Page 22 of Endless Anger (Monsters Within #1)

LUCY

Aurora leans on the portable Ping-Pong table that a couple of guys have set up. “ Dean Bauer told you to drop out?”

“Not in so many words,” I say after recounting the events of this morning.

My knee trembles, bouncing lightly. It started earlier in the dean’s office and hasn’t really stopped since.

“But he suggested I might feel more at ease at a different school. Said there were ones better designed to accommodate my needs than anything in Fury Hill.”

“Your needs ?” My roommate, Celeste, scoffs as she picks a twig from her platinum-blond bob. “Do you suddenly require rare resources or something? Expensive testing accommodations?”

“I’m pretty sure that’d be discrimination on his part if she did,” Yuri, a student who moved here from Okinawa a few years back, adds, opening a convenience store cupcake with her teeth.

She glances at me, her dark brown eyes widening.

“You’ve got ADHD, right? Maybe we should bring a case against the administration. ”

“Like I need another reason to pit them against me.” My brain hurts at the thought alone, knowing they don’t fight with logic or justice but money and alienation. “Besides, if I try to do anything, my parents will join in for sure. ”

Celeste reaches into her purse, pulling out a small bottle of lotion, which she proceeds to slather over her pale pink skin. “So? Your dad is a former governor, girl, and your mom is hot as hell. Not to mention totally terrifying. You should really be using them to your advantage more.”

I have no doubt that if my mom knew even half the things that go on at Avernia, she’d have flown in months ago and packed up my room without question.

But only after spending an afternoon in the dean’s office with my father, arranging to have the school’s multibillion-dollar endowment revoked and the administrative faculty made eunuchs.

My father, who has always been totally powerless against Cora Wolfe’s chaos, would offer his full support. The accused would probably be missing before sundown if he had any say in the matter.

While on paper, that’s the kind of parenting some people would kill for, it’s always felt like more of a detriment to me. Learning to be human and interact with my peers has been enough of a struggle my whole life without adding my over-the-top parents into the mix.

I’ve never wanted people to feel like they had to be my friend or else .

Avernia was supposed to be different from Aplana, yet I’m no less of an outcast. Their involvement would make that worse.

“Poor Lucy,” Yuri mocks around bites of pastry, which are sticking to her flushed beige cheeks. “‘I have loving and supportive parents, boo-hoo. My life is so hard.’”

Without looking up, I give her the finger, and she howls with laughter. Jeez, is everyone here drunk? I take another sip of my beer, trying to catch up.

Aurora chucks a Ping-Pong ball away from herself. “Why are they even spending so much time harassing you when it’s obvious to anyone with a brain that you had nothing to do with the refectory fire?”

I track the ball’s movement as it bounces once and then sails right past the back row of red plastic cups. “Who knows? I made it onto the dean’s hit list, and that’s what matters, I guess.”

It’s easiest to punish the pariah, because no one gives a rat’s ass whether they live or die.

Even at Avernia, a university supposedly revered for championing the underdog, there’s a social hierarchy that must be adhered to.

It wouldn’t make a difference if I had an iron-clad alibi placing me in another state when the refectory fire broke out last week—since it was during a small demonstration I organized to protest drilling in the quarry.

The faculty want me to be guilty, so I am. They just can’t pin anything directly on me, so they’re trying to make me uncomfortable in the hope I’ll withdraw voluntarily.

But I don’t say that to Aurora. She wouldn’t appreciate the sentiment—or understand it. Most people around here love her because she’s outgoing and fun, so this isn’t an area she’s experienced in.

I can handle the heat. It’s not like I came here hoping to make nice with the administration.

The small crowd we’ve amassed—and by we , I mean the three of them—erupts in a fit of cheers as someone makes a point. A field hockey player named Donovan or Kerrington or something equally douchey shoves the offending beer in Aurora’s direction.

My knee still won’t stop bouncing.

“Drink up, PW,” the guy tells her, grinning wide like a literal wolf lying in wait to attack its prey.

She bats her long, thick eyelashes and lifts the cup to her lips. Several whoops of excitement echo around us, and she guzzles it down in seconds before tossing it to the opposite end of the table.

“Boys’ turn,” she announces, swiveling her attention back to me. I roll my eyes, and she giggles. “Oh, lighten up, Luce. It’s a party. We’re supposed to be having fun .”

“I hate fun.” I don’t—not really. I don’t even particularly hate parties or half the students that attend them.

Interacting with them is just not something I know how to do. It always feels like I’m trying too hard or not hard enough, and I’ve never been able to strike a balance. I’ve spent my entire life watching, absorbing, and mimicking, only to feel like a total fraud anyway .

Even now, as I drink my beer and stare at those dancing around us or reciting their top ten composers and forcing one another to strip for each incorrectly placed answer, I’m only doing so in the hopes of seeming like the rest of them.

Instead of blending, I end up on either extreme end of the spectrum and have nothing to show for it except people who are my friends because we’re related or we were forced into proximity.

If not for my room assignment with Celeste or the dates I went on last semester with Yuri, I doubt either of them would be hanging out right now.

Angry brown eyes flash in my vision for a millisecond, making my heart ache inside my chest, like a gaping wound that no one ever bothered stitching up. My mood plummets, and I shrink into myself more.

Bounce, bounce, bounce.

“Yeah, I know, but can’t you pretend?” Aurora pouts, handing me a second Ping-Pong ball. “Wanna play?”

“Not even a little bit.” I let the white sphere fall while my foot continues its assault on the ground.

“I bet you’d feel better.”

“The only reason I’m here at all is because you said you’d let me bitch about my morning.”

“And that was only if you came to lunch with me, but instead you spent the day in the library. Your punishment is unfolding, dude.”

“ Ugh .” Celeste groans, pushing to her feet and downing the rest of her drink. She doesn’t toss the cup aside though, at least. “You guys are harshing my buzz.”

“Drink more,” Yuri suggests, then points to the bong. “Or try something new?”

Celeste shakes her head. “I didn’t spend all summer at the Ren faire with my family to come back to school and not have at least one full-moon rendezvous. I’m going to get another beer and try to find someone’s mouth to ride.”

Yuri makes a face. “Don’t you mean dick? ”

“In this economy? Yeah, right.” Celeste fluffs her hair with one hand. “Avernia students should be so lucky.”

She traipses off, walking sideways, before being swallowed by the crowd. I watch until the very last piece of her blond bob is no longer visible.

Perching on the rock beside me, Aurora nods. “Go ahead then. Tell Auntie Aurora what all the mean dean said to you.”

“Cousin.” I don’t mean to correct her, but I can’t help it. Even though she’s joking.

I hate myself for it.

A chorus of boos drowns out whatever she says next as the boys’ ball flies off the table. Field Hockey Guy glares at me, running a hand over his brown crew cut.

“Maybe Lucy should go,” he tells Aurora, reaching out to stroke the side of her face. “We were winning before she came.”

Her smile deepens, but it’s not a kind one now. Not if you know her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Yuri takes a hit from the bong, averting her gaze as she coughs up clouds of smoke.

He shrugs. “Maybe her negative energy is affecting the play.”

My knee ceases moving. “Or maybe you’re not as talented as you think.”

“You boys and your silly superstitions. Your team hasn’t won a game all year, and that’s certainly not Lucy’s fault, since she never goes to them.” Aurora slides a slender hand up, hooking her index finger over his thumb, and yanks downward. The crack of bone is audible, even with the crowd.

Field Hockey Guy lets out a yelp, immediately withdrawing.

He cradles his hand to his chest, glaring as Aurora plops down beside me once more, taking her phone from her pocket and tapping away.

Her lack of attention seems to leave him irritated as he walks back to the other guys, who snicker quietly at his expense.

“ Bitch ,” he mutters, although I know it’s not aimed at her. It never is .

Exhaling, I hand my empty cup to my cousin and push off the rock, combing my fingers through my hair. “I’m going to get another drink.”

“Get me one too!” Yuri says, leaning back with her palms behind her, closing her eyes.

“The keg’s on the side where all those vehicles are, but there are coolers with good stuff in them too.

” Aurora points in the opposite direction, down the flat part of the quarry to where more jagged stone walls block off another section of the forest. “Don’t get distracted picking up empty bottles you find on the ground though. I will come find you.”

Waving her off, I make my way over the crushed rocks where the majority of the party convenes, passing a heated argument on Albert Cohen’s effects on the modern scholar. My head throbs, unable to keep interest in the debate for even a second.

Who knew college would mean so much discussion ?