Page 73

CHAPTER

FIFTY-TWO

CORTLAND

The noise from the stadium is drowned out in my anger, my pulse pounding in my ears. I’m calling plays and I can’t even hear myself talking. All I can think about is her in my living room last night. Her confessions. The tone of her voice, fucking broken. The confusion in my head.

All I can think about is finding Silas and gutting him.

I’ve never wanted to kill a man I’ve never met before, but there’s a first time for everything.

But even still, the guilt I’ve wrestled with for over a year isn’t abated with her words.

If anything, it makes me feel worse. Nothing was clear cut that night, and I know I should have walked away, with her.

But hearing her say she hadn’t planned on going to the police, that her stepfather bullied her into it…

I don’t know what the fuck to think about it.

“Something bad happened to Remi,” she said he’d said.

Yeah, motherfucker. I’m the one who fucking did it. And something bad just might happen to you, too.

When I rip my helmet off on the sidelines after the game, running both hands through my hair, I can’t stop thinking about it. About her. Him. That night. It’s all playing on a loop all over again, making me feel fucking insane.

It doesn’t help that I didn’t sleep. That Storm had nothing to say about her confession, like he couldn’t give less than a fuck. Like he wasn’t at all upset with her.

It doesn’t help that I’m fucking crazy about her, but I know this will never work, and I’m looking for any excuse to end it. And I know she’s right. I know her tears should’ve been enough. I know the entire night should’ve never happened.

But what I don’t know is what to do now.

“Cort!” My name from Maya’s lips makes me turn in the parking lot reserved for players and their families, tucked away behind the convocation center.

I grit my teeth as I see Maya and Chase walking toward me, and not a few steps behind them is my fucking mother.

I toss my bag in the truck, close the door and turn to face the three people I have no interest in seeing, ever again. In my life.

I know Dad was in the stands today too, and he’s waiting for me at the house, and hopefully Tristan is there as well. He missed the game like he’s missed most of mine because he doesn’t want to be around Mom, and while it hurts a little, I also don’t blame him.

Her highlighted hair falls around her shoulders, and she’s wearing a black and orange EU shirt and a self-satisfied smile on her face as she reaches me, along with Maya and Chase.

“Good game today, man,” Chase says, and he lifts a hand, like he’s going to clap me on the back, but I narrow my eyes, and he slips his hand into his khakis instead. Clearly, he didn’t learn his fucking lesson when I had my hand around his throat in my kitchen.

Maya twirls a curl of dark brown hair around her finger, beaming at me.

“Why are you here?” I ask her, my eyes locked on her big blue ones.

She feigns a pout, but it’s my mother who speaks. “That’s rude, Cortland. Don’t be rude.”

I shift my gaze to her, folding my arms over my chest. “Okay, I’ll ask you then. Why are you here?”

She arches a brow, fluttering her fake lashes.

She’s so unlike my dad, it’s unreal. I don’t even recognize this fucking woman, but then again, she’s always been a bitch.

Maybe she was different growing up. Maybe living in poverty made her resentful, and now she’s gotta have the nicest things at the expense of everything else, but imagining Tristan in that hospital bed, her nowhere to be found…

I take a breath in through my nose. Out.

Better start fucking talking, Mom.

“I had to watch my son play,” she says, really turning up the Southern drawl, giving a small laugh, her light eyes shifting to Maya. “And I thought I could take you and your best friends out for lunch.”

I snort. “No, thanks. I have plans.”

Chase chuckles. Really chuckles, like a dumb fuck as he looks down at his Oxford shoes. “With Remi?”

Maya folds her arms, her brows pulled together. I think about her dropping Remi back in high school. About what Remi told me, with her stepdad and her sprained ankle. I think about her claims she took photos of her bruises.

I want to add a few fucking more right now.

I grind my teeth together as I keep my eyes on Maya. “Why don’t the three of you grow the fuck up, and find something else to do with your life besides riding my ass?”

Maya’s glossed lips pull into a smile. For some reason, she glances at my mom, who sighs, fiddling with a gold bracelet on her wrist. Then she nods, and Maya turns back to me.

I have a bad feeling about the fact the two of them have been talking a lot more than I realized behind my fucking back, but I’m not entirely surprised.

“Your case was dismissed,” Maya says, lifting her chin, “but you know Remi could always appeal. She still has time.”

I run my hand through my hair and pull before I drop my hand. “I’m not talking about this with you. Besides, the chances of that going anywhere are?—”

“Slim to none,” my mom supplies, but I know she’s not on my side, the way she steps closer, so the three of them are surrounding me in a semi-circle, Chase rocking on the balls of his feet, his hands still in his stupid fucking pants. “But there’s still a chance.”

I look between my ex and my mom. “I don’t understand what your fucking point is,” I finally say to my mother.

She smiles, her mascara thick and melting in the sun, sticking to her brows.

“My point is that I don’t want my son in prison, under any circumstances.

But if you insist on being seen with her and ruining not only your reputation, but your friends,” she nods toward Chase, “and mine…” She trails off and I feel my pulse ticking in my fucking neck.

“I can’t have that. The three of us are asking you, Cortland, to let whatever fling you have with Remi go.

I’m glad the girl has come to her senses and understands what, exactly, consent means, but that’s no reason to throw your life away because of her epiphany. ”

“Mom, get the fuck out of here.” I say the words calmly enough, but inside my head, I’m imagining wrapping my hands around her fucking throat. I turn from her and pull open the door to my truck.

But Chase slaps his hand against it, closing it.

I lunge for him, spinning him around and knocking him against the door. “You want me to really choke the life out of you this time, huh, Chase?” I growl in his face, leaning down, my nose to his.

He just laughs as my mom calls my name and Maya is flipping out, telling me to let him go before she calls the fucking cops.

I do let go, stepping back, and Mom goes to put her hand on my shoulder, but I shrug out of her grip.

“Leave me alone, all of you. Leave me the fuck alone.” I round on Mom. “And stay the fuck away from Tristan while you’re at it. Stay away from Dad, and stay away from me.” I spit on the ground at her feet, my chest heaving as I try to remember to breathe.

My mom clutches the necklace around her throat, her manicured nails glistening in the sun.

“You’re poison. I don’t want you in my life.”

“Cortland,” Mom tries, reaching for me, but I jerk my arm out of her grip and Chase moves away from my truck, Maya half-hiding behind him. “I’m warning you. Let this go.” Her voice is so calm, like she thinks she’s actually going to fucking reason with me.

I open my door again and get in the truck, slamming the door shut and rolling the window down. The truck is paid for, and that’s not thanks to Mom. My uncle helped me buy it with all the work I put in over the summers since I was sixteen.

“Cortland, I know you’re not the smartest son of mine, but you are being incredibly foolish?—”

“Fuck you.”

“She’s trash, Cortland,” Maya says, still half hidden by Chase because she’s a pussy. “She might live in a big fancy house, but she’s still trash.”

I raise my middle finger, drop my hand, and peel out of the parking lot, grabbing a cigarette and my lighter from the center console as I do, heading to Dad’s.