Page 13

CHAPTER 13

LILAH

I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this at all. I want to be anywhere else but here right now.

No. That’s not true. Not anywhere . I know exactly where I’d rather be right now: back in Fox’s bed, snuggled up next to him after the best orgasms of my life.

That’s where I wish I were instead of at an entirely too fancy restaurant I don’t want to be at for a lunch date with the Wicked Witch of the West. But here I am anyway, in a dress my mother brought to my apartment after she showed up unannounced to “ensure my attendance,” as if I was going to bail or something. I sit with my hands in my lap as she lays into the poor server because they dared to offer her red instead of white wine. I don’t understand why she’s bitching—we both know she’s going to drink a bottle of both.

I check my phone while she’s distracted, hoping for a message from Fox, but there’s nothing. He’s late, and I hate that he’s late. Not because I care—I get it, his schedule is a bit insane—but because it means I have to endure all this with my mother alone with no buffer. And because I would have liked to see him, even if only for a moment before coming in here.

We haven’t had much chance to talk since our date at his house, which ended in a marathon of sex that I can still feel even days later. I was one hundred percent teasing him the first time I suggested sex. The second? I meant it, though I didn’t even realize I did when I first said it. He just looked so upset about his game, and I remembered him saying it’s how he usually relaxes, and I don’t know…I wanted to be that for him. I wanted to help him.

Oh, who am I kidding? I just wanted him.

I don’t know when exactly that happened, but all the little things suddenly added up. Him taking me home on New Year’s, bringing me ibuprofen and a greasy breakfast the morning after, standing up for me at the party, making me nachos because he knew I loved them… So many little things turned into one big thing, and I gave in to everything I was feeling. He told me to take what I wanted, so I did.

Nobody has ever let me be in charge like that before. It’s like Fox knew that was what I wanted, what I needed . And he didn’t judge me. He just let me be me. I wish he were here so I could thank him for that.

“Your fiancé is late,” my mother says as if I don’t know that the whole reason we’re having this lunch isn’t present.

“His hockey schedule keeps him very busy. When you decided to set this lunch for today, I warned you that he might run late due to it.”

My mother called the morning after Fox and I slept together and demanded we be here for lunch. It didn’t matter to her that Fox had practice before his game tonight. It was what she wanted, and because Fox is who he is, he accommodated her, even when I tried to shut her down.

“Right. Hockey. Such a violent game.” She says it with such disgust. Maybe if she knew how hard he worked or all the sacrifices he’s made for it, she’d appreciate it more, but knowing her, she wouldn’t. So I don’t bother with trying to explain it to her. “And what have you decided to do with your life, dear? Are you going to be a hockey wife? Isn’t that what Auden gave up her company to do?”

I bite my tongue—literally—because we both know Auden has done so much more with her life than my mother is giving her credit for and shrug. “I’m not sure. I’m still trying to figure things out since she sold Sinclair Properties.”

“That was a terrible deal she took. She could have made so much more money had she held out for a bit longer and didn’t take the first thing she was offered.”

“It wasn’t about the money, Mother. She already had enough when she decided to sell. It was about finally putting down roots.”

“Right. Because that father of hers moved her around so often. What kind of man raises a child like that?”

A damn good one is what I want to say, but I don’t get the chance. Fox comes barreling into the restaurant, drawing several heads his way, mine included.

He looks good. I’ve seen him in a suit a few times now, and they always look perfectly tailored to him, but I like something about this simple side of him even more. His slacks are pressed neatly, and he wears a soft blue sweater, a collared shirt underneath. He looks preppy, like a frat boy playing dress-up, and normally, I wouldn’t be attracted to it at all, but I am. I am so beyond attracted to it that I can’t look away. Those brown eyes of his that I looked right into as he fucked me so hard my legs shook for ten straight minutes after find mine, and he smiles.

My mother follows my line of sight, looking pleasantly surprised.

“Well, he cleans up nicely. I’ll give him that,” she says as if he wasn’t wearing a suit the last time she saw him. Further proof that nothing will ever truly please her.

She stands when he approaches the table, but he doesn’t stop to greet her. No, he passes right by her and sweeps me into his arms, pressing his lips to mine in a chaste yet searing kiss. I’m not proud to admit that I’m out of breath when he pulls away.

“Hi,” he says simply, that all-too-familiar smile pulling at his lips.

“Hi yourself,” I say back, my own grin that I can’t seem to get rid of when it comes to him firmly on my face.

He sets me back on my feet and finally turns to my mother. “Selene,” he says, just a hint of that Southern drawl of his coming out as he takes her hand and kisses the back of her knuckles. “It’s wonderful to see you again.”

She looks momentarily affronted but soon melts under his grin. “Arthur, I’m so glad you could make it.”

“I apologize for being late.” He holds the back of her chair as she settles back into it, then slides it forward. “Practice ran a bit longer than expected.”

“Oh, that’s quite all right,” my mother says as if she wasn’t just complaining about his profession minutes ago.

Fox strides back to me, pulling my chair out just like he did my mother’s. Only when he slides my chair toward the table, his hand brushes against the back of my neck, a reminder of the way he held me to him as he spilled down my throat the last time I saw him.

I waited for the morning after our night of sex to turn awkward, but it never did. If anything, it helped make things easier between us. We weren’t pretending not to be attracted to one another anymore.

Fox settles into the chair beside me, his thigh pressing against mine —did someone turn up the heat in here? —and I swear he scoots his chair even closer.

“I’ve already ordered some starters and a bottle of wine,” my mother announces.

“Unfortunately, I’ll have to stick with water for this lunch. I have a game to play tonight.”

My mother hums disapprovingly, lifting her half-empty glass of sauvignon blanc to her lips. “Well, more for me, then. Lilah, you should probably cut back, yeah? You were such a chunky little girl. I know you swell up easily. You don’t want to be puffy for the wedding.”

Embarrassment floods me. Is she seriously doing this right now? In front of Fox? Ugh. I can’t imagine what he thinks of all this. Does he think I’m weak, letting her talk to me like that? Or worse, does he agree with her?

Fox’s hand finds the back of my neck again, massaging it, requesting my attention, and I turn to him. There’s no judgment in his eyes, but there is something else, something I can’t entirely place my finger on. It feels familiar but out of reach.

“Just in case I forget to tell you later, you look stunning, Lilah.”

I’m taken right back to the last time he said those words to me when I was sitting on his countertop in nothing but my bra.

“Thank you,” I tell him, pretending my cheeks aren’t on fire right now.

I peek over at my mother. She watches us with hard eyes, and I can’t tell if she’s pissed that I didn’t take her bait like she hoped or if she’s looking for a crack in our facade. Truthfully, I don’t think she will find one because even I’m struggling to.

She reaches into the oversized purse hanging off the back of her chair. “I’ve brought along your grandmother’s ring. It’s about time I was able to give this to you. I thought you might never settle down.”

I ignore her jab as she reveals a giant brown box. As a child, I was told countless times not to touch it. She flips the lid open, and there sits the ring I’m supposed to wear. It’s just as gaudy as I remember it being. I reach for it and barely manage to pull my finger away before my mother snaps it closed.

“I’d like Arthur to give it to you.”

“Oh, sure,” Fox says. “I can do that.”

“ Properly ,” my mother says, brow arched.

Properly? Does she mean… Oh god.

“What? Mother, no. That’s?—”

“It only seems right, Lilah Jane, since he proposed the first time with no ring. Don’t you want a lovely story for your children one day? Or would you rather tell them about how their father proposed without a plan or a ring?”

None of those things. I don’t want to tell my future children any of that because I don’t even know if I want children. But saying that would open a whole new can of worms I’m not interested in discussing right now.

“Your mother is right, Lilah.”

I swing my head toward Fox. “She is?”

He nods, leaning close to me. “You deserve a proper proposal. Let me give you one.”

I want to scream, tell him this isn’t a proper proposal because it’s not real, but that would ruin everything. So, I nod.

Fox pushes his chair back and takes the box from my mother’s hand. She looks smug as if this is the smoking gun that will blow our whole con to bits. But I guess she’s not betting on how good of a man Fox is.

He holds the garish box in his hands, running his fingers over it before taking a deep breath and dropping to his knee before me. I look around the fancy restaurant. Everyone stares at us, captivated by what’s happening, having no clue we’re playing the ultimate game of charades.

I pull my chair out to face him, trying to tell him with my eyes, You don’t have to do this.

All the while, his say, Let me do this for you.

“Fox, I?—”

“Lilah Jane Maddison,” he announces loudly, his voice booming above mine, silencing my protests. “I fell in love with you on our first date.”

I roll my lips together, trying to hide my smile because I know as well as he does our first date was just days ago.

“You were radiant, sitting atop that donkey eating a footlong corn dog you had dipped in chowder,” he says, his eyes dancing with laughter, that smile I’ve come to love so much teasing the edge of his lips. “I knew then that our love was the kind you hear about in fairy tales.”

I don’t dare peek at my mother because I know I’ll lose it.

“I wasn’t looking for forever, but that’s exactly what I found in you. You…” His eyes soften, the humor in them dying out, and it’s so sudden that my throat tightens as I stare down at him. “You brought something into my life I didn’t know I was missing.”

Something in his voice begins to change, quiets, and the rest of the room fades away. It’s just us now: Fox on one knee, holding my hand and peering into my eyes, which are beginning to sting.

“You’re brilliant and kind and beautiful. And your wit might be my favorite thing about you. You make me laugh and smile. And you make me really, really damn happy. It would be an absolute honor to be your husband. So, what do you say, Lilah? Will you marry me?”

My throat burns, and it’s hard to find air. I don’t know what I expected from this, but it certainly wasn’t that. It wasn’t just Fox calling me brilliant or beautiful. No. It was more. It was the rawness in his voice when he said I was what he was missing because it sounded so real. Like he truly was missing something.

It reminds me of his confession that it’s nice to have someone. Is Fox lonelier than I thought? Does this mean more to him than he’s letting on?

“Well, Lilah?” my mother asks, pulling my attention, and I look over to find even she has tears in her eyes. “Answer the man!”

I turn back to Fox, who is staring up at me expectantly, waiting as patiently as ever.

“Yes, Fox,” I say quietly, praying he doesn’t hear the shakiness in my voice. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He blows out a relieved breath, perfectly playing the part of a worried boyfriend.

“She said yes!” he exclaims, and the rest of the restaurant cheers.

Fox opens the box, revealing the hideous ring he can’t help but widen his eyes at. He gingerly tugs it from the silk-lined holder and slips it over my finger while I try not to wince at the sight of it. Once upon a time, when I was a very little girl and had much different thoughts about love and marriage, I dreamed of a ring. This thing? It’s nothing like what I wanted. A hundred tiny diamonds surround a squared, four-carat diamond in the center. Inside the band are four smaller stones, two on each side, resembling rubies.

If this were an alternate reality in which I actually wanted a ring on my finger, it would be something simple and nothing as extravagant as this. But this isn’t an alternate reality. This is my reality, my future, if I don’t find the courage to stand up to my parents.

“That was lovely, Arthur,” my mother says as he presses his lips to my cheek, then resumes his spot next to me. “What do you think of the ring? Gorgeous, isn’t it?”

He smiles at her, and if I didn’t know him better—which I definitely do—I’d believe it was genuine. “It’s lovely, Selene.”

She lifts her glass, grinning at him over the rim, seemingly pleased with his answer. “Now that that’s out of the way, we should discuss your engagement party.”

“Our what ?!”

My outburst has many people looking our way.

“Keep your voice down, dear,” my mother says, her eyes narrowing. “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. We hosted one for your sister. We’ll do the same for you.”

Ah, yes. Sadie’s engagement party. How could I forget? I got caught making out with one of her fiancé’s friends in the bathroom. If I think about it, it was the catalyst that set my parents off on this You need to settle down mission they’ve been on.

“Perhaps you’ll keep your clothes on at this one,” she says, taking another pull from her glass and emptying it in record time.

I glance over at Fox, whose brows are raised. I shrug, and he grins, giving me a subtle headshake, but there’s no judgment in his eyes. I mentally add that to the list of things I like about him. He doesn’t hold my past against me, which I certainly can’t say for my mother.

A server appears, refilling my mother’s glass as she asks, “What do we think about the spring? That’s a lovely time to host a party.”

“Mother, I?—”

“I think the spring is nice,” Fox agrees with her.

“Wonderful. We’ll plan the party for then. I’ll get my assistant on it, and we can get the invitations out ASAP. Hopefully, people will RSVP, even with such short notice.” She gives us a pointed look. “Now, would you like white or off-white linen?”

That’s how we spend the rest of the lunch, planning my upcoming engagement party with my fake fiancé, whom I’m now sleeping with.

How could this possibly get any worse?

“That was…something.”

I glare at Fox, though I’m not sure why.

Scratch that. I know exactly why.

“ I think the spring is nice. Really, Fox? That’s what you say to her?”

He winces. “I was just trying to be nice.”

“Stop being so nice!”

It comes out louder than intended. I think.

Honestly, I don’t know at this point. Maybe I mean it. Maybe I want him to stop being so nice, calm, accommodating, and helpful. I want him to tell me this is too much because it is too much.

But he won’t. I know he won’t.

“Is that what you really want?” he asks quietly, navigating toward my apartment because of course he offered to drive me home after my mother, who insisted I ride there with her, decided she had better things to do than take me back home.

“No,” I say, just as quietly. “I love that you’re nice, Fox. It’s my favorite thing about you. I just… Isn’t this going too far? First a proposal and now a party?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? But what else are we supposed to do? Tell her no? I have a feeling she wouldn’t take that so well and would call us on our bullshit. You want this to work, right?”

I do want this to work. It’s been nice not having my mother call and berate me for a change. Sure, now she’s going to be calling about party planning, but that I can deal with. I love planning. It’s everything else that I don’t love. Lying to people I care about, like Auden, who I’ve barely spoken to out of fear of blurting out how all of this is fake.

“Yes, I want this to work.”

“Then we’ll do it. Party and then we’ll break up. You can dump me after the engagement party. No harm, no foul, except to your parents’ pocketbook.”

He’s all smiles, but my stomach turns at the thought. Not of my parents—I couldn’t care less about that—but of breaking up with him. That was the plan all along, but having a timeline now makes it feel so much more real.

“What about your family? What are you going to tell them about all this?” For the first time since we started this whole thing, he looks panicked by my question. “Will you let them believe we’re actually engaged, or will you lie to them too?”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I hadn’t really thought about them in this whole thing.”

No, I’m sure he didn’t. We didn’t think any of this through.

“We need to call it off.”

He looks over at me, brows raised. “Are you serious?”

Shit. Am I serious? Do I want to stop this and go back to my parents trying to set me up? Go back to having them look at me completely disappointed instead of just mildly so? I hate that my answers are no and no. I hate that while I should call it off, there’s a good chance I won’t because I’m being that selfish right now.

I groan. “This wasn’t supposed to be this stressful.”

Fox reaches over, his hand landing on my thigh, and I like the weight of it far too much.

He squeezes me reassuringly. “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure it all out. If it makes you feel any better, my parents would one hundred percent laugh about this whole thing.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely. They have three raucous kids. Nothing would surprise them at this point.”

“Even a fake engagement?”

“Regan pretended to be dating a boy for three years before coming out as a lesbian. I think a fake engagement wouldn’t faze them one bit.”

“Three years?”

“Yeah. They moved in together and everything.”

“That’s…”

“Fucking crazy? I know, but she was scared. What’s funny is that it was completely unnecessary because when she finally confessed and came out, my parents didn’t care one bit. We joke about it all the time now.” He squeezes my thigh again. “This’ll just be another story we bring up at holiday gatherings for the next, oh, ten to twenty years.”

That makes me feel marginally better, but I still don’t feel right lying to everyone we know and love.

“I think we should tell Auden.”

Fox peeks over at me, brows raised. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I feel horrible lying to her. She should know.”

“All right. Then we’ll tell her.”

“Hutch will know, too, then. They tell each other everything.”

He grimaces at that but nods. “Okay.”

There’s a small part of me that’s irritated he’s being so accommodating yet again, but it’s squashed the second he tightens his hand on my thigh, his grip having slid two inches higher without me noticing. My dress is bunched up dangerously high. If I were to move at all, I’d practically be flashing him.

Fox must notice, too, because I swear the air in the car shifts. We’re both very aware of our close quarters and what happened the last time we were alone together. I don’t know about him, but I damn sure felt relaxed afterward. I could use more of that right now, and I’m betting he could too.

“Are you ready for your game today? Are you feeling…relaxed?”

He swallows hard. “I could be…more relaxed.”

The double entendre of our words is loud and clear, so it’s no surprise that when Fox parks his car in front of my apartment building, he follows me inside without a word. The second my door is closed, he grabs me around the waist, tugging me against him and pressing his lips to mine in a hard kiss. It reminds me of the one in the restaurant, only this time, there’s no one here to witness it. This kiss is all ours. It’s not for show.

It’s real .

Pressing my back against the door, he kisses me until I’m a breathless, panting mess. Even then, he doesn’t stop. He just drags his lips lower, trailing them over my chin and my neck and right down to the top of the dress that just kisses my collarbones.

“This dress covers too much of you,” he complains. “I want more.”

“Then take it off.”

With quick fingers, he unsnaps the buttons that come all the way up to my throat, his mouth following along with each flick of his wrist. He drags his tongue over my stomach, and the cool air that chases after the warmth sends shivers down my spine.

When he reaches the end of the buttons, he drops to his knees, bunching the skirt of the dress around my waist. His head disappears under it, and he picks up right where he left off. He doesn’t stop, not even when he reaches my simple white cotton thong. No, he simply fits his mouth over me—through my underwear and everything—and licks.

“Holy…”

It’s all I’m able to get out because I can only concentrate on him feathering his tongue against me, the material between us creating a deliciously playful barrier that makes this all that much hotter.

“Fuck,” he says, his lips brushing against me. “I missed the taste of you.”

I nod even though it’s not a question because I missed this too, which is ridiculous if you think about it. We’ve had no business missing this at all, yet here we are, pawing at one another like we’re unable to control ourselves.

Fox grabs my hand, bringing it to his head. “Show me how you like it, Lilah. Show me what you need right now.”

I know what he’s doing. He’s giving me permission to take control again. And fuck if that doesn’t make me like him even more.

I grip his hair tightly and tip his head back so I can look him in the eyes. “What I need is for you to stop talking and eat me like the good boy I know you can be.”

His coffee-colored gaze sparks, and it’s the last thing I see before I force his mouth back to me and get completely lost in ecstasy. Fox drives his tongue against me, sliding it over me again and again, and it’s fucking magnificent. I don’t have to tell or show him what I like. He knows. Still, I keep my hand in his hair, holding him to me tightly, not wanting to lose this feeling that’s racing through me.

His touch is just the right amount of pressure and just the right speed, and he’s not just tasting me. He’s worshipping me, stealing all the breath from my lungs. I don’t know when he moves my underwear out of the way, but suddenly he’s sucking my bare clit between his lips, and my orgasm barrels through me in a flash. My hips buck off the door, but Fox doesn’t dare relent, and I ride his face through each and every wave that passes through me. He takes it all, enjoying it quite a bit if the pleasured growl that rolls through him means anything.

When the last of my shudders subside, Fox finally gives me some reprieve, pressing soft kisses to the inside of my thigh as he works to catch his breath.

“That was…” But he doesn’t finish. He doesn’t have to. I know exactly what he means.

I nod anyway and say, “Yeah. That was.”

I’m not sure how much time passes before Fox finally pushes to his feet and slips his lips against mine. I don’t even care that he tastes like me. Our kiss is slower and softer than before, but it doesn’t make me want him any less. I drop my fingers to where his pretty shirt is tucked into his slacks and tug it free, needing to touch him in any way I can. He hisses when my hands slip underneath and I drag my nails over his soft skin.

“You’re teasing again, sugar,” he says, that drawl of his that only comes out every now and then thick.

“ I’m teasing? You just ate my pussy like it was your last meal.”

“Yeah, but that’s all I had time for. My game.”

Shit. Right. I completely forgot he has a game tonight. He probably has a million things to do before it, and I’ve already taken up enough of his time today.

“But you didn’t…” I slide my hand lower, palming his cock that’s lying hard against his thigh.

He grabs my wrist, stopping me with a shake of his head. “It’s okay. I’m okay. That was enough.”

“Fox—”

But he silences my protest with his lips, kissing me hard. So hard I can feel it in my chest.

Ba-boom.

Ba-boom.

Ba-boom.

Wait. That’s not my heart.

It’s my door.

“Lilah Jane Maddison! Open this door right this instant!”

Auden.

Fox’s eyes widen, mirroring the surprise on my face.

“What the hell is she doing here?” I whisper.

He shrugs. “How am I supposed to know?”

“You’re engaged?!” she yells through the door, which she promptly bangs on again. “To my boyfriend’s goalie?! You’d better open this door or I’m using my key! Five!”

“Oh, fuck.” I shove on Fox’s chest, my fingers flying over the buttons of my dress, trying to make myself as presentable as I can after the orgasm I just had. “She means it.”

Fox gulps loudly and shoves his shirt back into his slacks hastily.

I wipe at his mouth, still glistening from my orgasm. “Go wash your face.”

He nods, thundering his way through my apartment.

“Left, left!” I whisper-yell when he goes right toward my spare bedroom instead of left to the bathroom.

He throws up a hand, then tucks himself inside. I blow out a breath, running my hands through my hair, hoping like hell that’s enough. I’m sure my cheeks are stained red and my lips are swollen, but there’s not much I can do about that.

“Come on, Lilah. I know you’re in there. You think I can’t hear you?” Auden says much quieter this time, almost pleadingly.

I can hear the betrayal in her voice, and it nearly kills me. I’ve been keeping something huge from her. I have to fix this. With one last fortifying breath, I pull open the door and come face to face with my very hurt-looking best friend.

“Auden, look, I can?—”

“Explain? Oh, you bet your ass you’re going to explain.” She marches past me, barely missing running into me—though I don’t think that was her intent—and whirls around, shoving her phone in my face. “What the hell, Lilah?”

It takes a second for my eyes to focus, and when they do, I can’t believe what I see.

Lilah Maddison, Heiress to Maddison Holdings Empire, Engaged to Seattle Serpents Goaltender Arthur Fox

There’s a photo of us from two hours ago, Fox on his knee before me as he places the ring on my finger. I have no idea who took the photo. I didn’t see anyone with a camera. But then again, I was so focused on Fox and his beautiful words that there’s every chance in the world I could have missed it.

What I want to know is how this information got out so quickly. Who could have possibly cared that much? Who could have been so quick to sell this photo? Who could have?—

“My mother.”

Auden’s brows pinch together. “What?”

“My mother!” I say again, gnashing my teeth. Of course she did this. That’s why she was so insistent on having lunch at that restaurant. She had someone planted and ready to take the shot so she could profit off this in some way. “This was all orchestrated by her.”

“You’re telling me you’re engaged to Fox because of her?”

“Yes!” I toss my hands in the air. Technically, that is true, just maybe not in the way I’m letting on right now.

“I…” Auden shakes her head. “I’m confused. How does your mother even know Fox?”

“It’s… I…” I huff. “Can we sit down?”

She doesn’t respond, just turns on her heel and makes her way to my living room, plopping down on the couch. She crosses her arms and legs simultaneously, and it may look like she’s waiting patiently, but I know that’s far from true. I follow behind her, sitting on the other end, a few inches more than striking distance away, just in case she flies off the handle at what I’m about to tell her.

“I am engaged to Fox.”

She gasps. “What the hell?! I?—”

“But it’s not what you think,” I interrupt before she explodes more than she already has.

“Really?” She lifts her brows pointedly. “Because this photo looks like he’s proposing to you, and you’re wearing that tacky ring you’ve always hated on your finger. I thought you weren’t into Fox. I thought you didn’t have a crush on him. Have you been lying about that, too?”

I wince, fiddling with the ring that’s felt like it weighs a hundred pounds since Fox slipped it on. “Yeah, I guess that does look pretty bad. But there’s more to the story.”

“Then you better get to telling it because I’m really losing patience here. I know I’ve kept things from you before,” she says, referring to when she snuck around with Hutch before they officially got together, “but this is marriage , Lilah. I didn’t think you’d hide something that huge from me.”

“I’m not hiding it. Not intentionally. It just sort of…got away from us, and I didn’t know how to tell you.”

She tips her head. “Well, I’m listening now.”

“Remember how I told my mother I had a boyfriend because she was on my ass about having a date for my father’s birthday party?”

“Of course I remember. You told me you found someone. You did not, however, mention that someone was Fox.” She cuts me a nasty look that I completely deserve.

“Surprise?” She huffs, and I continue. “We…didn’t mean for it to be this big.”

“ How did it get this big? How did this even start?”

“New Year’s Eve. I was on the phone with my mother”—I hold my hand up when she tries to interject, likely about to lecture me about answering my mother’s call—“and Fox heard her grilling me and being her usual snotty self, telling me she didn’t believe I had a boyfriend.”

“Told you so,” Auden mutters, and she’s right. She did tell me so. Perhaps if I had listened to her then, I wouldn’t be in this situation now. “Let me guess, then: he stepped in to help you and agreed to be your date for the night?”

“Yes.”

“I mean, I get that. It’s Fox. He’s the sweetest man alive. I’m not surprised he wanted to help you. I bet he’d stop every lane on I-5 during rush hour traffic if it meant helping a turtle cross the street.”

I smile. She has no idea.

“I don’t get how it went from one date to an engagement.”

“ Fake engagement. We’re not really getting married.” I finger the gaudy ring. “It’s all to keep my parents off my back. I…I didn’t want to lie to you, Auden. I swear it. But I’m too afraid to tell my mother the truth because I don’t want to turn into the bitter old woman she is.”

That last part tumbles out of me before I can stop the confession. I didn’t mean to say it, but it feels good now that it’s out there. Especially because that’s exactly why I keep letting myself play this game with Fox.

I don’t want to end up alone and bitter. I’m still not over the moon at the idea of marriage, but the idea of a relationship… Well, it doesn’t sound so wild anymore. This pretending thing has made me realize there are definitely perks to it. It’s nice to have someone who cares and remembers all the little things about you and doesn’t find your quirks to be strange, but rather cute.

Someone like Fox.

I shake that thought away, my eyes drifting to the door of the bathroom he’s currently hiding in. Auden came in with such a blaze that I nearly forgot he was here. Can he hear all this? What does he think of my admission?

“That is…” Auden sighs. “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.”

I whip my head back, surprised. “What?”

“First of all, you’re not going to end up bitter and alone like that old…that old…bitch!”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “You just called my mother a bitch.”

“Well, am I wrong?”

I shake my head, still laughing. “No. No, you’re not wrong at all. She’s a total bitch.”

“Secondly, I can’t believe you two are dumb enough to cook up this plan. I mean, seriously? You’re practically feeding Fox to the sharks. You know if you give your parents an inch, they’ll take a mile. How did you not see this coming?”

“I don’t know. I thought it would just get them off my back for a bit. I figured they hate me, so they wouldn’t be invested like they are when it comes to Sadie.”

“Please. Your mother seizes any chance she gets to take control.”

Something about that sends a shudder down my spine. Am I like her more than I thought? Because I want to have control in the bedroom? And possibly even in the boardroom?

“So, are you actually getting married?”

“No!” The single word bursts out of me quickly. “No,” I say, softer this time.

She nods, pleased by that answer. “Do you think your mother knows this is fake?”

“If you had asked me that before today, I might have said yes. But considering she’s currently planning our engagement party as we speak, no.”

“A party? You’re going to fake this in front of everyone?”

I shrug. “What choice do we have? Tell everyone it’s just a big hoax? Just come out and say, ‘Oopsie. Our bad’? No. We’re going to have the party, then break up. That’s the plan.”

“At least you have a plan. I certainly didn’t with Hutch. One day, we were having a little fun, sleeping together, and—” Her eyes widen. “ No. ”

“What?”

“Tell me you’re not sleeping with him.”

“Wh-What?” I force a laugh. “Of course not. I… We’re…” I groan. “Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, we’ve slept together. But it was only one time!”

And a half. But I don’t tell her that.

I squeeze my thighs together, a reminder of what just happened against my front door. It’s safe to say my high from the orgasm is long gone, and I could definitely go for another to chase away the tension that’s already crept back into my shoulders.

“Lilah…” She titters, relaxing back into the couch for the first time since we sat down. “You’re playing a dangerous game, you know that?”

I don’t say anything because I don’t know what to say. Of course I know we’re playing a dangerous game. I’m well aware of that. But I can’t seem to stop it.

I wonder if that’s because I don’t want to stop it.

“Look,” she says, folding her hands in her lap. “You’re an adult. You both are, so whatever you two are doing is entirely your decision. I just…I think you should be careful, Lilah. I know you don’t believe in love or relationships or any of that stuff, but Fox does. He pretends he’s like the other guys in the Serpents Singles Club, but I don’t buy that. He’s too sweet for that. He has a big heart, and I don’t want to see him get hurt.”

She doesn’t have to clarify that she doesn’t want to see me hurt him, but Fox and I know this is fake, and we’re not pretending it’s anything but. We won’t get hurt because there are no feelings involved.

“Thank you. I promise to take your words to heart.”

She nods. “All right. That’s all I want. Have you told Sadie?”

I shake my head. “Not yet, but I guess that’s another phone call I need to make. I’m sure my mother has already spread the word across the pond.”

“That woman. I swear,” Auden mutters.

Then we’re quiet. We stay that way for a long time, not really saying anything, and I am acutely aware Fox is still in my apartment, potentially listening to all of this.

“Well, I’d better get going,” Auden says after a while. She stands, pulling her purse over her shoulder. “I have some errands to run—and apparently a new dress to buy for your engagement party.”

I try to hold back my groan as I follow her, walking her to the door, where she throws her arms around me. I hug her tightly, needing it more than I realize. I hate that Auden found out about this from anyone other than me, but I’m glad the secret is out now. It’s been killing me to keep it from her. Plus, having someone other than Fox to talk to about it will be nice.

“Are you going to tell Hutch about this?” I ask, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Yes. He’s my partner. I don’t hide things from him.”

I nod, understanding. “That’s fair.”

“But I won’t tell anyone else. Not even Rory.”

I exhale heavily, relieved. “Thank you. You’re the best best friend in the whole world.”

“I know,” she says coolly.

We hug again, and Auden leaves, her warning ringing loudly in my ears.

Be careful, Lilah. I don’t want to see him get hurt.

I am being careful. I won’t hurt him. We know what this is. We know it’s fake. We’re fine. This is fine, right?

I press my back against the door, squeezing my eyes shut tight. I can’t help but laugh at how different this moment is from when I was in this same position just a half hour ago, Fox between my legs.

Sweet Fox. Kind Fox. Fox, who does believe in love.

It’s fine. We’re fine , I tell myself, but I can’t help the little bit of worry that creeps in at the edge of my thoughts. What if we aren’t fine? What if we’re blurring the lines too much?

And what if…what if I do the stupidest thing of all and fall for my fake fiancé?