Page 47

Every one of them with their mouths on her. Her wanting every one of their mouths on her. She told me. She keeps fucking saying it, but I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to see it or hear it or know it. I want her for myself.

I’m fighting for it. For her. I’ve been fighting. I could fuck Dom up right now, but... she’ll hurt over it.

Fucking damn it .

I back up, letting them have it. There’s no point, not now.

I justneed to do more to convince her. It’s only been one night. I have weeks of them coming. She said this is a war, and she’s fighting her side, so I’ll just... I’ll keep doing the same.

I’ll leave her so wrecked, so god-damned dick drunk she won’t be able to think about them without getting nauseous.

She won’t need them. Neither of us do.

Only . . .

I look down at my rifle, thinking of the civs and our stores. The Reapers on our doorstep, and the Sinners waiting in the wings. My chest constricts a little tighter, and something else touches me.

Something miserable and cold that I’ve been running from for too many fucking years.

Something fucking . . . lonely .

I scowl. Damn it all . What the hell am I even supposed to do here? I don’t think I can do this alone.

Beau falls in beside me as Dom finally sets Eden back on her feet. Whatever the shrink said to him earlier today seems to have pulled the stick out of his ass, because he’s moving easier now. Looking less like he’s going to try and take my head off for the hell of it.

“We still doing this?” he asks, and I scoff softly.

I don’t know where all these doubts came from. Working in my barn, keeping to myself, I never had many of those. Now I can’t seem to shake them.

Eden’s hand presses against her mouth, then her chest, and she stumbles back. She turns back to the tunnel, only to walk into the rock, and I glower at her.

“You know, we can do this together. If you want.”

Beau’s careful drawl makes me stiffen, and I turn to stare hard at him. He shrugs, adjusting a strap on his kit, and moonshine makes splotches of his face.

He’s bland as dry toast when he glances back over at me. “The raid, I mean.”

My pulse is racing like we’re mid-battle, not mid-conversation in the middle of the woods at just past dark.

“What happened to you ‘not following me anywhere?’” I snark, unable to help myself.

His words have tunneled under my skin, and I can’t get them out.

Beau rubs his jaw, watching Dom stride back over to us. He can’t hide the self-satisfied fucking curl of his mouth, and I have to look away from it.

“Did you taste me on her?” Lucky asks him. “What does that make us?”

“I’ll write you a poem later. Go get into position,” Dom replies without missing a beat, scanning the still forest.

“Like . . . missionary, or . . .?”

Jasper grips the back of Lucky’s neck and murmurs something into his ear that makes him shiver, then move out without another word.

They all glance at me, and I gesture to move forward, feeling like a fraud.

Beau was right earlier.

I don’t deserve this.

But he moves forward through the bushes, keeping pace with me. Matching my steps. And like he’s reading my fucking mind, he sighs.

“I’m sorry, Jayk. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Gritting my teeth, I signal for them to swing wide. It only takes them a moment to obey. We all know where we’re going. We have a target—we just need to find our moment.

I don’t need this surface-level Hallmark shit.

Beau doesn’t know when to stop though.

“Don’t get me wrong, I still think you have your head wedged up your asshole, and you need some kind of reality check about Eden, and we’re going to have a talk about where you put all my underwear, but.. . this is a good plan. You did good. With tonight, I mean. The civs, too.”

I press my tongue against my teeth at the condescension, but I keep my trap shut. He’s being honest at least, and that’s better than the touchy-feely crap.

And I don’t think the doc knows how to stop being condescending.

The edge of the Reapers’ camp flickers through the trees, and as soon as I hang back, so do the others.

In their camo and kits, I can barely see them tucked between low bushes.

Jasper is calm and confident, Dom nods at me, and even Lucky’s quit it with the jokes.

He’s tense and focused, covering both of the others.

Adrenaline kicks in, hot and heady, and my nerves start to settle.

Patronizing or not, the doc is right—it is a good fucking plan.

Beau’s voice lowers further, and I wonder how we’re still talking about this now. “Anyhow, I figure I can give this a shot. I’ll put my ego aside. I think... you know, I really do think we could do this if we stop trying to rip each other apart. We can make it work.”

I stop. Leaves prickle against my neck as I stare at him.

“We still talking about the raid?” I bite out, and his teeth flash at me in the dark.

Beau picks up his rifle, rolling onto the balls of his feet as he chuckles.

“Ah, Jayk. Come on, now. You know as well as I do—it’s always about the girl.”