Page 8 of Falling for A Lie
I’m done being a soldier. I’m done being a fuck toy to this sadistic piece of shit. I’m done lying to the only person I love.I’m willing to open up completely and beg her to stay because I feel like I’m already gone without her.
“We’ll see, pretty boy. I hope you grovel better than you hit because I’ll be the only thing you have left by the end of the night. Mark my words.” He laughs hysterically as he makes his way into the woods, leaving me to stew in the turmoil of all my fucked up decisions that led me to be stuck in this fucked up position.
Every word exchanged between us seemed to tighten the knot in my stomach, twisting and churning with a mix of anger and confusion. I could feel the tightness in my chest, as if an invisible hand was squeezing my heart, making it difficult to breathe. My limbs felt heavy, like lead, and the weight of my emotions pulled me down, making me feel like I was sinking into the dirt at my feet.
I face the choice of losing either the love of my life or my life. Though I knew our ending wouldn’t be happy, I could pretend otherwise tonight. I’ll enjoy my girl tonight, and we will hopefully start our future together.
Chapter seven
Soren Flint
4 Years after High School Age 22
My foot helplessly taps on the gravel beneath my boots as I suck in a deep breath. The cold air and smoke sting my lungs as the fire Jace and Alec started when we first arrived an hour ago, blazes in front of me trying to chase the chill from the mid-October air.
My mind wanders to the heartbreaking news I received earlier, the email letting me know my application was denied for the spring semester at Brown University.
"Sor, did you hear what I said?"Jace's voice brings me back to reality.
My eyes slowly rise to meet his icy blue ones before tracing the look of concern etching across his pale face.
"No, I'm sorry, what was it, babe?" My voice comes out soft and sweet.
"I was telling Alec and Ben that you'll be coming to Brown with us next spring," Jace replies as he throws another log into the blazing fire, not as though it needed it with the fire being bigger than they had planned.
"Oh, yeah, about that, can we talk privately?" My thumbs twirl as I try to come up with how to break the news to my fiancé that I will not be attending next spring semester with him and our friends. My fate has other plans, and I just haven't got a clue what it is yet.
"Yeah," Jace looks at the guys nodding before stepping forward to take my hand. He pulls me up and smiles softly as we make our way back to where we parked our cars.
"What's up Sor?" His voice is a little rough, as our hands swing, matching our steps with every forward movement.
"I got some news earlier, and I've been trying to figure out the right way to bring the subject up. I didn't get into Brown. I got the letter this morning from Carla.” My voice breaks as thefeeling of failure creeps back up my spine, making goose bumps rise along its path. I look at my feet as our hands get a little looser.
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? Why wait to tell me now? It’s been ten and a half hours SOREN. TEN. How am I supposed to marry a girl who withholds bad news that affects our future together?” His voice kept on rising during the last sentence, making a distant creature scurry off to leave us alone.
I stop, snatching my hand away from him, the pain of being rejected by my top school mixed with his harsh words makes my chest beg to let my shameless tears fall.
“I... I didn't know how to tell you, because I've seen how excited you've been about this since we both submitted our applications. I've been trying to figure it out, Jace.” I hiccup through the silent sobs wrecking my entire soul. “I can put off college and we can still be together, or I can try for an online college to pursue my degree.” My voice is soft and low.
I don't want to go to school online, and neither do I want to put this off but I feel like a fish out of water begging to be returned so that I can breathe freely again. Putting college off will set back my future and the life I want for the girls and me.
I keep my head down as the thought brings an uneasy feeling to reside deep in my gut, this is the life I deserve. I should just be grateful for whatever scraps are thrown my way.That going to college online won't be so bad as long as I'm with Jace. The girls can look forward to having a sister who they can look up to. I shake my head from the nonsense I'm trying to sell myself.
I deserve more. I deserve to have a choice with my future for once, and not be told how to live it. Fiance or not this is my life.
I look up just in time for our eyes to connect and the look he is giving me now makes my heart break more. His eyes trace my face like he's trying to find a hidden message in my words.
“Do what you want, Soren. You've made it clear that my voice in the matter of our future isn't a top priority.” The vein in the corner of his neck throbbing as he takes a menacing step in my direction, his eyes making it impossible to move back as his voice takes on a sinister edge. The disappointment seeped into each word as they leave his lips accomplishing the very goal he set - making me feel like a bigger piece of shit than I already did.
Sometimes it's hard to picture what our life would be like if we did get married. Would he still let his anger and disappointment rule his emotions instead of trying to see reason? Would he always take to hitting the lowest of blows to make me feel like this?
I suck in a quiet breath, trying to steady myself, blinking away the tears I've fought so hard to hold in.
"Babe.. that's not what I was trying to do. I just wanted to figure this out so I didn't disappoint you. It’s not like we didn’t apply to two other colleges together, without Alec and Ben. What if one of them accepts us? Would you go? Would you leave Alec and Ben to go to Brown by themselves, to be with me?” Our eyes meet and he looks a bit taken aback by my sudden bluntness, like I physically struck him instead of holding my ground for once.
The sound of his silence holds my heart hostage while I wait with bated breath for his reply. To see if he'd be willing to alter his future, or if this falls strictly back on me.
"You know my father would disapprove, Soren. Hell, it's not like it's a worry for you because the only family you have to run it by are your sisters. Guess that's a perk of being an orphan." His voice is low, but his eyes are no longer on my face as his last words break a small part of my heart. The blatant disrespect is not even hidden.