Page 84

Lucky slings colorful arms over his knees, unusually grim. It’s not the same restless anxiety that lurked in him after Cyanide. This fear is weighted and quiet, matured by experience.

Lucky knows war.

And he doesn’t offer jokes now. He looks at me like he knows the exact cost of it.

“You know Alastair,” he offers. “You know better than we do how he might react.”

Right.

Badly.

“He has Heather.” Dom’s voice is carefully controlled, which tells me more than anything how deeply that guilt cuts him.

Maybe even as much as it does me.

He’s a solid presence against the wall, like an Old Testament angel, brutal and forged for war.

“Bentley too,” he adds. His jaw tightens. “If we go against Alastair, they’ll bear the brunt of it.”

My stomach sinks, and I duck my head. I’ve spent countless hours thinking about them and the captives the Sinners still have trapped.

Into the quiet, Jasper sighs.

“Your perspective is important, too, Eden. It appears as though many of the civs have had a change of heart regarding the Reapers, but I know how complicated those feelings might be.” Jasper’s dark eyes are too knowing and shadowed with the exhaustion of the last week.

From sessions and sessions with civilians that make me believe he does understand.

His voice is as soft as his gaze. “We might offer our own services, but we can’t make a decision like this for everyone.

Not when it risks their safety... not unless you and they are comfortable with it. ”

“If we’re doing this, we’re doing it the right way,” Lucky says, glancing at Dom and Dom gives him a long look before, finally, he nods to himself.

Around the room, my brutes are all as serious as one another. None look surprised.

This is something they’ve discussed before.

Together .

Emotion sits heavily in my chest. They really do understand, I think. We all know the stakes—how desperately we need a stable food supply, and how dire our future looks with the Sinners ruling our lives and the lives of everyone around us. We all know we need the Reapers to survive.

But they know that surviving means nothing without the dignity of choice.

God, how is it possible to be equal parts grateful and furious that they’re giving this choice to me?

Beau comes around and sits on the couch, too, on the opposite end to Jasper.

“All of that is important, but... it also affects you, darlin’.

” Beau meets my eyes. “You know it will mean every one of us will be in danger. We haven’t talked much about what it means to be with someone who leaves every day and might not come home.

We haven’t talked much about what that means for you. .. but it won’t be easy.”

Dread swamps me, and my teeth come down hard on my cheek as apprehensive tears prick my eyes. We might not have talked about it, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what this fight could mean.

I remember when I believed they were dead.

I remember the dark.

Trying to buy myself time to think, I wipe my trembling hands on my nightdress... and frown as they stick sweatily against the silk.

“I need to . . .”

Be busy. Do something.

I need to think.

Haltingly, I walk over to Jaykob and kneel at his feet, absently, I reach for his boots, my mind racing.

He stiffens, then his legs flinch up as he recoils in his chair like I’ve launched myself at him. I blink in surprise, re-focusing on him.

He’s on the chair by himself, and his thick, tattooed arms are almost bursting from his sleeves. His rifle leans against the couch behind him, and he’s still entirely dressed. Uncomfortably dressed, for someone who’s supposed to be relaxing among friends.

“The fuck are you doing down there?” Jayk shifts, then eyes everyone else suspiciously.

He scoffs. “No. No . It ain’t happening.

Four of us was already two too many, sugar.

Things might be getting cute in here, but if you’re planning on running a train right now, then I’m jumping in front of the fucking tracks. ”

Affronted, I open my mouth, but Dom beats me to it. “You crashed our date. Just let her work. She talks more when she doesn’t have to make eye contact.”

The last is droll enough that I sneak a tart look at him over my shoulder.

He’s sassy—but he’s not wrong.

Already, between their banter and the task, I feel my panicked heartbeat beginning to settle. They’re all here.

We’re all here together and we’ll figure it out.

“Can’t she just face the wall or something?” Jayk grumbles, but slowly, he eases his legs back on either side of me, still flinchingly suspicious, and I suppress an eye roll as I start loosening the laces on his boots.

He is not used to people doing anything for him, and it shows.

It’s a miracle he hasn’t kicked me away, too.

“No need to be frightened of her, Jaykob. We’re all here to protect you,” Jasper soothes with droll amusement, and Lucky’s serious expression flickers for a moment as Jasper wins a smile.

Jayk flips Jasper off, but he does look down at me, hesitating as I untie the last of his laces.

“You don’t have to, you know,” he finally mutters.

How can one man be so sweet and so infuriating all at once?

“If I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t, Jayk.” Sweetly, I add, “And just for the record, it’s actually far more comfortable down here than it is to be tossed over your shoulder every thirty minutes.”

I yank off one of his boots, and he snorts, relaxing more as I tease him. I smile as I start tugging off his other boot more gently, but it quickly fades. I feel their eyes on me from all sides.

“I don’t think Alastair will kill Heather. He might make her life miserable, but he’s...” I shake my head. “He’s fixated on her. Obsessed, maybe.”

Dom stiffens, and his voice is thick with anger when he says. “What about?—”

I stop him short. “He doesn’t agree with rape, sir. I don’t think it was a line, or that he was pandering—I sensed genuine contempt from him when there was any suggestion of...” I falter. “Of anything like that. I think that’s one thing Heather doesn’t have to worry about.”

Memories threaten. Owen’s narrow, lascivious smile and the eyes crawling over my skin, and my hands pause.

Alastair might not have that particular vice, but there are hundreds of Sinners.

.. and a clear majority of them had no issue with kidnapping women and worse.

Sam attracted thugs and rapists in droves.

This world is too lawless, and those men are too bloodthirsty to agree to peace. There’s no way Alastair could control them all, even if he wanted to.

And given the state of the Reapers’ butchered friends, I’m not at all sure he does.

If he wants to keep his power, he’ll need to sate his men’s appetites one way or another.

It just isn’t a threat we can afford to live under.

Jaykob nudges me with his foot, and I startle, catching his ankle. I realize the men are dead silent, watching me with dark, livid concern.

I squeeze him and offer them all a soothing smile. I tuck Jaykob’s boots neatly beside the armchair, then get up.

“Heather might be safe, and I think the women are considered too valuable among the Sinners to murder out of spite. Alastair did say he’d keep them safe, but...” I purse my lips. “Winning against the Sinners is the only way I can see them walking free.”

“And Bentley?” Beau grimaces. “I don’t suppose you can see any reason why Alastair would save his hide, do you?”

My chest aches as I think of Soren.

I press a soft kiss to Jayk’s bristled cheek, then move toward Jasper, needing his calm.

To my surprise, Jayk lets me go.

Jasper accepts me onto his lap easily, pressing his lips against my temple as I settle against him. Old books and sharp leather wrap around me. Easing me. Turning his wrist, I begin loosening his cufflinks.

Quietly, I say, “If they know Red Zone is involved... I can’t see why Alastair wouldn’t press hard on that leverage if he could. He doesn’t make empty threats.” I look at Jayk. “Can we keep them out of it?”

There’s a beat before Jayk blinks and looks up, realizing the question is aimed at him. A hunted, troubled look falls over his rough features.

Absently, Jayk flicks open his pocketknife, toying with it for a long moment before he finally mutters, “Well, we could use the hands. Right?”

The question isn’t directed at anyone, and Jasper, Lucky, and Beau sit back, pensive and frowning.

But Dom is already shaking his head, deep in thought as he stands over us.

“Red Zone doesn’t have big numbers—and they have a lot of teenagers to protect.

They’re useful where they are. They’re close enough to track Alastair’s movements.

” Dom’s brow knots, but he nods. “That counts for a lot. They can get us supplies to rig defenses. Intel. Maybe some of their weapons. They’ve got their base locked up tighter than a duck’s ass, so they should stay safe enough.

As long as we can establish supply drops.

Secure a communication channel... Maybe the satellite phone, if we can track another one down for them.

National Park might have one. Not too far out, if the Sinners haven’t already cleared that out, too.

” He tilts his head, sighing heavily. “It’s possible. ”

Jayk’s pocketknife falls still.

Slowly, he lifts his head... and Jayk gives Dom a serious, contemplative look.

Jasper murmurs, “In any case, Red Zone needs to understand the risk. Their freedom might cost Bentley his life.”

Another brick settles heavily in my stomach.

Heather and Bentley are fierce protectors. If it came down to saving themselves or the people they love, I know what they’d choose.

Only, the choice won’t be theirs.

How can we make that decision on their behalf?

Then again, how many Reapers might die if we don’t? How long will Red Zone be able to hold out under Alastair’s nose? How will Soren get the medicine he needs? How many Ethels and Kaseys and Avas will die of hunger?

God, Heather would kill me if I let that happen.