Page 64 of Don’t Let Me Go

“They’re not picking up,” Audrey growls as she stares at her phone in frustration. She’s tried calling Duy, Jackson, and Caleb

more times than I can count, but no one’s answered. Not that I thought they would. That would mean that they’re safe. And

today no one is safe.

Even so, my heart surges with hope every time a bruised and bloody park guest staggers out of the base of the crumbling pyramid.

Some of the traumatized stragglers are limping. Others are crying and clinging to loved ones for support. All their faces

are twisted in disbelief and terror, but none of those faces belong to my friends.

“Keep back! Everyone, please keep back!” a park employee barks at the large crowd gathering to watch the grisly spectacle.

More of the pyramid collapses in on itself with a horrifying crunch, and another entire floor disappears. At this rate, it’s

only a matter of minutes before the entire building implodes.

“What happened?” a woman asks in a stunned voice behind me.

“I don’t know,” another woman answers. “I heard someone say something about a total structural collapse.”

“What does that mean?”

I know what it means. It means Jackson and Duy and Caleb and anyone else who doesn’t make it out in the next few minutes will

be buried alive. Assuming there’s anyone inside who’s still alive.

Why didn’t we listen to Jocasta?

She told us something like this would happen. She fucking warned us.

As soon as I saw Jackson walk through the park gates, I should’ve run in the opposite direction. I should never have let him

convince me to get back together. We knew what would happen. We knew the universe would try to kill us.

Except...

Except the universe isn’t trying to kill us , is it?

Jackson’s the one in danger. He’s the one about to be crushed under twelve stories of roller-coaster rubble. Not me. I’m safe.

How is that possible?

In all our past lives, whenever we died, Jackson and I always died together . I thought that was the rule. I thought that was the whole point. We die together and then we come back together. But if

Jackson dies and I don’t, what happens then?

A chill creeps down my spine, turning my blood to ice.

Jocasta said that the reason Jackson and I were allowed to remember our past lives this time around was because the universe

wanted us to understand what would happen if we didn’t break the cycle. She thought it was giving us a choice: We could stay

together and die or break up and live. But maybe she was wrong.

Maybe this is the choice.

Jackson is going to die. I know that with every molecule of my being. And I can watch it happen and break the cycle and never

see him again in this life or any other life, or ...

“Where are you going?” Audrey barks, grabbing my arm as I start to slip through the crowd toward the burning pyramid.

“It’s okay,” I say, flashing her and Tala as brave a smile as I can muster. I want them to remember me smiling. “Everything’s

going to be okay.”

Before she can say anything, I pull free and race toward Galaxy Peak.

“Hey, what are you doing?” a park employee shouts as I barrel past him. “Come back here!”

Above me I hear the tearing of metal and the shattering of glass as more of the silver structure collapses. I force myself

to block it out, just like I block out the sight of the wounded park guests trickling out of the pyramid and the sound of

Audrey’s and Tala’s cries begging me to come back.

I race to the entrance of the roller coaster and dart inside. There I find myself in a large, cavernous room cheaply decorated

to look like a cross between NASA’s Mission Control and the Death Star. It’s an odd, disjointed mash-up of two worlds made

all the more ominous by the fact that the room is deserted and almost completely dark. Only a few red emergency lights flicker

overhead.

With the fire alarm blaring over the speakers and the pungent smell of smoke wafting through the air, I feel like I’ve stepped

into some crazy sci-fi disaster movie. I should be terrified. But as I make my way down the long winding corridor that leads

to the roller-coaster tracks, I’m too full of purpose to be frightened.

All that matters is finding Jackson and my friends.

I reach the boarding zone of the ride, where several empty roller-coaster carts shaped like rocket ships sit on a track that

leads into a pitch-black tunnel. I take out my phone, turn on the flashlight, and aim the beam into the winding darkness.

Then I carefully step onto the tracks and set off into the heart of the pyramid.

The air grows staler and smokier the deeper I move into the tunnels. Every twenty feet or so, I pass overturned rocket ships

that have been abandoned in the chaos. I assume everyone who was in them got out safely because I don’t see any bodies. That’s

a good sign.

Then again, I’m still on the lowest level of the ride. There are probably eight floors of track between where I am and what’s now the top of the pyramid. Jackson, Duy, and Caleb could be on any of those floors. And if they were on one of the levels that’s already collapsed...

No.

I push the thought out of my head. I have to believe they’re alive.

I climb up a steep incline of track, passing cheap papier-maché models of Jupiter and Saturn. The passage levels off as I

reach the next floor, where I have to climb over two rocket ships that must have collided because they’re both overturned

and blocking the track. There’s just enough room for me to squeeze over their bulky frames, and when I do, I spy a flicker

of light coming from around the curve of the tunnel up ahead.

“Hello?” I call out.

“Hello!” a familiar voice shouts back.

“Duy!”

“Riley?”

Hope courses through my veins. I scramble down the tracks and around the curve, and the sight that greets me almost makes

me weep for joy.

In the light of their smartphones, a very-much-not-dead Duy is leaning over a very-much-not-dead Jackson attempting to lift

an overturned rocket ship off his legs.

“You’re alive!” I shout as a sob of relief bursts from my throat. I’m so overcome, I can hardly believe my eyes. Neither can

Jackson. He looks at me like I’m a ghost.

“What are you doing here?” he asks.

“I came to find you.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Clearly. Are you all right?”

“Of course he’s not all right,” Duy snaps. “This stupid spaceship weighs a ton. So maybe save the conversation for later and

help me get this off him.”

They don’t have to tell me twice. I drop to my knees, and together we put our backs into trying to shift the overturned rocket.

But after a few minutes of grunting, straining, and pushing with every ounce of our strength, Duy and I have nothing to show

for our efforts except cramped muscles and a heavy coat of sweat.

“It’s no use,” Jackson says, letting out a defeated sigh. “I told you, it’s too heavy. You’re not gonna be able to lift it.”

“We just need more help. Where’s Caleb?” I suddenly remember to ask.

“Over here,” a feeble voice answers. I cast my phone’s light farther down the tracks and see Caleb huddled against a wall.

Blood trickles down his face from a nasty gash across his forehead. And his right arm, clutched against his chest, is bent

at such an unnatural angle, it must be broken.

“Where the hell is the park staff?” Duy asks. “Aren’t they coming to help?”

I shake my head.

“Why not?”

As if in response, a violent crash shakes the entire pyramid down to its foundation.

Jackson looks at me nervously. “What was that?”

“Galaxy Peak is collapsing,” I answer. “The whole roller coaster is imploding floor by floor.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell us?” Duy demands. “We have to get out of here!” But as soon as the words are out of their mouth,

Duy remembers Jackson, and their face falls.

“It’s okay,” I assure them. “I’ll stay and help Jackson. You get Caleb out of here. There are a couple of overturned rockets blocking the tracks, so you’re going to have to help him climb over them. But other than that, the path is clear.”

Duy shakes their head. “We can’t leave you.”

“It’s okay. We’ll be okay. Right, Jackson?”

I catch Jackson’s eye, hoping he understands my meaning.

“Right.” He nods. “You should get Caleb out of here.”

Duy opens their mouth to protest, but Caleb lets out a low moan and clutches his broken arm.

“Okay,” Duy concedes with a reluctant nod. “We’ll send someone to help you guys as soon as we’re out.”

I force myself to smile as if Jackson and I have all the time in the world. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay.” A second

later, though, my confidence falters. “But just in case, if for some reason you see my dad before I do, would you tell him?.?.?.?tell

him I love him. And tell him I finally figured out what I want to do with my life.”

In the light of my phone, I can see Duy working out the implications of what I said. I’m afraid they’re going to insist on

staying with me or try to convince me to leave with them. Instead, Duy pulls me into a hug and holds me tighter than their

tiny frame should allow.

Nearby, something heavy and metal collapses with a deafening bang , and we jump apart.

“You need to go,” I tell them.

Wiping their eyes, Duy nods. Without wasting another second, they hurry over to Caleb and help him stand. Then the two of

them carefully make their way down the track toward the exit.

“You should go too,” Jackson says, his voice gentle but firm.

In the dim light of the tunnel, I can see his blue eyes are filled with a placid resignation. It’s impossible for me to look away from them as I listen to the metal bones of the roller coaster snap and sag under the weight of its collapsing body.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I answer as I sit on the floor beside him.

“Don’t be stupid,” Jackson protests. “You know what’s gonna happen. There’s no point in both of us dying. I’m the one who

screwed up and pushed us to get back together. This is my fault. I’m the one who deserves to die. Not you. You need to go,

okay? Before it’s too late. Please . Just go.”

“And what am I supposed to do after I go?” I ask.

“You live.”

“Without you?” I shake my head.

Given the circumstances, I’m surprised at how calm I feel. Maybe because, despite how inevitable this ending is for Jackson

and me, I know it’s not an ending. Jackson and I have no ending.

When one song ends, another always begins.

“Riley, listen to me,” Jackson pleads. “If we die together, we’re just gonna end up reincarnated again. And then we’re gonna

die again. And again. And again.”

“I know,” I answer. “But we’ll also get to live again. And again. And again.”

“Even so, I can’t ask you to do this.”

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. Besides, you would do the same.”

Jackson sighs and shakes his head, but he doesn’t contradict me. He knows he could never leave me if our roles were reversed.

Despite this, I can tell he’s still conflicted about my decision, so I take his hand in mine and smile.

“You are half my soul, Jackson. You are the person that I am meant to spend my life with. Not just this life. Every life. And I don’t care if that pisses off the universe or if we’re breaking its precious rules.

I don’t care if it keeps swatting us like flies.

I can take the swatting. I can die a million times if it means I get the chance to live a million more lives with you.

Because I’m not afraid of dying. The only thing I’m afraid of is having to live one minute of my life without you. ”

Jackson is silent as he struggles to find his words. When he does, he looks at me with so much tenderness, my heart can hardly

bear it.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure.”

Jackson takes both my hands in his and squeezes them. “We only got to be together for a few weeks this time around. What if

in the next life it’s even less? What if we only get a few days? Or a few hours?”

“What if we get the full eighteen years?”

The thought of us sharing almost two full decades coaxes a grin from Jackson. “You know there’s a good chance we probably

won’t remember any of this. We’re gonna be starting from scratch again. We might not even recognize each other.”

I bring his left hand to my lips and kiss it, then the right, and then I press both his hands against my heart. My heart that

will always be his.

“I’ll find you,” I promise. “Whatever happens, wherever we end up, no matter how many times we die or how many times we come

back, I’ll find you.”

“Not if I find you first.”

The tunnel around us shakes as more of the roller coaster implodes overhead. Under the weight of who knows how many collapsed

floors, the roof buckles and groans above us. A sound like a low, desperate moan echoes in our ears, then slowly and steadily

builds into an angry scream. Like a wild beast dying. Like the universe howling.

With an earsplitting screech, the tunnel finally collapses. Jackson throws his arms around me, pulls me to his chest, and holds me so tightly that it becomes impossible to know where he ends and I begin.

“I love you,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “In this life and every life.”

“I love you too,” I answer. “In this life and every life.”

Shutting my eyes, I listen as the universe roars. It sounds like crashing metal, shattering glass, and an eternity of outrage.

Over all of that, though, I hear Jackson. His voice is strong and clear and full of the future.

“Don’t let me go.”