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“What I’m trying to say here…” She bites her lip. “I just want you to know that I’m not breaking all the rules.”

“Okay?” I still have no clue where she’s going with this.

“I didn’t sleep with him,” she rushes out.

“I just wanted you to know that. Not that I think you’re interested,” she hurries to add, then huffs out a breath, looking at her feet.

“Gods, this is awkward.” She laughs embarrassedly.

“Well, now you know, and… I’ll do my best to ignore I ever said that. ”

A smile stretches my lips, and breathing becomes easier. She’s adorable all flustered like this. It reminds me of how she acted the first time I healed her.

She slips out the door before I have the chance to say anything. Her steps are so soft she doesn’t make a sound, like the night simply swallowed her.

I like this brutally honest, flustered version of her. It makes me think of the way she reacts to my touch.

I imagine her skin pebbling, her breath hitching while I trace her soft, soft skin. Her silky golden strands wrapped around my hand, her pouty lips swollen…

Fuck, now I’m turned on. I run a hand through my hair.

I have no idea how she can think I don’t want her, but holy mists, I would be clay in her hands if she ever seriously tried to seduce me.

She is not with Cassius.

I hum when I head back to my room.

Not that it changes anything. She’s still off-limits. But… I shake my head. Don’t even go there .

I remember how she faced Vega. Recall the way her eyes widen sometimes, like the words spilling out of her mouth surprised her. Her silent laughter when she stepped out of my arms yesterday.

I grin. Something about the amused and unapologetic way she faces life is … fascinating.

Ara

I’m on my way to meet my temporary flight in the courtyard. One thing I look forward to is that my being gone will give Joel time to cool down. I have no intention of letting him yell at me again, but that plan goes down the drain when he waits in the corridor ahead of me. Dammit.

He gestures to the open door of an empty classroom. I contemplate whether to keep walking, but the only thing I want even less is him making a scene in front of the whole flight, in front of Tate.

Joel shuts the door and leans against it, probably ready to start his spiel about smuggling me out again.

I sigh and hold up my hand to stop him before he even starts.

“It wouldn’t work. Tate knows I’m a girl, and Foley took a personal interest in my demise, so there is no way you can get me out of the city before someone catches up to us.”

“I don’t like that Kyronos and you are so cozy,” he grumbles.

I scoff at that. Cozy would be the last word I’d use to describe whatever is or isn’t between Tate and me. Especially after my awkward rambling last night.

“We are not.”

“You jumped to his rescue, getting yourself lit up like a bonfire in the process, and I saw his grin after helping you during training. What was that last night?” He challenges my words.

“And whose fault is it that he knows about me?” I incline my head, staring him down, ignoring what he said.

“Fine.” He throws up his hands, agitated. “But you were hurt and didn’t tell me.”

“No, no, don't try to blame me now. I had it under control, and you overreacted.” I point my finger at him.

“Just keep away from him, okay?” he commands. He tries to soften it to a question, but he’s not fooling me. What is it with the men in my life always trying to order me around?

“That will be hard since I’m currently in his flight, and he’s my centurion, and you know I hate when I’m told what to do,” I hiss. What the fuck is his problem anyway? Tate has done nothing but help me so far.

“Even you wouldn’t jump in his bed only because I told you to stay away.” He scoffs like I’m being ridiculous.

I narrow my eyes. I don’t like this side of Joel. I can’t believe I was ever attracted to this cocky, demanding bastard.

“Is that a challenge?” My voice drips honey, daring him to say just one more word on this. He throws up his hands, anger written all over his face, and stalks toward me.

“What are you trying to prove here? That you can have him if you want to? Congratulations, no question there.” He’s seething now.

“Just stay away from him. He’s bad news and a coldhearted bastard who cares about no one but himself.

He may be above me in rank, but believe me when I say it won’t stop me from warning him off if you can’t be reasoned with.

” He’s getting in my face now, but I refuse to budge even an inch.

When I don’t react, he continues, “And if that doesn’t help keep his fingers off you, I will write your brothers…

all of them.” I gasp, and his eyes lower for a second before they are back on mine.

How fucking dare he?

“That is such a low blow I won’t even acknowledge you said that.” I’m so angry I wouldn’t be surprised if I burst into flames. “You have no right to tell me what I can or can’t do.” I drill my finger into his chest. When he snatches my arm, I resume with the other one.

He leans in. “I don’t get it. You have a wonderful life in front of you.

You’ll have everything you could ever ask for, but you are out here risking all of it.

Why?” He steps back, releasing my arms. “Just because you feel like it? For the thrill? Because you want to experience some adventures before settling down? Grow up already, Ara.”

“Exactly. You don’t get it, so keep out of it. Don’t try to make decisions or pressure me into the ones you think are right for me.”

“Then explain it to me!” Joel roars.

“I can’t!” I shout back.

“Can’t or won’t?” he yells before continuing more quietly, “I thought we were friends.”

“I don’t want to be protected and cared for all the time,” I explode, not letting him mellow me with the I-thought-we-were-friends crap.

That seems to take him aback. “Why would you not want that?”

“Every one of my steps watched, judged for everything I do or don’t do.

Not able to move without someone around me, keeping an eye on me.

” Disgust drips from every word. I laugh humorlessly.

“Sounds like a dream. Or what about all the things I’m expected to spend my time on?

Have you seen me do…” I wave my hands around, looking for the best word to describe it. “Girly courtly stuff, like… ever?”

He rubs his neck, the fight gone.

“Um, no?”

“Well, I’m abhorrently rotten at it,” I tell him. “My five-year-old niece is better in most things expected of me. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is? How scared I am of disappointing all of them?”

“You don’t want to live at court?” He looks confused.

“Oh, I absolutely love the thought of marrying a stranger and living in a strange place I have never seen before, away from my family,” I say dryly.

“What do you think?” I raise my hand before he can answer.

“Forget I asked. The point is you all stamped me as irresponsible and reckless and can’t see that I would hang the fucking moon for the people I love, even if it cuts me apart.

” I huff out a breath, fighting to keep my voice stable when I’m reminded of Tate’s cutting words from last night.

“You always seemed to judge me less,” I whisper. “Guess I was wrong.”

I use his stunned silence to escape, and it feels like déjà vu. I’m glad I’ll be gone for a week.