Page 16 of Falling Together
Chapter 16
Erin
“Ouch. Stop picking my nose, dude.”
Erin opened her eyes to find Nolan rolling around on the bed while Blair tickled him.
“Be quiet, or we’re going to wake your mommy,” Blair told him as she continued her attack.
“Too late,” Erin said with a yawn. “I’m awake.”
“Told you.” Blair playfully poked Nolan on his side and looked up at Erin. “Sorry. I woke up to this little dude’s finger up my nose.”
Erin couldn’t help but laugh, because the same had definitely happened to her when she was forced to share a bed with Nolan in the past. “Been there.”
“The worst.” Blair scrunched up her nose as if she was disgusted, but the wide grin never left her face. “So, how’d you sleep last night?”
Erin had to think about how to answer that, because it was a very loaded question. Last night had been both the best and worst sleep of her life. She had no clue how that was possible, but it was definitely the case. Every time she drifted off to sleep, she slept more soundly than she had in a very long time, but she found herself awake multiple times throughout the night just watching Blair. No matter how hard Erin tried, she couldn’t take her eyes off Blair snuggled close to Nolan. Each time, she stared at them until her eyes could not stay open any longer and she drifted back to sleep. At one point, she woke up to find her hand had somehow ended up on top of Blair’s. She told herself to move it, but she couldn’t. Touching Blair felt safe. It felt right. It made her feel like maybe all of the bad things that had happened during her life really weren’t so bad because they had brought her to this moment.
Erin squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t think that way. Thinking like that would result in her and Nolan getting hurt, and she refused to let that happen again.
“I slept pretty well, actually,” Erin answered when she finally remembered the question Blair had asked her.
Blair laughed. “Honestly? Aside from the whole finger in the nose incident, so did I.”
“You were snoring,” Nolan said with a shrug, as if that was a logical reason to shove his finger up someone’s nostril.
Blair crossed her arms and (very fakely with a big shit-eating grin on her face) glared at Nolan. “I
do not
snore.”
“Actually, you do.” It was something Erin had noticed when she was (totally
not
creepily) watching Blair sleep. She wasn’t a loud snorer. The little noises that left her nose were super adorable.
“Really? You’re going to gang up on me now, too?” Blair looked from Erin to Nolan. “Should we show Mommy what happens to people who do things I don’t like?”
Nolan nodded and laughed maniacally, then held up his hands and lunged his whole body at Erin. “Tickle attack.”
Before Erin could comprehend what was coming, both Nolan and Blair were tickling her. Blair definitely knew one of her weaknesses now. Erin was insanely ticklish and tried her best to escape while she laughed uncontrollably at their attack.
“Please. Stop. Can’t breathe,” she said while she swatted at them.
She was finally able to grab one of Blair’s hands and held it away from herself to stop her tickles. Unfortunately, the ticklish feeling was quickly replaced with tingles that darted through her whole body in response to this one touch. Erin wasn’t sure which was worse. Or was it better?
Better in the worst way?
She let go of Blair’s hand and jumped out of the bed before Blair could get to her again. “Who wants to go to the beach today?” she asked, while raising her own hand.
Nolan jumped off of the bed and waved his hand in the air as well. “Me! Me! Me!”
After getting changed and fighting with Nolan to eat breakfast, they finally made their way down to the beach. As soon as Nolan’s feet hit the sand, he began to run toward the water. Erin had no idea how she was supposed to catch him with her hands full, but before she could start running after him, Blair dropped the few things she was holding and ran after him. It only took a few seconds for Blair to catch him and scoop him up in her arms.
Erin watched as Blair put him back down onto the sand and held his hand. The two of them slowly walked toward the ocean and stopped right on the edge of where the dry sand turned to wet sand. Blair pointed toward the ocean and spoke to Nolan who appeared to be hanging on to every word she said. Erin wanted to join them, but she was too distracted watching their interaction to get her feet to move. Aside from her family, which didn’t really count, Erin had never seen Nolan take to someone as quickly as he had with Blair. It really was like he had known her forever. That fact kind of made her want to throw caution to the wind, but it also made her want to bury Nolan in the sand to make sure he didn’t get hurt. Not that she actually believed Blair would ever hurt him. At least, not intentionally. But she worried Blair was oblivious to how special she was.
A big wave crashed in the ocean, causing water to reach where Blair and Nolan were standing. As soon as it touched his feet, Nolan jumped in the air and ran back toward Erin.
When he reached her, there were tears running down his cheeks. He pointed out toward the ocean. “I don’t like that water. It’s scary.”
Erin bent down and wrapped Nolan in a hug. Even when he was being dramatic, she still hated to see him cry. “Aw, buddy, there’s nothing to be scared of. I promise. Mommy would never let anything hurt you.”
“Yeah, neither would I, buddy.”
Erin looked up to find Blair crouched down behind Nolan rubbing circles across his back. “I’m really sorry,” she said when her eyes met Erin’s. “I wouldn’t have taken him so close if I knew it would scare him so badly.”
“It’s seriously no big deal. I would’ve done the exact same thing.” Erin pulled away from Nolan but kept her eyes on his. “What do you say we stay back here away from the water? We can play in the sand and make sandcastles.”
Nolan took a few deep breaths and nodded slowly. “Okay.”
They found an empty spot and put down their towels. Blair volunteered to walk back down to the ocean to put water in a bucket so they could have wet sand to build with. Once she was back, the three of them got to work and Nolan quickly forgot about his fight with the ocean waves. They had only been at the beach for a few hours when Erin noticed Nolan could barely keep his eyes open.
“Are you tired, buddy?” Erin asked him.
Nolan shook his head, but he wiped a sandy hand over his eyes, which made him have a complete meltdown because his eyes hurt. While Erin helped Nolan wipe the sand off of his face and out of his eyes, Blair gathered their towels and beach toys back into bags without even being asked.
When Nolan let them know he couldn’t possibly walk all the way back to the hotel, Blair offered to carry him, which made Erin have to fight to hold back tears because she was so thankful. She wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without Blair, and she wished she knew how to properly thank her. They weren’t even halfway back to the hotel before Nolan passed out in Blair’s arms. He was so tired he didn’t even wake up when she laid him down on the bed. Erin pointed out the door toward the other room of their suite and she and Blair tiptoed out, shutting the door behind them as quietly as possible.
Erin squeezed her eyes shut as she waited for the inevitable “Mommy,” but it never came. She took a deep breath and blew it out then threw herself onto the small couch that took up a big portion of the extra room of their suite.
Blair flopped down beside her and laid her head against the back of the couch. “No wonder my parents were always tired when I was growing up. I don’t know how you do this by yourself most days.”
Erin sighed. She had gotten so used to having Blair around so much of the time she almost forgot she was doing this alone. “It’s not easy, but I also don’t have a choice.”
Blair turned her head and stared at Erin for a long time before she said anything. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re fucking amazing. Nolan’s the luckiest little boy in the entire world to have you as his mom.”
With just a few words, the urge to kiss Blair was back. Except, it wasn’t even an urge anymore. It was more of a need. Like if she didn’t kiss her soon, she might run out of oxygen. But she couldn’t. One taste of those lips was not worth the years of heartache that getting attached to someone can leave you with, especially when there is a risk of that heartache affecting and hurting this innocent little boy.
Erin reached out and grabbed Blair’s hand, because she had to touch her in some way. Blair had become her safety net, and that touch reminded her Blair was still there. She squeezed Blair’s hand as she intertwined their fingers, “Thank you for saying that. You don’t know how many times I question whether or not I’m doing a good enough job with him.”
Blair stared at their interlocked hands before moving her gaze onto Erin’s face again. “The fact that you could even question yourself is crazy to me. Anyone with eyes can see what a good mom you are. Hell, you probably don’t even need eyes to see that. You literally radiate love. It’s…” Blair took a long, deep breath and blew it out. “It’s beautiful.”
Being called beautiful by Blair was like being called a guiding light by the North Star. Because
Blair
was the most beautiful woman in the world. And it wasn’t just skin deep. Everything about Blair was beautiful.
Even though she knew she should hold in these thoughts, Erin couldn’t. She had to let Blair know. “
You’re
beautiful
.”
A small smile parted Blair’s lips as she continued to stare into Erin’s eyes. “Do you know how hard you make it
not
to kiss you?”
Blair slowly moved closer to her, and Erin’s breath caught in her throat, because she was pretty sure this was it. Blair was going to kiss her, and Erin had no power to stop her. Instead of bringing their lips together, though, Blair brought her face to Erin’s neck and took a deep breath, breathing Erin in. Even though she hadn’t touched her, there was something so sensual about it. Her hands might as well have been all over Erin, because that’s what it felt like. She placed the lightest kiss right on Erin’s pulse point and it sent a bolt of electricity into her body and straight to her core. Erin
needed
Blair. God, did she need her.
Blair must have realized this, because she continued to place kisses across Erin’s neck, each time getting closer and closer to her lips. If Erin moved her face the slightest bit, their lips could finally touch, but she couldn’t move. She was frozen in place by all the magnificent feelings pulsing through her body, stemming from just a few light kisses. Blair continued her kisses across Erin’s jaw until she finally placed one on her chin, barely a quiver away from her lips.
When Blair pulled away slightly, Erin was sure it was because the kiss she needed more than air was finally coming. Instead, Blair stared at her for a long time, both of their chests heaving, and then she whispered, “I’m so sorry,” before moving to rest her head on Erin’s shoulder.
Erin wanted to tell her she had nothing to be sorry for. She wanted to beg her to please finish what she had started. But she couldn’t find the words. She couldn’t find her voice at all.
When more time passed without Erin saying anything, Blair spoke again. “Is this okay? Can we stay like this for just a little while?”
Erin was able to find her voice to push out a barely audible, “Yes,” as she rested her head against Blair’s as well.