Page 20 of Falling Together

Chapter 20

Erin

“Have I mentioned how excited I am to see where you grew up?” Blair asked, as she bounced up and down in the passenger’s seat.

Erin couldn’t help but laugh at her. She looked so much like a child, fidgeting around like she was way too excited to sit still. “Only about a million times.”

“Well, good, because it’s true. I can’t wait.”

“Don’t get too excited. You have to sit through three long softball games first.”

Blair shrugged. “That’s okay. I’m excited for that too.”

Erin had to admit, the older her niece got, the more interesting her softball games were, but that still didn’t mean she was overly hyped about spending the day watching inning after inning of the same thing. Especially when most of the day was going to be spent chasing a restless Nolan around. “We’ll see how you feel once Nolan is crawling all over you asking when we can leave and it’s only one inning into the first game.”

“I don’t do that!” Nolan shouted from the back seat.

Erin had no doubt that was exactly what would happen, but she didn’t want to argue with Nolan right now. This weekend was already going to be crazy enough since Erin invited the woman she had sex with and then told it couldn’t be more than a one-time thing. As much as she had meant what she said to Blair about not being ready, she also didn’t want to stop spending time with her. It was the complete opposite, actually. She wanted nothing more than to spend

all

of her time with Blair and frankly, that feeling scared the shit out of her.

With all of these thoughts keeping Erin’s mind occupied, the drive from the beach to the softball field went by in no time. As soon as she stepped out of her car, she heard her sister’s voice.

“There they are,” April said as she walked over to the car to greet them. “How are you guys? How was the beach? I’m so jealous we couldn’t go.”

“It was wonderful,” Erin said, pulling her sister in for a tight hug once she was close enough.

“When we can sneak away later, I want to hear all about what made it so wonderful,” her sister whispered, as if she could already tell Erin’s good mood was not only from the sun and sand.

Erin hoped April was mature enough

not

to act strange in front of Blair. She would find out shortly because April had already pulled away from her and was heading to the other side of the car.

“It’s great to see you again,” April said as she pulled Blair into her arms like they were old friends.

“It’s great to see you too,” Blair said cheerfully. “I’m excited for some softball today.”

April laughed. “That makes one of us. I’ve already watched enough softball games to be set for a lifetime, but it looks like we’re just getting started with Sydney.” She walked past Blair and opened the back door of Erin’s car. “There’s my favorite nephew in the whole wide world. How was the beach, buddy?”

“It was so much fun,” Nolan said as April unhooked him from his car seat and he hopped out. “We went on the sand and in the pool and played in an arcade. I don’t like the ocean. It’s scary. But I loved everything else. And Da-men and Mar-sol took me on all the rides while Mommy and Bear had special time.”

Erin squeezed her eyes shut.

Shit.

Nolan really had no idea how right he was about their special time, but April was going to have a field day with this. When she walked around the front of the car holding Nolan’s hand, she looked at Erin with a raised eyebrow. “Special time?”

As Erin had a brief internal panic attack over how to respond, Blair spoke up. “I thought Erin could use some time with an adult, and since I was the closest thing to one, I decided to surprise her by having my friend Marisol and her boyfriend, Damien, come down the shore to watch Nolan for a few hours.”

“Aw, isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?” April asked before mouthing the words

I really like her

at Erin.

Erin simply smiled back at her sister because she wasn’t going to have this conversation right in front of Blair. It turned out she couldn’t avoid the conversation forever, and as soon as Sydney’s first game ended, April asked if she could walk to the car with her to get an extra water bottle for Sydney.

“So, tell me more about this

special time,

” April said, once they were far enough away that Blair couldn’t possibly hear them.

Thank god.

Erin shrugged. “It was nice. We hung out and… relaxed.” She could feel her face warming from the thought of what they had actually done. God, Erin wished she could get out of her own head so she could allow that to happen again.

“So, are you going to tell me the truth about what happened or am I going to have to keep making assumptions?” April looked at Erin and wiggled her eyebrows. “My assumptions are pretty damn fun, so I’m fine making them.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be my older, more mature sister?” Erin asked, trying to skirt around April’s question.

“Older, yes. I never claimed to be more mature.”

“Hmm. I thought the eight extra years you had on me would make that happen naturally.”

“I have a teenager now. She’s caused me to revert back to her level of maturity.” April shrugged. “Now, stop avoiding my questions and tell me what the hell happened. You know I’m going to get it out of you eventually, so you might as well just tell me now.”

Erin knew that was true. April had a way of

always

getting her to open up. It must have been included in the big sister handbook or something. “Fine. We had sex. You happy?”

April smiled in satisfaction. “Very. How was it?”

Erin groaned. Was April really going to make her go into excruciating detail about what happened? “It was seriously perfect.” Erin couldn’t help but get an extra skip to her step just from the thought of how gentle and caring Blair had been with her. In all the years she and Bianca were together, she had never felt that cared for. “Blair is… god, she’s seriously indescribable. But,” Erin felt like she was crashing back down to earth as she thought about the conversation that followed the most amazing sex of her life. “that’s exactly why it can’t happen again.”

“Okay. I’m confused. You look like you’re floating up into the clouds just from thinking about it, yet you’re saying it’s not going to happen again? Why not? Shit, Blair isn’t a fuck boy, is she? Did she have sex with you then blow it off as if it was nothing? Because, if that’s the case, I need to stop being so nice to her.”

Okay. Erin needed to just tell her sister the whole story, because this was getting out of control. “No, no. It’s not like that at all. Blair is perfect. She wasn’t trying to just have sex with me. If it was up to her, we would be dating.”

April stared at her, wide-eyed. “So, you’re the fuck boy?”

“No!” Erin practically shouted, gaining the attention of a few other people in the parking lot. “I’m just… I’m not ready to date yet. It’s barely over a year since Bianca left. I can’t do it.”

“Exactly,” her sister said as if she hadn’t listened to a word Erin just said. “Bianca left over a year ago after barely being present from the time Nolan was born. If you’re not ready now, when a young, sexy, cool woman is interested in you, when are you going to be ready?”

“That’s just the thing. I don’t think I ever will be.”

April stopped to lean against the side of her car and sighed. “Well, you better figure that out because a girl like Blair isn’t going to wait around forever.”

“You’re right. And she shouldn’t. I’m not worth it.”

“You’re more than worth it, but until you realize that, nothing is ever going to work.”

Erin knew her sister was right, but she also didn’t know what to do about it. She couldn’t silence the voices in her head telling her no one would ever stay. “I know. I just… I think I’m broken.”

“You know the best part about things that are broken?” When Erin shook her head, her sister poked her in the chest. “They can be fixed.”

April grabbed the water bottle out of her car and a comfortable silence settled between the two of them as they walked back toward the softball field.

Thank god.

Erin wasn’t in the mood for any more lectures, even if they were completely warranted.

As they got closer to the bleachers, Erin spotted Blair at the exact moment Blair noticed her. Blair’s face lit up as she held two plastic bags in the air. “Guess what I got?”

Seeing as how they were at a softball tournament and not the mall, Erin had literally no idea. “A bunch of hot dogs?”

“Nope.” Blair pulled three T-shirts out of one of the bags, one by one. “Tournament T-shirts. They have all the players’ names listed on the back! How cool is that? Also,” she pulled a hat out of the other bag and put it on her head, then pointed to it proudly. “I got hats for you and I that Sydney’s team was selling.”

“Wow. That’s awesome,” Erin said, trying to muster up as much excitement as possible. She could see Blair was clearly very proud of herself. The shirts and hats might not have been anything special, but Blair being this excited over them was fucking adorable.

“I know, right?” Blair picked up Nolan and rested his body against her hip. “I’m going to take Nolan to the bathroom so we can change into these. Feel free to join us if you want to put yours on too.” Blair pretty much skipped away before Erin could answer.

“Okay, that’s it,” April whispered in her ear as they both watched Blair go. “If you don’t date that girl, I might.”

***

After a day full of softball and Nolan asking when they were leaving, they were finally back in the car. “So, anything I need to know about your hometown before we get there?” Blair asked, sounding just as excited as she had been hours before.

Does this girl ever get tired?

Erin shook her head. “Not really. It’s exactly what you’d expect from a small town in the middle of Pennsylvania. Not much to it.”

“Awesome. Can’t wait,” Blair said, bouncing in her seat as if she was going to Disney World for the first time.

Erin couldn’t help but laugh at her. “Why are you

so

excited? I just told you there was nothing to it.”

Blair shrugged. “It’s where you grew up. Part of what made you

you.

I think that’s really cool and can’t wait to learn more about this part of your life.”

Every time Erin thought Blair couldn’t possibly get any sweeter, she proved her wrong. She wasn’t sure what to say, so she reached over and squeezed Blair’s hand. Just one touch of Blair’s fingers against hers made her want to hold Blair’s hand for the rest of their drive, but she also didn’t want to give her the wrong idea, so she forced herself to let go.

As soon as they arrived at the small, single-family home where Erin grew up, which wasn’t much bigger than the townhouse she shared with Nolan, she saw Nolan in the rearview mirror throwing his hands in the air. “Yay! Grandma’s house! I love grandma’s house!”

“So, there are two guest rooms,” Erin explained to Blair. “One has a twin-size bed and the other has a queen.”

She was about to say that she and Nolan could squeeze into the twin-size bed when Blair raised her hand. “I’ll take the twin.”

“Are you sure?” Erin asked. She knew it wasn’t the most comfortable bed. It was

hers

growing up, after all.

“Of course. I’m used to small beds from college.” She pointed a thumb back at Nolan. “Plus, I just shared a bed with that kid for the past week. I know how much space he takes up. I’m not making you squeeze into a small-ass bed with him.”

Erin laughed. “I really appreciate that.”

“Let’s go see grandma!” Nolan shouted from the backseat, clearly losing his patience.

Blair turned around and put her hand up for a high five. “Let’s do it.”

She jumped out of the car before Erin had a chance to unbuckle, and immediately opened Nolan’s door and helped him out of his car seat. By the time Erin got out of the car, Nolan and Blair were already walking toward the house hand in hand. She stood by the car and took a moment to appreciate the scene in front of her. Seeing Nolan and Blair together made Erin’s heart dance. It almost made her forget why she couldn’t just jump into things with Blair. Somehow, it simultaneously reminded her why she couldn’t. Nolan was so attached to Blair. If Erin did something to make her walk away, she could never forgive herself for how much that would hurt Nolan.

God, my emotions are all over the place.

The front door opened, and Erin’s mom walked out with her arms outstretched. “There’s my favorite little boy.”

“Grandma!” Nolan dropped Blair’s hand and ran into his grandma’s arms.

Since Nolan was no longer having a moment with Blair, Erin could use her brain again and remembered their bags were still in the car. She opened the back door and grabbed her bag and Blair’s backpack before walking to the house.

“How was the beach?” her mom asked as she wrapped her in a tight hug.

The beach.

Erin’s mind immediately went to Blair snuggling close to her, both of them completely naked. Then she remembered the way Blair took care of her while they had sex, not missing one inch of skin on Erin’s body. Erin heated up at the thought, all of the feelings running through her body going straight to her core.

Great.

“Great.” She cleared her throat. “It was a great trip.”

“That’s awesome. Blair and Nolan were just telling me how much fun you had.”

“We did!” Nolan bounced up and down for a few seconds, but when he stopped, a big yawn escaped from his mouth. He looked up at Erin with big, blinking eyes. “I’m really tired, Mommy.”

Erin put her hand on top of Nolan’s head. “I’m sure, buddy. It’s been a really long week. How ’bout we go to bed?”

Nolan shook his head back and forth. “No. I want to play with Grandma.”

Erin’s mom put her hand up to her mouth and let out an exaggerated yawn Erin had no doubt was fake. “You know what? I’m really tired too, so what do you say we get a good night’s sleep, then tomorrow we’ll get breakfast and play before we go to Sydney’s softball games?”

Nolan’s face lit up. “Can I ride with you to the softball games?”

“As long as it’s okay with your mommy, I don’t see why that would be a problem.” Erin’s mom looked up at her as if silently asking for her permission.

“That’s fine with me.”

It’s one hour alone with Blair where I have to find a way to control myself, but I’m a grown adult. I can do it. Plus, I’ll be driving. Even if I’m tempted to do something reckless, it won’t be possible.

“Grandma, you read me story and tuck me in bed?” Nolan asked, distracting Erin from her internal pep talk.

When Erin’s mom nodded, Erin pushed Nolan toward the door. “Let’s go.”

Instead of moving, Nolan put his hands on his hips and glared up at her. “Not you, Mommy. Grandma is tucking me in.”

Erin laughed. She loved how this kid’s whole world revolved around her one minute and the next, she was chopped liver. “She can tuck both of us in since we’re sharing a bed.”

Nolan shook his head back and forth vehemently. “No, we’re not. I have my own room at Grandma’s house. You sleep in your room.”

Damnit. Why did Erin have to work so hard to convince Nolan the room with the twin-sized bed was all his the last time they were here? That plan had definitely backfired. “Well, Blair is with us this time, sweetheart, which means she needs to use your room.”

“No!” Nolan screamed. “It’s my room. Not Bear’s. Bear can sleep with you.”

Nolan’s choice of words caused Erin to choke on her own saliva. “I don’t think Blair wants to do that.”

Okay. Maybe she does. The problem is, so do I.

Erin knew this was a losing battle, so she looked at Blair and shrugged. “I’m sorry. Technically, that

is

his room while we’re here, so I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

“Nonsense.” Blair looked way too happy about the direction this conversation had taken. “It’s a queen-size bed, right? We’re two small women. I’m sure we can sleep in it without… incidence.”

Blair’s choice of words didn’t go unnoticed by Erin, but if Blair truly thought they could control themselves while sleeping feet apart, who was Erin to argue with her? “Only if you’re sure,” she said hesitantly.

“I’m

very

sure.” Blair’s confidence didn’t do anything to make Erin feel better considering Erin found her confidence to be such a turn-on.

A little while later, after Nolan fell asleep and Erin and Blair got themselves ready, they crawled into bed together.

“Bet you didn’t think I’d end up in your bed again so soon, huh?” Blair asked with a laugh.

Erin rolled her eyes. This woman was incorrigible. The problem was she was also extremely hot and much too close to Erin right now. It was almost impossible to keep her hands to herself. “I can’t believe you only have three more weeks of babysitting left,” she said, desperate to talk about anything that would keep her mind off of how much she wanted to touch Blair right now. “Have you thought about what you want to do?”

Much to Erin’s surprise, Blair nodded in response. “I already have a job lined up once I’m done watching Nolan.”

“Seriously?” Erin really thought Blair would have mentioned that to her and felt a little bit hurt she hadn’t. “I didn’t even know you had any interviews.”

Blair scooted a little bit closer to Erin, then reached out and grabbed her hand. “Yeah, sorry. I was worried I wouldn’t get the job, and then I’d have to admit that I’m a complete fuck up. They offered me the position right before we went to the beach, and then, well, everything happened, so I wasn’t sure if I should say anything.”

Now Erin was really confused. Why would the two of them having sex make Blair think she couldn’t tell Erin about her job? “I don’t get it. You didn’t think you should say anything because we had sex?”

Blair squeezed Erin’s hand as if she realized she needed the reassurance she didn’t have anything to worry about. “I got a job at a daycare. Not Nolan’s. As much as I would love that, I don’t think I’d be able to treat him the same as every other kid, so I figured working there wasn’t the best idea.” Blair shook her head and turned her body more fully toward Erin. “Anyway, I didn’t want to tell you about the daycare job because I didn’t want you to think I only applied for it to prove something to you. It’s not like that at all. Watching Nolan this summer showed me how much I enjoy children. Then, I saw an ad for a daycare that was hiring. It’s within walking distance from my parents’ house, so it almost seemed like fate or something.”

“Wow. That’s…” Erin lost all of her words as her gaze drifted from Blair’s eyes, which had a look so sincere it made her lose her breath, down to her lips. Lips that somehow looked even more inviting after Blair’s confession. This woman became more and more perfect every single day, and Erin could hardly stand it. Erin laughed and shook her head at herself. “God. Why is you telling me you got a job at a daycare such a turn-on? It’s taking all of my self-control not to kiss you right now.”

“I wouldn’t stop you.” Blair smirked and wiggled her eyebrows, and the move was so sexy it definitely did not make the urge to kiss her any less.

“I just… I can’t.” In three weeks, Blair would be done watching Nolan and they would no longer see each other every day. Blair would get busy with her own life, and it probably would not take her long to get over the crush she had on Erin. If Erin stayed strong now, it wouldn’t hurt as badly when that inevitably happened. At least, she hoped it wouldn’t. She couldn’t go through another heartbreak.

“I figured.” Blair’s smile dropped as her eyes also dropped down toward the bed. When she looked back up, her smile came back, but it didn’t reach her eyes this time. “You know, there is

something

I wish we could’ve done that night at the beach that we didn’t.” Erin swallowed hard as her mind raced with all of the things Blair could be talking about, and Blair must have noticed because she chuckled in response. “Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s nothing sexual. I was going to say that I wished I could’ve fallen asleep with you in my arms.”

Be still my heart.

Blair’s words were too perfect, and the little smile on her face was way too cute. Even if Erin should say no, even if it was the smartest way to protect her heart, she couldn’t do it. “I guess it couldn’t hurt, right?”

Blair’s smile grew. “I mean, I’ve never heard any reports of nighttime snuggles killing anyone, so I think we’re safe.” She held out her arm, and Erin easily fell into her as if that spot was made just for her.