Page 1 of Falling Together

Chapter 1

Erin

Erin Corcoran sighed as she stared at the email once again with the price increase for the summer program at her son’s daycare. As if it wasn’t already expensive enough, they now expected her to pay an extra hundred dollars a week. And for what? A few days of

water play

? What was

water play

anyway? Were they really expecting her to pay extra just because they were going to spray her son with a hose a few days a week?

When she sighed again, a small, but heavy, body plopped onto her lap. “Mommy, you okay?” her three-and-a-half-year-old son, Nolan, asked as he looked up at her with those big round, brown eyes that resembled her ex-wife’s a little too much.

She ran her hands through his dark brown hair, which was already getting a little lighter even though it was only the beginning of May. “I’m good, buddy.”

She tickled his sides to distract him from worrying about her. Even though he was young, he was still very intuitive, and she hated the thought of worrying him with her adult problems. He was too young and naive to realize the extent of her inner turmoil and she wanted to keep it that way.

He leaned his head back as he laughed. “Mommy, stop. I’m going to fell’ed off,” he said between giggles.

She stopped tickling him, gripped him tightly, and pulled him back up onto her lap. As soon as he had stopped giggling, he grabbed her face and licked her cheek. “I’m a cat now. Meow. Meow.”

Erin laughed in spite of the knot in her stomach. This little kitty cat might have way too much energy and oftentimes had her so tired that she wondered how she would get through another day, but she adored him more than anything in the world. Her life hadn’t been easy this past year, but she would let her heart get broken a million more times, because the person who had done the heart breaking had also given her the greatest gift in the world—the little boy sitting on her lap.

Even though it had been over a year since things ended, it still felt like a stab to Erin’s heart every time she thought about her ex, Bianca. She

should

be over her by now, but how could she move on after everything they’d been through? It was almost what should have been their five-year wedding anniversary. In just a few months, it would be the ten-year anniversary of when they started dating. At least, it would have been, if Bianca hadn’t left Erin as if she were nothing.

The worst part was that Erin never saw it coming. From the time they met at a beach bar just a few weeks after graduating from college, they had been inseparable. When Bianca asked Erin to be her girlfriend two months later, Erin already had no doubt that she was the one. If she really studied their relationship (which she had about a million times), things started going downhill after Nolan was born. They both wanted kids, at least that was the impression Erin had. Sure, Bianca was never quite as excited about the prospect of having children as Erin had been. Thinking about their future family didn’t keep her up at night, but she seemed happy to contribute her eggs as long as Erin was the one to carry the baby (something she had always looked forward to anyway).

The first year felt like a fairytale to Erin and it really seemed like they were the perfect family, but looking back, she was living in a dream world. She was seeing what she wanted to see, not what was actually going on around her. Throughout that first year, Bianca became more and more distant. She chose friends over her family, and by the time Nolan was two, she sometimes disappeared for a week at a time. Erin let her have her space, because she figured that was what she needed. She would give Bianca time, and eventually she’d come back to Erin. She’d come back to

them

. It’s not like they fought. But looking back, that was only because Bianca didn’t care enough to fight.

Exactly three months to the day after Nolan turned two, Bianca told Erin she was leaving.

When will you be back?

Erin had asked naively.

That was when Bianca said the words that finally broke her. “I’m not coming back. This

isn’t

the life I wanted. I can’t do it anymore.”

Erin wanted to ask why Bianca had never told her that before. She wanted to beg Bianca to stay and tell her they’d find a way to make it work. But she didn’t, because what was the point of fighting for someone who wasn’t going to fight for you in return?

The first few months after Bianca left, it killed Erin when Nolan would ask, “Where Mama?”

Luckily, before long, his two-year-old brain forgot about her. Sometimes Erin wished she had the forgetfulness of a toddler so she didn’t have to think about Bianca either.

Her mind was brought back to the present moment by the feeling of teeth digging into her arm. She yanked it away from Nolan and glared at him to show that she didn’t appreciate his way of getting her attention.

“Kitty hungry,” Nolan said, grinning at her as if he was an angel, a look cute enough that it almost made her forget he had just bitten her.

“Well, kitty knows better than to bite someone.” Erin stood from her chair at the kitchen table and set Nolan back on the floor. “Get your shoes. It’s time to go to school.”

“Nooooo. I don’t want to go,” Nolan whined.

Erin rolled her eyes. It was the same fight every morning, yet every night when she picked him up, he told her he wasn’t ready to leave.

Go figure.

“You love school.”

“I love home more.” The way Nolan stuck out his bottom lip almost made Erin want to call in sick to work and stay home with him.

Almost.

As much as Erin loved him, work was her chance to actually breathe for a few hours five days a week. “I know, baby, but Mommy has to work so I can buy you more toys.”

Nolan shot her a devilish grin before running off to grab his shoes. When he got back to her, he dropped the shoes on the ground and pointed to the left one. “This goes on this foot?” He pointed to his right foot.

“Almost.” Erin moved the shoes so they were sitting in front of the correct feet and Nolan dropped to the floor. She watched as he fought to get them on. “Can I help you?”

“No. I do it.”

Erin sighed as she looked at the clock. If he kept up this pace, she would be late for work

again.

Her boss had been very understanding since the divorce, but Erin knew that leniency wouldn’t last forever. “I’ll make you a deal. You let me put your shoes on just this once and I’ll take you for ice cream after school.”

Nolan dropped the shoe he was fighting with as if it had just burned him. “Okay.”

Luckily, with the promise of ice cream, Nolan cooperated as she put his shoes on. He even walked to the car instead of insisting she carry him, which Erin was thankful for since he was getting way too heavy for her.

After a short drive, they arrived at daycare, and Nolan ran in as if he hadn’t just been saying how much he didn’t want to go. Erin was almost out of the building when the director of the daycare called her name.

She turned around and tried her best to hide the annoyance from her face, something she had never been very good at. “What’s up?”

“The deadline for summer registration is coming up, so I just wanted to see if Nolan will be joining us this summer.”

Erin cringed. She really didn’t want to talk about this right now, especially since she had no idea what to say.

Sorry, I’m a single mom who refuses to ask my ex for child support since I can’t stand the thought of depending on her for anything, so I’m not sure how I’m supposed to afford the extra cost.

No, definitely

not

that. Erin had to think fast. “I actually had a question about that. My company allows me to work from home on Fridays, so I thought it would be nice to have that extra day with Nolan.”

Nice or my only option?

“How much would it cost to do four days instead of five?”

The director gave her a smile that Erin knew all too well. It was that pitying smile she had been getting from people ever since Bianca left. She knew

exactly

what Erin wasn’t saying. “Unfortunately, we don’t offer four days. We can either do two, three, or five.” The director’s face lit up. “But if you want to go down to three days, the price will stay the same as what you’re currently paying.”

Erin gritted her teeth. She didn’t need people making assumptions about her financial situation, even if those assumptions were true. It’s not like she didn’t have a well-paying job. The problem was that daycares were impossible to afford on just a single salary. “You know what? I think I’m going to hire a babysitter for the summer. He’ll like that. It will give him a chance to get out and enjoy himself more.” Erin knew that was an unfair jab. This really was a great daycare. She was just sick of feeling like she wasn’t doing enough for her son. “I would like to register him for the fall though.” Erin smiled widely so the director didn’t think she was a complete bitch.

The director smiled back at her. “We will certainly look forward to having him back. He’s a great kid.” She looked at her computer, but quickly looked back at Erin. “Oh, don’t forget that this session ends in three weeks. That’s when our summer program officially begins.”

“Three weeks. Of course.”

Shit.

***

Shit,

Erin thought to herself for what had to be the millionth time that day. She stared at the local babysitting Facebook group she had pulled up on her computer while she ate lunch at her desk. Normally, she would go for a walk during her lunch break, but this was more important. She needed to find an affordable babysitter who could start in three weeks.

No pressure.

She thought for a moment before she started to type.

Looking for a babysitter to watch my 3.5 year-old son Monday-Thursday for the duration of the summer. We are a five minute walk from the community pool and have a membership you can use with him if interested.

Erin paused because she wasn’t sure what else to say.

Any age or experience is welcome.

She read it over once more. The last part might sound a bit desperate, but she was, so what did she care? She went ahead and posted it to keep herself from overthinking it more.

Much to her surprise, it only took a few minutes for a message to come through from a potential babysitter.

Hi! My name is Jan. I’m a retired teacher, mother of four, and grandmother of eleven. I would love to watch your little guy. I could watch him at your house or mine and am happy to take him to the pool anytime he wants. What hours are you looking for?

Erin smiled in spite of her gut reaction that this was too good to be true.

I normally leave the house around 8:30 and am home by 6:00. Would that work for you?

Less than a minute later, a reply came through.

That sounds perfect. What other questions do you have for me?

Erin knew she

should

have questions. This was the person who would be spending four days a week with her son, after all, but she had no idea what to ask. Well, except for the one not-so-minor detail.

What is your rate?

When the reply came through, Erin blinked her eyes at the screen, because she was sure she was reading it wrong.

$25/hour.

Erin quickly did the math, and it came out exactly as she expected. That was almost double what she would pay to keep him in daycare.

That’s outside of my budget, but thank you for reaching out.

Erin waited for a reply, like possibly a counter offer that was at least ten dollars less. Instead, a message came through from someone else. She opened this one, hoping for better news.

Hi! I just finished my first year of college and I’m looking for a summer job. I am an elementary education major and babysat my neighbor throughout high school. I am looking for $18/hour.

That was definitely better than $25, but it was still more than she would pay for daycare. She opened up the calculator on her computer to figure out just how much she could pay someone to make sure she wasn’t paying more than she currently paid for daycare.

Ten dollars

. When she thought back on the babysitting she did in middle school and the crisp twenty dollar bill her neighbors would give her after spending a whole day watching their daughter, ten dollars per hour didn’t sound so crazy, but as she looked through the messages that continued to come through asking for anything from fifteen to thirty-plus dollars, she was pretty sure she was screwed.

I’ll just email the daycare,

she thought to herself.

I’m sure it’s not too late.

She typed out the email and was just about to hit send when another message popped up on her screen. She thought about ignoring it, but decided to read it just so she could have a good laugh at her own expense.

Hey! My name is Blair Breckenridge! I’d love to watch your little dude for the summer. I am a recent college grad with no clue what I want to do next, but I need to get my parents off of my back. I’m not going to lie, I have no experience with kids (unless you count my little brother, which you probably don’t since he’s eighteen), but I’m a quick learner. I really don’t know how much people normally get paid for this kind of thing, but does fifty dollars a day sound okay? If that’s too much, I can negotiate. Honestly, I’ll take anything to get my parents to lay the hell off of me. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you. I’ll put my number below. Feel free to text me. I’m barely ever on Facebook because, let’s be honest, it sucks.

Everything inside of Erin was telling her it would be a terrible idea to hire Blair as a babysitter. She clearly had no idea what she was doing and didn’t even know how to construct a somewhat professional pitch, but fifty dollars a day was hard to turn down. She could have Blair work five days instead of four and it would cost her less than what she was paying for daycare right now. That would be almost two hundred dollars less than what they wanted her to pay per week over the summer. And really… What's the worst that could happen? A knot formed in Erin’s stomach as all the worst-case scenarios played through her mind. Okay, so this could end very badly.

“This is a terrible idea,” Erin whispered under her breath as she typed out a reply.