Page 100 of Denim & Diamonds

At the moment, we were trapped in a line at the home improvement store. And sure enough, in front of us was a toddler giving me googly eyes.

Finally, February nudged my shoulder. “The universe is definitely messing with us today, huh? All these babies and toddlers everywhere.”

“I thought it was just me.” I stuck my tongue out at the little boy, which caused him to cackle. “Maybe they were always around, but now we’re noticing them.”

She shrugged. “Or maybe in a weird way, the universe is trying to prepare you…”

My stomach sank. This time out of the house was supposed to be a distraction. It had turned into anything but.

February and I stopped at a café for coffee on the way home. We sat across from each other, both mostly lost in thought, when I caught her staring at me.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked.

“You could have asonright now, Brock.” She shook her head. “A son.”

Had the reality of it all only now hit her?

I nodded, and then decided the sooner she knew the better. “I need you to know that if this baby is mine, I’m going to raise it.”

She narrowed her eyes, looking perplexed. “Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

“You knew that was going to be my decision?”

“Brock…” She smiled. “You’re the gentlest giant I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And you have the means to care for a child, so why would you give him up?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t imagine giving up my child.”

“You have the biggest heart. It’s whyI…”

She stopped herself, and now I might never know how she’d planned to end that sentence. Damn this fucked-up situation.

February reached over and placed her hand on mine. “At least you know. This might be harder if you had to decide.”

“Well, there’s still the fact that I know nothing about raising babies and have no clue how I’m supposed to work and take care of him.”

“You’re gonna be the best father. I have no doubt.”

My brow lifted. “What are you basing that on?”

“Your treatment of others—people you aren’t even related to. This little guy would be your flesh and blood. I can’t imagine how much you’d grow to love him.”

“All the love in the world can’t help you raise a baby,” I countered.

“You can get a nanny.”

I chewed on my bottom lip. “I don’t want just anyone taking care of my kid, Red.”

She smirked.

I arched a brow. “What?”

“See? Already so protective.”

Rubbing my temples, I admitted, “I’m scared. Not only because of how much my day-to-day life will change, but also because you and I had finally come to an understanding that we would try to make this work. I don’t see how I could possibly be there for you the way you’d need me to now.” I groaned. “Anyway, so much for taking this moment by moment, huh?”

She squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel all over the place. We both are. There’s no playbook for this situation.”

***