Page 30

Chapter Thirty

T he sun shone through the blossom on the branches, and through the windows into Philippa’s office.

She could have used the blinds, but today she felt like letting the sun in, even though it got in her eyes at certain angles.

She smiled out into the world. So this was what it was supposed to be like.

She wanted to open a window and shout at everyone who could hear that she finally understood what all the fuss was about.

It had only taken her forty-six years. But she had arrived. And she had grand plans to stay.

In the back of her mind, she knew that she and Alex hadn’t talked about what the future looked like.

There was a lot to talk about. Their lives were increasingly intwined.

This was evident when she opened her inbox to find an email with designs in from Fletcher Design Co.

She had to consider the best approach for Alex’s ex-wife as well.

And what about their children? How would any relationship – if they were in one – play out for them?

In truth though, today Philippa really didn’t care about any of that. That was a problem for Future Philippa. Present Philippa was too busy enjoying spicy flashbacks from the night before.

There was a knock at her door. She looked up to see Sienna beaming at her through the glass. “Morning, Philippa,” she said once she’d been ushered in. “You look like you’ve had good news.”

Philippa smiled in a way that she hoped denoted professionalism. “Mmm. Some good news. Do come in, how are you?”

Sienna practically bounced as she sat in one of the chairs opposite Philippa’s desk. “Have you seen Alex’s designs? They are amazing. So good. I think they’ll really add value to our bid.”

“Really,” said Philippa. “They’ve come in, have they?” She pretended her heart hadn’t skipped a beat when she’d seen the email a few moments earlier. “I’ll have a look. Hang on.”

She opened the attachments on the email and was confronted by a set of beautiful designs that had absolutely captured what Philippa and Sienna had described.

She could see why Sienna was so excited by them.

While the bid was all about the content of what her company could offer, providing a visual identity that wrapped around that offer could make all the difference.

“I see what you mean,” murmured Philippa, looking at the designs, before peering over her reading glasses at Sienna, who was clutching her hands together.

“I just wanted to say,” said Sienna, her voice shaking slightly, “thank you. Thank you for the opportunities you have given me.”

“Of course,” said Philippa, taking off her specs.

“I mean, you’ve championed me right from the start, especially in these last few weeks.

” Sienna bit her lip. “And to have such a fantastic female, and not to forget, queer role model is just incredible.” She smiled, her cheeks reddening.

“Sorry, I’m gushing. But I couldn’t not tell you given how far this work has come. ”

Philippa wasn’t sure what to say. This wasn’t what she had expected from her subordinate, and it didn’t help that she was a bit sleep deprived.

“Well, Sienna, thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to say so.” She closed down the files on her screen.

“But I haven’t given you any more support than anyone else in your position deserves.

” Philippa wasn’t sure if that was a moment of disappointment on Sienna’s face she saw, fleetingly.

“I’m glad you feel I’m a role model, but please don’t forget to forge your own path.

As you’re already doing. You are a credit to the firm, you really are. ”

“Thank you,” beamed Sienna. “I’ll make the final touches to the presentation, and I’ll see you later when we run through it.”

“Great, thank you,” said Philippa.

Sienna looked down and checked her iPad before looking up again. “You have a client waiting. Shall I let him in?”

“Sure,” said Philippa, ready to face whatever the rest of the day had to offer.

Philippa knew full well she was on autopilot for her appointments, her years of experience allowed her to whip through them, offering sensible advice and strategic proposals.

Chrissie was waiting for Philippa when she left work. “Come on,” said Chrissie, “let’s go for a walk. It’s a beautiful evening.”

“Let’s,” said Philippa, delighted to see her friend.

“You said you had news. I feel like this might be juicy news, based on our last conversation?” Chrissie nudged her friend’s arm with her elbow.

“At the risk of sounding like a teenager, yes, it is juicy. In fact, it feels very juicy right now,” said Philippa, well aware she was channelling her inner seventeen-year-old.

“Oh, hang on,” said Chrissie, pausing to appraise the bags under Philippa’s eyes. “You totally did the deed with Alex, didn’t you?”

Philippa pressed her lips together before nodding eagerly. “Yes, I did.”

“Oh my God! This is huge news,” said Chrissie, reaching for her phone.

“Well put that away, you can text Nisha about it later!” admonished Philippa. “But yes, it does feel quite huge. You never told me.”

Chrissie gave Philippa a wry smile while she put her phone back in her pocket. “I never told you what?”

“That being with a woman is possibly the best thing you can ever do.” Philippa giggled.

“Ha ha, well, it’s hardly a well-kept secret.” Chrissie grinned. “Although I must say, I am enjoying seeing the giggly version of you. I’ve never met giggly Philippa before!”

“It’s funny,” said Philippa. “That reminds me of something Dottie said to me a few days ago, about how work is so important to me. I wonder whether I might have leaned into my professional persona a bit too much.”

“Is that a bad thing?” asked Chrissie.

“I don’t know that it’s bad, as such, but I wonder whether there’s another side to me that I’ve neglected,” mused Philippa. “I know I was later in life coming out, but it’s more than that. Perhaps I’ve been so busy being driven, I haven’t taken the time to just be me. To have fun.”

“That’s interesting,” said Chrissie. “I remember last year when I was going through a lot of stuff and I was determined to hold on tight to what I thought was the way to live a good life. I mean, I needed to make a change. That was good, but I was being too prescriptive, I think.”

“Oh yes,” said Philippa. “You said you set yourself a rule of not being able to fall in love, right?”

“Ha,” said Chrissie. “I did. And with good reason. But I guess I learned that sometimes to make a change, you have to let go.”

“I, for one, am delighted that you got together with Nisha,” said Philippa. “I can see how happy you make each other. As your friend, I feel really happy for you.”

“And I feel happy for you,” said Chrissie, briefly bringing her hand to Philippa’s back. “I think it’s great you’ve met Alex. You’re so brave. Putting yourself out there at our age is tough. And this is all new to you.”

“I guess,” said Philippa. “But what else was I going to do? I couldn’t just stagnate. And anyway, part of the reason I’ve become so wedded to my job, is that I didn’t feel entirely wedded to my husband, as it were.”

Chrissie giggled. “I love your turn of phrase. Is that something they teach you in law school? Seriously, though, that makes sense.”

“The thing is, I’m not sure where Alex is when it comes to being in a relationship. She has a lot going on,” said Philippa.

“You said that before,” said Chrissie.

“It’s more than I thought. She has a child she didn’t tell me about.”

“A child?” said Chrissie. “And she hid that from you?” She stopped walking.

Philippa stopped and turned slightly to look at Chrissie. “Yes, yes she did, but she’s explained why.” Chrissie frowned slightly. “Though I must admit, that was my initial reaction as well.”

The friends started to walk again, and Philippa updated Chrissie on what had happened and why.