Page 62 of Don’t Let Me Go

I can’t believe I just agreed to consider getting back together with Jackson. I must be out of my mind. At the same time,

I can’t deny how incredible it feels to hold his hand again. It doesn’t just feel good, it feels right. Not that I’m surprised.

Being with him has always felt right. And I’m finding it harder and harder to believe that we’re going to be punished for

that feeling.

Even if we are, part of me thinks it might be worth it.

“Aww!” Tala coos as she bounces over to our table. She’s holding an enormous waffle cone loaded with ice cream, pistachios,

and whipped cream. “Did it work? Did we Parent Trap you into getting back together?”

I snatch my hand away from Jackson’s and wipe my eyes as the rest of our friends make their way over to us.

“No, we’re not getting back together,” I announce, jumping up from the bench. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jackson flinch, so I add,

“At least, not right now.”

“Right,” Jackson says, also rising from the table. “We still?.?.?.?uh... we still have some stuff we need to figure out.”

Audrey rolls her eyes. “Ugh, seriously?”

“Look, we really appreciate what you guys are trying to do,” Jackson says. “Riley and I just need more time.”

“How much time?” Duy huffs.

Jackson casts an uncertain glance my way, then puts on a brave smile. “Like Riley said, we’re still figuring that out. In the meantime, though, I should give Riley his space, so I’m gonna go. I’ll order a Lyft to take me home.”

As I’d expected, Jackson’s decision to leave is greeted with cries of protest.

“You can’t go. You just got here,” Tala insists. “You haven’t even ridden any rides.”

“That’s okay,” Jackson answers, already edging toward the exit. “I’ll come back another time.”

“Oh my gosh, don’t be ridiculous,” Duy exclaims. “You already paid fifty bucks to get in. And you were so excited to go on

Galaxy Peak! Right, Caleb?”

Caleb looks taken aback. The poor guy clearly has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. I suspect that all he wanted out

of this day was to ride some roller coasters. Now here he is, caught up in the messy relationship drama of two guys he barely

knows. To his credit, though, he gamely plays his part. “Uh?.?.?.?yeah. You’ve gotta ride at least one ride, man.”

“I don’t want to crash Riley’s special day,” Jackson counters. But Duy is already wrapping a hand around one of his arms and

halting his retreat.

“Riley won’t care if you ride one roller coaster,” they insist. “He doesn’t even have to come with us! It’ll just be you and me. And Caleb, of course! The

three of us can go for a spin on Galaxy Peak and then afterward, if you still want, you can go back to your boring life of

not hanging out with us and being sad all the time.”

“I can’t—”

“It’ll be super-quick. Come on, Caleb. We’re taking Jackson to the stars!”

Caleb dutifully grabs Jackson’s other arm, then he and Duy proceed to drag Jackson into the bowels of the park.

Releasing a sigh of exasperation, I turn back to Audrey and see a satisfied smirk spread across her face.

“You have to stop,” I tell her.

Audrey arches an eyebrow and licks a dribble of strawberry ice cream from her fingers. Under the hot July sun, her and Tala’s

cones are already melting into a sticky mess.

“And you need to get back together with Jackson,” she responds flatly. “You obviously miss each other.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It fucking is.”

“Riley, maybe if you explained to us what the actual problem is, we could help,” Tala suggests diplomatically. She sits at

the picnic table and then gestures for me to do the same.

“You wouldn’t understand,” I sigh as I flop down beside her.

“Why wouldn’t we understand?”

“Because you’ll both think I’m crazy.”

“We’re not going to think you’re crazy,” Tala assures me.

“Yes, you are.”

“Riley, we love you. You can tell us anything.”

Tala and Audrey stare at me with pleading eyes. They both want to help me so much. And right now, I do need help.

I take a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll tell you everything. But for real, you’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“Riley, look at me,” Tala says. “I promise: This is a safe space. No one is going to think you’re crazy.”

“You’re fucking crazy ,” Audrey exclaims.

I just finished telling her and Tala about everything that’s happened to Jackson and me over the past month, and (unsurprisingly)

Audrey is now staring at me like I’ve either lost my goddamn mind or never had one to begin with.

“Witches? Reincarnation? Past lives ?” Audrey throws her arms up in the air like she’s asking the universe if it also sees how ridiculous I am.

“I know,” I sigh. “It’s a lot.”

“It’s bananas!”

“Babe,” Tala gently chides her, “remember what we discussed about respecting other people’s beliefs even if they differ from

our own?”

“T., he’s talking about being a Viking . That’s not a belief. That’s brain damage.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” I grumble.

“No, you shouldn’t have let some con artist convince you to break up with your boyfriend because you guys had a couple of

bad dreams!”

“They weren’t dreams. They were—never mind. It doesn’t matter. You’re never going to believe me.”

“Riley, wait!” Tala says as I start to rise. “We believe you.”

“We do?” Audrey asks.

Tala kicks her under the table, then flashes me a reassuring if somewhat artificial smile. “We believe that you believe that

your life will be in danger if you date Jackson. That’s not crazy.”

“It’s not?”

“No,” Tala insists. “I feel the same way about dating Audrey.”

I sit back down. “You do?”

“Sometimes,” she clarifies. “I see the looks we get when we’re together in public. I hear the comments. It can be scary. And

even though I try to stay positive and not let that fear affect me, a part of me is always a little afraid—afraid someone

won’t like seeing two girls kissing and decide that they need to do something about it.”

Despite the noon heat, Tala shivers. Audrey reaches out and takes her hand.

“What I’m saying is, it’s not crazy to be afraid,” Tala continues.

“When you’re queer and in a relationship, you’re always going to be a target.

Especially in Florida. But that doesn’t mean you should be afraid of love.

Love is how we get through the fear to something better. Love is how we get to hope.”

“Exactly,” Audrey agrees. “That’s all I was trying to say.”

“Sure, babe.” With a chuckle, Tala leans over the table and kisses Audrey’s cheek.

Seeing their love for each other and how happy it makes them, I want to believe Tala’s words more than I’ve ever wanted to

believe anything. Because if she’s right, if on the other side of fear there’s hope, then despite Jocasta’s warning and all

our visions of death and doom, there’s still hope for Jackson and me.

Maybe I just need to stop being afraid. Because regardless of all the things that I don’t understand about my life right now,

there is one thing that I know is true.

I love Jackson Haines.

“I think?.?.?.?I think I’m going to go find Jackson,” I say, once again rising from the bench.

Audrey nods approvingly. “And I think that’s a great idea.”

“Do you know which way I go to get to Galaxy Peak?”

“Yeah, I think you just—”

Audrey doesn’t finish her sentence. She’s cut off when a large, deafening crash shakes the air like thunder, almost knocking

me off my feet.

“What the fuck was that?” Audrey shouts, leaping up from the table.

Over the tops of the faux-colonial storefronts, a dark plume of smoke rises from somewhere deep in the park.

“Is that a fire?” Tala asks, nervously reaching for Audrey’s hand. “Did something explode?”

A chill runs down my spine.

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m tearing down the street, winding through groups of confused tourists as I race past whirling

rides and blinking lights. Somewhere behind me, Audrey calls my name, but I keep running.

I have to find Jackson.

My heart is racing. A cold sweat clings to my skin. But those things are nothing compared to the bottomless pit of dread that

opens in my stomach.

I know what’s happening. And why it’s happening. Despite this, I still hope against hope that I’m wrong.

But I’m not wrong.

When I turn onto one of the wider thoroughfares, I see the cause of the commotion and it stops me in my tracks. It’s Galaxy

Peak. From the corny commercials, I instantly recognize the enormous, futuristic-looking silver pyramid that houses the massive

indoor roller coaster. Only the pyramid in front of me is very different from the one on TV. It’s lost its gleaming tip. That’s

collapsed, leaving a massive hole at the top of the structure through which a raging column of black smoke is being belched

into the air by the fire below.

“Holy fuck,” Audrey exclaims as she and Tala appear beside me, both of them panting for breath. “What happened?”

The three of us stare at the nightmare in front of us. People and families are scrambling out of the exit at the pyramid’s

base, screaming in terror as more of the silver structure collapses in on itself.

Tala covers her mouth as her face goes pale. “Duy, Jackson, and Caleb are in there...”

“We don’t know that,” Audrey says, trying to reassure her.

But of course they’re in there. I know that with an absolute and crushing certainty.

Jocasta warned us that something would happen on my birthday if we didn’t stay away from each other. We didn’t listen. Now

it’s too late.

Jackson and I are out of time.