Page 39 of Falling for A Lie
Would they even answer me, if I did call?
It's the same number I've had for years. They each have it. It's the only thing from my past life I couldn't let go of for purely sentimental reasons.
“ Fuck Soren get it together.”
Without another moment to second guess myself, I press the call button beside Drake's name and the ringing echoes through the quiet room, it rings for another second before The voice that sometimes plays a part in my dreams comes through the speaker. “Little terror is that you?”
Tears prickle the corner of my eyes as I suck in a shaky breath, trying to muster the courage to reply. “ Yes, it's me.”
There's an audible whoosh of air from a breath he must have been holding waiting for my reply. Part of me feels guilty for listening to Scarlett, for staying away from them. They saved me that night. They put themselves in danger, and I never got a chance to show them how grateful I was for that. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be here. My sister's wouldn't be here. I'd be rotting in an unmarked grave, nothing more but maggot food.
“Fuck, I've missed you. Are you okay? Where are you? ”
“I miss you and the others as well. I won't lie to you and say that I'm fine. I'm not. But I'm surviving Drake.. and that's all I can do right now. I can't tell you much right now. But just know that I'm not far. We'll see each other again soon. Promise.“ Pain wraps around my heart squeezing it like a vice.
“ Why'd you call, Little Terror? Why now? It's been months ” The breaking in his words causes a choked sob to escape my tightly pressed lips.
“You know why I didn't call... Scarlett wouldn't let me, she wouldn't be happy if she knew that I was calling now. But I just needed to call. I need to hear your voice myself and to make sure you guys are okay.”
Tears flood my cheeks as I hate being responsible for his pain. I never wanted to hurt them. They're the ones who set me up with leaving, staying protected, and putting the separation between us, and in the months that have passed, they never tried to reach me either...
The only one that has is Reed. Maybe I was stupid to think the others cared for me like he seemed to..
“Fuck that. I could've protected you. I could have been enough for you. “ His sobs finally break through the barrier he had set up to protect himself from showing how truly vulnerable he is.
“I wish you could've been. But it would've only brought danger to your doorsteps. It would've put a target on your back, your brothers, and your best friend. You could've ended up like Ben, and it would've been my fault. I had to leave, I had to harden myself and go through everything I have since to become someone worthy of you. Of the guys. Of my family. I had to become my destruction. I'm not the same girl I was before. I've done horrible fucking things to survive, I've lied,cheated, and given every bit of my soul away with each task. You know how the order is, you know the shit they can force you to do. I'm a monster now.. I'm broken. I'm fucked and I don't even know if I'll make it to the end of the year Drake. Jace won't give up, and it's all my fault.. Ben died because of me. Because he loved me. I'd never forgive myself if you died too. “
“ That's not your decision to make Soren, you don't get to sacrifice yourself and in the same breath tell me I can't do the same. Please.. I'm begging you Little Terror, let me help. Let me bring you home where you belong. We need you, we are falling apart since we let you go. Let me be enough for you now. “He pleads with me through the tears, making my heart hurt more
“What if being close to me only hurts you?”I counter trying to mask my own emotions
“ Being away from you hurts more.”He replies through a soft hiccupping breath
“ What if I get you or the others killed?” I ask quietly wanting him to understand my distance
“ I'll spend my last breath telling you what I should have had all of those years ago. You're worth risking it all for. ” He replies sternly
“ I'll think about it okay? I've got to go now.. but before I do, I want you to know that last night we shared. I wish it wasyou I gave myself over to.. “ I confess quietly, hoping he understands I mean that.
“We still have time, Little Terror.” He replies confidently making a small smile crack across my lips.
With that, the line goes dead and I'm left with an uneasy feeling at the decision I've already set into motion. I pray I'm not making a mistake.
“The girls called earlier to let me know that they will be home earlier than expected. I figured they could join us at the race tonight?” The smell of gas assaults my nose as I lean further into the car's engine.
Finn looks up at me with oil and grease smeared across his forehead, he nods softly. “ Yeah that would be great.“
“Does that not seem odd? If I was working against the largest organization in the country, wouldn't I not be sneakier about it?” Unease settles deep within my gut making me step back from the hood for much-needed fresh air.
“Not all crimes are committed by masterminds, Queenie. The girls said this one was anything but smart. ”He counters with a smug smile. I watch as he turns back to the task at hand, his muscles bunching as he moves with swift precision.
Shaking my head to clear my lust-induced stupor, I grumble out “Yeah, that's what has me worried. Why work with the deadliest of killers just to turn around and betray them? You know when you take the blood oath what you're signing yourself up for.“
Finn leans up and points to the fridge in the corner.“Queenie, go grab me a water babe? It's hot under this hood.” He uses the shop towel tucked into his pocket to wipe his face, leveling me with a look. “ Say, if this is one big setup? Who do you think would be working with this girl? Jace? Alec? “ He keeps his eyes on me as I hand the water to him, the bottle top falls from his fingertips to be forgotten as he takes his first sip.
“We know it's not Tom since the dumb bastard was murdered in front of his mistress while leaving that Italian restaurant in Ashford.” He chuckles to himself at that little fact, the heat from him getting caught with someone other than his wife caused more controversy than the dick getting murdered.
“Jace wouldn't be that stupid babe. There's a reason we haven't caught him yet, and it seems like he's always two steps ahead of us. “I let an irritated breath escape my lips before I lean back on the stool Finn has beside the car.