Page 16 of Doubts of the Egoist (Egoist #3)

Yugo leaned against the wall, looking at the ceiling, as he crumpled Kuon’s T-shirt in his fist. His heartbeat quickened, trying to clear the adrenaline from his system. That was close. He’s like a bulldog with a bone.

Needing a break to collect his thoughts and prepare a plan to dodge the most uncomfortable questions, he pulled a cigarette out of his chest pocket, lit it, and took a puff. He pulled out his cell phone with the other hand and sent out instructions regarding dinner.

His fingers lost their nervous grip on the cigarette, as he listened to the sounds of running water. It was bad enough that Kuon had discovered the hidden room; Yugo didn’t want to think about what would have happened if he’d peeked inside the box.

The initial idea to dispose of or replace its contents crumbled to dust when he realized that, unlike most of his former lovers, Kuon wouldn’t let go of it.

Now that Kuon knew about the damned room, Yugo wouldn’t be able to keep him away from it for long.

The empty box or a pair of boxers hidden inside would only insult his intelligence and arouse more suspicion.

Besides, Kuon wasn’t the only one with questions.

Some of the contents had caused Yugo quite a few sleepless nights.

Yugo’s head turned toward the sconce as he considered sneaking into the room, removing the most disturbing contents, and leaving just enough inside to make it look believable.

What if he catches me red-handed? Nah… It was too risky to do that now because he wouldn’t be able to prevent Kuon from finding his answers when the door was opened again. I should keep him busy before his imagination runs wild. The box can wait.

Yugo took another drag and stubbed out the unfinished cigarette in the ashtray. He left his smartphone on the nightstand and grabbed the antibiotic eye drops before following his lover into the bathroom.

The soft light from a single wall lamp cast a yellow semicircle on the floor, causing golden streaks to flare red on the dark marble.

Wearing only black boxers and a single sock, Kuon sat on the side of the tub.

One of his legs stretched over the marble edge; the other, still socked, touched the floor.

The dark window behind him reflected the bathroom, but the nightscape still bled through, showing the outline of the moon and the crowns of the black trees.

A single tennis shoe lay in the middle of the bathroom. Next to it stood a white box with a red cross on the side. A bunch of Band-Aids stuck out from under the half-closed lid. Above it, a pair of wet and dirty jeans was stuffed into the sink, one leg hanging out over the lip.

“Oh my, I left you for a moment, and you’ve already destroyed the bathroom.”

Kuon smirked, his eyes focused on his toes. Behind him, water poured into the large bathtub with noise, splashes, and steam. Droplets bounced off the tub and landed on his rounded back, casting a moiré effect on his scarred skin.

Fighting the urge to close the distance between them, Yugo leaned an elbow against a built-in shelf to his left. One of his legs casually crossed over the other as he watched the younger man struggle with the nail clipper. Gaze fixed on the Band-Aid around Kuon’s big toe, Yugo asked, “Need a hand?”

“Why? Are you afraid I’ll drown myself in the bathroom? Don’t worry; it’s not the river.” Slight annoyance rattled in Kuon’s voice. His movements became edgy and twitchy as he rolled his shoulders and cut Yugo with his glare. “Go away, you’re distracting me.”

“I’m not even watching,” Yugo lied with a grin, inching closer.

Click… His muscular back rounded even more as Kuon leaned closer to his foot, eyes narrowing . Click…

“Argh!” Kuon growled, clutching at his foot, his fingers stained red.

He straightened up, leveling Yugo with a dark, cryptic look, as if he wanted to blame him for his clumsiness.

Thinking better of it, he threw the nail clipper on the floor.

Metal clattered against marble, rattling as it spun. “Fuck it!”

Kuon glanced at the shallow water in the tub, as if wishing it would fill faster, then back at his bleeding toe. Steam swirled up, filling the bathroom, shrouding him in milky fog and an illusion of inaccessibility.

Jealousy struck. Yugo wanted to do the same. To lick every scar on that perfect body, to rub and knead those tense muscles, to bite and mark them. He wanted those dark, soulful eyes to watch him do it with a heavy haze of excitement.

Under his gaze, the younger man fidgeted, turned away, and hurriedly stepped into the tub without taking off his underwear and sock.

The look on his face shifted from determination to puzzlement as he stared at the water, which didn’t even reach his ankles.

In an obvious attempt to save face, he plumped down.

With his fist pressed to his mouth, Yugo fought back a grin. He’d already forgotten how much fun it was to watch an embarrassed Kuon. The clear flow of emotions on the scarred face was fresh yet so painfully familiar that it stirred a longing in his chest and beckoned him closer.

Yugo waited until the laughter no longer bubbled in his throat, then approached the nail clipper. He picked it up, put it in his pocket, and went toward the bathtub.

With an elbow on the rim and ribbons of steam swathing around his torso, Kuon watched Yugo’s every move warily but without hostility.

Droplets fanned out from his hand as he lifted it out of the water and brushed his chestnut hair back, spiking it.

His bent knees parted, revealing the soaked fabric that concealed his most intriguing parts.

Two buttons popped free from their holes as Yugo pulled at his collar, then circled the tub to stop behind Kuon.

The marble surround along the window wall left enough space for Yugo to reach the window from both sides and move around freely.

Yugo’s hand landed on Kuon’s smooth, wet chest, slid across his collarbones, then inched upward to clasp around his throat.

Kuon swallowed sharply, the movement reverberating against Yugo’s palm a second before Kuon’s chin lifted.

Yugo unscrewed the cap of the eye drop bottle with his teeth and turned it upside down.

One by one, two crystal drops tore from the plastic tip and hit Kuon’s eye, where the black zigzags of thread suturing his cornea stood out against his rich brown iris.

His pupils shrank, and his eyes filled with tears.

He blinked. The scar tissue darkened where the excess liquid ran down his temples.

Flawed. Mature. Rough. The former cop couldn’t look more different from what Yugo usually found attractive in men, yet he couldn’t stop looking at him.

The need to touch those scars, kiss them, lick them, and rewrite their origins corroded his blood; instead of doing so, he carefully repeated the ministration with the other eye.

Even when the bottle disappeared into his pocket, the brown, watery eyes kept looking at him in silent expectation. Rough lips parted. The trails on his temples glittered in the dim light as Kuon blinked again. His chin jerked in a silent demand for a kiss, and Yugo inched lower.

Their lips met. Velvet against velvet, his tongue brushed Kuon’s. A shuddering breath hit his throat. Powerful muscles flexed, veins swelling in his arms and lower abdomen as the younger man arched up.

Impatient fingers stabbed into Yugo’s shoulder and pulled him down.

His shirt soaked through under Kuon’s grip as the upside-down kiss deepened.

With lazy flicks of his tongue, Yugo explored the tender surface of Kuon’s mouth, swallowing the shaky breaths melting the air between them and the soft, needy noises coming from the back of his lover’s throat.

Yugo’s gaze feasted on a thick blue vein throbbing on Kuon’s corded neck, the golden light glinting off the water droplets on his broad chest, and the soaked fabric of his boxers strained over his swollen cock.

With a last long lick, Yugo pulled away.

Unwillingly, Kuon’s hand released his shoulder, leaving a cooling, damp spot.

Panting, they studied each other until Kuon lowered his chin.

Running his hand over Kuon’s shoulder blades, Yugo sat down next to him on the edge of the bathtub. His cock desperately wanted to play another game, but he ignored it, mentally preparing himself for what might be the first real conversation they’d ever had. “Go ahead, ask.”

“What’s the game?” Kuon rasped, fidgeting in the same kind of discomfort. The water rippled away from his hips as he rested his head back on Yugo’s thigh like a pillow and looked up with a heated gaze.

“Simon Says,” Yugo managed with a straight face.

“Simon Says? What are you, five?”

“Oh, it looks like you don’t want my answers. Fine with me.” Yugo shrugged and tried to get up when a wet hand grabbed his forearm and pulled him back to the edge.

“No, I’ll play. What are the rules?”

“Simple. You ask a question; Simon tells you what to do to get your answer.”

“I know how to play Simon Says. How do I know you’re not lying?”

“I give you my word. If that’s not enough, don’t play.” Yugo shrugged again. He didn’t intend to lie or tell the whole truth, but to say just enough to ease his lover’s mind.

“Can I ask you anything? Will you answer even the most uncomfortable questions?”

“You can try, but the price will be higher.”

“What if I ask something you refuse to answer?” With his eyes cautious and hair standing on end, Kuon resembled a wet sparrow. Yugo fought the urge to ruffle his hair, not sure if he would be able to stop once he started touching it. “Like something work-related?”

“Then you won’t get an answer. I’m not going to discuss my work with you. Not yet, anyway.”

“Fair enough…” Kuon muttered, but he didn’t look disappointed. “What if I refuse to comply?”

“Then I won’t answer. Not now, not later, so choose your questions wisely. Ask away.”