Page 1 of Defensive Zone (Chicago Thunder #3)

December - nine years ago

Zach

“Come on, Reid!”

A heavy sigh escapes my lips, but it’s quickly followed by a smile. I’m unable to take my eyes off my best friend as he attempts to do the Cha Cha Slide in the middle of the living room. Attempt being the key word here, because while everyone goes left, Carter goes right. When they go back, he goes forward. It’s a good thing he can read plays on the field; otherwise, his football career would be a disaster.

He lifts his hand, waving me over to join in, but I shake my head. I’m happy watching from the sidelines, where I have a quick escape route if it becomes too crowded. Don’t get me wrong, I like parties. I’m in college, it’s kinda mandatory to attend a frat party or ten, especially because I’m on the hockey team at one of the best Division I universities in the NCAA. Apparently, having your name on a roster makes you a somebody and gives you an open invitation to every party . The part I don’t like is the sheer amount of people that attend these things. Throw in the fact Carter is on the football team too, and once you combine both the hockey and football teams, you have fifty plus dudes being testosterone-filled hounds.

And that’s not even accounting for the other sports teams that come along and everyone who wants to be in attendance.

So, unlike Carter, who likes to be in the midst of it, I like to hover around the door or stay outside if it’s fairer weather. Tonight, however, I have no escape except for my room, but I’ve already been told the host disappearing before midnight is frowned upon.

Yep, that’s right. Tonight’s New Year’s Eve party is at our house.

Great .

When my roommates brought up the idea of hosting a party here, I should have nipped it in the bud there and then. Maybe I should have suggested they went for it while I got a hotel room somewhere and ate a pizza in bed in my underwear. But one look at the excitement on my best friend’s face, and I crumbled like a house of cards in a light breeze.

I’ll do anything for Carter Lockwood, even if it means breaking our ten-year-old New Year’s ritual of watching Return of the Jedi at two minutes past ten so the Death Star explodes exactly as the clock strikes midnight.

If that isn’t friendship, I don’t know what is.

The song ends, and Carter makes his way over to me, his smile bright and warm. There’s a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead, and my fingers twitch with the urge to wipe it from his brow.

“I think I nailed that.” He thumbs over his shoulder to where people are now dancing to some R&B track.

I arch a brow. “You did something all right. I wouldn’t quite put it down as nailed, but a solid C for effort,” I reply and give him a thumbs-up.

“Jeez, thanks.” He laughs, batting my thumb away, then jerking his head toward the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go get a drink before it all disappears.”

It’s still early into the night, but no doubt we’ll see another wave of people turn up within the next hour. I follow him through the bodies toward where we’ve created a makeshift bar. The invite said to bring your own beer, but we did set up a keg and some homemade fruit punch that has more than the recommended amount of rum in it. I took one sniff of it earlier and nearly hurled from the smell.

I won’t be drinking any of that, that’s for sure.

Picking up two Solo cups from the stack, I fill one up with beer, and as I turn back to hand it over to Carter, Paisley sidles up to him, a sweet smile on her lips.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” she coos with a flutter of her lashes.

“Well, I kinda live here.” Carter’s tone is teasing, but he still flashes her his signature flirty smile.

Paisley is a nice girl. She’s in my economics class, but I can’t help but glare at her over the lip of my cup as her tiny hand slides over Carter’s forearm and gives it a slight squeeze. All the girls like Carter. He’s a super nice guy, funny, incredibly attractive too. I don’t blame them for wanting to be the lucky one who gets to spend the night with him and kiss him at midnight.

Unlucky for me, though, is the fact I want that too.

I’ve never told him how I feel. How I was ten years old when I first felt something different for him. That fuzzy feeling in my chest. Something that went beyond the normal measures of friendship.

My gut twists as Paisley giggles and takes a step closer to Carter, running her hand up the center of his expansive chest. She lifts herself up on her toes and motions with her fingers for him to bend down. He wraps an arm around her waist, his thumb brushing over her hip. Dark spots cloud my vision as she whispers something in his ear. I tighten my hold on the plastic cup in my hands as anger burns my chest and squeezes my ribs tight.

He’s mine! I want to snarl.

But I don’t. Because friends don’t do that.

Instead, I try to compose myself, taking in coarse breaths through my nose.

“I would love to, Paise, but I’m spending the night with my boy here.” Carter’s voice snaps me out of my envied daze as he nudges my shoulder with his fist. “Did you know we’ve spent every New Year’s together since we were six? But maybe we can hang out another time.”

“Of course. Sorry. I should’ve known.” She tries to give him a nonchalant smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She walks off, and Carter turns to me, none the wiser.

He rolls his eyes adoringly, clearly unaware that once again, our friendship has inadvertently cockblocked him. Does he not realize some people think we’re secretly dating because he always puts me before getting laid?

Not that I’m complaining. I’m happy being the center of Carter’s world alongside football, but I just hope that he knows what he’s doing. Or if he doesn’t, that he at least doesn’t hold it against me when realization hits him.

I want him to be happy, most of all, and if that means being with someone such as Paisley, I won’t stand in his way.

“You could have gone with her if you wanted.” The words are like acid on my tongue, but I swallow it down.

He wraps an arm around my shoulders and knocks our cups together, the movement causing beer to spill onto his fingers. “And leave you? I don’t think so. Like I said to Paisley, we’ve called in the new year together for fourteen years. I’m not going to stop that now.”

We haven’t spent a single holiday away from each other during that time, but it’s soon going to come to an end after graduation, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

“What’s going to happen when we make it to the pros? We might end up in different cities.”

Carter’s about to open his mouth to answer when the front door swings open, letting in a blast of cold air—which is appreciated because damn, I didn’t realize how hot it’s gotten in here—followed by the raucous roar of more people piling into the house.

“Here comes the wave,” I murmur under my breath, watching what seems like never-ending people filtering in.

There are too many people.

I wiggle my fingers as they start to tingle, and it’s the telltale sign it’s time to make my escape, host rules be damned. I cast a glance at Carter, and without a word, he jerks his head toward the stairs, instantly reading my thoughts. He grabs hold of my wrist as we weave through the groups of people, and I follow him up the stairs. I’m thankful that my roommates declared the upper floors off limits, so by the time we reach the third floor where both our rooms are, it’s quieter. Just the dull thump of bass and the sound of my breathing.

We make it to my room and close the door behind us. Carter sighs, running a hand through his dark hair as he falls back onto my bed, his arms slumping beside him.

“This was such a fucking bad idea. I’m sorry,” he apologizes, glancing up at me with his face full of sorrow.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to it.”

He lifts his head, one eyebrow arched. “Yeah, which was a surprise, by the way.”

“I said yes because I knew you wanted to do it.” I shrug.

“You’re such an idiot, you know that? You don’t have to be uncomfortable just to make me happy, because it doesn’t make me happy knowing you’re uncomfortable.” Carter rolls his eyes, but there’s no annoyance there as his lips tip up in a slow smile. Shifting on the bed, he rests his head against my pillow, then opens up his arms. “Don’t just stand there, bring it in.”

Smiling, I kick off my shoes, and he does the same, his shoes landing on the floor with a thunk. The mattress springs groan under my weight as I press a knee onto the bed. We’re both big guys, and this bed can barely support us. Slotting my shoulder against his rib cage, I rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me, and we just lie there in contented silence as we listen to the sounds of the party.

Some might find it weird that two guys in a platonic friendship are so affectionate to one another, but we’ve been this way since we were six. I was out front playing hockey, my goal situated in front of the fence, when an SUV and U-Haul van pulled up in front of the house next door. The moment he climbed out the back of the car, he spotted me. His face lit up, and he ran over, a football in his hands. He demanded I play with him and told me hockey wasn’t as fun as football, but he would play with me as long as I played football with him afterward. One look at his goofy grin, and I was sucked in.

Warmth spread through my chest. Something akin to pure happiness as he told me right there and then, “You’re my best friend now. No backsies!”

I wasn’t a very social child. The kids at school would make small talk because of my older brother, Brody, or my dad, who was an NHL superstar at the time, but they didn’t want to be my friends. So, I preferred my own company. It was safer that way. And when I wasn’t playing hockey, I would be sitting in my room, reading comics and playing video games.

The day the Lockwoods moved in was the first day someone chose me as their friend.

Since then, we have done everything together. We went to the same schools and spent every night together. Weekends and vacations, we were inseparable. We even made sure we got into the same college because we didn’t want to be apart.

I don’t want to think about what it will be like when we graduate and head to different cities. Neither of us is na?ve enough to think we’ll end up playing our respective sports in the same place because life doesn’t work like that, but I hope the distance won’t destroy our friendship.

“Do you ever think about what life will be like when we head to the pros?” I ask, giving light to the thought running through my mind.

“Sometimes,” he answers, his deep rumble vibrating against my ear. “Wherever we end up, we’ve got to promise to always hang out whenever we’re in the same city. To spend our off-seasons together. We need to go on at least one vacation together a year. We’ve gotta talk every day, even if it’s on FaceTime while we heat up our pre-made meals. No matter what, we come first. We make each other our priority.”

I have no doubt I will. Carter has been my priority for most of my life, but there is this inkling of doubt that when I’m not around, the distance will become more than just geographical. When he inevitably meets someone because I’ll no longer be a cockblock.

“We’ve still got time to watch Return of the Jedi ,” he suggests with a tilt of his head, looking down at me. “Maybe we can stick to tradition after all?”

My insides light up.

“Yeah?”

He nods, smiling lazily. “Load it up, Reid.”

Leaning over, I grab the TV remote from the nightstand, load up the streaming service, and find the movie. As the intro rolls, I settle back onto the bed. Carter wraps his arm around my shoulders again, threading his fingers through the hair on my crown. Whenever we lie like this, he likes to play with my hair. A few years ago, I decided to grow it to give him more to play with, as he says it’s calming for him.

And I’m not going to lie, it’s calming for me, too.

Placing an arm over his stomach, I snort as he begins to recite the words on the screen in a cinematic voice. A sense of peace settles between us as we watch the movie that’s been our routine for ten years, occasionally echoing the words as they’re spoken on screen. I’m pretty sure we could recite the entire script off the top of our heads.

We’re almost two hours into the movie when Carter sits up with a groan. I roll off him and onto my back, watching as he removes his phone from his jeans pocket, tapping the screen to light it up and check the time.

“Okay, we have ten minutes until we can time it right. Let me go get some snacks, then we can bring in the new year with a bang.” He grins.

I laugh, pausing the movie as he climbs over me.

“Hurry up! The Death Star has gotta explode at midnight to count!” I call out, listening to the thunder of his feet as he runs down the stairs.

I keep an eye on the time on my phone, watching as minute after minute goes by and there’s no sign of him coming back.

When there’s four minutes left of our timer, I get up and head downstairs. Maybe he got caught up or there’s a problem. These parties never usually go without some form of altercation. But as soon as I get to the bottom of the stairs, my stomach drops. With the bag of our favorite potato chips tucked under one arm and the other placed on the wall by her head, he’s chatting with Paisley, his face bright with whatever topic he’s talking about. She tips her head back and laughs, and then her dainty hand is back on his chest, and his dark, hooded eyes sparkle at the move as his head gets closer to hers, and his tongue swipes over his lips. A rush of heat floods through my body, but it’s not from desire.

No, it’s from jealousy—and embarrassment.

I was ten years old when I fell in love with Carter Lockwood. I didn’t know what it was at first—the feeling of euphoria that would take over me whenever he was around. It was only when I got older that I realized it was love, but I kept my feelings to myself in fear of losing him. Carter would talk about girls in a way that let me know he didn’t feel the same way about me, and I told myself that was okay because he was still my best friend.

Tonight, our New Year’s Eve ritual came to an end. I’ve kept my feelings squashed down for the last decade, but I guess it’s time to squash them down for good.

As the only thing exploding tonight is my heart shattering into pieces as the clock strikes midnight.