Page 15 of Doubts of the Egoist (Egoist #3)

“Answer my questions now, and I’ll thank you properly later,” he teased, struggling to believe such a reckless suggestion had left his lips.

His heart, racing with excitement, pumped blood into his cock, muting his instincts for self-preservation.

At this rate, he would soon be the one begging to be fucked.

But damn it, he missed Yugo. He missed his eyes and reactions.

He would have even agreed to the damn chains to see Yugo’s face flushed with pre-orgasmic pleasure.

But he also suspected that if he didn’t pursue the answers now, Yugo would find a million reasons to avoid them later.

A cheeky smile spread across Yugo’s lips.

“Later, you will do everything I want without a peep, and now you’ll play a game with me while I answer your questions.” As if sensing his hesitation, Yugo added, “Don’t worry. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

“Don’t push it.” Kuon wanted to punch Yugo in his arrogant face. “Choose one or the other.”

“Why would I?” Thin lips curled into a triumphant smile as the back of a slender index finger traced down Kuon’s cheek, then under his chin to lift his face up for a kiss. “You want to have sex as much as I do, but I’m not the one who needs answers.”

The hand let go and returned to the wall next to Kuon’s ear.

Realizing he had not only lost the argument, but had backed himself into a corner, Kuon wet his dry lips with his tongue. “No toys. No bondage. No hard kinks.”

“There’s no way I can refuse when you just told me you prefer my body to any toy. So, do we have a deal?”

The smug, annoying grin that had never promised anything good infuriated him.

“Fine,” Kuon said before his mind could process that by agreeing to this deal he basically untied Yugo’s hands. “Let’s get this stupid game over with.”

To his surprise, Yugo stepped away. “Go take a bath, or you’ll catch a cold. I’ll take care of dinner, sort out your medicine, and join you soon. Then, we’ll play.”

“What?” Kuon scowled, not wanting to let the subject go. A part of him had hoped that the game would be easy to play and finish quickly. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

“If sex must wait, so must your questions. Don’t want to get warm my way? Go take a bath, unless you’d rather I wash and spoon-feed you for old times’ sake.”

“I’m good.” Kuon gritted his teeth, pulled his T-shirt over his head, tossed it in Yugo’s face, and stomped into the bathroom.

As the door slammed behind him, Kuon switched on the night lamp, a faint yellow light bouncing off the dark Emperador marble floor. In the middle of the room, he kicked off his remaining tennis shoe, approached the bathtub, and turned on the water.

I should have agreed to get laid. At least I wouldn’t have to deal with this… He glared at the bulge in his jeans. Still a bit pissed about the way Yugo had twisted the conversation, he shucked off his jeans but froze, holding them in his hand.

The heat slowly dissipated from his body, and his focus, once again, returned to the black box in the hidden room.

How the fuck is it private? What’s there to hide? His train of thought turned to Tobias and Yugo’s reactions to Kuon’s absence. Paranoia set in. Am I really allowed to leave, or did Yugo say that simply to keep my mind at bay?

His gaze swept the room, searching for answers, but settled on the mirror instead. A muscular, scarred man with eyes better suited to a horror movie stared back. He didn’t want to look, but couldn’t stop staring. A thick knot formed in his throat, squeezing his windpipe.

“Quite a sight, huh?” he whispered as Tobias’ words crept into his mind. “Even though I’ve seen your pictures, you’re very different from what I imagined. Not his usual type, you know? Too flawed, too brawny. I wonder what he sees in you.”

Me too… How can he even get hard for this? He touched the ugly skin below his eye. His own arousal vanished.

Yugo isn’t wrong. Tobias got into my head with just a few lines.

Not that I wouldn’t reach the same conclusion after a glance in the mirror.

He fished the SIM card out of his jeans pocket, wondering if he should throw it away or give it to Yugo.

Before he could make up his mind, he was on his knees, opening the first aid kit he’d grabbed from the shelf.

He pulled out a new pack of Band-Aids, tore the wrapper, and stuck the SIM card to the bottom of the marble sink.

As he turned to toss the wrapper into the trash, his heart dropped. The garbage bag was pristine.

There’s no way Yugo would miss the wrapper in there.

If he sees it, he’ll ask questions. He squinted at the toilet, considering flushing the plastic, but would that clog the pipes?

Explaining why he needed a Band-Aid and disposed of the trash that way would be too problematic.

Instead, he grabbed a nail clipper and snapped off a thin piece of skin next to his big toe.

The sting made him grit his teeth, but his efforts paid off. Blood beaded, then trickled out.

Heavy drops stained the dark marble floor. After creating a convincing mess, Kuon grabbed another bandage and wrapped it around his big toe. He rolled the plastic between his sweaty palms into a tight ball and threw it into the trash can.

Heart-in-his-mouth, he perched on the edge of the large, square tub when his mind finally caught up with his actions. With an audible exhale, he lowered his head as guilt scratched at his ribcage like a trapped rat trying to escape.

What the hell am I doing? Shouldn’t I trust him a little more? Yugo told me I could leave if I wanted to. He’s never lied to me. He doesn’t have a single reason to start now.

He grimaced at the sink and froze as the memories of his captivity flooded his mind. Resignation and bitterness… Biting cold, snow, and blood… The despair, humiliation, crushing insignificance, and helplessness he’d experienced as Yugo’s prisoner washed over him, growing stronger by the second.

How can I forget everything and trust him?

I nearly killed myself. He wanted to cover his eyes with his hands and nurse his tangled emotions in the darkness, but his hands stopped an inch away as he remembered that he wasn’t supposed to touch them.

I’ll keep the SIM card. Not that I’ll ever use it. I don’t even have a phone.

Not knowing what else to do while the tub was filling, he grabbed the nail clipper again, put his foot on the marble edge of the tub, and started trimming his toenails.