Page 38

CHAPTER 38

PLEASE LOOK AT ME

KAYDEN

I can't stay in that room with Emory for another second without ripping her dress off and drawing my hands along her body. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want her right now.

I swear that woman never leaves the house without her hair and makeup done, but this is a whole new level. Her hair is swept up, inviting my lips to trace the line of her jaw. To her chin. Up to those pink lips. Lips that are off limits to me. That I would beg for one chance to kiss. That I may never see again after tonight.

My flight leaves at six in the morning, so I'll be gone before Emory is awake. Tonight is it. One last night of pretending not to love her before this ends.

I lean against the corner of an exhibit and close my eyes. Guests mill around, and I know I draw their attention as I clench and unclench my fists, trying to regain control of myself.

When the news breaks later that my supposed engagement is off, they'll be able to say they were here when it happened. They saw the minute Emory broke my heart. But they'll never know I'm breaking my own to protect hers.

"There you are. Are the girls ready?" Sammy asks, oblivious to the swirling waters threatening to drown me. "I think Branny's about to lose it. He keeps untying and retying his tie as he paces the room. Is it possible for a person to go insane on their wedding day? I mean, that would be terrible timing, right? The day you're supposed to pledge your eternal love to someone, but instead?—"

"Sammy! Yes! They're ready. Go tell the wedding coordinator." I don't give him a chance to respond. I can't hear another word about love or eternity right now.

When I walk into the room, I see that Sammy wasn't exaggerating. Brant's eyes are wide, and he's walking a small loop on the tile floor. As soon as he notices me, though, he stops. "Is she…?"

"Ready? Yeah. Sammy's letting them know to start the ceremony."

His shoulders relax. "I was going to ask if she's still here. She didn't leave? Thank god."

"Neither of your girls is ever going anywhere. They love you. People who love each other don't leave, right?"

But that's exactly what I'm doing when I get on that plane in the morning. Leaving the woman I love. Knowing she'll be gone. Knowing the rest of my life I'll move from empty room to empty room, remembering how she filled those spaces.

"Showtime, boys!" Sammy bursts in. "The guests are heading to their seats. The officiant is about to walk down that aisle. Then it's you, big guy." He punches Brant on the shoulder. I put a hand on Brant's other arm to steady him. I don't trust him to stand up against a light breeze right now let alone a playful knock on the shoulder.

"I'm getting married." He smiles at each of us. "I'm getting married to the most amazing, most wonderful woman in the world. I'm. Fucking. Getting. Married!"

"Hell yes you are, my brother!" Milo startles me as he leaps up. He's been sitting so quietly in the corner that I almost forgot he was there. "Let's do this!"

Just as he slaps down on Brant's shoulders, the sound muffled by the suit, a wedding organizer peeks her head in and calls us out into the wide hall. We line up as she reminds us of the ceremony's order, but I barely hear a word. Because the instant Emory exits the room on the other side of the hall, every bit of my attention belongs to her.

In my mind, I hear the swish of her dress with every step she takes. I hear the breaths moving in and out of her lungs. I hear her heart beat.

Look at me, I beg silently . Please look at me.

Just one look to keep me afloat for tonight. For Brant and Lily. After tonight, I don't care if I'm dragged to the bottom of the ocean, but tonight I have to keep treading water for them.

But she doesn't look at me.

"Hey." Brant snaps twice, his fingers just inches from my nose as he steps in front of me. "Tell her."

"Tell her what? There's nothing to say." I can barely force the lie out.

"Tell her how you feel."

I shake my head. "She doesn't feel the same."

"She does, dumbass. Everyone but you can see it. What did the greatest hockey player of all time say?"

I pull on the fake smile I'm so used to wearing. "I've said lots of things. It could be anything."

He sighs. "Funny. He said you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don't take. Take the shot, Kayden. Oh, and stop looking so miserable. I don't want to look back at my wedding photos ten years from now and see what a fucking sad sack you were."

When he walks away, toward the aisle, my attention instantly snaps back to the other side of the hall, and I catch Emory's gaze on me. Just a fraction of a second before she looks down at her feet. But she was looking at me, and it's enough to allow me one more lungful of air.