Page 14

CHAPTER 14

FOX

I am going straight to hell.

I heard every word between Lilah and Auden and never once did I do anything to tune them out.

I’m too afraid to tell my mother the truth because I don’t want to turn into the bitter old woman she is.

Is that what Lilah thinks will happen? Does she not see how incredible she is? With parents like hers who believe she’s not good enough no matter what she does, I’m betting not.

They must have really done a number on her over the years if she believes she’s like her mother, though. She’s not. I know I haven’t spent much time with the woman, but I know Lilah is nothing like her. Sure, she likes control, and her mother clearly does too, but it’s different. Lilah doesn’t want to control other people. She just wants to be in control of her , and who doesn’t want that? Who doesn’t want a say in their own lives?

I push off the tub’s ledge, looking in the mirror for the first time. Fuck, I look a wreck. Thanks to Lilah’s hands, my hair is sticking up everywhere, and I look tired, probably because this is when I’m usually taking my pre-game nap, not hiding in a bathroom. This whole thing has gotten much more out of hand than I ever thought it might. It was just supposed to be one party, one evening of faking it. Now, we’re hosting an engagement party.

I could have said no, though. At any point, I could have told Selene to fuck off, and I could have told Lilah I was out. Yet, I couldn’t. I took one look at the woman sitting next to me and saw that defeat in her eyes as her mother made snide remarks about her, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave her to battle them alone.

So, I got down on one knee, spoke from my heart, and asked Lilah to marry me. Sure, it was fake, but fuck, I’d be a fool if I didn’t admit there was a tiny part of me that got lost in the moment. It almost felt real for just a fraction of a second.

We’re going to have the party, then break up. That’s the plan.

That’s been our plan all along, and I’ve been fine with that, but now? Now, I don’t know what I want. I rub at my chest, not liking the idea of breaking up with Lilah one bit, which is silly.

I shake away the thought and do my business, cleaning off my face and washing my hands. After spending far too much time in the bathroom even after Auden is gone, I do my best to gather my wits and gently pull the door open. I peek my head around the frame and find Lilah standing with her back fitted against the front door, just where I had her earlier.

She looks shaken, completely out of sorts. The urge to put her back together hits me strong, and I march over to her, intending to do just that.

“You okay?” I ask her softly.

Her eyelids flutter open at my intrusion. She nods. “I’m all right. Are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She points her thumb toward the door. “Because my mother is definitely the one responsible for the ‘leak’ about our engagement. It’s splashed all over the internet now, and it won’t just be Hutch who knows. It’ll be all of them. There’s no hiding this thing now.”

She’s right. We can’t hide this anymore. But that was going to happen anyway with the engagement party, right? It’s not like we could have kept hiding this for much longer.

“Do I love how this all came out? No, but we were going to tell Auden and Hutch anyway, right?”

“True. But?—”

“Then it’s okay.” I close the remaining distance between us. Not just because I want to reassure her but because I can’t seem to help myself. I need to touch her. I tip her chin up toward me, her beautiful blue eyes a little duller than when I left her earlier. “It’s okay. We’re in this together, remember?”

She gives me a half smile. “Stop being so nice.”

“No. You like that I’m nice.”

She puffs out a breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I just… Aren’t you worried at all?”

“No.”

“No? Do you think Auden knew you were here?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. The only thing I’m worried about right now is getting this dress off you.”

Her brows pull together, but there’s no mistaking the spark that comes back into her gaze. “But what about your game? Aren’t you usually napping right now?”

I am usually napping at this time, but this whole day has already been screwed up as it is. Why not throw that out the window too? “Nap with me.”

“With you?”

“Yeah. I have my suit in my truck already, and that’s really all I need. I’m good. I can stay here as long as you want.”

Her eyes brighten, as if she’s surprised I knew what she needs right now is to not be alone. But she shouldn’t be surprised. Lilah isn’t that hard to read if you look for the right things.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

“Sugar, if you’re asking me if I’m sure I want to go to bed with you, then yes, I am very, very sure of that.”

She smirks. “I think we both know if we go back to my room, there won’t be any sleeping happening.”

“Oh, no. How sad.”

She laughs at my monotone voice, and I haul her to me, kissing the laughter away. It’s not long before it turns into something more, and I’m lifting her, her legs hooking together around my waist. My cock brushes right against her clit, which I know is covered by nothing more than a scrap of material.

“Arthur…” She moans my name, writhing against me. “I need…”

“I know what you need,” I say, turning and carrying her through her apartment to her bedroom, her lips on my neck the whole time.

I drop her softly onto her bed, undoing the buttons she hastily redid to greet Auden, and I can’t help my chuckle when I see just how many she got wrong.

“What’s so funny?” she asks, eyes half open, already lost in the pleasure.

“Your buttons. They’re cattywampus.”

“Cattywampus?” She giggles.

“What? That’s what we say in the South.”

She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah,” I say, working the last of her buttons free and pressing my lips right above her belly button. “You like it though.”

She sighs. “For the life of me, I can’t figure out why, but I do.”

“I’m telling you…” I trail my lips higher, kissing between her breasts. “It’s the goalie stretches.”

“Those damn”—a long sigh as I close my mouth around her nipple—“goalie stretches.”

I tease her through her bra, loving the feel of the lace against my tongue. I don’t know if she always wears lacy bras like this, but fuck, I hope so.

“God, that feels good,” she murmurs as I pull her other nipple into my mouth.

It does. It feels so damn good. She feels good.

I tease her for I don’t even know how long, but I know for certain I’m not getting a nap before the game tonight. It’s worth it, though, especially hearing her little sighs and moans as I slip my hand beneath her dress, circling her clit with my thumb.

“Shit,” I mutter. “You’re so fucking wet for me, sugar.”

“All for you,” she agrees, panting and arching her hips to meet my touch, needing more.

She pulls at me like she’s trying to drag me even closer than I already am.

I kiss up her neck until my lips are ghosting against hers. “What do you need, Lilah?”

“Your cock.”

I smirk against her, loving her bluntness. Why does she have no problem speaking her mind to anyone but her parents?

“Yes, ma’am,” I say, and she hums happily.

“I kind of like that.”

I thought she might, but I don’t say that. Instead, I do as she requests, working myself free from my pants, not bothering to undress fully before I press against her. She widens her legs, giving me space.

“Fucking hell,” I mutter, kissing the corner of her mouth. “How do you feel this good with something between us?”

“How do you ?” she asks, sliding her soaked pussy against me.

I rock against her again, even though I know I shouldn’t. I need a condom, but the last thing I want to do is move. I just want to feel her. All of her.

“Please,” she begs. “Fuck me already, Fox.”

“Condom,” I tell her, and she shakes her head. “No?”

“IUD. Haven’t been with anyone in six months.”

“Me too.” Longer, actually, but I don’t tell her that. “My last test was good.”

“Then what are you waiting for? I need?—”

Lilah doesn’t finish that sentence. She can’t. She’s too busy not breathing as I pull her panties aside and slam into her without warning.

“Holy fucking shit.”

I bury my head into her neck with a groan, unable to move. I’m scared if I do, I’m going to come instantly. She’s so warm and tight and absolutely perfect. Nothing can ever get better than this.

“Move,” she pleads into my ear. “I need you to move.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“Why?”

“Because, Lilah, your cunt is wrapped around me like a vise, and if I move, I’m going to come.” Her breath stutters in my ear, and I pull back, looking down at her. “Is that what you want? You want me to fill you up, sugar?”

“God, yes,” she says as I rock into her lightly. “Fill me, Arthur. Fuck me hard and fill me with your cum.”

So, I do. I pull out until just the tip of my cock sits inside her, then I slam in again. Over and over, fucking her hard and fast with no remorse until her nails are digging into my back and she’s arching into me, screaming my name in my ear.

“Come,” she demands. “Come with me.”

I thrust into her again and again, and then I’m doing just as I promised—I fill her up until I can feel myself leaking out of her. I don’t know what drives me to do it. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment or something else animalistic inside of me, but I pull out of her and replace my cock with my fingers, pushing all that cum back inside her, wanting to know that while I’m in net tonight, she’s sitting at home with a bit of me inside her.

I pull my cum-soaked fingers from her, taking them right to her mouth. She opens willingly, tasting the two of us together, moaning around my digits with appreciation. She giggles when she feels my cock twitch against her leg.

“Ready again so soon?” she asks, her tongue teasing me still.

I slide my eyes to hers. “I just watched you eat my cum off my fingers. Yes, I am definitely ready again.”

Another laugh as she pulls me down for a kiss, and I let her because I need to kiss her again. We stay like that for a long while, our mouths moving together until the last minute when I absolutely have to move or else I’m going to be late to the game.

“So much for a nap,” she says as I pull away, somehow knowing what’s coming next.

“Maybe it’s for the best. I wasn’t playing the greatest before. This could be a new tradition.”

“I’ve always wanted to be someone’s good luck charm.”

“You can be mine, Lilah.”

I kiss her again, then push off her, tucking my cock back into my pants. I pull her up, then make my way to her adjoining bathroom, where I wash up the best I can.

“Hey, Fox?” she calls, and I peek my head back into the room.

She’s sitting on the edge of the bed, her dress still undone, her tits visible through the lace of her bra. Her hair is a complete mess, and if I look close enough, I can see the spots where I nipped at her neck as I fucked her. Is it wrong for me to want those marks to stay?

“Yes?” I say.

“How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“How did you know I like…” She exhales heavily. “That I like being in control?”

I don’t know how I knew. Maybe it was just intuition. Maybe it was something else along the way. Or maybe it was even me wanting to give up that control. Either way, I had a gut feeling it was something we both needed.

I use the towel hanging near the door to dry my hands, then pad back out to her, stopping at her feet. I tip her head back until she’s peering up at me.

“I don’t know. But you like it, right?”

It takes her a moment, but she nods. “I do. Do you?”

“I do.” Her shoulders relax at my affirmation. “And that’s all that matters, isn’t it?”

She nods again, pushing her shoulders back, that confidence of hers that I admire so much coming back full force. “Yes, that’s all that matters.”

I kiss her again, this time keeping it brief, and she walks me to her door with a promise of watching my game. Not until I’m tucked inside the elevator do I realize just how well and truly fucked I am.

Because this thing with Lilah? It’s starting to feel less and less fake, and damn if that doesn’t scare me.

“Well fucking well.”

I groan inwardly as I step into the locker room about twenty minutes behind my usual arrival time, something I’d gladly do again if it meant feeling Lilah come apart beneath me like she did. As I expected, Lawson, Hayes, Keller, Hutch, and Locke are all standing in a circle near my stall.

And all of them are looking right at me.

“I take it you’ve heard.”

How could they not? It was plastered all over the internet in record time. I’ve already had a phone call from my brother and sister, both of which I’ve ignored.

“Oh, we’ve heard all right,” Lawson says, apparently speaking for everyone. “We heard you’re a snake who doesn’t tell us a damn thing. I knew something was going on with all that bumping and grinding you were doing on the dance floor at the party.”

Keller smacks him on the back of his head. “Stop saying that. It’s lame.”

“You’re lame,” Lawson tosses back, rubbing at the spot Keller just hit. He turns back to me. “Got anything you want to say to us?”

“Uh, your mom says hello?”

Hayes snickers, holding his fist out for me to bump. “Nice.”

Lawson ignores us both, barreling ahead. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us you’re getting married. To Lilah . We, like, know her and shit.”

I shrug. “It’s not like I was planning it. It just sort of…happened.”

A snort draws my attention, and I look directly at Hutch for the first time. The smirk on his lips tells me he’s already had a discussion with his girlfriend and is well aware of the predicament Lilah and I are in. I snap my gaze away from him, afraid I might break down and confess everything if I don’t.

“What do you mean you weren’t planning on it? Did you just propose randomly? That’s not very romantic.”

“What the hell do you know about romance, Lawsy?”

“Guarantee it’s more than you, Mr. Never Been Kissed.”

Keller opens his mouth to respond but closes it just as quickly, shaking his head like arguing with Lawson isn’t worth his time.

“Wait. Holy shit!” Lawson’s eyes are wide. “Is that your thing? Are you a virgin?”

“No, and your mom can confirm it.”

Lawson steps toward him, and Keller grins, only further proving my theory that he enjoys fighting just a bit too much.

Locke grabs them both, pulling them apart. “All right, all right. That’s enough. We don’t need a fight before the game. And besides, we’re not asking the important questions.” He looks at me. “When did you and Lilah start dating?”

“A while ago,” I say, keeping it vague like Lilah had before.

“Is that why you were bumping and grin— oof. ” Lawson doubles over from the punch Keller lands on his stomach. He rubs at it, grimacing and throwing daggers our grumpy teammate’s way. “Is that why you were dancing together on New Year’s?”

“Yeah, that’s why.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us?” Lawson actually sounds hurt, and I hate the guilt that moves through me.

I also hate all the lying.

You’re doing this for Lilah , I remind myself. Just play the part.

“It was new,” I explain. “We’ve been quietly seeing one another for a while, and on New Year’s Eve, I just had a moment, you know? Like one of those ‘fuck it’ ones. I looked over at her and knew she was the one.”

It’s not entirely untrue. I did look over at Lilah and say “fuck it” when I stepped in to help her. The rest is a lie, though.

Hutch snorts again, but I ignore him, worried if I look his way, the truth will be written all over my face, but Locke doesn’t disregard him. No, he looks over at our captain, and I watch a silent conversation move between them. What they’re saying is as clear as day.

You know something , Locke’s gaze says.

You bet your ass I do , Hutch responds.

He’s lying? Locke asks.

Oh, he’s big-time lying , Hutch confirms.

I gulp, glad Keller, Lawson, and Hayes are locked in an argument about whether my impromptu proposal was romantic or stupid. If you ask me, I don’t think any of them would know romance if it bit them in the ass, especially Lawson. Maybe that’s why Rory is so into him. She’s not touchy-feely, and Lawson is as unromantic as they come.

Lawson finally throws his hands up, fed up with it all, and steps forward, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me until I’m forced to hug him back.

“Completely idiotic or not, we’re happy for you, buddy. And I, for one, can’t wait to be your best man.”

“Thanks,” I tell him. “You’re not my best man, though.”

He pulls away, his face crumpled in hurt. “But…but…best friends.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Keller rolls his eyes with a groan. “Go get ready for the game.”

Lawson walks away, grumbling something about friendship hierarchy, and I’m certain I’ve not heard the last of his feelings on it.

Keller steps up, clapping me once on the shoulder. “Congrats, man. I think you’re dumb as fuck for getting married because it ruins your life, but congrats.”

“Thank you. I think.”

He shrugs, then pushes past me. He heads for his stall to get ready, his brows drawn tighter together than I’ve seen in a while, like something has him upset. I make a mental note to check in on him later.

“Happy for you,” Hayes says, giving me an awkward pat on the head. “Quinn likes Lilah, so that’s good enough for me.”

I nod at him as he moves away. Then it’s just me, Hutch, and Locke, both looking too smug.

“What?” I ask.

They exchange a glance. I don’t like it one bit.

Locke breaks first, grinning. “Nothing, man. Very happy for you with this sudden turn of events.”

But he doesn’t sound happy. He sounds like he knows something, and it’s got me feeling all kinds of nervous.

“I think you and Lilah are perfect together.”

“You do?”

“Sure.” Again, he doesn’t sound sure, but I don’t have the chance to say anything else before he walks away, leaving me to face Hutch alone.

When I finally get the courage to look my captain in the eyes, I know I’m in for a major ass-chewing.

I sigh. “Just get on with it.”

“Get on with what? I wasn’t going to say anything.”

I grind my molars together. “Yes, you were, so just say it.”

He lifts a shoulder. “I really don’t have anything to say, Fox, and if I did, I’m sure it wouldn’t be anything you didn’t hear earlier from Auden.”

Fuck. I guess that confirms that Auden knew I was in Lilah’s apartment.

“Look,” I say, stepping closer and lowering my voice so the other guys don’t hear, “I know it sounds crazy, but it’s totally fake, okay? We know what we’re doing here.”

Another grin, and for the first time ever, I want to take a page out of Keller’s book and throw a punch to make it disappear. I’m not usually a violent man, but I hate this feeling, as if Hutch has one up on me or something. I don’t think he’d ever do anything to betray Lilah and me and tell anyone, but still. It makes me feel so…bad.

I hate feeling bad. I want to be good.

Good boy.

Lilah’s words ring through my head, and I try to push them away. I don’t need to be having thoughts like that right now. The only thing I need to be focusing on is this game. That’s it.

“As long as you don’t let whatever this is get in the way of your game, I don’t give a shit what you do in your free time, Fox. Even if I do think you’re playing the biggest game of chicken I’ve ever seen and think it’s going to completely bite you in the ass. That’s your game and your ass. I’m staying out of this one.”

Even though his words aren’t entirely encouraging, mainly because he thinks what we’re doing is monumentally stupid, they still comfort me.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“But I will say this.” Hutch takes a step toward me, so close now that I can smell the fancy Armani cologne I know he spent entirely too much money on. “If you hurt Lilah in any way at all, I will break every bone in each of your legs and laugh while I do it. I will hurt you so fucking bad you’ll never play a game of hockey again. Understood?”

His words piss me off, and probably not in the way he expects.

“I would never do anything to hurt her. Ever. I’m doing her a favor, okay? I want to do this for her. So you don’t have to worry about me hurting her. Lilah is…” I shake my head. “I would never hurt her, Hutch. Ever. I swear it on everything that I am.”

His thick brows slowly inch upward, surprise coating his features, and I don’t like it one bit.

“What?” I bark at him.

Yet another fucking grin as he shakes his head. “Nothing, Fox. Nothing at all.”

Then he plops down in his stall next to mine and begins his all-too-familiar routine to prep for the game, leaving me gaping after him. I don’t know how long I stand there, but it’s so long that Coach comes into the room and asks me what the hell I’m doing.

“Sorry, Coach,” I say, finally taking a seat and beginning my pregame process.

“You good?” he asks.

I nod as I start taking off the fancy dress shoes I changed into in my truck, the same place I put my suit on. I should have probably just taken it back up to Lilah’s place to change, but I was too scared if I went up there, I wouldn’t be able to leave again. “Yeah, I’m good.”

He gives me one last look before continuing through the room, and I try my best to focus on the task at hand. It’s hard, though. My thoughts are jumping all over the place, from Lilah to Hutch to Locke to Coach and back to Lilah again. Round and round they go.

And that’s where they stay, even as we dress and hit the ice for warmups, all throughout the national anthem and even through the first period. It’s not until we hit the locker room after the final buzzer and the guys going wild to celebrate my forty-one-save shutout that I realize I haven’t once panicked about the game. It was the first time in a long time I wasn’t completely stuck in my head and didn’t force the team to play on their heels the entire time.

When I climb into my truck, my mind still reeling, I don’t steer toward home. I go to Lilah’s…and I think it’s exactly where I’m meant to be.