Page 138 of Denim & Diamonds

But I didn’twantto move on. I wantedBrock. I just wasn’t sure I could handle everything that now came in that package.

CHAPTER 36

February

Two nights later, I decided to call Brock. We hadn’t talked since we’d ended things, but I missed him like crazy and wanted to see how he was doing with the baby. It didn’t feel right to completely abandon him, and it was clear to me that wasn’t what I wanted. But all the complicating factors remained, and I still wasn’t sure what I could ultimately commit to… So I talked myself into believing my call was just friendly, as we’d decided was best—not that Ineededto hear his voice. But I poured myself a glass of wine to settle my nerves before hitting the FaceTime button.

Brock answered wearing a soaking-wet T-shirt, which clung to his amazing, thick body.

I licked my lips. “Are you working at the cabin this late?”

He turned the phone, and Patrick’s cute little naked body filled the screen. Brock was giving him a bath in the sink. It made my heart squeeze. “Oh my God. He’s adorable.”

“He likes to splash his old man. Hang on a second, let me prop the phone up in the dishrack. I need both hands with this slippery little fish.”

I couldn’t stop smiling as I watched the two of them together. Patrick’s legs were jumping all around, and he made this cute little squeaking sound.

“Watch this,” Brock said. He leaned over and put his mouth on the baby’s stomach and blew a big belly fart. Patrick went crazy, his arms and legs flailing around as he screeched in laughter. It made my heart full to see them happy together, and it hurt like hell that I wasn’t there, wouldn’t be part of that sweet little family. I hated myself for being too afraid to take a chance with them.

“He is so precious, Brock.”

“He had a checkup yesterday. The butterball is almost eleven pounds already. The doc was nice, but she told me babies don’t usually laugh or smile in response to interactions for at least six to eight weeks.” He raised an eyebrow. “You can’t tell me my boy isn’t reacting to me.”

“He definitely is. I think doctors tend to give averages and probably lean toward the long end of things when they give people milestones, so parents don’t worry.”

Brock lifted Patrick’s foot, pressed his lips to it, and blew again. The baby shrieked in delight. There was no mistaking the smile on his face. “Is he that happy all the time?”

“For the most part. Though he tends to be happiest when he’s naked.” Brock winked. “Takes after his pop in that way, too.”

I couldn’t stop smiling. I watched as Brock finished his son’s bath, dried him off with an adorable green,hooded dinosaur towel, and dressed him in footie pajamas. This was supposed to be a friendly check-in phone call, yet I think I fell a little more in love instead. But that still came paired with a spike of fear.

He set Patrick in a bassinet in the living room, and thirty seconds later, the little guy was fast asleep. Brock sat down on the couch and let out a big sigh. He looked happy, but tired. “He knocks out after all the bath excitement.”

“I can’t blame him. I love a good bath, too.” Brock didn’t respond, and it felt awkward. “Is this okay?” I asked. “My calling, I mean?”

“Yeah, of course. I’m just not sure how to do the friend thing with you. You said bath, and I pictured us in the tub together, you sitting between my legs, resting your head against my chest.”

That sounded amazing. Clearly, I wasn’t sure how to manage this new friend zone either. “I wasn’t even sure I should call. But I’ve been thinking about you guys and wanted to see how you were holding up.”

Brock smiled sadly. “I think about you a lot, too.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “Anyway, what’s new in New York?”

“Same old, same old. There was a rat in my subway car this morning.”

“Jesus Christ, I don’t know how you do it.”

I laughed. “That was a little much, even for me. It was trapped and running from person to person.”

“Did you make a decision on the investor guy from Italy?”

I nodded. “I did. I’m going to accept his offer. I have a call scheduled for tomorrow morning to talk to him about some things, but I don’t think any of them are dealbreakers.”

“So that means you’ll be totally rid of the board of directors that have been giving you such a hard time?”

“Yep. I’m a corporation, so I need to have a board, but it doesn’t need to be outsiders who don’t know anything about my business.”

“That’s good. Though the board did one smart thing.”

“They did?”