Page 37 of Endless Anger (Monsters Within #1)

ASHER

My phone buzzing somewhere on the bed wakes me up, but it’s the arm slung low across my waist that keeps me in place on the tiny mattress.

I’m on my back, the same way I fell asleep, but Lucy’s turned completely around. She’s facing me now, her hair in total disarray, and her arm is heavy where it lies on my bare skin.

I swallow, glad that the duvet cover is at least pulled up enough to hide my dick, which is raging from the early hour.

And only the early hour.

It has nothing to do with the fact that Lucy’s T-shirt has risen up, exposing the slight curve of her hip, or the way her body heat is seeping into mine like warm, delicious honey.

Or the fact that she’s in nothing but panties from the waist down.

Another quick sweep over her sleeping form alerts me to the fact that she’s not wearing just any T-shirt, and she wasn’t wearing one when I left her in the room yesterday.

That’s my shirt. She’s wearing my clothes.

The hem’s lifted, revealing the entirety of her smooth thigh to my hungry gaze. The center is pulled and twisted a bit, sticking to the contour of her tits—perky handfuls I’d love to put in my mouth .

Whoa, Jesus Christ. Where did that come from?

I’m no stranger to wanting Lucy Wolfe. Most of my life has been spent pining silently after her.

Our emotional connection has always taken precedence, but the underlying desire was present too after a certain age.

It wasn’t until after we stopped talking that I realized I needed the connection to feel anything.

She’s the only person I want to be close to. The only one I’ve ever dreamed about riding me, sucking me, letting me live between her legs.

Still, this probably isn’t the place.

Even if my dick is throbbing, begging me to say otherwise.

Keats is nowhere to be immediately found, which is just as well. He’d get in the way cuddling with her, and she’d welcome it.

Animals flock to Lucy and she to them.

Her family even has a grove of laurel trees on the edge of their property where some of their dead pets have been planted because they love animals that much.

I steer clear of the grove though, like with most haunted places. Except if Lucy drags me to their depths, the way she has with Avernia.

Granted, it’s not solely her fault that I’ve wound up here. But she’s not innocent either. She has to know I’d have followed her anywhere.

Eventually. Right? Despite everything…she has to know that us being apart wouldn’t have been forever.

Lifting my hand, I gently brush some black and red hair from her face. A knot forms in my throat as I revel in the softness of her skin.

I’d go to the ends of the earth if she asked me to.

When I withdraw, she shifts in her sleep, her fingers flexing over the waistband of my pants. I suck in a gust of air through my teeth, tensing beneath her inadvertent touch.

She squeezes the elastic fabric, her thumb slipping a fraction of an inch beneath.

My body lights up in flames.

If she moves any more, I might combust on the spot.

Heart racing, I lean to the right, easing myself away from her body. The action has the opposite effect though, and once space opens up between us, gravity pulls her into it.

Into me.

I hold my breath, counting backward from one hundred to calm the hormones raging through me. The tendons in my neck pull to their limit when her fingers graze my skin, and even though I know I should wake her or roll away, I can’t seem to fucking move.

My focus is glued to her sleepy exploration. A tiny sound comes from the back of her throat, and she dives deeper, stretching, ghosting over the tip of my dick.

I grit my teeth until they ache. Every fiber of my being vibrates with ridiculous anticipation, sweat beading along my hairline and dripping down my forehead.

After a few seconds, her eyelashes flutter as she starts to wake, and I exhale long and hard.

Blinking, she swivels those blue eyes toward me. For a brief moment, too brief for me to really grasp it, there isn’t an ounce of hatred hidden in the glittering sapphire.

But in the same instance, it’s back, and I feel completely hollow inside.

“What the fuck , Asher?” she snaps, pushing up on her free elbow.

I lift my palms. “Don’t look at me. You’re the one with her hand in my pants.”

Horror etches into the smooth lines of her face. “Oh my God! Why were you just letting me do that, you fucking perv .”

“ I’m the perv?” I bark as she snatches her hand away, cradling it against her chest. “You got in my bed half-naked and then started groping me. My hands have been perfectly well-behaved.”

“I was asleep, you big dummy!”

“Well, clearly your subconscious has other ideas about what you should be doing.”

Breathing hard, she stares down at me, her ass half hanging off the edge of the bed. Her eyes sparkle in the early morning light, ocean waves I want to dive deep into and drown in .

Something in her expression morphs in the quiet that ensues. She’s thinking, the cogs in her brain turning, and finally she lets out a shallow breath.

“Did you know Foxe and Aurora hooked up?”

Shifting, I pull more of the comforter into my lap. “What, like recently? Not in my bed, I fucking hope.”

“No, not… I mean back when we were younger. She didn’t tell me when exactly, but at some point before we all graduated.”

“Oh yeah, I knew that. Pretty sure all our parents knew.” I glance at her, cataloging the strange, mildly perturbed look on her face. She seems like she’s just barely straddling the line between reality and the past. “You didn’t?”

“How come no one told me?”

“Jesus, I don’t know, Luce. Are you the sex police or something? Did we all have to notify you before we engaged in lewd activities?”

She pushes onto her knees, folding her hands in her lap. The T-shirt sits teasingly on the very tops of her thighs, exposing the rest of her pale flesh to my starved gaze, but I do my best not to stare.

Not too much anyway.

“Have you…” She trails off, her teeth snagging on her bottom lip.

One of my eyebrows arches, interest swimming through my veins. “Have I what?”

“Been with anyone,” she continues, her cheeks blooming a bright pink. “Like that. Sexually or whatever.”

My heart hammers a slow, steady rhythm in my chest. Against my ribs, like it’s trying to get out. I sit up a little, propping my head on my hand with my elbow resting on the mattress.

“Are you asking because you don’t want to be the only virgin left of our friend group?” I utter, barely able to push the words out. “Or because you want to know if I went to someone else after rejecting you?”

Her eyes lift, anger etching into the corners. She clenches her jaw, her nostrils flaring. “I don’t remember propositioning you. ”

“No? Your hand on my dick in the sunflower field—that wasn’t an invitation?”

She’s silent for a moment. “I was drunk.”

“Not that drunk.”

“That was years ago.”

“I still think about it.”

A tense beat of silence pulses between us. She swallows audibly, and I watch her throat work over the gesture. “What, when you’re out fucking girls? Is it supposed to make me feel good that you at least envision me instead?”

When she starts to get off the bed, my hand lashes out, locking around her wrist. I tug, wanting—no, needing —her closer. She resists, because of fucking course she does, so I move to her.

I lean in, curling a strand of her hair around one of my fingers. “Who said anything about other girls , pup?”

“Please.” She smacks my hand away, but I just grab her again, keeping her from slinking back. Frustration laces her brow. “I’m not stupid, you know. If Foxe is out there…sowing his oats or whatever, it stands to reason you’d be doing it too. Monkey see, monkey do.”

“And if I told you I’ve never touched another girl the way I wanted to touch you that night, among those ridiculous fucking flowers? Beneath the stars?” My grip on her tightens, and I inch forward so our breaths mingle. “That I’ve never even thought of being with anyone else that way?”

Glassy blue eyes meet mine. “Then I’d say you’re a liar.”

“Not right now I’m not.” Exhaling a shaky breath, I try once more to pull her in my direction.

This time, she comes after only a little hesitance, spilling onto my lap like an overlooked drink. She gets caught on the bedspread, landing with her palms on either side of my hips.

Her face is so close. I could bridge the distance between us right this second, but I don’t. My nerves are shot, and even doing this much is taking all the energy I have .

How many times have I dreamed about this moment over the last few years?

“Asher…” Her voice is a warning, low and raspy still from sleep. She glances up at me through long lashes, carefully taking me in. Uncertainty lines her irises, and I fucking hate that she’s questioning my sincerity.

Hate that I made her feel like she needed to.

“Aren’t you curious?” I ask, trying to inject some playfulness into the situation before I bust in my damn pajama pants. I’ve got to get a grip, and she needs to be eased into the idea of something more with me.

I suspect she’s still not fully awake and letting her body do the thinking. When her hands fall to my shoulders, she uses them to adjust herself on my lap, planting her knees on the outsides of my thighs.

She blinks down at where her fingers meet my bare skin. I feel each flex against me, as if she’s battling the urge to pull away and end this.

I’m trembling beneath her, but she doesn’t move. Almost like she’s frozen in place, paralyzed by the sudden shift.

“Touch me,” I urge, though I keep my own hands on the bed. “We both know you want to.”

“I…” She blows out a shaky breath, licking her lips. “I don’t know how. Where do I…”

“Anywhere, pup. Explore to your heart’s content.”

Biting her bottom lip, she slowly slides down, gliding over my pecs. My nipples tighten as she approaches, goose bumps scattering along my body like tiny time bombs, threatening to detonate the longer her hands are on me.