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Chapter Twenty-Three

D ottie was struggling at the kitchen table with her maths homework. “Let me help,” said Philippa, moving round the table to sit next to her daughter.

“Well, ok,” said Dottie, without lifting her head from the page she was focusing on. “But I warn you, this is incredibly difficult. Even the teacher says so.”

“Goodness me,” said Philippa, stifling a smile, “I consider myself warned.” She put her reading glasses on. “Hmm, yes. Very difficult. I think this might be the hardest homework you’ve had yet.”

“Exactamundo,” agreed Dottie, throwing her hands in the air.

“But look, if you line those numbers up over there, and carry the four, I think you may be able to solve this one,” said Philippa, gently pointing at one of the sums.

Dottie pressed her lips together, looking doubtful, but she did as Philippa suggested. “Oh!” exclaimed the girl. “You are correct!”

“Would you look at that,” said Philippa. “Well done, you!”

“Well done you, too. You’re a genius!” said Dottie. Philippa grinned. She knew that the days of Dottie being impressed by her were numbered, so she made the most of moments like this.

“Why thank you.” Philippa took a breath. Was this the right time? Would any time be the right time? “Is that the last one?”

“Yep,” said Dottie, closing her homework book with a flourish.

“Brilliant. Now, I have something to talk to you about,” said Philippa.

“You do?” Dottie’s eyes went wide and then narrowed. “Last time you said you needed to talk to me, you told me you and Daddy were splitting up. What is it this time?”

“Oh, please don’t worry, darling. No, it’s not like that.

It’s just something you need to know. It’s sort of neither good nor bad.

Just a thing.” Philippa felt out of her depth already, but now she’d started she knew she couldn’t back out.

“It is partly about me and Daddy splitting up, I suppose.” She reached out and took her daughter’s hand.

It was clammy from gripping the pencil. “Do you remember we told you that we split up because we’d grown apart and we wanted different things? ”

“Yep. I figured that was about Daddy wanting to play golf and you wanting to concentrate on your business,” said Dottie, expectantly.

“Perhaps a little,” said Philippa, not in the mood to unpack her daughter’s view of her as a workaholic right now.

“But part of it was also because your dad and me were really just like best friends and not like husband and wife. And that’s because I’ve have realised more recently that actually I’m gay. ”

Dottie’s eyes widened again. “Gay like LGBTQIA plus?” she asked, pronouncing each letter individually and with great care.

“Er, yes,” said Philippa. “Just like that.”

“Cool,” said Dottie. “Miss Anderson and Ms Rajan love each other and they live together.”

Philippa’s eyebrows rose. She wasn’t sure how Dottie knew about Chrissie and Nisha, but she reminded herself of her daughter’s penchant for listening to and sharing playground gossip. “They do,” she agreed.

“Have you got a girlfriend?” Dottie fixed her with one of her unavoidable stares.

“Not right now,” said Philippa, sounding more casual than she felt.

“Does Daddy know?”

“Yes. He was one of the first people I told,” said Philippa, “and he was very kind to me, even though I knew he was upset as well.”

“Good,” said Dottie. “Daddy’s a nice man, isn’t he?”

Philippa nodded. “He is. And maybe one day I might have a girlfriend. Would that be ok?”

“That would be great,” said Dottie. “I think it would be good if you were able to meet someone who stopped you working all the time.”

“I don’t work all the time!” exclaimed Philippa.

“Hmm,” said Dottie. “But anyway, now I’ve done my homework can we have strawberry milkshake?”

“Yes,” said Philippa, relieved the conversation was over and marvelling that it had been a far bigger deal to her than it had been to her girl. “In fact, let’s go out and get celebratory milkshakes. Let’s go down to the Vine.”

“Awesome!” said Dottie. “Can I have pancakes, too?”

Philippa had to give Dottie credit – she knew when to ask for a treat!

The Vine was busy, with other Sunday morning parents looking for an easy way to feed their children. The pancake and milkshake option was a popular one.

“Uncle Charlie!” said Dottie, racing over to a table where Philippa’s old friend sat with a man with close cut fair hair. He looked familiar; no doubt Philippa had seen him working in the Jam Pot.

“Hey, Charles,” said Philippa. “Don’t worry, we won’t crash your party, just coming over to say hi.”

Charlie put up his hands. “No apologies needed, you are, after all, my two favourite ladies. In fact, why don’t you join us?

” Charlie gestured to the table. It was big enough for Philippa and her girl to join, and Dottie slid into a chair without any further invitation.

Philippa followed at a more sedate pace.

“Thanks.” She smiled at Charlie and his companion, assuming this was the man who had inspired Charlie to turn away from his love-’em-and-leave-’em ways. “And is this the debut of your new person?”

Charlie reddened, the man beside him giving a small laugh. “Well, I suppose it is. Dottie, Philippa, I’d like to introduce you to Jack.”

“Go on,” said Jack with a twinkle in his eye. “You know you can say it. I believe in you.”

Charlie elbowed Jack before taking a breath. “And Jack is my boyfriend.”

“Oooh,” said Dottie. “That’s exciting! We’re celebrating today because Mummy is gay, too. Did you know?”

“Well,” said Charlie, “if I didn’t, I do now. But yes. I know. And I am thrilled that your mum is now part of the cool gang.”

“The LGBTQIA+ gang?” asked Dottie, the acronym rolling off her tongue a bit more easily now.

“That’s the one,” said Jack. “I like you. Would you be my friend as well as Charlie’s?”

“Oh yes,” said Dottie. “Question first, though.” She looked intently at the newcomer.

“Right, ok, I’m ready,” said Jack, looking serious.

“Do you like Taylor Swift?” asked Dottie.

“Well that’s easy. Yes, of course,” said Jack. “Although I’ll let you in on a little secret, and I hope you won’t judge me for it. I like Billie Eilish a tiny bit more.” He widened his eyes as though readying himself for an onslaught of criticism.

“Hmm,” said Dottie. “Ok, I’m willing to let that go, because I like her, too. We can be friends.” She held out her hand for Jack to shake.

“Now the formalities are done with, I’d like to say how nice it is to meet you, Jack,” said Philippa. “You help run the Jam Pot cafe, right?”

“Yeah,” said Jack, “with my sister, Seymour.”

“I’m a big fan,” said Philippa. “Can I get either of you a drink when I order a stack of pancakes at the bar?”

“Ooh, pancakes,” said Charlie. “I went to the gym this morning, so I’ve definitely earned some.”

“I’m not sure lounging about in the sauna counts as a full gym session,” said Jack, looking at his boyfriend fondly. “But no one needs an excuse for pancakes.”

Dottie laughed and Philippa reflected that she hadn’t seen Charlie so at ease with someone in a very long time. It was good to see him settled.

The four of them chatted and tucked into pancakes, enjoying the lazy Sunday morning vibes.

“Have you seen Fletch recently?” asked Charlie.

Philippa paused before answering, certain her face had given away the fact that she very much had seen Alex recently. And that the meeting had not been uneventful.

“She had birthday drinks on Friday, and I went along.” She kept her voice as smooth as she could.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Me thinks the lady doth underplay that. Something has clearly happened.”

“What’s happened, Mummy?” asked Dottie, swivelling her head in order to favour Philippa with her customary hard stare.

“Nothing,” said Philippa, keeping her voice light and breezy. “I went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday while you were at Daddy’s.”

Jack looked at Charlie, who appeared to have no intention of giving up on this one. Philippa side-eyed her daughter, trying to remind Charlie that this might not be the right conversation to have in front of Dottie.

Jack smiled. “Dottie, did you see there are some board games over there? Do you fancy choosing one for us to play?”

Jack winked at Philippa and Charlie, leading Dottie away.

“What happened?” said Charlie. “I was supposed to go, but I had a terrible headache. I need to live vicariously through you. And you know I love a spot of lesbian drama.”

Philippa rolled her eyes, but smiled. “No drama here. But you’re right, of course. We kissed.” She looked down to try and hide her heating cheeks.

“You kissed!” exclaimed Charlie.

“Shh, I don’t need my love life debacles shared with everyone in here, least of all Dottie,” said Philippa in a stage whisper.

“She strikes me as someone who would give pretty good advice,” said Charlie. “But ok, tell me what happened.”

Philippa sighed and gave him what, in her professional life, she would have called a high level summary.

Charlie frowned for a moment. “Sounds both good and bad. I mean, well done for being honest and saying how you felt. Just tread carefully. I wouldn’t want either of you getting hurt.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Philippa, disappointed that her first kiss with a woman seemed mired in complexity.

“She’s more vulnerable than you might think,” said Charlie.

“Really, how so?” asked Philippa.

“Not my story to tell, I’m afraid, darling, but she is a good egg. Know that,” said Charlie.

“I’m getting that sense,” said Philippa, remembering how Alex had come to rescue her at the hospital.