

If all I want is to jump our centurion?

“Because she’s a great girl—”

“I know that Mariel is great.” I hold up my hands in surrender before he can go on defending her. “That’s not what I meant. She’s my friend. Why would I mess around with her like that?”

Now Calix looks confused, too. “But she said she was meeting you the night you didn’t get back, so I thought…”

I huff out a breath. I’m fed up with all the lies and drama.

“No, I met up with my cousin that night. I didn’t see Mariel at all. I promise.”

Calix's shoulders relax at that. This seems to have bugged him more than I thought. I pat his shoulder.

“You know what? I’ll go find her right now and clear up whatever this is,” I tell him, and that’s what I do.

It takes me a while to hunt down Mariel, but I finally find her in the coop, cuddling a little Strix after a runner told me he’d seen her head that way.

“Hey,” I say softly, stopping at the door of the stall to gauge her mood.

“Hey,” she answers, not looking up.

“Mariel, did I hurt you somehow?” I ask. No point in beating around the bush. “I’m sorry if I did. That was never my intention.”

She looks up at that, but her eyes dart away again.

Fuck. I did hurt her.

I step inside, closing the door behind me carefully so none of the baby strix can escape. They are little black clouds of impossible soft plumes the size of a medium dog, their striking blue eyes nearly glowing between the dark feathers. They hop around me, chirping in hopes of a treat.

I go over to Mariel, carefully avoiding the fluffy feather-balls flitting around me.

Crouching down, I settle one hand on her shoulder in comfort.

At that, she throws herself into my arms, catching me by surprise and nearly toppling me over.

I pat her hair and hold her while her body shakes with sobs.

Shit, what did I do?

“Uh, Mariel?” I ask tentatively, “What the fuck did I do?” This makes her laugh through her sobs, and she pulls back.

“I’m sorry. This is not just about you.” Her breath is still choppy, and she wipes at the tears running down her face. “I just thought we had a connection, and you were the first I ever asked out after Scott…and that wasn’t easy, and then… you didn’t show up without any explanation…” She hiccups.

It takes a while, but I finally managed to coax the whole story out of her.

Mariel asked me on an evening walk with her the night I met up with Sloan, and because I was so preoccupied with my plans, it didn’t even register.

Scott, on the other hand, had been Mariel’s fiancé, who joined the skyriders two years before us and lost his life during an accident in training.

“In the beginning, training was just…a way to cope with the pain, I guess…” Mariel shrugs. “And then…with his death, all my life plans had gone up in smoke…so I decided to join the skyriders to…feel close to him.” Mariel gives me a self-deprecating smile. “Pretty stupid…huh?”

“Fuck.” I heave out a breath after Mariel’s confession. “I’m so sorry you lost him, Mariel.” I hug her. “And no, I don’t think it’s stupid. Everyone copes with loss in their own way, and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m just so sorry I stood you up without even realizing it.”

She waves me off. “It’s fine. We just got along so well, and then you risked your life to save me…” She shrugs.

I huff out a breath. I only see one way to say this without hurting her any more than I already did. I trust Mariel. What is one more person knowing?

“Uh, I only ever saw you as a friend,” I tell her and rush on when I see her face fall, “because I’m kind of … uh … I’m a girl myself.” Mariel’s eyes go wide at my confession. Then her shoulders start to shake. Laughter bubbles out of her, and I can’t help but join in.

That is how Calix finds us, collapsed into each other’s arms, giggling. He shakes his head in confusion but seems visibly relieved.

We sit in the biggest of the classrooms—the theater.

The rows of chairs rise in steps behind me since we first years always sit in the front.

I snap my mouth shut when I realize it’s still hanging open.

Legatus Janus’s mouth is still moving as he stands at the front facing us, but all I keep hearing are the words that are the end to my beautiful plan.

“I have the honor to announce that General Blackstone and his staff will be visiting us at the end of the month…” I should have known it couldn’t mean anything good when Janus showed up at the end of the strategy meeting.

There is a ringing in my ears.

Fuck my life. Why does he have to come here, of all places?

It’s been two days since my heart-to-heart with Mariel, and everything between us is good again. My secrets are still safe. Tate just got back from patrol today, and I got to see him, so the world looked great until a few seconds ago.

“That is so great.” Calix bumps me with his shoulder. “Do you think we’ll get to meet him?”

I give him a weak smile. I hope not.

“Just think about it. To meet General Darren Blackstone personally. He’s the youngest general Belarra ever had, and they say…

” Calix goes on and on, and it’s very strange to listen to him hero-worshipping my brother when I would have described him so differently.

I would say that Dar gives the best hugs, looks the happiest when he plays with his daughter or is next to Elena, and hates the cookies Mom makes for solstice but eats one anyway so he doesn’t hurt her feelings.

But none of that will help me when he finds me here.

The whole room is alive with excitement, and I want to throw up. I fidget. I need a plan. And there is only one person I can ask for help.

I try to catch Joel’s gaze, but he avoids looking in my direction.

It has been a little awkward between us ever since our confrontation before I left for patrol.

Tate is frowning at me, and his gaze stays intense even when I try to appease him with a smile.

He’s too observant for anyone’s comfort.

I look at Joel again and nearly jump out of my seat when I feel a caress on my cheek.

I turn to Calix, but he’s in a conversation with Mariel.

What? How?

“What’s wrong?” Tate’s voice whispers next to my ear, and my eyes snap to him. He grins at me wickedly, and I feel like someone poured lightning down my veins.

“How?” I mouth to him.

“Air gifted, remember?” I see his lips move with the soft words that reach my ear. Then Jared asks him something, so he turns away, and my mind snaps back to the problem at hand.

I need to talk to Joel.

Instead of running to Joel as soon as the meeting ends, I wait next to the door, my fingers beating out a steady rhythm against my leg.

I grab his arm as he passes, mumbling a half-assed apology to the rider he had been talking to before dragging him into a niche down the hall.

“I can’t be here,” I whisper-shout.

“That’s what I’ve been telling you for two months now,” he says dryly.

“No, I mean when Da…” I look around. “Ah, the general comes.”

“I know,” he groans, his hands messing up his once impeccable hair.

“So you’ll help me?” I ask, holding my breath.

Resolve runs over his face, and I could kiss him for it, but that would definitely lead to unwanted questions. My face splits into a smile.

“I do value my life, don’t I?” he grumbles, but a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth as well.

“You sound like Sloan.” I push against his chest playfully. “My brothers aren’t that bad. You should know that. You grew up with them, and you’re Ben’s best friend, for goodness' sake.”

“Oh, I do know them.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “And I don’t think being Ben’s best friend will count for anything if Darren finds out I hid your whereabouts from him. Hell, Ben himself will murder me.”