Page 31 of Fan Favorite
“A contract?” Bailey looked genuinely confused.
“That’s what she said—Peter gave you both contracts guaranteeing you spots at the end. And then she said I was just a one-episode sideshow.”
“That’s mean!” Bailey exclaimed. “You’re not a sideshow. You’re fabulous.”
“And the way you’ve been playing this, Pepper, you’re definitely gonna be on at least two episodes,” Max joked.
“Is it true, though?” Edie pressed.
“Of course not!” Bailey said. “I think I’ve spoken to Peter maybe one time, and it was way back during casting.
He talks to you way more than the rest of us.
And I don’t think Bennett would let Peter decide who’s at the end anyway.
Do you? Bennett’s looking for his true love.
I think it’s important and real for him.
” Her face softened, as if her dream wedding was playing out in her mind’s eye.
“True love’s gonna find its way—that’s what I believe.
No dumb volleyball game’s gonna stop it. You just wait and see.”
They all thought about that for a moment, but before Edie could decide if she agreed—true love had become seriously confusing—the door opened, and Jessa strode in with a bottle of craft services rosé and a stack of plastic cups.
“Edie Pepper, are you a graduate of the Bethenny Frankel School for Girls, or what? Way to snag that screentime, bitch! What a group date debut!”
Edie stood up quickly. “Oh my god, Jessa, is he okay?”
Jessa set the cups on the table and unscrewed the wine. “Please. He’s fine. Never better.” She poured. “If anything, you did him a favor. His nose needed more character. Before he was like, whatever handsome. But now he’ll have gravitas!”
Edie pulled the windbreaker’s hood over her head and folded herself over the table. “Oh my god, I hate myself. Can I go home? Please? Jessa, please get me a ticket home.”
“You can’t quit now. We haven’t even started traveling yet!” Max exclaimed. She turned to Jessa. “We’re going to Everest, right? Base camp? I brought my winter gear.”
“I’ll never tell,” Jessa said. “But the travel location is great. A can’t-miss.”
Edie lifted her head an inch from the table. “Great. Maybe I can accidentally knock him off a mountain this time. Yodelay hee hoo, oh no, she killed him!”
“The ratings would skyrocket,” Jessa said, passing around the wine. “Peter’d be thrilled.”
Edie dropped her head dramatically back onto the table— thunk .
“We need you,” Bailey said, rubbing Edie’s back like a mother. “What if we go to New York? Who’s going to take me to the Olive Garden in Times Square? You promised. You said, ‘Bailey, the people watching is insane, and I know you don’t eat bread, but at Olive Garden, you will.’ ”
“Besides,” Jessa said. “I already know how we’re going to fix this.”
Edie sat up slowly, ever the optimist. “You do?”
“I do.” Jessa smirked. “We’re going to change the narrative entirely. Out with the old, in with the new.” She raised her glass to toast. “It’s time for a makeover.”
“Eeeeeeeee!” Bailey squealed, spilling her wine, and Edie’s, all over the table.
To: Jessa Johnson; J. Daniel Peterman
From: Peter Kennedy
Subject: Makeover Montage / Cinderella Fantasy Date
Jessa/Daniel,
Thanks for the hard work shuffling the schedule so we can get Edie’s makeover and Cinderella fantasy date together this week. I realize it’s no small task.
Dan, I asked you to think outside the box and deliver a makeover proposal that puts Edie’s strength and determination front and center, and I think you’ve achieved that.
It’s approved to shoot tomorrow. (I doubt there’s money to license the song, but feel free to ask Jeremy.
If not, I’m sure he can get you some AI-generated workout beats.)
Jessa, I asked you to give me a Cinderella date that was both fresh and nostalgic and I love what you’ve come up with. It’s approved to shoot Monday.
Also, we need everyone off the Bennett injury story. Jessa, work with Tegan in PR and book him on one of the infotainment shows. Or Us/People . But I want at least a two-page spread—no sidebar or web-only bullshit. America needs to see he’s the virile stud they know and love.
Keep up the good work.
P
TAKE 5 PRODUCTIONS
THE KEY
EDIE PEPPER MAKEOVER
[PROPOSAL BY J. DANIEL PETERMAN]
____________________
MAKEOVER MONTAGE
INT: OLD SCHOOL BOXING GYM – DAY
Punching bags on rusty chains, smelly mats, a fraying American flag pinned to the wall—you gotta want it to train here. You gotta claw your way to the top.
A spotlight flicks on with a BUZZ. There’s a WOMAN in the middle of the ring. Her hoodie’s pulled low. Her body’s wilted like a bolt’s been loosened, sinking her head, shoulders, and arms toward the floor. But if you look closer you can see it in the clench of her fist—grit.
MUSIC UP: “LOSE YOURSELF” BY EMINEM
EMINEM
Look, if you had, one shot,
one opportunity,
to seize everything you ever wanted,
in one moment,
would you capture it?
Or just let it slip?
Metal doors CLANG. Footsteps POP. A TEAM enters, striding side by side, superheroes with blow-dryers, clothing racks, and medical equipment.
The WOMAN looks up. It’s EDIE.
QUICK CUTS:
… EDIE runs on the beach; she’s struggling. The DATING COACH yells—
DATING COACH
No pain! No pain!
… EDIE’s laid out on a weightlifting bench. Waxing strips are stuck all over her face. Hands appear and rip them off. EDIE moans.
… in the locker room, A HAIRSTYLIST shows EDIE how to dry her hair.
HAIRSTYLIST
She’s never going to get it.
DATING COACH
She’s got to.
… back on the beach, EDIE trips and falls.
… EDIE stares straight ahead, struggling to keep a glowing Crest 3DWhitestrips Blue Light? LED teeth whitener in her mouth, as a syringe enters the frame. It punctures her brow.
… a very full glass of green juice. EDIE refuses to drink it.
DATING COACH
You want to get married?
EDIE chugs.
… EDIE collapses in the sand. And then finds it within herself to start crawling.
DATING COACH
That’s it! That’s it!
… the DATING COACH holds up a tiny thong and giant pair of Spanx. EDIE chooses the Spanx. The TEAM cheers.
… EDIE applies her own lipstick. The TEAM cheers.
… the DATING COACH shows EDIE how to toss her hair and smile. EDIE masters it. The TEAM cheers.
… the HAIRSTYLIST and MAKEUP ARTIST put the finishing touches on EDIE’s hair and face. She’s never looked this beautiful.
… EDIE back in the ring, twirling in a variety of fairy-tale ball gowns.
… LAST SHOT: brand-new, super gorgeous EDIE steps in front of a mirror. A promotional photo of the CONTESTANTS is stuck in the corner. EDIE picks it up, crumples it, throws it over her shoulder.
She smiles.
Her teeth are blinding.