Page 52

Chapter

Thirty-Four

TATE

When I wake the following morning, I can hardly move. Ara wrapped herself around me like an octopus. It seems like she deemed me far more comfortable than the stone floor. Her head is settled on my chest, her arm and leg wrapped over me.

Not that I’m complaining.

“Finally. I’m starving here,” Daeva mutters and hops up. Blinding sunlight washes over me since Daeva’s wing is no longer cloaking us, and I throw an arm over my eyes to shield them, cursing.

The sun is already high in the sky. No wonder Daeva is hungry. My stomach growls at the thought of food, but I ignore it.

Even though my position is hardly comfortable, I don’t want to move.

I watch Ara’s head rise and fall with every breath I take, and my fingers play with the strands that have come loose from her braid.

Her hair is so soft, and even with the dust, it’s nearly glowing in the sun.

When my gaze wanders back to her face, I find her watching me.

“Good morning.” I smile.

“Good morning, I…” She looks around, her eyes traveling over the cliff and the trees, then she pushes herself up and looks down at my body beneath her. “Sorry for … um … claiming your body like that.”

“Did I complain?” I ask, drinking her up with my eyes while subtly checking for any signs of discomfort or lingering effects of her fall.

She sits up fully now and stretches, looking around. I instantly miss her warmth.

“What happened?” she asks.

I sit up as well, swallowing a wince. My body does not appreciate the night on the hard and cold stone floor.

I recount my side of the events. Her eyes grow wider and wider while I talk.

“Fuck, sunshine, you scared me. You were barely alive when I found you and kept drifting in and out of consciousness.” I shake my head, cold all over from just thinking about it. “But all is good now. I got to you in time and healed you.”

“What?” she shouts.

I’m confused. What is her problem?

“Never, do you hear me, never heal me when I’m unconscious! Promise me,” she urges.

I shake my head, not understanding.

“Please.” She looks at me with big, pleading eyes. “Please promise me.”

“What if you would die otherwise?” I ask.

“Then I die.” She shrugs like it’s even a fucking option.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Anger swirls up fast and vicious. “You want me to stand by and let you die?” I shake my head at her.The thought alone rips me apart.

What kind of person does she take me for to ask something like that?

Louis bleeds out right in front of me while they hold me down.

I do everything they ask, promise them fucking everything and more, and still…

A knife slits Leo’s throat and his father’s while I thrash against my capturers.

Maybe if I had said something different…

if I hadn’t given in…or had given in faster…

“You think I could watch you die without lifting a finger?” I roar. “I’m not a fucking monster!”

“You’ll die too,” she yells. “It’s not you who is the fucking monster here.” Her breath hitches. She squeezes her eyes shut and clasps a hand over her mouth. Tears roll down her cheeks, and she dashes them away angrily.

“I don’t…I can’t…I’d rather die than be the cause of your death,” she whispers and bites her lip, visibly fighting for control. I can’t stand it.

I pull her into my arms. Harsh sobs shake her body like she will break apart at any moment, and I tighten my hold.

“Shhh, sunshine, you’re killing me here.” I rest my cheek against her hair.

Fuck, I would promise her nearly anything.

I continue holding her even after she has gone quiet.

“You probably noticed the scars,” Ara says, and I perk up. “I was never healed, and being a wild child, I had a lot of wounds and a few broken bones,” she rushes out in one breath, gulping in another. “My family always said it was to teach me to be more careful.”

My body goes rigid at that.

I’m going to fucking kill them.

“No, no, that came out wrong,” she says. “My mother is a healer, and it pained her to never be able to do anything for me.”

“What?”

“Um…” Ara clears her throat. “Let me start from the beginning. When I was three years old, I ran out after my brothers—like I said, I have four of them—and while Luc and Ben played in the gardens, I went after Dar and Ian. No one noticed right away.” She starts kneading her hands.

“They are a bit older and were competing with each other at the obstacle course used to train the recruits.” She laughs nervously.

“Not the best place for a three-year-old.”

At least that explains why she’s so fucking good on an obstacle course.

“My brothers found me unresponsive at the foot of the course, and they panicked. Dar scooped me up, and they ran to our mother. She set some broken bones, then started pouring her healing magic into me, but my wounds weren’t healing, and maybe she panicked too.

Either way, she wasn’t monitoring her energy levels.

“By the time my father arrived, my mom was too weak to stop. He pulled her away and carried her out of the room to sever the connection. Otherwise, I would have killed her. No one ever healed me—until you.” She looks at me, her eyes vulnerable and pleading.

It doesn’t make sense. Why would a grown healer not be able…unless—no, that is ridiculous.

My mind races. There has to be another explanation.

She called herself a monster. And that is what cursed ones are, but… could I have been so wrong about her?

I let her go and take a step back. Pain flashes over her face before she looks away. She walks over to the cliff—the growing distance between us more than just physical. Panic surges through me at seeing her walking away from me.

“I’m not going to harm you.” Her voice sounds bitter and wobbles on the last word. She’s facing away from me, giving me no chance to read her.

“Ara, look at me!”

She shakes her head.

“That’s not …fuck, you can’t just tell me something like that and expect I’ll go on like nothing happened.” She stays as she is, her arms wrapped around herself, her head bowed. I’m not even sure she heard me.

I grip my hair. She handed me her life without so much as a warning. I know what I’m supposed to do. I grew up with the knowledge. It was engraved into my brain during the time I trained as a healer, but…

She lifts her head, and her shoulders move with a deep breath. She turns to face me. Her face is full of quiet acceptance.

“Could you make it quick, and maybe…could you tell everyone I died in the fire?” Her request is quiet and calm, her head held high, but her breathing is too fast, too shallow, and her bottom lip trembles.

Denial settles like a massive boulder in my gut, threatening to bring me to my knees. My vision swims. I shake my head. She can’t mean what I just heard.

“Please, my family…they, they only tried to protect me.” She holds out her dagger, waiting for me to take it.

I try to swallow past the feelings lodged in my throat while I take it from her, my fingers numb. She looks down at the dagger, then back up at me.

I shouldn’t feel that conflicted about this. I grew up with the absolute certainty that cursed people are evil. But Ara?

“My dad gave it to me when I was ten,” Ara whispers. “I always keep it sharp, just in case…”

The meaning sinks in and rips me apart. She grew up with the knowledge that one day, someone would end her life simply for who she is.

I’m not going to harm you. Her words drift through me. She’s not even trying to fight me on this. Why isn’t she trying to get out of this? Taking my life instead?

“Why aren’t you fighting me?” I ask, my voice hoarse, my eyes searching hers.

She shakes her head.

“It’s alright…I always knew it would come to this… ” Her voice breaks. “I’m glad I met you. I’m glad I kissed you.” She gives me a watery smile. “Despite everything.”

The pieces of me she aligned vibrate, ready to burst apart again. My chest is so raw that every breath hurts. Suddenly, her face takes Louis’s place, then Leo’s. It’s her blood pouring out, her eyes full of pain and then going empty. Darkness threatens to pull me under.

“Why aren’t you fighting me?” I yell, angry now that she gives up so easily.

“The first time you healed me…” Her voice is soft and quiet. “I was devastated at the thought that I had to kill you to get away unnoticed.” She shakes her head again. “I won’t do it.”

“And I can’t kill you.” The words burst out, and I realize they’re true. I can’t do it.

“I won’t let you hand me over.” She shakes her head, determination settling over her face. “I won’t.” She lunges for the dagger in my hand, and ice-cold fear grips me. Not for me, but for her.

I whip the blade out of her reach, then twist and pin her to me with my other arm. My body shakes with the realization of what she just tried to do. That she nearly stole her life after placing it in my hands…just when I decided to keep it, to keep her, no matter the costs.

I slide the dagger into a free loop at the back of my belt and wrap my second arm around her, holding on to her. She tugs and wriggles, but I have her pinned.

Losing her in that accident yesterday would have killed me. Losing her like this would have annihilated me.

“Let me go.” She stomps on my foot, and I hiss. “If you don’t let me go, I will drain you,” she threatens, and calmness settles over me. I made the right choice.

“No, you won’t,” I tell her.

“Are you sure about that?” she taunts, and I realize it’s not me who needs persuasion but her.

“Yes, it’s not who you are,” I say, and she snorts in disbelief. “Why did you step between me and the lightning?” I challenge her.

“Because it would have killed you,” she grunts while she lets her full weight sit on my arms by pulling up her legs. If she thinks I’ll let her fall, she can wait an eternity.

“And you knew it wouldn’t harm you?” I ask.

She snorts again. “I know fucking nothing unless you count the things told in all the stories and…” She pauses. “And we weren’t always hunted… and the dragon said… it’s magic.”