Page 28 of Fan Favorite
“Dr. Kang,” the doctor said, shaking their hands.
“The patient”—he referred to his iPad—“Charles Bennett, confirmed I could speak with you. It’s a broken nose.
Apparently, he broke it in his teens—reinjury can be common.
At this point everything looks superficial; we’ve reset it. He shouldn’t need surgery.”
“That’s great news!” Jessa said, enthusiastically shaking Peter’s bicep. “See, P, everything’s going to be okay.”
“But what about his face?” Peter asked. “He’s the star of our show. When can he start filming again?”
“It’s swollen, but that will go down with time. Ice packs, ibuprofen, rest.”
Peter’s phone began pinging loudly and repeatedly. He dug it out from his pocket as the doctor continued. “Possibly his orbital sphere will bruise as the blood makes its way from the site of injury—”
“Fuck!” Peter yelled. “The tabloids have it!” He shoved the phone at Jessa. “How do the tabloids have it?” Peter scanned the Google alert—
KEY STAR BENNETT CHARLES SEVERELY INJURED IN “FREAK ACCIDENT”
KEY SUITOR HOSPITALIZED IN LOS ANGELES
THE KEY ’S BENNETT CHARLES IN “EMERGENCY SURGERY”
KEY STAR SUFFERS “EXTREME” FACIAL INJURY
BENNETT CHARLES GRAVELY INJURED ON SET—IS THIS THE END OF THE KEY ?
“Oh my god,” Peter groaned, scanning the articles. “‘This isn’t the first time showrunner Peter Kennedy has been in hot water,’” he read aloud. “Blah, blah, blah, Wyatt Cash—see, Jessa! I told you—”
And then his phone started ringing. Carole Steele, New York, New York.
Peter’s eyes went wild and instantly he threw the phone down the hallway.
It skidded across the floor and came to rest under the nurses’ station, where Yolanda looked up from a chart and glared before kicking it back out again.
It settled in the middle of the corridor, blinking and flashing and vibrating.
“Sir, do you need a Xanax?” Dr. Kang asked. “Because I’m going to need you to calm down. This is a center of healing.”
“He definitely needs a Xanax,” Jessa said.
“I was being facetious,” Dr. Kang said.
“I was perfectly fine before she”—Peter pointed at Jessa—“gave me that Coke.”
Dr. Kang assessed Peter. “At this point I should make it clear we don’t allow illegal drugs on hospital grounds. I will call security.”
“Coca-Cola,” Jessa clarified, shoving Peter through the door of Bennett’s room.
“Thank you so much, Doctor. I’ll make sure he behaves himself, and we’ll be out of your hair in no time.
But while I have you here, is there someone I can talk to about taking maybe just one camera into our patient’s room?
Maybe you can help with that? Just for a minute?
I’m sure you can imagine how documenting our star’s injury would be an important part of documenting his journey. We’ll be quick.”
“You’d have to go down to hospital administration, but they’re unlikely to approve.
We just had a Housewife in last week for a vaginoplasty, and they put the kibosh on that before the very first Kegel.
Cedars is better for that sort of thing—the doctors think they’re celebrities.
It’s embarrassing, really.” Dr. Kang looked Jessa up and down and then smiled a smile that had clearly worked for him many times before.
“But how about you take in one camera, we’ll keep it between us, and when you’re done, we go for a drink? ”
Jessa looked Dr. Kang up and down and smiled a smile that had clearly worked for her many times before. “After today, I’m going to need at least three.” She leaned in. “And I’m definitely into recreational Viagra, so don’t forget the samples.”
WYATT CASH TALKS BENNETT CHARLES’S “MAJOR” ON-SET INJURY
Added by E!NewsNow
2.3 million views / cc
[RYAN SEACREST]
Hey guys, I’m Ryan Seacrest, and this is E!
News Now . According to reports, Key star Bennett Charles was rushed into emergency surgery Thursday afternoon.
Sources say the extreme sports adventurer was filming in Malibu when, in a “freak accident,” he took a fall so severe it might just end the season.
[INTRO CREDITS]
[RYAN SEACREST]
We’ve got The Key ’s very own Wyatt Cash in the studio. Hey, Wyatt.
[WYATT CASH]
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit, Ryan, I am shook .
[RYAN SEACREST]
I think we all are, Wyatt. What have you heard about Bennett’s condition?
[WYATT CASH]
Sorry to say it ain’t good, Ryan, it ain’t good. Word on the street is Bennett Charles fell right on his face. And now he’s looking less like one of those Hemsworth brochachos and more like a slice of Mamaw’s blueberry pie.
[RYAN SEACREST]
Ouch! The network says: “Reports of an accident on The Key are wildly overblown. While this is by far The Key’ s most dramatic season ever—premiering November 3rd on RX—this specific incident was a minor mishap and filming will resume as scheduled this week.”
[WYATT CASH]
As a son of Jesus, I believe in miracles. But even Kris Jenner takes time off when she gets her face done. I bet you a nickel the next time we see Bennett Charles is when Billy Eichner plays him on Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story: The Key .
[RYAN SEACREST]
I hope you’re wrong, Wyatt. Bennett Charles, we wish you well! Wyatt, can we talk about your own painful exit from the show? How are you doing?
[WYATT CASH]
That’s mighty kind of you, Ryan. Being forced out of the closet on the front page of the tabloids—I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
But I am blessed. Never before have I been able to live my truth and now that I am, I promise never to lie to America again.
Which is why I’m starring in Hulu’s brand-new reality dating show for gay men: COCKBLOCKERS !
In a house of twenty-five men, who will get rocked? And who will get COCKBLOCKED?
[RYAN SEACREST]
That’s great, Wyatt. Why are Mandy Moore and other celebrity moms eating their placentas? Find out right after this.