Page 38 of Don’t Leave (Stay #2)

CASSIDY

I ’ve spent most of today camped out at the library with the exception of two classes. Now that Christmas break is right around the corner, it seems like almost every course has a paper due. My books are spread out all over the table as I tap away on my laptop.

Every time I begin to feel overwhelmed, I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath. Once my heart no longer feels like it’s being squeezed in a vise grip, I look over the list I’ve compiled to prioritize all my assignments.

It’s taken a lot of hard work to get my grades up to where they were before Thanksgiving break.

I refuse to blow it now that we’re in the homestretch.

After my breakup with Cole, I’d let some of my classwork slide.

Thankfully, Brooklyn was there to slap some sense into me, and I’ve been able to bounce back.

Getting through that experience was tough, but it made me realize that life will always have its ups and downs. What’s important is that you push through the bad times until they’re behind you.

Unfortunately, curling up in bed and crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s isn’t an option.

All right, it is an option.

And a tasty one at that.

But it isn’t a long-term solution to flunking out of school.

I’m proud of myself for getting through the situation without shutting down and falling apart.

Even more than that, I’m excited to put this semester behind me and to show my parents that I’m not the screwup they assumed I was when I crashed and burned last year.

They’ve both made a point to tell told me how proud they are, but it’ll still be nice to show them the tangible proof.

And it’ll be nice to see it for myself.

I’m three hours in, editing my psych paper, when I realize that someone has sidled up to my table.

I glance up, startled to find Jackie. The muscles in my belly contract as I brace myself for this unwelcome conversation.

We haven’t spoken since the Halloween party and quite frankly, I don’t really need a repeat of that.

Especially since Cole and I aren’t together.

What surprises me even more than finding her here is the tentative smile curving her lips. “Do you mind if I sit down for a minute? I’ve been hoping we would run into each other.”

“Ahhh…” My voice trails off as my brain spins. I have no idea what we could possibly have to talk about.

Her smile falters as she whispers, “Please?”

That’s all it takes for me to cave.

I gesture halfheartedly to the chair parked across from me and mutter, “I’m in the middle of writing a paper.”

She settles on the chair before tucking a few strands of blonde hair behind her ear. Her gaze skitters away from mine before returning. “I wanted to apologize for ambushing you at the Halloween party. It was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it.”

My brows rise in surprise. Whatever I was expecting her to say, that wasn’t it. Not by a long shot.

I clear my throat. “Um, okay. Thanks.”

“At that point, I guess I was still hoping Cole and I could work everything out between us.” She shrugs. “Maybe even pick back up where we left off before I…” her voice trails off awkwardly as color rushes to her cheeks.

Since I can’t blame her for wanting Cole back, I nod in understanding.

Who wouldn’t want to be with him?

He’s one of the best guys I know.

And it’s obvious that Jackie feels the same way.

“So…you tried to work everything out with him?” I ask softly.

Sadness seeps into her eyes. “Yeah, we actually had a really good conversation last weekend.”

When she falls silent, my muscles tighten and it feels like I’m waiting with bated breath for her to continue.

“But it’s not going to happen. I…” She blinks and glances away.

For one horrible moment it looks like she might actually break down.

There’s no way I can console this girl about not being with the guy I want.

Thankfully, she rallies at the last second before the tears can fall.

“I really screwed up and there’s no way to repair the damage I inflicted. Hurting Cole is something I’ll regret for the rest of my life.” She searches my gaze for a long moment. “I hope you realize what an amazing guy he is.”

Even though I’m loathe to admit it to her, I say, “Cole and I aren’t together.”

I have no idea what prompts me to be honest with her. The girl is Cole’s ex. I don’t owe her anything…but still.

“He told me.”

I’m taken off guard that she would know about the demise of our relationship. For all I know, she’s here to gloat.

I search her gaze, half-expecting to see victory or happiness dancing gleefully in her eyes. Surprisingly, there’s no pleasure in her expression.

“Then whatever you need to say is moot.”

She straightens before pressing forward. “Is it?”

I blink, unsure how to answer her.

“I don’t know,” I whisper.

Her lips flatten into a tight line as she rolls her eyes.

Yeah, that’s right. The girl actually rolls her eyes at me.

Cole’s ex-girlfriend. The one who desperately wanted him back. She’s annoyed with me for not knowing if a relationship will work out between us.

It’s definitely a little strange.

Maybe more than a little.

“If you love Cole and want him back, then do something about it.” Sorrow flashes in her eyes.

“If he’s the best thing that ever happened to you, then don’t let him slip through your fingers.

Do something about it before it’s too late.

” She rises to her feet. “I’ll let you get back to work.

” After a couple of steps, she swings back around.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t let him go. ”

I’m not sure why Jackie felt compelled to seek me out, but I’m grateful she did. “Thank you.”

Even though a smile tips the corners of her lips, unhappiness shimmers around her. “You’re welcome.”

Before she can disappear around a bookshelf, I say, “Jackie.”

This time, when she turns, one dark brow is raised. And I realize all over again how pretty she is and how perfectly suited her and Cole are for each other. In my mind, I can imagine them together.

“Are you still in love with him?”

“I’ll always be in love him,” she says. “Somehow, I need to find a way to live with my mistakes and move on.”

Even though I shouldn’t ask, the question trips off my tongue. “How do you know he won’t change his mind?”

Her shoulders collapse under the weight of her answer. “Because what we had is over and there’s no going back.”

In a weird way, I can sympathize with her pain.

“I’m sorry. I understand what it’s like to live with regrets. To pick up all the pieces and try to glue them all back together again. It’s not easy.”

With a tilt of her head, her gaze sharpens on mine. She smiles as if seeing me for the first time. “Under different circumstances, I think we could have been friends.”

“Maybe,” I say in return.

In a small way, we’re kindred spirits. We’ve both made mistakes and have regrets. We’re also working to put our lives back together again.

She jerks a thumb over shoulder. “I need to get going. It was nice talking with you, Cassidy. Good luck.”

“You too,” I say softly.

For a long stretch of minutes, everything Jackie said churns through my head. Decision made, I grab my phone and fire off a message. There’s something I need to take care of before I meet up with Cole tomorrow morning.

Something that never should have flared to life.