Page 19

CHAPTER 19

FOX

“That’s it. You’re officially no longer allowed to plan our dates.”

I chuckle, hands on my hips as I stare down at the girl doubled over, her own hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. We’ve been hiking for the last hour and a half and have stopped no less than ten times. Every time, Lilah has told me I’m no longer allowed to plan our dates. Every time, I laugh because even though she’s complaining, she loves our dates.

I’ve lost track of the number of times she’s had so much fun she’s fallen asleep in my arms at this point. As much as I love having sex with her—and I really fucking love it—I love these dates and the nights she falls asleep on me even more, even if she is currently glaring at me like she’s plotting my murder.

“I thought you did Pilates.”

“I do do Pilates. This isn’t Pilates, Fox. This is torture.”

“It’s just a small hill. This is no different than walking around Seattle.”

“I don’t walk around Seattle, though. I drive or Uber for this very reason. Walking up and down hills is pure agony.”

“I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

“You’re dramatic,” she counters, rising back to her full height, her breaths still coming in fast. “Fine. Let’s get this over with. I’m starving and want a giant, greasy burger. No, wait—cheese fries. No—chicken strips.”

I lift a brow. “Are you going to order the whole menu?”

“I just might,” she says, brushing past me.

I shake my head at her, catching up easily as we continue to climb. We don’t talk much as we go, but I don’t mind. I like being out here in the woods all the same. And fine, it might have something to do with the view in front of me, Lilah’s leggings clinging to her sculpted ass.

“Stop staring at my butt!” she hollers over her shoulder when I’ve fallen behind for the tenth time when I could effortlessly be lapping her.

“Stop having such a nice butt!” I yell back.

If anyone else were out here, I’m sure they’d think we’re crazy, and I’m okay with that.

I catch up to her when she stops for another break, only this time, I don’t tease her as I have before. Instead, I pull the water from the backpack I’ve been carrying and hand it over, gulping embarrassingly loudly when she closes her lips around the same spot I’ve had mine. It’s ridiculous, given everything we’ve done with each other, yet I still find it insanely hot.

She runs the back of her hand over her mouth, then hands the water back to me, the bottle nearly empty.

“You drank it all.”

She tips her chin up. “Did not. There’s still plenty left.”

“Plenty for who? A mouse?”

She rolls her eyes. “You packed more. We both know you did.”

She’s right. I did pack more. We argued for five minutes over whether we’d need it. She insisted we’d be fine with the one bottle she was not carrying, but I remained steadfast that one wouldn’t even last us the trip up, never mind back down.

I was right.

She pushes off the tree she is resting against and resumes our hike, her pace slow and steady. This time, I don’t let her get ahead. I stay beside her, wanting to savor this last little bit of the hike. We’re nearly to our destination, and I want to see her reaction when she sees it.

“Are you ready for our party next week?” she asks.

“Are you ready for our party next week?”

“As I’ll ever be.” She tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “I’m honestly more nervous to meet your parents than anything else.”

“Don’t be. They’re going to love you. I’m sure of it.”

“I hope so,” she says, not sharing my enthusiasm.

In a surprising move, Selene actually considered my family when planning, and we were able to settle on a date that worked for everyone. Sure, it’s a Friday evening instead of the Saturday extravaganza she had originally wanted, but at least my parents will be there. The twins can’t make it, but they swear they’ll be there for the wedding. I didn’t have the heart to tell them there won’t be a wedding.

As promised, my mother has kept her word and hasn’t told anyone about Lilah’s and my…arrangement, not even my father, who was shocked by the news but excited to have a new daughter-in-law. It was torture talking to him about it because he was so genuine. I don’t think I’ve seen him that happy since Russ came home and told us all he was going to be a dad.

I’d be a fucking liar if I said I was looking forward to the party. I’m not, but not because I have to endure another evening with Lilah’s horrid family or wear a suit and fake an engagement. It’s because it’s been slowly tearing me up to continue to lie to everyone I love. My father, my siblings, my teammates who are like siblings—everyone. It’s one thing to do it for a few minutes at a party here or a conversation there, but to deceive them all on such a large scale? It makes my stomach churn.

“Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” I ask, turning to find Lilah staring at me with pinched brows. “What?”

“You look like you’re about to vomit. Do we need to slow down?”

She asks that last question a little too eagerly.

I shake my head. “Nah, I’m good. Just hungry.”

But it’s a lie, and that makes me feel bad too. She’s the one person I don’t want to lie to, but I feel like I have to. She can’t know the truth, or I’ll lose everything, and I’m not ready for that just yet.

“Holy shit!”

“ Ooof! ” Lilah’s arm smacks me right in the stomach, and I double over at the sudden pain.

Then I realize why she’s freaking out. We’ve reached the end of the trail, and the view is?—

“It’s breathtaking,” she whispers, her eyes wide as she takes in the waterfall across from us.

I step up next to her. “Worth it, right?”

She sniffs and shrugs, trying to play it cool. “Yeah, I guess.”

But I can see in her eyes she’s just as amazed as I am. We stand there quietly in the early March morning. The sun is covered by clouds, fog swirling around the trees, and water rushes down the cliffside across from us. It’s beautiful, one of the prettiest sights I’ve ever taken in. Yet somehow, none of it compares to the woman standing beside me.

I rake my gaze over her, taking in every inch, from her dark hair that’s sticking out chaotically from under her hat to her azure eyes that are brimming with tears, over her pert nose and those damn pink lips of hers that say the damnedest things.

I love you.

The three words filter through my mind in the same way they have been for the last few weeks. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but it was probably on one of those evenings when we were snuggled together on her couch as she tucked her feet beneath my leg and read to me from the other end until we both drifted off to sleep.

I’ve done the dumbest thing I could think of doing. I’ve fallen for my fake fiancée.

With any luck, she’ll fall for me too.

“I’m going to order the biggest, juiciest chicken sandwich ever.”

“I thought you were getting a burger, cheese fries, and chicken strips.”

“Oooh, you’re right. A burger does sound good.” She taps her chin. “Maybe I should get both. Or wait! You get one, I get the other. Then we can split it. Yeah, let’s do that.”

I laugh. “Do I get a say in this?”

“Nope.” She bumps her shoulder against mine, then twines our fingers together.

I fully believe her, and the craziest part is I’d do whatever she asks.

Our trek back down to the truck is much easier, Lilah only stopping three times instead of ten. She seems much happier than on our hike up, and I’m unsure if that’s because of the gorgeous waterfall or if she’s just that excited for food. Either way, I love every moment of it.

When we finally get to the truck, Lilah runs ahead, the bouncing pom on her beanie just too damn cute for words.

“Come on! Feed me!” she calls, waving me over.

I chuckle the whole way there. “You act like you didn’t eat a stack of pancakes and hash browns and steal half of my bacon for breakfast.”

“Hey, this is your fault. You’re the one who kept me up late last night, burning extra calories.”

“I didn’t see you complaining while my head was between your legs.”

She bites at her bottom lip. “No, I most certainly was not complaining about that.”

I toss the backpack into the truck bed, then pull open the door for her. She stands there, looking at the truck like it’s the most offensive thing in the world.

“Would you like a lift?” I ask with a chuckle.

She nods. “My legs are noodles, and my feet are killing me.”

I lift her effortlessly, placing her on the passenger seat before dragging my hands down her legs and untying her boots, which look brand new. I wonder if she bought them just for this.

“Ahhh,” she says as I pull the first one off. She tugs off her adorable hat, shaking out her hair. It’s a total mess from the friction, but she still looks perfect. “That feels much better.”

“You should have told me you weren’t a hiker. I could have planned something else.”

She shrugs. “You were so excited about it.”

“Yeah, but I want you to enjoy our dates too, you know.”

“I do. I like doing anything with you. Even if it is hiking.”

I don’t know why her words make my chest feel heavy, but they do. Maybe it’s because I know she doesn’t mean them in the way I hope she does. Or maybe it’s because I’m kind of mad at myself for getting into this situation to begin with. I knew going in that I was lonely, that I was open to something more, but I swore I wouldn’t let this turn into something bigger than what it was.

Yet here I am, completely in love with her, our engagement party days away, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest every time she looks at me. All the while, to Lilah, this is still completely fake.

“Hey,” she says softly, tipping my chin up to her. “Are you okay?”

I nod. “Yeah. Sorry. Just got distracted trying to get these laces loose. Who tied these?”

“I did.” She looks so proud that I can’t help but smile. “What?”

“You’re cute, you know that?”

She looks surprised, then grins back, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I know.”

Her confidence is so hot that I can’t help but kiss her. She’s so shocked by the sudden move that it takes her a moment to react, but then she kisses me back eagerly, her hands sliding into my hair as she pulls me closer. Before I know it, we’re hanging out the side of my truck, her legs wrapped around my waist, my cock pressing against my jeans, Lilah rocking her hips into me.

She pulls away, gulping in air. “Back seat,” she instructs through her pants.

“I thought you wanted food,” I say—stupidly, because it is stupid to try to stop this right now.

Apparently, she agrees, kissing my jaw. “I found something else I want more.”

Her words have me moving quickly. I tuck my arm under her ass and hold her up as I wrench open the back door, tucking us both inside. She sits in my lap, hands back in my hair as her lips find mine again.

“Why didn’t you say hiking makes you horny?”

I chuckle. “Because I’m pretty sure you’re the first person in the existence of the world to think that.”

“Whatever,” she mutters, kissing her way from my lips to my ear, nipping at my lobe, then moving back again. “Now take your pants off.”

My truck is big, but it’s not exactly two-people-in-the-back-seat-fucking big. Even so, I’m a determined man and somehow manage to wrestle my jeans down just enough, Lilah now sitting in my naked lap.

“Now yours,” I tell her, hands already pulling at her puffy jacket, shoving it off her shoulders as she pushes up, working her leggings off.

There’s nothing skilled or sexy about it, but it somehow makes it even hotter. We groan as she sinks down onto my cock, my hands on her hips as she settles there, adjusting to me.

“I don’t think I’ll ever tire of that,” she says, moving her hips ever so slightly.

Don’t , I beg silently. Don’t tire of it. Don’t tire of me.

Instead, I say, “Me either, sugar.”

I lean forward, dragging my tongue over her neck as she gasps at the new angle.

“Arthur.” She moans my name into my ear. “You feel so good.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“Then do it.”

I laugh, but it turns into a groan as she squeezes me. “You feel so fucking good, Lilah. Love the way you take me.”

She nods, her eyes screwed shut, hands on the ceiling of the truck as I fuck up into her. Sweat slides down my back under the layers of clothes I’m still wearing, and the windows fog from our hot breaths. If someone else were to pull into this parking lot right now, they’d know exactly what we were doing, yet somehow, I don’t care. I don’t care because this beautiful woman is bouncing on my cock, and it feels so fucking good that I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to, and I definitely don’t want to.

“I’m so close,” she murmurs. “Help me, Fox. Get me there.”

“Anything,” I tell her, meaning it wholeheartedly, and I’m not just referring to getting her off. I mean anything . I’d do it all for her. All she has to do is ask.

But in the meantime, I reach between us, pressing my thumb to her clit as she gets herself off on me. Apparently, it’s exactly what she needs.

“Yes! God, yes!” she cries out, her hands going from the truck ceiling to my shoulders as she quickens her pace.

Seconds later, she’s coming, her body shaking over mine, her breath in my ear. I grip her hips, driving into her, wringing out the last of her orgasm and chasing my own high, and she shudders all over again when I finally spill into her. Spent, I pull my hand from between our bodies and suck my thumb into my mouth, savoring the taste of her. She grins against my neck.

“What?” I ask.

“I like that you like how I taste.”

“I don’t like how you taste, Lilah. I fucking love it. Could spend a lifetime tasting you.”

She snuggles against me closer, her face buried in my neck. And even though we really should be cleaning ourselves up right now, I allow it because, truthfully, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be, including the rink.

“I lied earlier,” she says after several minutes of me simply holding her, running my fingertips over her back in featherlight touches.

“About what?”

“My legs. Now they’re like noodles.” She kisses my neck softly. “Thank you for another great date, Fox.”

I swallow the sudden lump clogging my throat. I don’t know where it came from or why. Maybe it’s because I just realized these dates of ours will be coming to an end after Thursday, when there’s no longer any reason for us to have them. It’s the last thing I want, but it’s what I promised, and I’m nothing if not a man of my word.

So, I hug her closer, savoring every moment I can get for now.

“Any time, Lilah.” I kiss the side of her head. “Any time.”

“My baby!” My mother throws her arms around my neck and pulls me into a hug like she hasn’t seen me for two years instead of a few months. Her graying hair is pulled back in a half updo and she’s wearing a sweater that says Mama Bear on it. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, Mama.” I kiss her cheek. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to pick you up at the airport.”

“Oh, nonsense. I know you have a busy schedule. Besides, we got to do some sightseeing, and your father convinced me to go up in that giant needle thing.”

“The Space Needle is kind of neat, huh?”

“No, it was a waste of eighty bucks.”

I grin, having expected nothing less from her. “How was the flight?”

“Amazing! But you have to stop spoiling us with first-class tickets. A gal like me could get used to that real fast.”

“And that’s the last thing my wallet needs,” my dad says with a hearty laugh. He steps up to us, putting his hand on my mother’s shoulder. “Let the kid go, sweetheart.”

My mother huffs, but she does as my father requests. He takes her place and hugs me just as tightly as she did, the smell of fresh cut wood from his workshop reminding me of home.

“Good to see you, son. Did you see how much parking is at the airport? Thought I was going to have to cut off an arm and a leg for it.”

“You guys didn’t even drive to the airport.”

“Still highway robbery, if you ask me.”

“Oh, who cares about the parking, Roy. Is your fiancée here?”

It’s funny because, like Selene, my mother emphasizes fiancée . However, unlike Selene, the word is filled with pure love and adoration, and she hasn’t even met Lilah yet.

“She is. Did you want to come in or meet her at the door?”

“In, in!” She stomps her feet like a giddy child, and I can’t help but laugh. I love that even though she knows the truth, she’s not treating Lilah any differently than she would one of my siblings’ partners.

I move aside, helping my father pull their bags inside. When I look up, my mother is gone. My dad notices, too.

He grins over at me. “That’s your mother.”

“Don’t remind me,” I mumble, taking off toward the kitchen where I have no doubt she currently is.

As I expected, she’s standing in the middle of the room, her arms wrapped tightly around Lilah. What I didn’t expect was to love seeing them together so much. My fiancée hugs my mother back, her head resting on the older woman’s shoulder, eyes closed like every childhood trauma is being healed in this moment. And for Lilah, that might actually be true.

I love you.

The words rattle against my chest again, wanting to be set free, but I lock them back where they belong, in the recesses of my mind for nobody else but me.

“Hey, now. I want my turn,” my dad says, interrupting them.

My dad replaces my mother, hugging Lilah like she’s part of the family and not someone he’s literally just met.

“Great to meet you, sweetheart,” my dad says, his accent thick on the last word. “I’m looking forward to getting to know the woman who finally got my kid to settle down so his mother can stop driving me nuts with worry that he’s going to end up alone.”

Lilah pulls away with a smile. “It’s so great to meet you. Arthur has told me so much about you.”

My mother looks at me, surprised. She knows how I feel about my first name. Hell, I complained to her about it enough when I was a kid. So she knows Lilah’s casual use of it means something big.

We’ll talk about this later , her gaze says, matching my own.

I nod at her in response, promising her just that.

“What would you like to drink with dinner?” Lilah asks them, turning to the cabinet where I keep my cups like it’s second nature to her. We’ve spent an equal amount of time at my place as we have hers, so I guess it might be at this point. “We’re just about done if you’d like to drop your bags and get comfortable.”

“A beer, if you have it,” my dad requests.

“And iced tea for you, Mama?”

She pats my shoulder as I pass by her. “You know me so well, son.”

We shoo my parents from the kitchen, sending them away to get comfortable in my bedroom while Lilah and I finish making dinner—a simple meal of grilled chicken with a balsamic vinaigrette glaze, roasted rosemary red potatoes, and freshly chopped carrots. It was all Lilah’s idea to make it. She wanted to impress them. I tried telling her it wasn’t necessary, but she insisted.

“You’re doing this big thing for me, Fox. Let me do this for you.”

It was my shot to tell her the truth again, but I couldn’t do it. So, I just nodded, helped her grocery shop, and now here we are, playing house with my parents in the other room.

“They’re just like I imagined,” Lilah says as she flips the chicken breast in the cast-iron skillet. I push the carrots around in the pan next to her. “You look just like your mom.”

“I’ve heard that a lot. I’ve never really been sure if I should take it as a compliment. You know, since she’s a woman and all.”

“Oooh. You should grow your hair out more. It’ll be sexy.”

I slide behind her, and I love how her breath stutters the second I do. “Are you saying I’m not already sexy?”

She rests back against me. “I think we both already know I think you’re sexy, Fox.”

“I don’t. Tell me.”

She abandons the chicken, turning around to place her arms around my neck as my hands settle on her waist.

“You’re sexy, Fox. I like your eyes and how they remind me of my favorite chocolate bar.” She presses up on her tiptoes, kissing right beside my eye.

“The one with the crispies in it?”

“That’s the one.” She grins, then kisses the tip of my nose. “I like your nose, especially the scar on the bridge.”

“Got that from Russ. He hit me with one of Regan’s Barbies because I ate his last Pop-Tart.”

“What flavor?”

“Brown sugar.”

“Totally valid, then.” She kisses the corner of my mouth. “I like your lips too, especially all the dirty things they say.”

“Like when I say”—I brush her hair behind her ear, then lean in close—“if we were alone right now, I’d spread you out on this counter and eat your pretty pink pussy until you made a mess all over my face, then I’d lick that little hole of yours I haven’t yet gotten to taste until you were begging for my cock?”

She gulps. “Yes, like that.”

I laugh darkly. “Anything else?”

“Definitely that Southern drawl. It doesn’t come out often, but when it does, it’s good.”

“I’ll try to remember that, sugar.”

She groans, dropping her head against my shoulder when I use the exact accent she’s talking about. “Stop it. It’s not fair. You know that does things to me and we’re not alone.”

“Sorry, not sorry, sugar.”

She pinches me for that one, then pulls away, her eyes finding mine. “You.”

I cock my head to the side. “Me?”

She nods. “Your personality. Your kindness. Your good heart.” She lays her palm over my chest. “Such a good heart. The best one ever, maybe.”

It’s yours , I want to say. It’s yours if you want it, Lilah.

“Fox, I?—”

“Oh my goodness!”

My parents come barreling into the kitchen and we spring apart like we’ve been caught doing something we shouldn’t. What was Lilah about to say? Was she thinking the same thing I was? Could she want this to be real too?

“You have turtle hand towels in your bathroom!”

“That would be my doing, Mrs. Fox,” Lilah says, pouring her a glass of iced tea, the special gallon of sweet I got just for her. She’d kill me if I tried to serve her anything without sugar.

“Mrs. Fox.” My mother laughs with a shake of her head. “There’s no need for formalities, sweetheart. You can call me Bonnie or Mama. Your choice.”

A look I haven’t seen before crosses Lilah’s features: longing. I know instantly what it is she’s yearning for, and it’s the familial love my mother is offering her with open arms.

“Anyway,” my mother says. “Did you know our boy here made it his life’s mission to save the turtles when he was younger? Cutest thing ever.”

“Bold endeavor, too,” my father says as Lilah hands him a beer from the fridge. “He probably brought home at least twenty of those suckers through the years before we finally put a stop to it. Now he’s got a hundred figurines instead.”

“And now even more.” Lilah tosses me a wink. She’s given me no less than six since she first learned of my collection. I’d never tell my parents or siblings, but the ones from her are my favorite.

We settle at the kitchen table, our plates full of good food.

“I hope you like everything,” Lilah says, lifting her mug of lemonade to her lips.

“I’m sure we will. It looks great,” my mother says, my father already digging into the meal, his mouth full as he nods along with her. She points with her fork to the mug in Lilah’s hand. “Did we take the last of your cups?” She looks to me. “Do you only have two proper glasses, Artie?”

“Oh.” Lilah’s shoulders tighten, and I can see the worry that settles into her eyes. “Um, no. I just prefer to drink out of a mug.”

My mother laughs. “I love that. I always eat my ice cream out of a mug. There’s just something about it that makes it taste better. Don’t ask me why. I’m pretty sure it’s science.”

That same longing look from earlier creeps back in as Lilah’s shoulders settle. She and my mother discuss different flavors of ice cream while my father sits by quietly, shoveling his meal into his mouth. I sit back, and I fall even more in love with Lilah than I already have.

After dinner, my father does the dishes, insisting on it since we cooked, and we relax in the living room with my mother, who is still gabbing with Lilah like they’re old friends. Lilah’s hand sits on my leg the entire time, my own curled around the back of her neck. It’s easy. Comfortable. Right.

Eventually, my mother yawns, and my father stands.

“That’s my cue,” he says, helping my mother from her spot on the couch. “Come on, BonBon. Let’s get you to bed.”

“That’s a lovely idea.” She holds her arms out.

I look to Lilah. “That’s our cue.”

She laughs as we stand, my mother wrapping Lilah into her arms first.

“I can’t wait to hang out with you again tomorrow,” my mother tells her sincerely.

“You’ll have to tell me more about Arthur’s treehouse adventures.”

“You bet, sweetheart.” My mother pats her cheek before moving to me, that familiar perfume of hers that I swear she’s been wearing all my life tickling my nose. “Thank you for bringing us here.”

“Any time, Mama.”

“I like her, Arthur,” she says quietly so only I can hear. “She’s a keeper.”

She is a keeper, and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to keep her, want to make her mine for real. And with our engagement party so close, I’m losing the chance to make it happen.

My parents retire to my room, and Lilah and I take turns getting ready in the hall bathroom before slipping beneath the sheets of the temporary bed I’ve set up in my spare bedroom. Lilah rests her head on my chest like she’s done so many nights before, and I hold her close, hoping she can’t hear my heart beating wildly, which always seems to be the case these days.

“Your parents are wonderful, Fox,” she says into the dark room, and there’s no denying the emotion packed behind each of those words.

“They are, aren’t they?”

She nods, then sighs. “I’m…I’m sorry this can’t be real for them.”

I’m sorry, too.

But I don’t say that. I can’t bring myself to do it.

So, I press my lips to her forehead. “Good night, sugar.”

“Night, Arthur.”

Lilah falls asleep first, while I stay awake late into the night, unable to stop thinking of how I’m going to tell her the truth about how I feel.