Page 23 of Falling Together

Chapter 23

Blair

Fuck my fucking immune system,

Blair thought to herself as she broke into another coughing fit.

Shit. No wonder Erin and Nolan were in such rough shape all weekend. This is no joke.

“Could you hand me my phone?” Blair asked Erin, pointing in the general direction of where it might be.

A few seconds later, the phone was in her hand. Blair could barely look at it since her head hurt so bad, but she had to call her boss to let her know she couldn’t come in. She was actually disappointed about missing work. In the past, she always thought she’d love any excuse to miss work, but Blair really enjoyed this job. The kids were great and they constantly kept her entertained, even when they were being completely feral.

It only took two rings for Blair’s boss to pick up the phone. “Hey, Joyce. I’m really sorry to do this, but I came down with something and I’m not going to be able to come in today. Honestly, I’m not too sure about tomorrow either. I’m so sorry for letting you know at the last minute. I was fine when I went to bed, but now…” She couldn’t finish her sentence because she started to cough

again.

“Well, yeah. As you can hear, I’m not doing too great. If I could come without risking getting the kids sick I would, but—”

“Blair,” Joyce interrupted her rambling. “I completely understand. This happens a lot because of all of the germs that spread throughout the building. Just take good care of yourself and let me know once you are feeling well enough to come back. I’ll plan on you being out until I hear otherwise.”

Even though she didn’t have much work experience, Blair still understood how lucky she was to have such an understanding boss. She couldn’t say Joyce was the

best

boss she had ever had, seeing as how she knew for a fact the other person she had worked for looked

very good

naked.

Erin also looked amazing when she wasn’t naked, and the way she was looking at Blair with wide, caring eyes made Blair want to beg her to stay in bed with her all day. She didn’t want to encourage Erin to be irresponsible, especially since she was trying to prove to her how responsible she could be, so she forced herself out of bed. “It looks like I’ll be spending the next day or two at home, but I’ll let you know as soon as I’m feeling better and maybe we can do another movie night…?”

Much to Blair’s surprise, Erin shook her head. “Absolutely not. I’m the one who got you sick. I’m going to call my boss and tell him I need to work from home today and tomorrow.”

“You can do that?” Blair was actually amazed that Erin was

willing

to do that. For her. She was also pretty sure her heart was currently as warm as her head.

Erin shrugged. “I should probably tell him it’s for Nolan, not for a very sexy woman, but yes. It shouldn’t be any problem at all.”

“Wow.” For once Blair was at a loss for words. “Thank you. That’s amazing. I promise I won’t bother you. I’ll most likely lay around all day.”

“Do me a favor?” Erin stood from the bed and rested her hands on Blair’s hips. “

Please

bother me today.”

Blair swallowed hard. She was pretty sure Erin didn’t mean for her words to sound as sexual as they did, but that’s exactly where Blair’s mind went. If she didn’t feel like such a big steaming pile of shit, she probably would’ve taken a chance and asked Erin to get back in bed with her for a little bit of fun.

Maybe once I’m better… if she’s ready.

Erin’s eyes went wide as she stared at Blair, waiting for a response that Blair couldn’t form because her mind was on other things. “Shoot. That sounded really bad, didn’t it?”

Blair squeezed Erin’s sides and smirked. “I don’t know. If you ask me, it sounded pretty damn good.”

Erin shook her head at Blair and gently poked her in the chest. “

You

need to relax today, so you can feel better.”

“And what’s going to happen when I feel better?” Blair lifted an eyebrow. She knew she was giving Erin a hard time, but it was impossible not to tease her.

Erin’s face turned red, and her smile dropped. Blair’s plan to be flirty had definitely failed. “I…. I don’t know. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not saying it will never happen. I just—”

Blair squeezed Erin’s sides again. As cute as Erin looked when she was flustered, Blair also didn’t want to upset her. “It’s okay. Breathe. No pressure, all right? Whatever you want to take, I’m willing to give.”

Erin put her head on Blair’s shoulder. “I don’t deserve you. You know that, right?”

That wasn’t true, and Blair would do anything she possibly could to prove it to her. “You deserve the world.”

Erin laughed. “That’s even

more

proof that I don’t. You’re such an amazing person, and I’m just me, and for whatever reason, you have me up on a high pedestal.”

How does she not realize how amazing she is?

“You’re not

just you.

You’re the greatest mom in the entire world, but you’re also ridiculously funny. And even though you try to act like you’re not, you’re a huge flirt, and I love that. On top of all of that, you’re also extremely sexy.”

“How sexy?” Erin smirked and leaned in close, her eyes shutting right before her lips grazed Blair’s.

Or, at least, they would’ve grazed Blair’s if a little voice hadn’t chosen that exact moment to scream out to them.

“Mommy! Bear! I awake!”

Erin laughed and shook her head as she pulled away from Blair. “Another day, another interruption.”

Blair booped Erin’s nose to let her know it was okay. “At least he’s a

very

cute interruption.”

“He really is, isn’t he?”

“Mommy! Why aren’t you talking to me?”

Erin rolled her eyes. “He kind of has to be, though. It keeps me from killing him.”

Nolan pushed through the door at that very moment, hair sticking out in all sorts of directions, as he put his hands on his hips and glared at the two of them. Blair tried her best not to laugh since a little boy in Bluey pajamas was probably the least threatening sight in the world.

“Why won’t you come get me?” he asked angrily.

Blair left Erin’s side and knelt down in front of Nolan. “Sorry, buddy. You know how you’re feeling so much better now?” When Nolan nodded his head, Blair continued. “Well, that’s because your germs left you and jumped onto me. Now I’m sick. Your mommy was trying to help me feel better, so that’s why we couldn’t come get you right away.”

Nolan brought his hand to his mouth and giggled. “My germs jumped on you?”

Blair widened her eyes and nodded. “They did.”

Much to Blair’s surprise, Nolan stopped laughing and wrapped her in a tight hug. “It’s okay. I take care of you.”

Erin walked over to Nolan and put her hand on his head. “

You

need to go to school today, mister.”

With just one sentence, the sweet little boy was gone and the feral monster returned. Nolan jumped up and down, stomping his feet hard on the ground. If Blair’s head wasn’t already pounding, Nolan’s meltdown definitely would’ve done it. “No! I take care of Bear! I went to school tomorrow.”

Blair was sure this was the side of things Erin was talking about when she said she was worried dating a single mom would be too much for her to handle. This only proved even more that she

was

ready to handle it. Sure, she

kind of

wanted to throw Nolan out a window right now, but she also knew the moment would pass and he would do something to steal her heart all over again.

She needed to think fast, because the more he shouted, the worse she felt, and she might actually yell at him if she didn’t think of a way to calm him down.

“Sweetie, Blair just needs sleep. If you’re here, she won’t sleep at all because she’ll be so excited about hanging out with you. If she doesn’t rest quietly, by herself, it will take her longer to get better, and until she’s better, she won’t be able to do fun things like carry you on her shoulders and run around with you. Wouldn’t you rather she gets better faster so you two can do all of that?”

Saved by the mom.

Thank you, Erin.

Nolan was quiet for a moment as he wrinkled his nose as if he was deep in thought. “No.”

“No?”

Shit.

Blair really thought Erin had won this battle.

“No. I want to play NOW!”

“Well, that’s not happening.” Erin picked up a screaming Nolan and carried him out of the room. “You can see Blair when you get home. You’re going to school.”

Blair tried to follow them, but Erin turned around at the open doorway and pointed a finger at her as if Blair was her second child. “

Not

you. You need to get back in bed.”

Blair brought her hand up to her head and saluted Erin. “Yes, Ma’am.”

Unfortunately, Nolan must’ve had her super stressed because she didn’t even crack a smile at Blair’s teasing. Blair got back into bed and shut her eyes, but it was no use. It was impossible to sleep when she could hear Erin struggling so much downstairs. She had to admit, though, she was pretty happy Erin had demanded she stay in bed, because she

really

didn’t want to be dealing with that right now.

Is this what it’s like to be a parent? Feeling both guilty and relieved all at once? Having a child get on your last nerve but also doing everything in your power to protect that child?

It certainly wasn’t for the weak. Blair was sure of that, and it explained why her feelings for Erin just continued to grow stronger. The fact that Erin could do this on her own was mind-blowing. Blair knew she never could.

After an hour of shouting and what Blair could only assume was a ton of tears from both parties, Erin and Nolan finally left the house, leaving Blair in complete silence for the first time since waking up.

Why do I love this but also hate it at the same time?

She didn’t have much time to think about that question, because without the distraction of Erin and Nolan, her tiredness took over and she drifted off to sleep.

***

When Blair woke back up, it was to the sound of someone typing on a keyboard close to her. She opened her eyes and found Erin with her work laptop open, sitting in bed right beside Blair as if she were waiting to see what Blair needed from her.

Before Blair could say anything, Erin snapped her head around to look at her. “Hey there, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?”

As soon as Blair opened her eyes more fully, she became aware of her pounding headache once again. She wiped at her nose with her arm, because she really had no other option since her snot was currently running out of her nose like a waterfall. “I’m okay.”

Erin stared at her and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Are you sure about that?”

She looked down at Blair’s arm, which now had a line of snot across it.

Awesome. So much for impressing her.

“Sorry. Not my finest moment. I must look like such a mess right now.”

“Kind of.” Erin’s smile became a smirk. “But it’s okay, because you’re literally the definition of a

hot

mess.”

“So, you think I’m hot, hmm?” Blair leaned forward in the hope of kissing Erin, but she had to turn away at the last second when she broke into yet another coughing fit.

Man, I really wish I was still asleep. This is a nightmare.

“You’re very hot.” Erin brought her hand up to Blair’s forehead. “In more ways than one, unfortunately. God, I feel so bad that I got you sick.”

“If it makes you feel better, we can blame Nolan.” Blair laughed, but that caused her to cough again and made her head and throat hurt even more.

Just kill me now.

“I think that makes the most sense. I swear I used to never get sick and then I had him, and

boom

, sick all of the time. Kids are germ monsters.”

“Speaking of which, how did you finally get Nolan out of the house this morning?”

“Honestly?” Erin visibly cringed. “I might have promised to take him to McDonald’s after daycare.”

“Hmm, really?” Blair tapped on her chin as if she was thinking. “I feel like I remember a certain someone lecturing

me

about taking him to McDonald’s when I first started babysitting. I believe you told me I showed him I was weak.”

“Ah, but here’s the difference between us. I have already established my dominance, so he knows who’s in charge, even if I give in now and then.”

“Is that so?” This fun, playful banter between them was actually the perfect medicine for Blair. It almost had her forgetting about how shitty she was feeling.

Almost.

Erin laughed and playfully pushed Blair’s shoulder. “Whatever. I can’t help it that I’m a softie.”

“I think I might be a softie too. Is that going to be a problem if you ever let me cross over into the more-than-friends territory?”

As soon as the words left Blair’s mouth, she realized she shouldn’t have crossed that line. Just the mention of being more than friends had Erin tensing up beside her. Plus, what was meant to be a joke might have been taken a little too seriously by Erin.

“I… well…” Erin opened and closed her mouth as though she kept changing her mind about what she wanted to say. “I don’t know. It could be, I guess. I’m honestly not even sure how Bianca parented because she barely ever did it.”

“When was the last time you talked to Bianca?” Blair normally wouldn’t push the subject, but she had already made things awkward, so she figured why not.

Erin was definitely surprised by Blair’s question, but in her defense, she recovered very quickly. “Aside from legal things, the last time we

really talked

was the day she left.”

Blair had to stop her eyes from popping out of her head, because that shocked her. How could you spend ten years with someone and not have a longer fallout? “Did you talk about the possibility of divorce before she ended up leaving?”

Erin sighed and shut her laptop, making Blair feel guilty about pushing the subject when she was nice enough to take care of her. “No, we didn’t. There were definite signs that things weren’t good between us, but the problem was that they also weren’t

bad.

Maybe that’s my fault since I refused to fight with her. Every time she left the house to do her own thing, I just let her. I was petrified that if I brought anything up and pissed her off, she would leave me. I guess that backfired since she left anyway, huh?”

“Shit.” Blair reached out and took Erin’s hand. She wasn’t sure she should ask the question that just popped into her head, but Blair wanted to put the idea out there in case it could help Erin. “Have you ever thought about talking to her about exactly what went wrong? I feel like you have so many questions. Maybe it would be good for you to get some answers. You know, for closure?”

Erin stared straight ahead for a long time, and the expression on her face gave nothing away. She chewed on her bottom lip as if there were words she was trying to hold inside.

Blair squeezed Erin’s hand. “Just say it.”

Erin shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”

Blair didn’t believe that one bit. “There has to be something you

want

to say. I think you’re just not saying it because you feel like you shouldn’t.”

“Honestly, my gut reaction was to make some rude remark like ‘What are you? My therapist?’ but what good would that have done?”

Blair shrugged. “It would’ve shown me you were pissed at my question. And you know what? I would’ve gotten pissed right back, because I was just trying to help.” Blair tried to keep the bite out of her tone, but the truth was she

was

a little annoyed. She wasn’t sure if she felt more annoyed that Erin was blowing her off when she was trying to help or that she was avoiding being honest with her.

“See! That’s why I bite my tongue.”

“But you shouldn’t!” Blair’s voice was much louder than she meant for it to be, and she didn’t do a good job of hiding her annoyance, but wasn’t that kind of the point? “Not with me. You should be honest with me. And if we fight, you know what? Then we fight! And later, we make up. I’m not going to be scared away by one bad moment or even a bad day or month. You don’t have to be perfect with me. I’d prefer that you’re not.”

“Okay.”

“Okay? Really? That’s all?” Blair had to hold back a growl. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was sick, but right now she couldn’t handle Erin’s avoidance tactics. “Listen, I’m going to close my eyes and take a nap.”

“Are… are you mad at me?”

Erin sounded so sad. Even if Blair had been mad at her, that soft, sweet voice would’ve snapped her out of it. “I’m not mad. I’m just sick and also a little bit frustrated, but I’m not mad. I promise.”

“Do you want some space, or is it okay if I snuggle you?”

Blair smiled in spite of her frustration. “I would love it if you snuggled me.”

Erin smiled in relief and put her arm out. Blair snuggled into her and lay her head on Erin’s chest. As she fell asleep to the sound of Erin’s beating heart, Blair realized why she was so frustrated that Erin couldn’t seem to move on from her past. It was because while Erin was still holding onto past pain, Blair was slowly but surely falling in love with her.