Page 15 of Denying Her Mate (The Wolves of Black Mountain #3)

Chapter 15

Sawyer

T he shower in Roux’s cabin is barely big enough to fit both of us in it. My large frame steals most of the space, forcing us into close proximity. I don’t mind that, but I bash my elbows as I grab her sweet-smelling shower gel, squirting some onto my hand, and rub it over her skin.

“This isn’t really designed for a vargr,” she says, a playful tone to her voice that I’ve not heard from her before—not with me anyway.

I don’t want to dwell on our past, not while I have her naked in front of me. Her scent coats my body and her presence fills my mind. I feel a calmness like I’ve never experienced, knowing we are connected in an unbreakable way and that she is happy we are. For a while, I thought we would never get to this moment, but I’m grateful we’re here now.

“Would you like me to get out?” I ask, my own lips quirking into a challenging smirk.

“Don’t you dare.” She grabs my arm, just in case I try to leave the shower cubicle.

Wild horses couldn’t drag me away from my woman.

From my mate.

The way that settles through me makes me smile. Every wolf dreams of meeting their true mate, but for most it never happens. I found mine in a place I would never have come to had it not been for Halle. I owe my brother’s little mate everything.

She wraps her arms around my neck and tugs me down so she can meet my lips. I kiss her reverently, as if she is precious beyond any wealth I could measure. I am holding my entire world in my hands. She is everything I have ever wanted or needed, and there is a tingle of fear that rolls through me at the thought of what is looming on the horizon for her—for us.

It has to be us because I’m not letting her leave my side with those assholes hunting her and the other tau wolves at the Sanctuary.

“Hey.” She cups my face with her soft palms, forcing me to look at her. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

Placing my hands over hers, I grip Roux tight. This simple gesture is enough to calm my turbulent thoughts. “I worry about you every moment of every day,” I admit, letting my vulnerability slip through the cracks of my hard exterior.

Her eyes soften. “Nothing is going to happen to me, Sawyer.”

“Not while I’m breathing,” I agree.

Her smile makes my balls tight, and I want to be inside her again, but the water is no longer scorching, meaning we have about five minutes before it runs cold. I finish washing her, taking time to explore her body, as if it is the first time I’m seeing it and I haven’t already been inside her.

I could spend a week in bed, just tracing the dips and valleys of her belly and tits. There is some reluctance as I lead her out of the cubicle and grab a towel off the rail, wrapping it around her before I cover my hips with another.

In the bedroom, she sits on the edge of the bed, scrunching the moisture out of her hair with another towel. I take a moment to look around her space. The cabins are not large. The one I share with the guys is probably the biggest on the site, but Roux has made this space her own, filling every inch of it with cushions and ornaments. She seems to like candles and plants.

“You were with a pack before?” I ask her, bending to look at a photograph of her with Apryle and Hester. There are no pictures of anyone else.

No family. No friends.

No one outside of this compound.

“I was,” she responds, her words clipped, her gaze averted away from me.

Have I stepped on a land mine?

The need to know everything about her, while protecting her from the trauma she has endured, wars within me. She killed her chosen mate with uncontrolled magic, but I didn’t consider what that might have meant for her future with her pack.

I can see how easily they may have turned on her. Wolves are unendingly superstitious when it comes to magic. The bond between our kind and witches has always been tumultuous. If her pack saw her use magic, she’s lucky to be standing in front of me now.

The realization they could have killed her before I knew she existed loosens some of the control I am clinging to. I drag a shaky hand through my hair, trying to calm my anger.

“You don’t keep in touch with any of them?”

“Nope.” She pops the ‘P’, focused on scrunching the towel into her dripping hair.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to.”

She drops the towel onto the bed and blows out a breath. “It’s hard to think about that time.” Her words are soft, but I hear the emotion choking them.

What did they do to her?

I don’t like the feeling coming through the bond. Ugly and unpleasant, it makes my skin feel itchy.

“You don’t have to tell me anything.”

Instinct and my desire to keep her happy makes me close the space between us. Knowing she’s hurting gores me, as I sink down next to her on the edge of the bed.

The tears brimming in her eyes strangles my pulse. I reach out, capturing one as it falls down her cheek, leaving a silvery trail behind it.

“I don’t want to make you cry.”

“You’re not,” she assures me in a wobbly voice. “It’s just… hard to remember that time in my life.”

Cupping her face with my hand, I rub over the apple of her cheek as another tear falls.

“Whatever you endured, you’ll never have to go through again, Roux. I promise you.”

“They didn’t trust me after Edward was…” Her throat bobs as she swallows what she was about to say.

“Did you have family in the pack?”

“Not any that sided with me.” The muscle in my jaw twitches at that admission . Fuck, they all just abandoned her? “I don’t have anyone.”

“You have me.”

My mouth presses against hers, silencing any protest she might make. She does have me—heart, soul, and body. I am hers and she is mine, until we take our last breath.

When I pull back from her lips, I rest my forehead against hers. “Your pack shouldn’t have let you walk away, Roux. That’s not what pack does.”

She moves back from me, meeting my gaze. “My pack wants me dead, Sawyer.”

My wolf growls, registering her words before I do. Her pack wants to kill her?

Rage bubbles inside me, threatening to unravel every frisson of calm I had managed to cling to during this conversation. I want to unleash my fury at the wolves who hurt Roux. I want to take her pain and suffering from her.

The guilt she harbors for what she did is punishment enough.

“Hey.” Roux’s soft voice pulls me back from the red fog clouding my vision. “Sawyer, look at me.”

I lift my gaze to hers, my teeth clamped together.

“Are they a threat?”

I need to know what enemies could come for her, and how I can protect her from them.

“I don’t think so.” Her hand slips into mine and the gentle squeeze she gives me is a balm to my wounds. “You’re growling, stop.”

“I can’t help it. The thought that someone wants to harm you makes me homicidal.”

“They won’t do anything.”

I tug free of her hold, standing and pacing the small strip of floor beside the bed. Every instinct in my body screams at me to neutralize this threat to her.

“Sawyer, calm down. I’m not worried about them. They haven’t tried to find me since I left.”

“That doesn’t help as much as you think it does.”

Roux stands, letting the towel fall from her body as she steps into my space.

“There are no monsters here for you to slay. You’re not an angry man, Sawyer. Don’t turn into someone you’re not.”

It’s those words that help me deflate my anger a little. “I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I’m not. Not anymore. I was for a long time. I was scared of what I did, of what I could do. I was terrified of what my future looked like when I found out I was a tau wolf. I thought my life would be spent in hiding, afraid every day for my life, but look around, Sawyer. I have friends, people I can rely on, a beautiful home, and I have you. I’m strong.”

She presses a kiss to my cheek and I lean into it, unable to stop myself from seeking her warmth.

“You are strong,” I agree. “You’re far too tempting standing there like this.”

Reaching out, I palm one of her tits, heavy and plump with dark nipples that harden under my fingers. I knead the smooth flesh before ducking my head to suck the bud into my mouth.

“I will never get bored of your body,” I say between licks.

She sucks in a breath that makes my cock tight. “Sawyer… we need to… Oh, fuck .”

I grin at how easily she comes apart in my hands. I lick around the nipple before pulling back slightly, my focus still locked on her breast. “Don’t worry, my little enchantress. I’ll make this quick.”

It’s a lie. Nothing about her makes me want to be quick.

I eat her pussy with delicious care and attention, making sure to hit those nerve endings perfectly, until she’s writhing on the bed, fisting the sheets like they’re the only thing keeping her grounded.

Once I’m finished having my fill of her, I take my cock in my hand and press it against her tight entrance before I sink into her heat for over an hour. I’m in no rush to get through this. I savor every drag of my cock into her heat, and when I finally spill inside her, all I can think about is how I wish she were in heat so I could plug my cum inside her.

Once we’re cleaned up again, we both dress. I like the dazed look on Roux’s face as she moves around the cabin. I like making people happy. It’s ingrained in me to be the joker, the comic relief, but I lost that side of me while Roux was trying to come to terms with our mating. I couldn’t find the humor in anything, but it’s coming back to me.

Her joy makes me happy.

Boots and coats on, we eventually leave the cabin, though I would just as readily take my mate back to bed and make love to her once more.

The afternoon air is crisp and cold as we step out onto the porch. Roux slips her hand into mine, the other gripping the rail to avoid slipping on the snow covering the steps. It seems thicker today, white blanketing nearly everything.

As I look around, I realize how breathtakingly beautiful this place is. The only color comes from the rich wood of the cabin walls and the siding on the main house.

I squint against the brightness of the sun as it hits the snow, reflecting back at me. If it weren’t for the looming threat hanging over us, this place would be paradise.

I hold Roux tightly in my hand in case she slips, but her feet are steady as we begin the short walk to the main house. As we get closer, my stomach starts to knot.

It was easy to pretend none of this was happening while we were in our bubble, but now we have to deal with the fall out of everything.

Including the blue-haired tau.

Sensing my discomfort, Roux squeezes my hand in hers. “We’ll be okay,” she says, and I’m not sure if she’s trying to assure me or herself. I don’t see how anything could be okay.

Against every instinct, I lead Roux up the steps and onto the porch that wraps around the main house. I don’t like this. An ominous feeling swallows me, heightening my awareness.

It’s that thought that makes me pause, my fingers hovering over the back door handle.

“We have to go inside,” she says.

“Do we?”

My mate turns me, so I’m facing her. “This is my coven and they need my help.”

I rub at a growing pain in my temple. “They’ll manage fine without you.”

I rove my gaze over the freckles covering her nose and cheeks, wondering how many there are. “Halle and Cade need you. Jackson too. I don’t know what’s between him and this tau wolf, but he’s clearly smitten. I don’t think he’ll leave her willingly.”

Damn. I hate that she’s right. For better or worse, we are connected to every person within this compound either by blood, pack, or via Roux’s coven. We can’t just walk away and get lost in some motel room for a month.

I brush her hair from her face, taking every available opportunity to touch her. “So you’re saying we have to stay and face whatever nightmare is coming for us?” I smile to soften my words, but I’m also serious. The future is not going to be an easy one.

“I’m saying we need to help our friends and family, Sawyer. I know we’re not pack, not truly, but we’re more than that. I don’t want anything to happen to a single person here, and I know you don’t.”

“You overestimate how much I like everyone.”

The wrinkle of her nose as she lets out a little snort is adorable. “You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?”

I wouldn’t shed a single tear over Hester disappearing. Nor Apryle for that matter. That woman scares me.

I don’t say this to Roux, but it must filter down the bond, because she raises a brow at me. “Behave yourself.”

“I don’t know how to,” I admit, smirking.

“We can’t stay out here all day,” Roux says.

“Can’t we?” That sounds like a great plan to me.

“Inside, Sawyer.”

Scowling, I grab the door handle with my free hand and shove inside.

The scent of brewed coffee is strong. I’d guess it’s been standing for a while, even though Apryle is sitting at the old, dark wood kitchen table, a steaming mug of it clutched between her hands. I’m not surprised; I’ve seen that woman drink day-old coffee before when we ran out of filters for the machine.

Her gaze drops to mine and Roux’s joined hands before she notices the claiming mark on her neck. The smirk that tugs at her lips as she shakes her head is almost endearing.

Almost .

I can never really tell with her.

“Where’ve you been?” Wyatt half turns to look over his shoulder at me.

Sitting opposite Apryle, my cousin has a stack of pancakes on a plate in front of him that he’s shoveling into his mouth as if he’s never eaten.

“Occupied. Where are Cade and Halle?” I ask.

“In the other room with Jackson .”

The bite in my cousin’s tone doesn’t surprise me. Wyatt doesn’t have a lot of patience, and Jackson is testing us all. His behavior toward this woman is dangerous for us all. We don’t know the first thing about her and, while I don’t like Hester, I like the tau woman he’s determined to protect even less. We don’t know anything about her or her objectives and Jackson is being reckless.

What’s going on?

I direct this question down the pack link to Wyatt, who shifts his shoulders, not bothering to stop eating. My cousin wants to be here less than I do, and he hasn’t been quiet about his feelings toward Hester and the other tau women. Whether his mistrust comes from the same place as mine and Cade’s, I don’t know, but I do know Wyatt has been irritated from the moment we left our pack lands. At least he’s warmed up to Halle now. There was a period where he didn’t like her either.

The door opens and Halle steps through, looking frazzled. Her hair has come loose from the tie, falling around her face, and the tightness of her mouth says more than words. When she spots me, her expression morphs into relief.

“You need to talk to your brother before he murders Jackson.” She goes to the coffee pot, emptying the dregs out into the sink.

“Hey! That was still good,” Apryle complains.

“I don’t want it to strip my stomach lining,” Halle fires back with a sweet smile that earns her a scowl.

“How’s our… visitor ?” Roux asks, dropping her voice low as she says the last word. Her hand is still locked in mine as she presses against my side.

“She’s being difficult.” She turns with the clean pot, and I can see the moment she realizes Roux and I have mated. Her eyes flare wide and her mouth moves, as if she is trying to spit the words out but can’t.

“Is… is that a claiming mark ?” The way she squeals at the end makes me wince.

“Inside voices, Halle.”

Roux tightens her grip on me, as Halle slides the coffee pot on the side and closes the space between us in two steps. I can sense her uncertainty through our bond, and I send soothing waves to her.

“When did this happen?” Halle demands and I can tell there’s going to be an inquisition.

“Last night,” Roux tells her.

The squeal returns as Halle claps her hands together, jumping up and down on the spot. “I knew you guys would fix things! I mean, all that sexual tension was bound to result in this. I’m so happy for you both!”

Sexual tension?

Nothing about the past few weeks has felt anything but traumatic.

I don’t have time to brace myself as Halle throws her arms around my neck, nearly dragging me to my knees. I let out an ‘oof’ as she squeezes the life out of me.

Carefully, I try to untangle her from me, but for such a small woman, she’s strong as an ox. “While I’m thrilled you’re happy, Hals, you’re going to end my mating bond if you strangle me to death.”

Roux’s amusement filters through the bond. She’s happy and I intend to keep her that way.

“I need him breathing,” Roux finally says, taking pity on me.

Halle releases her hold on me, her expression a little sheepish. “Sorry. I got carried away, but I’m just so happy for you guys.” Her nose wrinkles as she glances in my direction. “Hals, really?”

“You don’t like it?” I straighten, cricking my neck to the side, cringing at the crunch sound my bones make as they slide together.

I swear she’s paying for my chiropractor bill.

“I don’t know how I feel about it,” Halle admits. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“No, but you are technically my little sister now, and it seems fitting I should find new and adventurous ways to torment you.”

Halle’s brows dance up her forehead. “I’m mated to your brother.”

“Exactly we’re family. Isn’t that right, Wyatt?”

“Sure.” My cousin doesn’t look up from his plate. Unsurprising. He and Halle have always had a rocky relationship, though there’s no heat in his tone, so I’m taking that as he’s warmed up a little toward our alpha female.

“I think it’s cute.” Roux presses up against my side and I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer as I breathe in a nose full of her scent.

“Whatever.” Halle’s smirk becomes serious. “I really am happy for you both.”

Coming from her, it means everything. There was no misunderstanding how pissed Halle was at Roux when she refused the bond.

Halle didn’t get why Roux would risk both our lives like that, but as weird as it sounds, I now understand exactly where my mate stood and why.

I never wanted Roux to force her feelings toward me. As hard as it was for us both, things needed to play out exactly as they did. My mate came to me willing, needy, and ready to take that step. Given her past, the only right move was to wait—no matter how painful it was.

Still, it means something to me that Halle isn’t holding any bitterness either. I want her and my mate to get along. They are joined by their relationships with me and with Cade, but they are also coven sisters. Trust has to be there to ensure they keep each other safe.

“Thank you, Halle,” Roux says, smiling.

She looks delectable. Tasty. A delicious morsel. I can’t stop from dipping my head to press a kiss into her hair. She smells so good. Her unique scent is mixed with mine, and it makes my wolf content knowing that she is ours.

“The amount of PDA happening around here lately is gross,” Apryle mutters. “It’s worse than high school.”

Halle rolls her eyes before she turns to face Apryle. “You’ll find a mate and then you’ll be gross too.”

Halle’s assurance makes her jaw tight. “What would I want to find my mate for? Look what it’s done to Roux—to you too. You’re both doe-eyed and dazed. There’s no edge to either of you anymore.”

The emotion that comes through the mating bond has me glancing down at my mate, but her gaze is locked on her coven sister.

“You really don’t want a mate?” Halle asks, not picking up on the vibe of the room.

Apryle scoffs at Halle, which makes my spine straighten. I don’t care that they’re bound by their magic; I won’t stand by while Apryle gives Halle shit.

Sitting forward in her seat with one foot balancing on the edge, she hugs her knee. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, sweetheart, but wolves want to kill us. You think I’m going to close my eyes and sleep next to one?”

“ Some wolves want to kill us,” Halle says. “Not all of them.”

Apryle waves this off with a flutter of her hand. “Semantics. Enough of them want us gone. That’s too many for me.”

“So you’re just not going to take a mate ever?”

The shift of Apryle’s shoulders says more than words, but she gives some anyway. “Why would I?”

“Because… because finding your mate is everything.”

“I have magic. What do I need a mate for?”

The helpless look in Halle’s eyes as she stares at Apryle, as if seeing her for the first time, is almost comical. “I don’t understand you,” she mutters.

“Good. That probably means I’m doing the right things.”

“Speaking of wanting to kill us,” Roux says before Halle can reach across the table and throttle Apryle. “The tau we rescued… how is she?”

“She doesn’t think we rescued her,” Wyatt says. “She’s convinced we’re the bad guys.”

Maybe we are. Heroes are created by the victors. Perhaps in her story, we’re the evil wolves who stole her from the life she knew.

“She sure as hell likes Jackson. Him and her can’t get enough of each other.” Halle refuses to look at Apryle as she says this, instead resuming her mission to make fresh coffee.

“Are they fated?” I ask.

I wondered the same thing, given Jackson’s response to the woman when she was in danger, or at least the perceived threat of danger.

“I don’t think so.” Halle shakes the coffee grounds into the top of the machine. “If they are, something is holding the bond back. They don’t seem to have recognized each other as mates.”

“You don’t think?” Apryle scoffs. “Jackson was practically humping her leg like a horny dog.”

“As amusing as this shit is,” I say, “I’m going to check on Cade and our guest.” Roux’s hand in mine, I walk us into the hallway.

As soon as she shuts the door behind us, I press her against the wall of the stairs, my fingers gripping her jaw as I give her a desperate kiss.

Tasting her on my tongue is enough to calm the desire beating inside my chest. I take time to explore her mouth, my fingers tangling in her hair, as I slant my head to deepen the kiss. The coats between us are an annoying barrier, but it’s probably a good thing we’re both dressed as we are, or I’d be in her pants right now.

When we break apart, both of us are breathless. “You can’t kiss me like that without any follow up planned,” Roux says. I like the heated look in her eyes as she peers at me.

My needy little tau.

“There are rooms in the house we can utilize.” I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively.

“If you want Hester to murder us.”

I don’t want to think about her while I have Roux caged against the wall. Nuzzling her neck, I let out a low growl of pleasure. I love this woman—I know it’s early in our mating, but I can’t fight the way she makes me feel.

It is as if every moment is a gift when I’m with her. A natural high I want to chase.

As much as I don’t want to end this moment, I pull back from her, letting her push away from the wall and finger-comb her hair. “I’d rather be in bed with you, but I guess we better find out what is going on.”

I take her hand again and together we head into the living room.