Page 8

CHAPTER

FIVE

REMI

Paranoia steals the joy from everything.

I glance at the clock on the center touchscreen of Cortland’s blacked-out truck. It looks like a spaceship and it’s so big in here, I feel like a kid in the black leather seat.

It’s only ten at night and the darkness outside of the tinted windows gives us an illusion of privacy. And in reality, we’re pretty secluded. He parked at the far end of Hyde Park in Ellicottville, where the mountains can be seen jutting up into the night sky beneath the full moon overhead.

My heart flutters as I glance at the pale sphere through his windshield.

But even still, with the night, the stillness, the mid-July air drifting in through the cracked windows, the hair on the back of my neck stands on end because… he could be here.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Cort asks me, his thumb trailing over the back of my hand, ours entwined together over the giant center console.

Another flutter of my heart. Butterflies in my stomach.

For a second, I can’t even look at him.

How did I get here?

I inhale, catching a heady combination of the leather interior of the truck and Cortland’s woodsy scent. Like cedar. Or fall.

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hide my smile.

I turn to look at him, his face lit by the dash lights, making the piercing in his lower lip gleam and his charcoal eyes nearly silver. He smiles too, and I see a dimple flash in his cheek as his plush lips curve upward.

He’s the epitome of boy-next-door with a hot as hell edge.

He tilts his head and my heart thrums too fast in my chest as I realize I didn’t answer his question, because I’m too busy staring at his lips.

Embarrassed, my eyes drift up to his.

“I know you’re quiet, Remi, but I can see it in your eyes.”

Heat rises from my neck up to my cheeks. I squirm in my seat, aware that I’m showing all signs of my discomfort, but I can’t seem to stop. “See what?” I ask him, my voice hoarse.

He flashes a smile and I note the imperfections of his teeth. They’re so white, but slightly crooked, which always struck me as odd. His mom works for one of the wealthiest law firms in the state, and I’ve seen the Adler mansion. It’s where we’re headed, after this.

Wolves territory.

Nerves cause sweat to dampen the back of my neck, and I run my hand through my dark blonde hair, trying to cool myself off.

Just relax, Rems.

“Everything,” he answers me, shifting in his seat to face me more fully, his seatbelt off.

He has one hand on the wheel, and I note the veins over the back of it, leading up to his corded forearms. His skin is tan, evidence of all his time spent outdoors.

There’s a splash of freckles across his face, over his nose.

I stare at them as I try to think through what he just said, but I keep wondering the same thing…

how did I end up here? Cortland isn’t loud, never commanding the center of attention, but everyone at West seemed to orbit around him.

Maya, the cheerleading captain, was the first girl he dated when he transferred.

But I saw his lingering looks.

Maya did, too, and she made sure I knew it.

I wince as I think about when I dismounted at practice, the day she caught him staring at me during lunch when I was sitting with Sloane, my nose in a book. She “dropped” me, and my other two spotters couldn’t keep me upright.

I twisted my ankle, but it could’ve been so much worse.

I never told Cort that. They broke up soon after, and it seemed like karma was working in my favor for once.

And after graduation, he asked me out.

I don’t know what he sees in me, but this summer has been magic. At least, in the few stolen moments Silas has had trips to handle business for his construction equipment company and I can sneak out. Only a handful of times, and never long enough, but Cortland never seems to complain.

Next week, we go off to college.

And there are still things we haven’t done. Things that might indicate we could be together long-term. I’ve never met his family. He’s never met mine—thinking of my stepdad finding out I have a boyfriend makes me want to vomit.

And we haven’t had sex.

Nothing more than making out.

Mainly because of how we choose to spend our time. In his truck. At the park. Movie theater, hole-in-the-wall restaurants that I choose, knowing Silas nor his connections would ever go there.

“No boys. No sex. Don’t be fucking stupid, Remi.”

I swallow down the tightness in my throat and glance down at our hands. Silas won’t be home until tomorrow night, well after I’ve gone to bed. I have his flight itinerary in my email.

Still, my nerves feel raw as they do every time I lie to Silas.

Tonight, he thinks I’m with my best friend, Sloane. But Slo is down at the coast; her older sister due to give birth any day now. Silas doesn’t care much about Sloane because her family is middle class and anything that doesn’t bring my stepdad connections is worthless to him.

Including, for the most part, me.

“Baby,” Cort says, and my breath catches with that word. I look up, feeling my cheeks heat again. I run my clammy palm over my destroyed blue jeans, hidden in Sloane’s locker because the only time Silas thinks it’s appropriate for me to show any skin is in my cheerleading uniform.

“Boys don’t like used goods, Remi.”

A chill crawls down my spine.

Another memory surfaces. His lingering looks after Mom passed.

I push it back.

“Yeah?” I ask Cort, forcing a smile.

“What’s wrong?”

You’re leaving me soon. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m sorry I’m pathetic. I’m sorry I’m not outgoing like Maya. That I can’t spend much time with you because of my stepdad. I’m sorry I’m not good enough to meet your parents.

“Nothing,” I lie, a lump in my throat.

“You sure you want to go to this party tonight?” he asks me, his brow furrowed. “We could skip it.”

“It’s at your house,” I tell him with a small smile. His family is out of town. His dad is a trucker, his brother is staying with his uncle in West Virginia before school starts, and his mom is working, I guess.

Three people in his life that he shares the most space with. Three people I’ve never met, just caught glimpses of from afar at football games. I’ve had boyfriends before, but nothing as serious as this. A little sad, considering he probably doesn’t think this is very serious.

He lifts up one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I don’t give a fuck. I only want to be with you.”

Such pretty words. I smile despite what I know them to be. Just words. “No, we can go.” I think of who will be there. Chase, Brinklin, and Storm, his closest friends. They walked around West River like they owned the place, and I guess, because they were on the team, they kind of did.

I’m glad I’m dropping cheerleading. I hope Mom won’t be disappointed, if she’s watching me from somewhere. But she’s been dead for almost a decade now.

Suddenly I feel heavy with grief, but I try to let that memory go.

Cortland sighs, nodding toward his lap. “Come here,” he says.

My blood heats, and for a second, I don’t move. “There?” I ask him, eyeing his long legs, clad in black pants that mold to his muscular thighs.

He smiles, tugging my hand slightly. “Yep.”

I swallow down my nerves, glancing at the console between us. He reaches his hand from the steering wheel to move his seat back, giving me plenty of room to sit on his lap.

“Come on, Remi, I want you in my lap.” His tone is low, that husky, slight Southern drawl to his words stealing my breath.

I bring one leg up to the seat as I turn toward him, my white Chuck leaving a print on the black leather.

I glance at it, fear washing over me in a hot, uncomfortable wave.

He laughs, setting me at ease. “I don’t give a fuck if you get my truck dirty.” There’s an insinuation in those words that has my pulse flying, my face burning.

I awkwardly climb over the console, his hands on my hips as he helps me. My knees sink into the seat, on either side of him as I straddle his lap, my arms around his neck.

I inhale, trying to catch my breath, and his woodsy scent hits me hard as his hands slip under my thin, black shirt, his fingers hot on my skin.

My nipples pebble and he jerks me closer, my brow to his as he looks up at me through long, dark lashes.

“God, you feel so good,” he says quietly, his lip ring brushing against my bottom lip.

I’m sweating, nervous as his hands trail higher under my shirt, brushing against my grey bralette.

“Yeah?” I whisper softly, feeling clumsy but not knowing what else to say.

He shifts his hips and I can feel his erection under me.

I’ve always wanted to make him feel good. I’ve watched porn. I know about sex and blowjobs and guys going down on girls. I’ve just never done it.

And I know he and Maya have “fucked like rabbits” as she made sure to tell me when she stalked off from graduation, her blue eyes narrowed on mine, middle finger in my face. He told her to fuck off, and she did, but not before she said what she wanted to say.

It’s a good thing my stepdad didn’t bother to show up. He was working.

“Yes,” Cortland answers me, and I smell mint on his breath. I wonder what my own smells like. His fingers brush the unlined cups of my bra and my core heats. “Kiss me.”

I smile at his command, my fingers in the slight wave of his thick, dark hair.

I do as he asked, but it becomes a different kind of kiss as his lips part, his tongue on mine.

His hand winds in my hair, his other squeezes my breast and I gasp against him, shifting my hips on his erection, a small whimper leaving my mouth.

He smiles against my lips, his piercing brushing my bottom one, his tongue twirling around mine.

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he says, his words echoing on my mouth. He pulls back, nipping at my bottom lip, tugging it between us.

That warmth in my core turns to molten lava as he bites me, my eyes wide, but I don’t want him to stop.