Page 71 of Endless Anger (Monsters Within #1)

LUCY

Asher stands in the doorway of the hotel suite, hands in his pockets.

Dad wanted all of us to head back to Aplana Island, but I refuse to leave before Foxe is in recovery, and Asher agreed. My father booked us all rooms and then disappeared with Aurora and Muna to take care of things back at Avernia.

Whatever those things are, I don’t know and didn’t ask. For once, I’m going to let him take care of it.

I’m wearing a change of clothes that Aurora brought—a fleece pajama short and tank top set—and clutching the hotel blankets like a life raft.

I took my regular meds and the painkillers Dad grabbed from my dorm, but still there’s a humming in my body that only ever seems to come alive when Asher’s around.

This is the first I’ve seen of him since last night.

He’s cleaned up, hair dripping likely from a shower, and I can’t stop staring at him—his warm brown eyes, hard as topaz as he casts his gaze around the dull room. The slant of his jaw, the wet strands of hair sticking to his forehead, and the aura that just pulses around him.

Even though I can tell he’s still angry, I know I’m safe with him here .

I can breathe. Relax my jaw and unclench my muscles.

Maybe even sleep.

Mom and Aunt Lenny have been calling nonstop since Dad checked me in, asking if they needed to fly to us. I declined, because I don’t really want to deal with all that extra attention right now, and I’m afraid that if anyone else asks me if I’m okay, I’m going to explode.

Asher doesn’t ask, because he already knows. I see it reflected in his eyes. When he steps inside the room, he gently clicks the door shut, latching the lock.

For a few seconds, we just look at each other. None of this feels real still. I’ve barely comprehended that Foxe is alive and we got out, much less that Asher’s here with me. Angry but so obviously relieved.

I throw back the comforter at the same time as he stalks quickly across the room, snatching me into his arms. He clings so tight that it’s difficult to breathe, but I don’t say a word, soaking in his fresh, clean scent and letting his warmth ground me.

Burying my face in his neck, I let out a broken whimper. “I’m so sorry.”

He pulls back, palming my head. “What the hell are you apologizing for?”

“I didn’t listen to you when you told me to stay away from Beckett,” I say.

“If I’d just stayed put and let you do what you wanted, none of this would have happened.

I got two people killed, your dad injured, and Foxe…

” My eyes sting, and I try to blink the tears away, but they fall regardless.

“He stepped in for me. They wanted to take me, and he begged to go in my place.”

Dropping my gaze as I admit the last part, a wave of nausea rolls through me, and I try to break from Asher’s grip. I can’t look at him—not after that.

But he tightens his hold, his face hard as stone.

“Don’t fucking look away from me, pup. You think that’ll do you any good?

I know you. I can feel the despair taking root in your bones as we speak.

I hear your guilt and shame making your brain move a thousand miles a minute.

I’m not letting you go so you can curl up in bed and spiral. ”

I glare at him. “You can’t just force me to not feel bad about this. Foxe is fighting for his life because of me.” Another sob, and this time he catches it against his throat, smoothing his hand over my hair. “How can you even stand to touch me right now, knowing that? You should hate me.”

“Tried that once. Didn’t really work out.”

Pulling back, I furrow my eyebrows. “What?”

“When we were thirteen, and I was a stupid little shit who hated seeing you cry. I left your dog’s funeral early because I was trying to convince myself that watching you get emotional would be easier if I couldn’t stand you.”

Offense scratches at my chest. “Wow. So when I made my way to your bedroom seeking comfort, you were thinking about how much you hated me?”

“I didn’t hate you though. I couldn’t . Your vulnerability and compassion are what I liked most about you; it wasn’t fair to hold them against you just because I was insecure.

” He pauses, sliding his fingers over my jaw.

“Foxe loves all that about you too, you know. He didn’t just come to Avernia for me. ”

Sniffling, I shake my head. “Not helping ease the guilt, pretty boy.”

His grin chips away at the frozen pieces of my heart.

Just a little, but enough. “What I’m saying is…

Foxe made his own decisions down in that cave.

Shit decisions I’m going to kick his ass for when he’s healed up, but still.

You didn’t make him do it. And if anything, I’m to fucking blame for bringing him here in the first place.

All he wanted to do was spend some quality time with us, and I’ve been an asshole to him all semester. ”

My heart shatters with the realization that neither of us was kind to him. Not the way he deserves.

And maybe that’s what guilt is—a culmination of events and neglect that causes other people to get hurt. People who would never do it back to you.

Who would sacrifice themselves for you .

“What about Beckett?” I ask, finally redirecting the conversation. “Willa and…”

I can’t bring myself to say their names, just like I can barely believe what Eli said about Tag.

It hadn’t been Beckett at all. Just the other three causing fucking chaos, ruining lives for no reason.

Exhaling, Asher yanks me in the direction of the bed.

He perches on the edge of the mattress, pulling me onto his lap.

“Fury Hill PD has the entire Primordial Forest on lockdown, though it wouldn’t surprise me if everything was cleaned up by Monday.

Beckett’s being treated at the student health center, and the coroner came to collect the others. ”

Nodding, I lay my head on his shoulder. “How come I don’t feel at all relieved that the police are involved?”

He draws circles on my lower back. “Because you know better.”

“Should I withdraw from the school?”

“I don’t know, Luce. That’s a decision you have to make.” Shifting, he moves us so I’m lying flat on the bed and he’s hovering over me, his arms bracketing my face. “I’m assuming you had a reason to stick around all this time.”

“Avernia credits are nontransferable,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I didn’t want to waste my parents’ money or my time by starting over. But you know, if you’d just told me what the fuck was going on all this time, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

“I know.” He shakes his head, clenching his jaw. “I was an idiot, and I fucked up. I’ll live with that forever.”

Leaning down, he presses a kiss to my clavicle, then drags his lips along the bone until he reaches the other end.

My stomach flutters, and I wince. The painkillers they gave me to help ease the bruising have mostly kicked in, but I don’t mind that I can still feel a little. Reminds me that I am here.

I made it out of that cave.

Alive.

When Asher rears back up, his handsome face looming above me, I cup both of his cheeks in my hands and pull him in. The first sweep of his mouth over mine is tentative, unsure, but then I push my tongue so it tangles with his, deepening the kiss.

A gentle, nervous caress turns to fervent, needy lust, and soon my fingers thread through his hair and he tugs on my top, revealing a breast for his empty palm.

The kneading and teasing of my swollen flesh is the only part of me he touches, and I arch into it, pleasure rippling through my body as if it’s not battered at all.

One of my legs hooks around his waist, bringing our pelvises together so I can feel the length of his arousal. I gasp into his mouth as he grinds against my clit for the briefest second, but then Asher’s retreating, removing my thigh.

“You’re hurt,” he says softly, resting his forehead on mine.

“We can be careful,” I reply, covering his hand with my own, squeezing my breast.

“I can’t keep making your pain worse. Everything that happened tonight is my fault. Not yours?—”

Shaking my head, I lift my chin, capturing his lips. “We have the rest of our lives to make up for the bullshit of the last three years. But I don’t want to think about that right now. I don’t want to think about anything at all except how good it feels to have you touch me.”

My lashes flutter, and he grips my breast roughly, his eyes blazing with desperation. If I had to guess, I’d say they’re a direct mirror of mine.

Finally, he gives in with a heavy exhale, flopping onto his back. I don’t have time to question what he’s doing before he’s shoving his pants down over his hips, kicking out of them, and then dragging his shirt over his head.

I watch, mouth watering, as every inch of his pale skin becomes visible to me.

At this point, I’ve seen him naked dozens of times, yet it feels like the first revelation all over again.

Silently, I trace the outline of that wolf on his thigh, my heart pounding against my rib cage as his muscles tense beneath my touch.

With a grunt, he pulls me up to straddle him. His cock lies thick and stiff against his stomach, and I glide my pussy over it, absorbing the way it throbs even through my clothes.

Eyebrows drawing in, Asher slips the straps of my pajama top over my shoulders, letting the fabric pool at my waist. His jaw clenches so hard a dimple forms in his cheek, and I frown, smoothing my thumb over the crease above his nose.

“I can’t really get in the mood when you’re glaring at me like that,” I say.

His nostrils flare, his gaze glued to my stomach. I glance down, cringing inwardly when I realize how badly bruised I am; reddish purple splotches fan over my abdomen, still swollen and tender to the touch, even with the pain meds.

Feeling decidedly not sexy, I reach for my top and start to pull it back up, but Asher places his hands over mine, stopping me.