Page 57 of Endless Anger (Monsters Within #1)

LUCY

Tag’s dead.

For some reason, I’m having a difficult time wrapping my brain around that tidbit.

There’s no memorial service, no formal email from the dean’s office, no flags flown at half-mast. Pythia is quiet on that front, detailing the schedule for finals and a wine tasting being held in the basement of the Apollodorus—the second largest library on campus—in a few weeks.

If not for the empty chair in Professor Ouellette’s class, I might not even believe the rumor. Yet school feels off, and I feel guilty.

“You didn’t kill him,” Quincy says, making notations in her desktop calendar. “Actually, you weren’t even around for this one, so there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Hazing takes dozens of lives across the country every year. Survival of the fittest.”

“Yeah, how many kids died when you were a student here?” Asher asks. He’s sprawled out on the sofa beside me with a copy of some manga propped open. His mere presence is too large for his sister’s cozy little office, his long legs draped over my lap.

“Well, there’s never been an official tally.” She pauses, toying with the rings on her fingers, her long black nails dark against her pale skin. “ Which is shady for multiple reasons. But there were a lot. Some were… odd , and others were pretty standard.”

Standard deaths. At school.

Yet these two were afraid of being here.

I hook my thumb in one of Asher’s shoelaces.

“It just feels really… weird that Avernia doesn’t seem at all concerned with the fact that at least three students have died since the beginning of the semester.

Dean Bauer spends more time harassing me than he does investigating, and I doubt the Fury Hill police department cares, since no founding family members have wound up dead. ”

“Yeah, that hasn’t happened since I was a student.” Quincy exhales, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, and pushes her glasses up her nose.

“Who?”

She freezes as if just realizing what she said. “Ah…no one?”

Asher looks at her from over his book. “Sounds like you killed her.”

Her?

Does he know who she’s talking about?

Quincy shakes her head. “Like you have any room to talk.”

My eyebrows shoot into my hairline, my eyes volleying between the two of them. If Noelle were here, the arguing would never stop, but these two have never been the kind to express themselves vocally. Asher likes his fists, and Quincy prefers feigned ignorance.

Their other sister, though, lives for verbal confrontation, and a part of me wonders what would happen if she did enroll here, like she was apparently threatening to earlier in the semester.

Having the three of them on the same campus would be a recipe for disaster, not to mention the attention—both negative and not—would be unbearable.

Pushing Asher’s legs off my lap, I cross my arms over my chest. “You guys are keeping secrets from me.”

“It’s nothing, Lucy, honestly.” Quincy’s dark brown eyes meet mine, a silent plea hidden in the depths. Like she wants me to drop it.

My knee starts a slow, steady rhythm. I can’t just drop it . Not when it’s death keeping me up at night while the school seems unbothered. They’re throwing galas and mixers and prepping for finals while pretending this is a good place to get an education.

“Do you believe Tag died from a hazing incident?” I ask.

Quincy blows her bangs out of her face again. “I believe it’s possible.”

“And the students before—the unexplained suicides from over the years? The disappearances? You think those are all just casualties of the college experience?”

They exchange a silent look, and it pisses me off.

“Well, if you’re not going to tell me, I’ll go figure it out on my own.” I push from the couch, but Asher grabs my wrist, halting me.

“What do you mean by that exactly?”

I shrug. “I want to know what the fuck is going on here, and I think you two know way more than you let on. I’m already aware of your family curse and the people wanting you dead. It doesn’t feel like I’m asking anything huge , yet you’re leaving things out.”

“Maybe I leave things out to keep you fucking safe,” he growls.

Quincy shifts in her chair. “Why don’t you guys?—”

“And maybe I don’t need you to do that.” Yanking my hand out of Asher’s grip, I narrow my gaze.

“Maybe storing me in the dark, where I’m completely helpless, only risks my safety more.

I mean, if you’d told me what happened all those years ago to make your sister hate it here, maybe I wouldn’t have come. ”

Asher rolls his eyes. “Yes, you would have, because you’re stubborn, and you wouldn’t have just taken our word for it.”

“Still would’ve been better than whatever you did.”

“Oh, we’re really not over that, huh?”

“ Fuck you , Asher. I don’t have to be over it just because you think I should be.”

Snapping my mouth shut, I spin on my heel and dart for the door, slipping out quickly.

My boots feel heavy as I stalk down the hall of the administration building’s second floor, but within seconds, footsteps gain on me, and Asher’s body is covering mine, pushing me into a dark alcove as he pins me to the wall .

He kisses me hard and fast, urging his thigh between my legs, applying pressure where I like it most. When he disconnects our mouths, he taps his forehead against mine, pushing stray hairs out of my face.

“Didn’t seem like that conversation was finished, pup.”

“If you aren’t going to tell me anything worthwhile, then why should I even bother?”

“Bellamy Dupont.” He says the name quickly and quietly, as if afraid someone might overhear, even though it’s the weekend and the building is practically empty. “Ring a bell?”

I shake my head.

“Okay, so then what the hell does her death even matter to you?”

“It matters because I want to know what’s going on at this school! I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind with every day that passes and another death goes unsolved. Unnoticed. Don’t you care at all, Ash? These are people. They deserve some sort of closure or justice or… something .”

Celeste’s cool gaze and Tag’s easygoing smile flash in my mind, and the weight of realization hits slowly, like a dripping faucet.

They aren’t coming back.

Ever.

People who took chances on me—they don’t get to do that anymore. I don’t get to continue relationships with them or spend my time turning down their invites to parties, picking up a menstrual cup from the campus store, or laughing internally when they say something funny or dumb or both.

They’re just…gone.

And someone here clearly wants me to believe it’s my fault.

Asher sighs. “Bellamy Dupont was that one professor’s twin sister. She disappeared under ‘mysterious circumstances’ and was never found. Officially anyway.”

“What does that mean?”

“Lucy…”

I pinch his side. “You owe me.”

Gritting his teeth, he groans under his breath, releasing me to lean against the wall. “There is a rumor that skeletal remains were found in the caves. The Tenarus entrance, specifically. They say that’s the reason the higher-ups insisted the tunnels be sealed off to the public.”

“Who spread the rumor?”

“Fuck if I know. Hearsay is a disease on this campus. Everyone thinks my sisters and I are responsible for some centuries-old feud, simply because a bunch of pompous fucks decided they wanted to pin the blame on someone. I guess kids who aren’t very attached to their namesake in Fury Hill are an easy target. ”

My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth as I consider this. If they were considered a good target for political and ethical blame, I wonder what I would look like to the powers that be.

Someone they could use to get an Anderson onto Avernia soil. The people of Fury Hill are superstitious and vindictive enough to do it, especially when they believe the girl to be a problem anyway.

The fire they all think I started—maybe framing me as the culprit was just the beginning.

“What happened when you visited Quincy when she was a student?” I ask, propping my head on the wall.

“Nothing good.” He stares straight ahead, his face impassive, though his eyes hold something distant and sinister.

A chill runs over my skin, and I inch closer, wanting to stoke the fire within rather than watch whatever follows him around silently devouring him from the inside.

He grabs my chin, forcing me to look directly into his eyes.

“I want you to know that I will do whatever I need to in order to keep you safe, Luce. Anything at all, even if it’s something that pisses you off.

You are the single most important person in my life.

But you’re right. Not telling you things doesn’t help. ”

I nod, averting my gaze from the intensity of his. There’s still a small inkling of something in the pit of my stomach that makes me feel insecure. Like abandonment is on the horizon. What would it take for him to leave again ?

“Okay,” I say, because I know it’s what he wants.

Squeezing my jaw, he moves his head so we’re making eye contact again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

This time, I don’t reply. I just stare into those warm, deep brown eyes—the eyes I fell for when we were thirteen and he gave me that wooden box to keep my dog’s ashes in.

The eyes anger fled when he was teaching me to drive and I’d stop for every critter crossing the road or get out to help them along.

Eyes that cut like shattered glass when he said he wasn’t coming to Avernia.

Shuffling my feet, I swallow. “I’m terrified that you’re lying again.”

The admission burns as it exits my mouth, but I need him to hear it. I need to say it. Otherwise, I’m afraid I won’t ever actually be able to move on. I can distract myself with a thousand other things and pretend I’m fine, but the terror will still exist.

Pain flashes in his gaze. He slides his hand behind my ear, threading his fingers through my hair, and tilts my head back. His kiss is electric, like rain and lightning mixed in one, and he spends a few minutes trying to convince me carnally.

It helps, but…

“I know there’s nothing I can say that will change your mind,” he whispers when he finally pulls away, rubbing my lip with his thumb. “But I mean it this time, okay? I’m here , by your side, forever. I’d sooner kill myself than spend another second of this godforsaken life without you.”

My heart thumps slow and hard in my chest, swelling with each word even as my brain tries to ignore them.

I love you , I want to tell him. I love you, and I know you love me, and that scares me.

If my time at this school has taught me anything, it’s that life is unpredictable and you can’t really control most of it. Humans are stupid, make poor decisions, and are painfully mortal.

There’s no guarantee .

Love is a gamble, and I’ve never been very good with odds. My brain likes structure and sure things, and this has the potential to crush me.

But instead of saying any of that, I change the subject. He’s right anyway; there is no proving an apology with words. Actions are what matter, so all I can do is try to trust that he means it.

Twisting out of his grip, I take a second to collect myself, leaning against the wall next to him. “Are you still trying to join the Curators?”

His eyes cut to me. “On paper. I think Beckett knows some things, and I’m just trying to figure out what.”

“ Well …” Sliding my hand up his arm, I squeeze his bicep, fluttering my eyelashes. “What if we both infiltrated and tried to get information from Beckett?”

“What sort of information do you want?”

I worry my bottom lip. “I think he was out there that night Celeste was killed. I think…no, I know I heard him. Maybe we could try to?—”

“No.”

“You can’t just say no.”

“Just did. Stay away from him, pup. I mean it.”

“Okay, Daddy ?—”

Spinning, he pushes me against the wall once more, this time hooking his hands under my ass and lifting me into his arms. His kisses make me dizzy, and when he glides along my jaw, tugging on the piercing in my earlobe before swooping to bite just beneath it, I cry out, heat scoring a path up my stomach.

“You start calling me Daddy, I’m going to ensure you make me one.”

My stomach flips over, and my legs turn to liquid, warmth spreading through me. “Big talk for someone who is afraid of my dad.”

“Not afraid,” he says, grinding his knee against my clit, making me see stars and planets. The whole galaxy really. “I’m respectful of my elders.”

“This conversation isn’t over, you know. Making out isn’t always going to make me forget things,” I say between breaths, still in complete astonishment that we’re at this point. It feels so natural to have progressed to this, almost as if we didn’t lose any time at all.

I find that frightening.

It will hurt much more when it inevitably crumbles.

“What if I’m just making out with you because I want to?”

Poking his nose ring, I grin. “Then carry on.”