Page 40 of Endless Anger (Monsters Within #1)
“Don’t thank me with words,” he says, placing his palms on the table and leaning down with a small smile.
“Why don’t you let me take you out? Professor Dupont’s putting on his winter play, and auditions are open to the public.
We can go and poke fun at the Curators who truly have no business trying to act. ”
I stare at him.
His grin widens. “I know you want to say no, and you probably think I’ll take my donation back if you do. I’m not like that. I would have asked you out either way.”
“You don’t want to go out with me,” I say finally, something unsettling in my stomach, like a boat being thrashed on angry seas.
“Au contraire, mademoiselle. I’ve wanted to go out with you since freshman orientation. You just never let me talk for more than two minutes at a time, so I’ve not had the chance.”
My face heats as a couple of students walk past, glancing over their shoulders, eavesdropping. They walk away whispering and snickering to each other, and I grind my teeth together to keep from calling them out.
“I don’t think a date with me would be good for your social standing,” I try again, folding my arms on the table. “It would be rude of me to do that to you.”
“See, but that’s what I like about you, Lucy. You care about that shit.”
The seat beside me is suddenly yanked back, and a tall figure plops down into it. His knee, in his black chinos, bumps me, and I ignore the way mine tingles beneath my tights from the contact.
I definitely don’t let my gaze track upward, lingering slightly over the thigh I had between my legs not long ago.
Strong muscle strains against the fabric of his pants, and a bit of sweat percolates between my breasts, dripping from my bra as I recall how sturdy and masculine it felt, how primal and desperate I was?—
My hands ball into fists. Focus, Lucy, for fuck’s sake.
“Oh!” Tag’s eyebrows jump as he takes in the intruder. “Lucy, you didn’t tell me you had someone helping out this year.”
“I was kind enough to volunteer my services,” Asher says, and after a few seconds, Foxe meanders over from a booth selling knockoff Girl Scout cookies, with three boxes of chocolate-coconut crisps in his arms.
“Hey, Lulu, how come you’re the only one without a line?
” he asks, dropping two of the boxes onto the table and tearing into the third.
He stuffs a cookie in his mouth, offering the sleeve to Asher, who shakes his head.
“Need me to beef things up for you? Draw in a crowd? Some of the freshmen know who I am at least, so things aren’t a total wash here. ”
I straighten my back, not bothering to turn and spare either of them a look. “Sorry, Tag, maybe you should come back some other time.”
Tag frowns, glancing between the three of us. “Is there a problem, Lucy? Do I need to get security?”
Someone—Foxe—snorts, and Asher scoots forward, balancing his elbows next to mine. “No problems. Right, Lucy ?”
The way he says my name, even though it’s spat through closed teeth, causes something to stir in my stomach. I swallow, forcing a nod.
Asher holds his hands out. “See what I mean? So please, continue your conversation.”
“Well…” Tag tugs at his collar, shifting on his feet.
Across the quad, several other booths are now watching us, captivated by Asher’s sudden presence at my table, I’m sure. They’ve never bothered glancing over here before.
I can already feel Pythia’s gossip trending the longer we sit here.
Founding Family Member Spares Avernia Pariah Precious Moments of His Time.
The headlines write themselves .
“I’d still really like to go with you, Lucy,” Tag says, crossing his arms over his chest. “It would be fun and probably good for you, considering how the semester’s gone so far.”
“Oh?” Foxe leans in, cookie crumbs flying. “Go where?”
“School play auditions. They’re happening soon, and I was thinking we could?—”
“She’s busy.”
My head whips to the side, and I glare at Asher. “No, I’m not.”
His eyebrows lift. “That isn’t what you said in my bed the other day?—”
Reaching beneath the table, I grab his thigh, pinching the inside before he has a chance to stop me. I put all my strength into it, gritting my teeth; he jolts, his hand immediately coming to cover mine as he drags my chair closer.
He grunts, wrenching my fingers from his leg, and then tangles ours together, drawing them into his lap.
Squaring his shoulders, Asher sits back, turning to Tag again. “Sorry about that. You know how Lucy gets when she hasn’t eaten.”
Anger blots out my vision, blurring the side of Asher’s head for a few seconds.
At the same time, my fingers are numb from the elation of holding his hand. Because that’s what this is basically; we’re intertwined at our palms, and he’s got his free hand curled over the two, lazily stroking his thumb along my knuckles.
The number of times I imagined this very gesture when we were teenagers is embarrassing and not something I’ll ever admit out loud, but for a few seconds, I let younger me indulge.
“I…” Tag clears his throat, stepping back from the table. “Yeah, sorry. I had no idea… I didn’t think you dated, Lucy, honestly. I’d never try to slide in on another person’s partner.”
Sitting forward, my chest aches. “No, Tag, it isn’t like that.”
“It’s okay, really! Don’t worry?—”
“I’d love to go out with you!”
I blurt the words before I’ve even finished processing them, suddenly desperate not to have Tag think poorly of me. Like I’ve been stringing him along or didn’t think he was good enough to tell about my boyfriend.
My nonexistent boyfriend . I rip my hand from Asher’s hold and get up, reaching into the jar to fish out Tag’s cash.
Asher’s tense beside me, his rage palpable even from a foot away.
Walking around the table, I tuck the money into Tag’s palm, giving him what I hope is a kind smile.
When allies here are too few and far between, I can’t just let them slip through my fingers.
Tag grins. “Are you sure?”
“As friends though,” I add, too softly for Asher or Foxe to overhear.
Understanding dawns in Tag’s eyes, and he nods emphatically, then looks down at the fifty. “You should keep this?—”
I shake my head. “No way. Keep it so you can take me to get some good refectory food before the auditions. Remember, I don’t eat anything made from animals or their by-products.”
“Then I shall find us the finest vegan food in all of Fury Hill, m’lady!” He gives a fake salute and takes off down the quad, heading for the Lyceum and ducking inside.
Asher’s got his arms crossed, glaring at the now-empty jar when I come back to sit at the table. I scoot my chair out of reach, declining the cookies that Foxe tries to offer me.
“Do you enjoy doing things that piss me off?” Asher asks in a low voice.
“Yes,” Foxe and I say in unison. I lift my fist, and he bumps his knuckles against mine.
Scoffing, Asher juts his chin at the glass. “You gave away your only donation.”
“It was his money.”
“Well, great. Now you have none. How are you going to save the fucking animals with nothing?”
That does it. I feel something—a tether, threadbare and struggling—snap deep inside me, releasing a pit of every negative emotion I’ve been bottling up since his arrival. Everything unspoken in the air over the last three years and the rejections in between—it all comes to a boiling point.
I whirl in my seat, jabbing my finger into the center of his chest. “Why don’t you let me worry about that and mind your own fucking business? I didn’t ask for your help or your opinion or for you to be here at all, so for the love of fucking God, just leave me alone .”
The urge to toss pretty boy in there is strong, but when I turn back toward the quad, my face breaks out in hives with the influx of stares we’re getting.
Yep, he is definitely a problem. For multiple reasons.
A thought occurs to me, and I bend, reaching under the table for my backpack. The wooden box Willa and Eli found is at the bottom, and I take it out, shoving it into Asher’s arms.
“While we’re at it,” I say, pushing again for emphasis. I meet his gaze, doing my damnedest to keep my voice from shaking. “Stop leaving your shit in the forest.”
Asher pales a little. “Where the hell did you get this?”
“Someone else found it and brought it to me,” I say, shrugging. “So whatever’s inside, you should really consider if you’d want some random college kid stumbling on it and then don’t leave it out for just anyone to grab. That’s littering by definition.”
“Gonna issue me a citation, warden?”
Anger roils between my ears like the open mouth of a rushing river, yet I don’t miss the way his voice dips a little when he says that or how his eyes hood, dropping to my lips.
“I’ll report you to your sister,” I counter, giving him a saccharine smile. “Maybe when she gets you kicked out, you’ll give a shit about the environment. Or me.”
Considering the goal of Quincy’s student organization is supposedly campus beautification, I know she’d be on my side too. Even though the Andersons are close-knit, there’s obviously something tying them here that they don’t want to be removed from.
And if they won’t explain it to me, if Asher just wants to pick things up where we left off after he ruined my life, he’s got another think coming.
I’m not the same codependent girl he shattered back then.
I won’t let him close enough to do it again.