Page 25 of Dust and Desire (Sagebrush Cowboys #5)

Dustin

I awoke to the feeling of sweat running down my back. With a grumble, I rolled over in bed, realizing the shades were wide open and the sun was beating down on my sheets. I must’ve forgotten to close them the night before.

Throwing the sheets aside, I scooched to the side of the bed, putting my feet on the cool floor.

The thunderstorm the night before must’ve brought the heat with it.

That meant it was probably gonna be hot as hell for a couple days.

But honestly, I couldn’t be bothered. Not when I was thoroughly fucked and loved by the most beautiful man I’d ever laid eyes on.

A smile tugged at my lips as memories of last night flooded back. Alex’s hands on my body, his mouth against mine, the way he’d filled me so completely, both physically and emotionally. My cock twitched against my thigh at the recollection, already hardening.

He must’ve been at work already. The bed beside me was empty, the sheets cool to the touch. He must have left hours ago with the rising sun. I reached for my phone on the nightstand, squinting at the time. It was half past nine. He’d definitely gone to work already.

I fell back against the pillows, stretching languidly. His scent still clung to the sheets, that intoxicating mix of leather, hay, and the scent of his skin. I buried my face in his pillow, inhaling deeply, remembering how it felt to hear those three words from his lips.

I love you too.

God, I was acting like a lovesick teenager, but I couldn’t help it. I slid my hand down my chest, over my stomach, until my fingers wrapped around my hardening cock. Slowly, I began to stroke myself, closing my eyes and letting the memories wash over me.

The feeling of his stubble against my inner thighs. The metal of his piercing sliding against my prostate. The way he’d looked at me when I confessed my love, like I was the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

My pace quickened, breath coming in short gasps as I imagined him watching me, those warm brown eyes drinking in every detail. I was close already, embarrassingly so, my body still sensitive from last night’s activities.

“Alex,” I whispered into the empty room, my back arching off the bed as I came, spilling over my fist and onto my stomach.

I lay there for a moment, catching my breath, feeling simultaneously satisfied and empty. Nothing compared to the real thing. To him.

After cleaning myself up with tissues from the nightstand, I checked my phone again. No messages from Alex, but there was a text from Ali.

Ali: Hey stranger. Been a while since we talked. Can we catch up?

My stomach twisted with guilt. She was right. I’d been so wrapped up in Alex that I’d barely thought about my ex-wife. My best friend. The person who knew me better than anyone else in the world.

Or at least, that’s who she had been. Now there was Alex, who seemed to understand parts of me I’d never even shown Ali.

I tapped out a quick reply.

Me: Of course. Everything okay?

Her response came almost immediately .

Ali: Not really. Broke up with Jason. Need to get away for a bit. Can I come visit?

My fingers hovered over the keyboard. Ali, here? In my tiny house? Where Alex and I had been living in our private bubble of new love? The thought made me anxious, but this was Ali. She needed me.

Before I could reply, another text came through.

Ali: I know it’s last minute, but I could really use my best friend right now. Please?

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. How could I say no to her? After everything we’d been through together, all the years of friendship before and during our marriage, I couldn’t turn her away when she needed me.

Me: Of course you can come. When were you thinking?

Ali: Tomorrow? I already booked a flight to Dallas. I can rent a car from there.

My heart rate picked up. Tomorrow? That was so soon.

I glanced around my tiny house, at the evidence of Alex everywhere, his boots by the door, his hat on the hook, his shirts mixed with mine in the laundry basket.

What would Ali think? She knew I was gay, of course, but knowing it and seeing me with another man were two different things.

For some reason, I felt the need to hide it all from her.

Me: Tomorrow works. My house is a little small for you so I’ll make sure there’s a spot for you in town.

Ali: You’re the best. Love you.

I set my phone down, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.

I needed to talk to Alex. This wasn’t just my space anymore, it had become ours in the week since the break-in at his apartment.

He had his own place, but he never stayed there.

Would he be okay with Ali visiting here?

Would he want to move back to his apartment temporarily?

The thought of sleeping without him made my chest ache.

I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over my body.

As I washed away the evidence of my morning activities, I tried to organize my thoughts.

Ali was coming. My ex-wife was coming to the place where I’d finally found myself, where I’d fallen in love with a man who made me feel whole for the first time in my life.

The place I’d run to so I could escape the life I’d shared with her.

How would those worlds collide?

After dressing in clean jeans and a t-shirt, I made coffee and toast, my mind still racing. I’d have to clean the place up, maybe wash the sheets. Should I tell her about Alex right away, or let her settle in first? Would she be hurt that I’d moved on so quickly?

No, that was ridiculous. She’d been dating Jason for months.

She’d moved on long before I had. And we’d been divorced for two years.

Surely that was plenty of time. Still, there was something different about this, about Alex.

Something that might make her realize our marriage had been doomed from the start in a way that had nothing to do with her.

My phone buzzed with a text from Alex.

Alex: Morning, beautiful. Miss you already. Lunch at the diner later? I wanted to chat with you anyway.

My heart fluttered at his words. How did he always know exactly what to say to make me feel like a teenager with his first crush?

Me: I’d love that. Need to talk to you about something too.

Alex: Everything okay?

Me: Yeah, just some unexpected news. Nothing bad. Tell you when I see you.

Alex: Can’t wait. Love you.

Love you. Those words still felt new and precious, like fragile glass I was afraid to hold too tightly. I set my phone down, smiling despite my anxiety about Ali’s visit.

I finished my coffee and toast, trying to shake off the nervous energy that had settled in my chest. The thought of Ali seeing this place, seeing the evidence of my life with Alex, made me want to hide everything away. But that was ridiculous. I was a grown man, and I had nothing to be ashamed of.

Still, I found myself tidying up more than usual, folding Alex’s clothes and putting them in the dresser, straightening the books on the coffee table.

It wasn’t that I was ashamed of him. God, no.

I was more proud of what we had than I’d ever been of anything.

But Ali represented my past, the version of myself I’d been trying so hard to move beyond.

Having her here felt like those two worlds colliding in a way I wasn’t sure I was ready for. It just plain made me nervous.

By the time I was supposed to meet Alex at the diner, I’d worked myself into a state of anxious energy.

I grabbed my keys and headed out, the heat hitting me like a wall the moment I stepped outside.

The storm had definitely brought the humidity with it, and my shirt was already sticking to my back by the time I reached my truck.

The diner was busy with the lunch crowd, but I spotted Alex immediately.

He was sitting in a corner booth, his black hat on the table beside him, his short brown hair slightly mussed from wearing the hat all day.

When he saw me, his face lit up with that sunshine smile that never failed to make my heart skip.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said as I slid into the booth across from him, his voice warm and intimate despite the crowded diner.

“Hey yourself,” I replied, suddenly feeling better just being near him. “How was your morning?”

Something flickered across his expression, too quick for me to read. “Busy. You know how it is. What about you? You said you had news?”

I took a breath, steadying myself. “My ex-wife is coming to visit. Tomorrow, actually. She just broke up with her boyfriend and needs to get away for a bit.”

Alex’s smile faltered slightly, and I saw him process this information. “Your ex-wife. Ali.”

“Yeah.” I fidgeted with my napkin, suddenly nervous about his reaction. “She’s my best friend, really. Has been since college. The marriage thing... it was complicated, but we’re still close.”

“Of course,” Alex said, but his voice sounded strained. “How long is she staying?”

“I don’t know yet. She sounded pretty upset about the breakup.” I reached across the table, covering his hand with mine. “I wanted to tell you before she got here. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go back to your apartment for a few days, or...”

“No.” The word came out sharper than I think he intended, and he immediately softened his tone. “I mean, if you want me to give you space with her, I can. But I don’t want to go back to my place.”

There was something in his voice, a fear that I knew all too well.

“She’s gonna stay at the inn here in town,” I added, reaching across the table to take his hand. “I’m going after lunch to book her a room. You don’t have to worry. I only belong to you.”

“Sorry,” Alex sighed, letting the tension out of his body. He squeezed my hand before leaning down to kiss my knuckles. “I just got a little protective there. I know your past still causes you pain and I don’t want to lose you to it.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” I reassured him.

“Promise?” The way he looked at me, I had a feeling he needed to hear it.

“I promise,” I replied. “Now what did you need to talk to me about?”

Alex’s expression shifted, and I noticed a tightness around his eyes that hadn’t been there before. He withdrew his hand from mine, running it through his short hair in that way he did when he was nervous.

“It’s nothing,” he said, avoiding my gaze. “Just ranch stuff. Logan wants me to take on more responsibility with the breeding program.”

Something about his tone didn’t ring true, but before I could press him further, Dolly appeared with her notepad.

“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite customers,” she said with a knowing smile. “What’ll it be today, boys?”

We ordered our usual, burger and fries for me, chicken fried steak for Alex, and fell into easier conversation. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Alex had been about to tell me something important before changing his mind .

“Are you sure everything’s okay?” I asked when Dolly had left with our orders. “You seem... I don’t know, tense.”

He reached for my hand again, thumb tracing circles on my palm. “Just a long morning. And now with your ex coming to visit...” He shrugged. “It’s stupid, but I guess I’m a little jealous.”

“Of Ali?” I couldn’t help the surprise in my voice. “Alex, we’ve been divorced for two years. That chapter of my life is completely closed.”

“I know, I know.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Like I said, it’s stupid. Ignore me.”

Our food arrived, temporarily halting the conversation. As we ate, I found myself studying him, the way his shoulders remained slightly hunched, how his eyes kept darting to the window and door. It was subtle, but something was definitely off.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?” I asked softly.

His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I saw something there. Fear, maybe, or guilt. Then it was gone, replaced by that warm smile I’d fallen in love with.

“Of course I would,” he said. “I love you, Dustin. There are no secrets between us.”

I wanted to believe him. I did believe him. But as we finished our meal and parted ways, him back to the ranch, me to the inn to book Ali’s room, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that Alex Reyes was hiding something from me.

And whatever it was, it scared him enough to lie about it.