Page 17 of Denying Her Mate (The Wolves of Black Mountain #3)

Chapter 17

Roux

T he snow started an hour ago, falling in soft swells on top of the already white blanket covering everything. It’s been a while since I saw drifts this deep, but it has blown around during the night, creating little snow hills against the side of the cabins.

I left Sawyer in bed and came out here for a moment, needing to catch my breath. My dreams have been troubled since Dove came to us, and I know she is not to blame for what the Order is doing, but she is a reminder that they are still out there, planning, regrouping.

My wolf whines and I quieten her down as I sit forward on the bench, trying to calm my thoughts. She knows something is happening, and not just because I am agitated. I believe my wolf sensed something wrong with Dove as well.

I dig my fingers into my coat pockets, the bones starting to ache. I’m sheltered from the snowstorm under the canopy of my porch, but it can’t protect me from the biting cold. I should go inside, but I need to clear my head before Sawyer wakes up. I don’t want him to worry about me.

It’s been two days since Hester dropped the bomb that the magic binding Dove’s mind is like nothing she’s felt before. I don’t know what that means, and she hasn’t expanded on it, but it fills me with dread.

Dove coming here created as many questions as it answered. The hell she must have suffered at the hands of the Order is something I can’t contemplate, though she seems to be adapting well to life at the Sanctuary. I think that has more to do with Jackson than anything else.

My gaze drifts to the cabin across from mine. Jackson insisted on moving in with Dove, despite knowing so little about her. Sawyer had been pissed about it, Cade too, but Jackson would not be swayed. His need to be with Dove is weird. As far as I can sense, there’s no mating bond between them, but the way he is with her it’s clear he’s besotted. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jackson takes her as a chosen mate, but I hope the wolf takes a second to figure out who she is before he jumps into something he won’t be able to get out of.

I huddle over a little, trying to keep warm. I miss the colorful array of flowers that are usually in bloom on my porch and in front of the decking. Spring can’t come soon enough.

As I stare out over the snow-covered ground, I wonder if the white room Dove spoke of is this stark. My gut twists. I don’t want to imagine the torture these women are subjected to. While we have Dove safely with us, how many others are suffering?

It could have been me.

It might have been if Hester hadn’t found me. I owe her everything. She brought me here, protected me, gave me a home, and now a mate. Those actions meant I was in the right place to meet Sawyer.

I don’t want to consider how different my life could have been if those events never occurred. But there is part of me that wishes he never came here.

Dove is a mystery to us all, but I sense the trouble she brings with her. I don’t want Sawyer caught up in that. I don’t want to be caught up in it either, but our path is not always one we choose.

I wish we could be a normal mating pair, sitting on the deck of our cabin, enjoying the falling snow while drinking steaming hot coffee, but that’s not our fate.

No matter what happens, I have to keep Sawyer alive.

Movement and the sound of a door opening draws my attention. Wyatt is coming down the steps of his cabin’s porch. I wonder how the vargr wolf feels. He came here with a pack behind him and now he is alone. Cade has Halle, Sawyer is mine, and Jackson…

I watch as he ducks his head against the wind and snow flutters around him, his shoulders tight.

“Wyatt!” I shout his name, and he glances up at me, like a deer caught in headlights.

Then he continues to walk toward the lake. Damn, that rejection hurts.

The breath in my chest feels tight as I watch him get further away. I don’t like to see anyone suffer, but Wyatt has struggled from the moment he got here.

I hear the door click to the side of the bench I’m sitting on and scent Sawyer before he steps out. Despite the cold, he’s wearing his jeans unbuttoned, and a pair of sliders. My gaze roams over his bare chest, appreciating every line and contour of his body.

Yeah, this wolf owns me.

I don’t know how I resisted Sawyer for as long as I did, because my wolf and I are both in agreement that we are never giving him up again.

“Hey, baby,” I say to him as he hands me a blanket. I arch my brow, taking it from him. “You need this more than I do, considering you’re half-naked.”

Sawyer smirks before he sinks down onto the bench next to me. His hand wraps around my thigh, and even through my fur-lined yoga pants his heat sears me.

“I’ve got you to warm me up,” he says, helping to arrange the blanket over me when I don’t try to.

I lean my head against his shoulder, enjoying his presence. “I think you should talk to your cousin.”

Sawyer starts stroking my neck. “I’d much rather be here with you.”

“I know that, but I don’t think he’s doing great.”

“Wyatt’s a big boy, Roux. He can take care of himself.”

I sit up, turning so I can look at him. “I know that, but he’s struggling.”

Sawyer blows out a breath, his hands reaching to pull me back against him. “You’re too far away from me.”

“Sawyer!” I snap his name.

“Fine. I’ll talk to him.”

I narrow my eyes at him before I relinquish and nuzzle back into his side.

“How come you got up?” Sawyer asks after a moment. “I wanted to taste your pussy this morning.”

Heat floods me at his dirty words. I love that Sawyer doesn’t hold anything back from me, telling me exactly what he wants and expects.

“I couldn’t sleep, and I didn’t want to wake you by tossing and turning,” I say, gripping his hand draped around my shoulders.

I don’t tell him I let him sleep because I know he hasn’t done much of that since Dove arrived. I don’t need to because the mating bond means there are few secrets between us.

“I don’t mind you waking me.” His lips press to my hair. “But I appreciate you letting me sleep.”

“You needed it,” I say.

He makes a low growl in his throat, almost like a contented purr, as he nuzzles his nose along my face.

“Is this your way of telling me I look like a zombie?”

“No, it’s my way of telling you I’m worried about you. Tiredness leads to mistakes, and we can’t afford any.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I’m like Teflon. Nothing sticks.”

I snort a laugh under my breath. “You’re so weird sometimes,” I joke.

“You like weird though, right?”

“I love weird,” I assure him, leaning up to press a kiss to his mouth. My hand rests on his warm chest and I can feel his heart thumping beneath my palm.

Sawyer’s body tenses and it takes me a second to realize why. Across the way, Dove and Jackson are coming out of the cabin they are sharing.

The woman seems lighter than she did when she first arrived. The rest of my coven have been trying figure out how to remove the blocks in her mind that shield her old life from her awareness, but Hester won’t allow us to touch her. Without that contact, it’s impossible to know how to proceed and Hester isn’t talking about her deep dive into Dove’s mind. The rest of us have tried to theorize what she felt, but other than witch or tau, I don’t know what else exists out there that can do magic.

“Stop growling.”

He does, but his body remains tight. “Do you really buy this damsel act she’s putting on?”

“I don’t have any reason to doubt her, Sawyer. I know you’re mad, but she’s a victim in this.”

He snorts, the derision clear in the sound he makes. “I love that you want to see the best in everyone, and usually, my little enchantress, I’m the same.”

“But?”

“But… This isn’t a situation for us to give our trust over to. She’s got to earn that, despite what Jackson seems to think.” He glances at me. “You don’t agree?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think we should completely trust her, but she doesn’t deserve to be villainized either. I could have been her, Sawyer. I could have been captured by the Order easily. They could have wiped my mind, made me forget everything.”

The little dimple between his eyes as he frowns makes me smile.

“Empathy is fine to have, but not at the cost of letting our guard down.”

I agree with him, but the guys seem unwilling to even consider Dove is a victim in this. I understand; they want to protect their mates, but if we don’t plan on helping the tau we rescue, then what’s the point of trying?

“The coven wants to find more out about Dove and her mind block,” I say, “but Hester’s forbidden it.”

He scoffs. “She sure likes to keep to her secrets.”

I blow out a breath. Usually, I would have been quick to defend Hester, but the more shit comes to the surface, the less inclined I feel to stand in her corner. “She doesn’t trust us,” I agree.

“But she trusts you enough to run into danger and have her back when it suits her,” he grumbles.

I pull his hand into my lap, clutching it tightly. “I want to know what she felt in Dove’s mind.”

“No,” he says instantly.

“You don’t even know what you’re saying no to.”

He eyes me. “You want to have a look yourself.”

Damn. “I know the mating bond makes us more in tune to each other, but I didn’t realize it gave you mind reading abilities.”

“I don’t need to be a mind reader,” he says. “I can see it in your face, but we don’t know who Dove is yet or whether she’s a threat. If you go rummaging around in her mind you might get hurt.”

I want to defend the woman who has been through hell, but Sawyer’s right. She is an unknown threat.

I’ve been watching her in the days since she was brought here. There’s no doubt she has been changed by her time in captivity, and her fear about being taken back is real, but sometimes I get the impression she wants to be in that white room she talked about.

“I hate not knowing things,” I complain. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

I lean my head against his shoulder. “Maybe we don’t have to fix it. Maybe we just keep our distance and wait.”

“She’s sharing a cabin with Jackson,” I say pointedly. “You really want to sit by and let him get hurt?”

I close my eyes as Sawyer trails his fingers over my neck, close to the mark he put there. My skin feels hot and I lean into his touch.

Sitting here with my mate never seemed like something I would experience. I was so set on not letting anyone in again, but the thought of life without Sawyer just doesn’t seem possible. It makes me more determined than ever to keep him safe.

“No matter what happens,” I say, “promise me you’ll never leave me.”

There is not a second of hesitation. “I promise.”