Page 20

And yes, maybe they’re not good options, but it’s a place to start.

If we can stop bickering long enough to talk about it.

Beau runs a frustrated hand over his face, and it’s splotched and red with mosquito bites. “We have a woman laid up with a bullet wound, so I’m not really sure that?—”

Whatever thread of calm holding Dom at bay snaps. He storms over to Beau and pushes him against the wall. Beau’s mouth snaps shut, and he grips Dom’s arms, holding him back.

I suppose that’s a no. They’re not stopping their bickering any time soon.

I step forward, then hover on my toes, not sure if this is a brawl-I-should-break-up or a brawl-I-can-let-myself-ogle.

“We should really get one of those flippy counters,” Lucky says conversationally, dropping into another chair. “Zero days since a fistfight.”

“At this rate, let’s just make it a painting,” I mutter acerbically, and he throws me a wicked dimple.

Civilians trickle into the house, then pick up the pace when they spot the commotion. I sigh as they hurry past and resign myself to watching the tussle. Dom doesn’t have a knife this time, and I’m sure he won’t shoot Beau.

Reasonably sure, anyway.

“You’re an asshole and a hypocrite,” Dom growls.

His body is a block, a tank ready to crush Beau against the wall.

“You keep saying you’re supportive and loyal, and I know you think you’re sensitive , but you need to stop.

Jayk isn’t taking my job. I stepped down.

Treating him like shit won’t make me change my mind—just like cutting me out didn’t fix anything between us. ”

The watercolor art behind them looks like it’s spilling across the wall.

Beau’s jaw squares further, and he unclenches his hands from Dom’s uniform with strained patience. “I’m not cutting you out.” The words come from between clenched teeth. “I needed space for a while, that’s all, but I’m here now. Everything is fine . I want to hel?—”

The last word is garbled as Dom’s forearm finds Beau’s throat. “It’s not fine, you dick. The only reason you stopped acting like a petulant fucking toddler was because you thought I was sad , so you just shoved all your shit to the side again so you could play hero.”

A shutter slams down over Beau’s face, and he shoves Dom back. “Get off me.”

Dom is an erupting volcano, raw and hot in his need to cause destruction. Beau braces, and Dom slams against him again, pummeling him against the wall.

It’s almost... sloppy, not at all like their lethal sparring sessions. Those I watched mesmerized by their breathless skill and the way they anticipate one another. At the violent, beautiful dance they performed for hours.

This is just a mess of camo and fists and frustration.

Dom kicks out Beau’s ankle. He wrenches Beau’s tanned arm behind him and slams him against the wallpaper, face-first this time, and spits, “You’re not the hero, Beau. You just got lucky enough to grow up with a nice mama and sisters who adored you. A dad who.. .”

There’s a rough ache in Dom’s voice as he cuts himself off. I remember sitting under the candle-lit apple tree as he smiled over the dearly missed Bennetts.

Jasper leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he studies them. His eyes are obsidian scalpels as he dissects them, and I can almost see the notes he’s silently jotting down. Lucky winces as he eyes them, kicking his legs over the arm of his chair.

“You think your family made you a good person, Beau, but they didn’t.

” Dom presses Beau harder. “You don’t get what it’s like to never be good enough, or what it’s like to be hurt, because they always protected you.

They loved you no matter what. When you fucked up, you just had to flash a smile and they forgave you—you’ve never had to apologize.

You’ve never had to work to make it better.

You’ve always had people, Beau, so you don’t know what it’s like when they’re not there for you. ”

Beau stiffens, then tries to twist to look at him. “Don’t, Dom. Don’t bring them into this.”

But Dom’s not giving him an inch.

“You don’t get it,” Dom snaps. “You never have. You live in the highs and can’t fucking deal with the lows. You can’t get angry unless I plan a scene for you to work it through. You?—”

Pinned against the delicate, painted swirls, Beau’s eyes squeeze shut, and suddenly I feel like this is too far. This isn’t a tussle.

This is an evisceration.

I step forward, anxious. “Dom. Sir, this isn’t right.. .”

But Dom doesn’t stop, he grinds Beau’s face against the wall. “You never meet people where they’re at or try to see things from their side. You never accept an apology—and you sure as hell don’t accept criticism. Perfect fucking Beau. Must be so nice up there on that high horse.”

Beau slams on the wall hard, then twists with a sharp elbow to Dom’s gut. Dom grunts and he wrests his way free, staggering away.

Beau looks at Jasper, who gives him a pursed lip look that offers silent disagreement. Even Lucky’s gaze skips guiltily away. He stops, panting, his whole face dark and red as he turns to his friend. “Funny, I don’t remember ever hearing an apology from you. Not ever, Dom.”

My heart squeezes, torn. Beau has his issues, but so do they—so do I . The naked vulnerability and confusion in his face makes me bleed in a thousand places.

His lips press together too hard, and he looks down, breathing unsteadily, before he looks back to Dom.

“You’re wrong that I’ve never been hurt.

You hurt me. You hurt me, Dom.” His throat works as he swallows, and he adds more quietly, “And I still haven’t gone anywhere.

I just needed some time, that’s all. I want to see your side. I’m not... I’m not your father.”

Dom is panting hard too, more than the brief scrap warrants, and dark, bitter unhappiness shrouds him like a smog. It weighs down his mouth and clouds his eyes.

Beau, on the other hand, looks like he might fracture apart. He’s glassy-eyed and glowing bright, and I feel a rip down my middle, wanting to help them both.

Wanting to hold them both.

Dom’s voice becomes hushed, too scored and rough with emotion to survive full volume.

“You can’t just waltz back on into my life like nothing ever happened.

I’m not going to pinch your cheeks and make you a pie just because I missed you, Beau.

I needed you then , and because you couldn’t grow up and talk it out, you just left me alone.

You broke something here. And you’re breaking it with her, too. ”

I suck in a sharp breath as the shards in my throat dig inward.

Neither of them look at me, but the energy in the room charges, becomes fizzy and uncomfortable. Gooseflesh shivers self-consciously over my skin, and I look down at my boots. The toes are pointed together, just a little, and I hate that I’ve tracked this mud in.

My vision goes cloudy again. I’ll clean the rug tomorrow, and re-tape the windows, and whatever else needs doing.

I’ll fix it.

Somehow, I’ll fix it.

But God, how on earth am I supposed to share a room with Beau when he can’t even talk to me?

“Did you have a point? Or do you just feel like airing our dirty laundry any old place?” Beau asks tiredly after a long, excruciating silence.

I glance up, aching, and Dom rolls his shoulders back, looking just as exhausted as I feel.

We’re not going to make any progress on our issues tonight.

We’re all fried. It’s been an enormous few months. We all need to rest and breathe for a while, because this? This is impossible.

Dom’s fingers dig into his short dark hair, then he releases it, shaking his head.

“My point is that Jayk has been doing good fucking work. He’s been thinking and acting, and he has their loyalty.

Rather than dragging him down for everything you think he’s doing wrong, why don’t you pull your head in and actually help him.

Not a single one of you could do any better.

Show some fucking gratitude.” He nods at Lucky and Jasper too, and the amusement is wiped from their faces.

“That goes for you two as well. You need to stop skipping out on everything that doesn’t directly involve you. Pull your goddamned weight.”

He’s not even angry anymore. It’s that same slow, stinging resignation. The frustration and exhaustion that burns enough to blister.

Lucky looks away, shamefaced, and after a long, frigid look, Jasper gives him a long look, then finally nods once, in curt acceptance.

“Well on that note,” Kasey says from behind me, “I’m going to practice my knife throwing in the library. You have fun withall that.”

Oh, crap .

I spin to see Jayk standing just inside the door... and he’s staring at Dom with a confused, unguarded expression.

My heart tumbles as I realize he heard all of that.

How rare is it for Jayk to get support like that from these men?

“ Knife throwing?” Jasper leaps to his feet, staring after Kasey in alarm. “Jaykob? Tell me she’s joking.”

She’d better be.

I walk over to Jayk. It’s not until I touch his arm that he startles back to himself. I give him a small smile, a little hesitant. He hasn’t been treating me like we’re over, but we left things in a strange place, and he’s only had the highlights of what happened at the Den.

And I’m not sure how much he heard of that conversation, but even if it was just the last, he has to know we were all talking about him.

He stares down at me, his eyes navy seas, with pirated treasures sparkling in their depths.

“Jayk, you need anything?” Dom asks, and Jayk’s head snaps up, and he gives him that wary, cornered-animal look again for an instant before he plasters a smirk over his face.

I’m debating how to approach him when he spins, and the next thing I know I’m being thrown over Jayk’s thick shoulder.

No, no, no ! I hate this!

He gives my ass a resonant smack .

“You know what, sugar? I think it’s time we went back to our honeymoon suite.”