Page 19 of Defensive Zone (Chicago Thunder #3)

Chapter Eighteen

Carter

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” I ask Zach as he steps out of the bathroom.

We’re heading over to Blaine’s apartment for their regular “boys’ night,” but Zach’s been asleep for most of the afternoon. He said he’s feeling a lot better now, but I know him, and I know when he’s hiding his pain.

The perk of having known him for pretty much my entire life.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll just tell them not to get rowdy and that we won’t be staying too long.” He moves to stand in between my legs where I’m sitting on the bed, and my hands instantly go to his hips. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I can’t help but close my eyes and let out a satisfied hum.

“Okay, tell me if you can feel one coming on.”

“I will.”

His hands remain on my head as I stand up, slipping my arms around his back as my lips find his neck.

Since we had sex the other day, we haven’t been able to keep our hands off each other. I wondered if maybe the amount of orgasms Zach’s having on the regular is playing a part in his headaches due to the increased heart rate and blood pressure that comes with them, but he insists it’s worth it, so who am I to judge? I love making him come.

His hand slides around to grab my ass, hauling me closer until we’re pressed up against one another. I graze my teeth over his pulse point and kiss up to his jaw.

“You’re going to make me face your friends with a boner.”

He snickers. “Nothing they haven’t seen before. It’s like part of the team bonding ritual, seeing each other’s accidental hard-ons.”

“Are you kidding me?” I snort.

“Your teammates don’t do that?”

“No.” I shake my head. “We don’t.”

“Shame, you’re missing out.” He winks and takes a step back. I follow him out of the bedroom, my eyes glued to his delicious ass as we head out of the door and down the hall to Blaine’s apartment.

When we’re inside, it seems we’re the last to arrive. Ethan Parkes is sitting on the couch with Jonathan Peyton and Jackson Wilde. Adam Kendrick is stacking beers in the fridge, and the Olsen twins are sitting on the rug with Blaine’s dog, Ernie. There are a few notable absences, such as the young gun Mitch Henry, but Zach mentioned he’s got a new girlfriend, so they weren’t expecting him to turn up.

“You got a new cast!” Elliot gasps when he notices Zach’s new addition. He pushes himself off the floor and rushes over to take hold of Zach’s arm, turning it over in his hand before turning back toward his brother. “Blaine, you got a Sharpie?”

When Zach got it changed, I was so relieved when the doctor said the break is healing up perfectly. He’s only got less than two weeks before they will take it off and he can begin his hardcore physiotherapy sessions.

Which means one step closer to him getting back on the ice.

I don’t really know how I feel about it yet. I’ve loved being with him these last couple of weeks, taking care of him, loving him. He goes in for a few hours every morning to train lower body, and when he’s given the green light to play again, he’ll be back training every day and going on the road, and the needy part inside me is anxious about being away from him. About what might happen when we’re separated.

I thank Kendrick as he hands over a beer, and Zach moves to stand in the middle of the living room, jerking his head at me when he realizes I haven’t followed him.

“I’ve got something I want to tell you guys,” he announces as I step up beside him, and the room goes quiet.

“You’re not retiring, are you?” Peyton asks with a frown.

Zach shakes his head. “No, as soon as I’ve been cleared by the doc, I’ll be back out on the ice.”

Elliot lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank fuck for that.”

“I… uh…” Zach stammers. He throws me a quick smile and grabs my hand. “So, me and Carter are dating.”

There’s a moment of complete silence, and my heart rate begins to kick up in panic. Are they going to disapprove and tell him this is a terrible idea? Try to talk him out of it? These guys are like his family. He often tells me how they are more like his brothers than Brody is. I know their opinion is important to him.

Fuck. What if they hate me for what I’ve put Zach through over the years?

But before I can spiral, the silence is broken by a flurry of excitement. I sag in relief, feeling the weight of their approval like a physical thing.

“I knew it!” Blaine beams, wrapping his arms around us both in a hug. “Wait until I tell Alex, he’s going to be so stoked.”

“Does this mean you’re boyfriends now?” Elliot asks, bouncing on his toes.

“El!” Blaine scolds.

“What? It’s a valid question!”

I’m about to open my mouth to confirm, but I’m cut off.

“I thought you were already dating?” Kendrick asks, a puzzled expression on his face. “I thought you had an open relationship or something.”

Zach huffs out a laugh. “No. I was just an idiot in love for a long time.”

I squeeze his hand. “We’re both idiots in love now.”

“Aw! You’re so cute, it hurts.” Elliot hoots, placing both hands on Zach’s face and squishing his cheeks together. The goalie takes a step in front of me, and gone is his playful expression. His eyes narrow as he crosses his arms over his chest. “What’s your intentions with my favorite D-man?”

“Hey!” Kendrick protests. “What about me?”

“This isn’t about you, Kenny,” Elliot says over his shoulder before glaring back at me. “So?”

Pressing my lips together, I cast Zach a quick look before focusing on Elliot again. “My intentions are good, you don’t need to worry about that.”

Unconvinced, Elliot cocks his head to the side, brows arched.

“Since I was six years old, he’s always been my favorite person in the world, but I’ve come to realize that he’s more than that.”

I’m aware that his teammates have stopped talking and are all listening intently, but I ignore them. My eyes find Zach again. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek as he listens.

“He’s my entire world. My soulmate, in every way. It’s like for my entire life, I’ve been building this LEGO set, and I’ve always been missing one piece, but it’s always been there, right in front of me. I just wasn’t ready to see it.”

Zach visibly swallows, and I continue.

“So, Elliot, the answer to your question is… I’d really like to love your favorite D-man for the rest of my life, if he’ll let me.”

Elliot grins widely, knowing he achieved exactly what he intended to and have me say the words out loud.

Zach closes the distance between us and cups my face with his hand, pressing his lips hard against mine. Resting his forehead against mine, he murmurs, “You mean it?”

“Yeah, I mean it. I’m in this, Reid, if you’ll have me.”

His answering kiss tells me everything I need to know. We’re doing this. Together. It might have taken me years to catch up, but I’m here now, and he’s got all of me.

Peyton attempts to lift Zach up off his feet when we pull apart, swinging him in a circle like a toddler before righting him again.

“Fuck, I’m the only single one left,” Peyton cries when he puts him down.

“Uh, no, you’re not,” Blaine replies, then points to Elliot and Jackson. “What about those two?”

“Jackson’s a dad, he doesn’t count, and Elliot’s in love with the fireman.”

“Am not ,” Elliot retorts.

“Yeah, you kinda are,” Blaine quips.

“Fine, maybe I am. Only a little bit, though.” Elliot sighs with a roll of his eyes. “But it still means I’m single. So, quit being all mopey, Pey, and order some pizza. I am hungry. ”

Peyton blinks at him. “It’s not my apartment!”

“Ugh. Can’t you be the responsible adult for once?”

“I’ll order it,” Ethan grumbles from the back of the group and makes his way over to us. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “I’m pleased for you both, truly.”

“Thanks, Ethan.” Zach smiles.

When the guys disperse and follow Ethan to give him their pizza order, Zach turns to me and lets out a relieved sigh. “I was really nervous about telling them.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. I knew they would be nothing but supportive and happy for us, but I was still nervous about their reaction.”

“No, I get it. They’re important to you.” I take his hand, lacing our fingers together. “I’m glad you’ve had this, though. This support network around you. I never really understood until now just kinda… how alone you were without me, I guess. I’m glad you’ve got these guys.”

Zach presses his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, and when we move to sit on the couch, Elliot’s standing in front of us, blocking our path.

“Okay, so I’m like super happy for you both. If I had pom-poms, I’d be doing some kind of cheer right now and making a song out of your names, but how about we do a little less kissing and more gaming?” He holds out the game controller, but his face falls when Zach holds up his casted wrist.

“No can do, bud. I’ll be on your team though for moral support.”

Elliot seems content with that, and Zach gives me a quick kiss before taking a seat next to Elliot and Blaine as they power up the game console.

Heading into the kitchen, I place my beer down and lean against the counter next to Ethan.

“How’s he doing?” Ethan asks quietly. “He mentioned the other day his cast is coming off soon, but he didn’t say anything about the headaches.”

“He’s doing okay, but the migraines are still knocking him around. The doctor doesn’t seem too concerned, though. She said it’s pretty normal, given the severity of the concussion.” I chew on my bottom lip. Ethan’s been the Thunder’s captain for over a decade, and as the oldest guy on the team, he’s naturally taken on the “papa bear” role.

“I had a word with Chris and told him that Zach might not always tell us about it. He will try and play through it, so we need to watch for signs. I’ve been reading up on it so I can keep my eye on him. Any slight sign of a migraine, and I’ll be getting him checked.”

My breath whooshes out of me. Ethan’s hit the nail on the head regarding the concern that’s been swirling in my chest. Zach can be stubborn as fuck. I know that, and I’m so fucking relieved that his captain knows that too.

“Thank you, it means a lot knowing he has you looking out for him,” I say, genuinely grateful. “I’m not going to lie to you, it’s been stressing me out. I’ve felt helpless these last few weeks, you know? I wish there was more I could do to help him, take some of that pain away, because I know that the second the doctor says his wrist is good, it’ll all come down to his headaches, and I know he’ll downplay his pain just so he can get back out there.”

“Just being here for him is helping him. He’s an intelligent guy, but it’s a case of making sure he knows hockey isn’t everything, and now that you’re here and you’re together, I’m hoping he’ll make the right decision and put his health first.”

Swallowing roughly, I ask the question that’s been playing on my mind since Jacob came over. “Did… did you know?”

“That he’s been in love with you all this time?” He lifts a brow and smirks.

“Yeah…”

He nods. “Yeah, I did. I’ve always had an inkling because of your level of codependency. You’ve been so close for a long time, and I often wondered if there was more to it, but I knew for sure when he came over as soon as he got back from Denver and told us.”

“Us?”

“Jacob and me,” Ethan confirms.

“Oh.” I nod, letting out a shaky breath. Well, that explains Jacob’s excitement when he found out the other day.

Glancing over at the couch where everyone’s sitting, I watch as Zach tilts his head back and laughs at something Peyton’s said, and something warms my chest at seeing him happy.

“It broke me when he left. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame him for leaving, especially now that I know the reason why, but it was the first time I experienced heartbreak in a sense.” I rub the back of my neck. “When I spoke with my ex-girlfriend the other week, she pointed out that I was more upset over him leaving than when she broke up with me.”

Ethan laughs softly under his breath, and it’s almost strange to see. Ethan’s always been this impenetrable force. Always so serious and guarded, but since he met Jacob, it’s like those sharp edges have softened, and the walls he kept so high have slowly lowered and allowed people in.

“I think the time apart was good for you. Hell, look at where you are now. It might hurt to think about those pockets of your past, but it also got you here. You’re together. Sometimes it takes seeing someone you love walk away from you to realize what’s important.”

“I think it was when the doctor told me I was listed as his emergency contact. It was like something clicked in my brain. He’s always been my person. The one I feel most connected to, who I feel at home with, and I realized what I’ve been looking for has been right in front of me all this time. It scared me that it could have been taken away from me before I had the chance to do something about it. And now I’m so scared about fucking this up because I’m desperate to show him that my feelings are real. That this isn’t some flippant choice I’ve made because I found out his secret.”

Ethan sighs and gives a reassuring smile. “If you’re genuine, I don’t believe he’ll see it like that. I mean, I get why you’d think he would question your motives, but I also think you need to be mindful that these feelings aren’t new to him. They’re decades old, and he’s been so worried about losing you that he’s bound to be a little hesitant. He’s just as scared as you are, but you’ve just got to be patient and continue to show him he doesn’t need to be. Like that speech you made earlier.” He points with his beer bottle to the middle of the living room. “That was genuine. I could tell it was from the heart, and that’s what’s important. I nearly lost Jacob because I didn’t speak from my heart when it counted, so don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate—” The sound of the buzzer makes me jump, and Ethan chuckles under his breath.

“Pizza’s here!” Elliot shouts as he leaps off the couch to get the door, causing Ernie to scramble behind him.

“Anytime.” He nudges me with his elbow, grabbing my attention as everyone begins to filter into the kitchen. “You know where to find me if you need anything, and Jacob’s around when I’m on the road. He adores Zach, so I know he’ll jump at the chance to help where he can.”

Zach sidles up next to me before I have the chance to reply. He wraps an arm around my waist as he presses a kiss to my neck.

“Thank you,” I mouth over his shoulder, and Ethan winks before turning to take his pizza.

“You good?” Zach asks, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and handing me a beer.

“Yeah, just been catching up with your captain.”

His blue eyes sparkle as he smiles brightly. The happiness he’s feeling being here with his teammates, with me, is visceral. It wraps around my heart, flooding my body with warmth.

There might still be some anxiety about the what-ifs when he eventually returns to the ice, but after speaking with Ethan and seeing the look of adoration shining in Zach’s eyes, I know we’re going to be okay.