Page 51

Chapter Eight

Jace was awake the entire night, with Sam’s naked body nestled against his, her breasts snuggled into his side—a serious distraction from sleep.

Unfortunately, he still did a lot of thinking.

About what she meant to him. About the fact that he was pretty sure he loved her.

Dammit.

Love. Had he always loved her? Probably. It was likely why there had never been a woman in his life that he’d wanted to keep more than Sam. Because when push came to shove with relationships, Sam had always been an issue.

No, he’d never said anything to her about it because, in his opinion, it wasn’t her problem. But at some point, his girlfriends started getting touchy about her. Her place in his life, him going to her house to watch movies until midnight.

And some part of him knew that their jealousy was normal for the situation. But mainly, the conversation always ended with him getting pissed and telling them that if they wanted to mark their territory, he was the wrong guy for them .

Not one of them had enticed him to change his situation with Sam. Ever.

Because Samantha was always the most important. Samantha made his world spin. He was so attracted to her it hurt. He thought about her all the time—his first thought when he got up, his last before he went to sleep.

Yeah. So that was probably love.

Dammit again.

He got out of bed, leaving Sam there, soft and sleepy and so sexy. If he didn’t move away from her he was going to jump her, and until they talked he didn’t feel comfortable doing that.

He crossed the gray room, the sun still not up over the mountains, and went into the bathroom, turning on the water and waiting for it to warm up before stepping under the shower head.

Love.

How had it come to this? He wanted to tell her. And he wanted to hide it forever. Or at least until he figured out what he could do with it. What it meant for him. For them.

He pushed water back from his face, sliding his hands over his hair, leaning back against the hard tile. Love was elating and terrifying. Like a roller coaster. The climb to the peak was incredible, the free fall after...in Sam’s arms...amazing.

It was the blind corners that were killing him. They’d survived everything behind them, sure, but he had no idea what was up ahead.

The door to the shower opened and he turned. Sam was standing there, naked and biting her lip, looking nervous and beautiful, so damn perfect it hurt.

“Mind if I come in?” she asked.

“Please,” he said, his voice rough, not like his own at all .

She did, closing the door behind her, the moisture in the air clinging to her hair, which was completely wrecked after their activities last night. She wrapped her arms around her midsection, the action pushing her breasts up and together.

And he could only stare.

Had she always been this beautiful? How the hell had he survived looking at her for the past fourteen years without his head, or other parts, exploding?

Not the most romantic thought. But honest.

Right now though, it wasn’t just his cock that was on the verge of serious injury. It was his heart. It felt like a fist was squeezing it so tight that his chest might cave in due to the pressure.

She didn’t make a move to touch him, but she was here, in the shower with him, so that had to mean something.

“So, I was thinking,” she said, her voice soft.

“Sounds dangerous.”

“Does it?”

He shrugged, feeling a little like an asshole for trying to have a conversation while standing in front of her with an erection that was advertising the true contents of his thoughts. “I’m having trouble doing any real thinking right now.”

She looked down. “Yeah. Well...I can see that.”

“Sorry.” He wasn’t. Not really. She was there and naked. And he was crazy about her. If he was lucky enough to see her naked every day of his life for the next sixty years, she would probably always make him hard. That was just the simple truth.

“I was just thinking that...that there’s no going back, Jace,” she said.

The way she said it made him feel cold. Like he was sure he wouldn’t like the next words out of her mouth.

“I can’t forget last night or what happened before that.

The only solution is to...is to keep going until we come out the other side. That makes sense, right?”

“I suppose,” he said. Except he was right—he didn’t like what she was saying.

What she was saying made it sound like they were lost in the forest, muddling around, groping and falling into each other’s naked bodies.

But not to worry—they would find the other side eventually and all the groping could stop.

And that wasn’t how he felt. He didn’t feel lost. He finally felt like he’d found himself.

“While I’m living here...Jace, this tension isn’t going to let up while I’m here. There’s no freaking way. We’ve seen each other naked. We’ve...y’know, and we’ll be sleeping down the hall from each other and...it’s not going to work.”

“I agree.” Kind of.

“So, I think...as long as we want it, let’s have it. While it feels right, we do it. And when it doesn’t...we’ll stop and never look back.”

“Can you do that?” he asked, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.

“What other choice is there?”

There was another choice. One he knew she wasn’t ready to address. One he was more than ready to take on.

If he said the L-word now, he would scare her away. But he could show her. He could make her fall in love with him before they got out of the damned woods.

He wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her up against his body and kissed her. That was his answer. Because he wasn’t agreeing to her terms, not really. He had his own agenda. And he wasn’t about to give away his plans.

She didn’t seem to want to talk any more, though. She was kissing him back, and his whole body felt like it was on fire, the stream of the shower not nearly enough to stop the flames from burning through him. Consuming him.

She was so soft. So perfect. Everything he’d ever wanted. Everything he’d never known he wanted.

The woman he loved.

He groaned and pushed her back against the wall, deepening the kiss, cupping her full breasts in his hands, her skin slick, sexy.

Tempting. He leaned forward and licked the water droplets running down between her breasts, lowered his hands and sucked her nipple deep into his mouth, drinking in the moisture that had pooled on her body.

She shifted, opening herself up to him, and he reached down, gripping her thigh and tugging it up over his hip, testing the entrance of her body with the head of his erection.

He slid deep inside of her, his breath exiting in a gust, curling around his throat and pressing against his windpipe, making breathing an impossibility. But it was okay; he didn’t need to breathe. He just needed her.

The feel of her, hot and wet, tight around him, the water hot on his back, her breasts crushed against his chest. It was too much, but it was perfect.

She gripped his ass and pulled him forward, burying him deeper inside her body. She had her eyes closed, her head back against the wall, her brows locked together, her lips parted slightly.

He leaned in and kissed her because in his mind, parting her lips just like that was an invitation to taste her. An invitation she’d made subconsciously for years, one he’d denied because he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

But he wasn’t denying it anymore. Never again.

He slid his tongue over her lush bottom lip, taking in her flavor, her texture. Like a crushed rose petal dipped in sugar. Sweet, velvet perfection.

He moved his hands over her curves, the water easing his way. Full breasts, slim waist, rounded hips. A fantasy. But no matter how those curves changed and reshaped over the years, they would still be a fantasy. They would always be his fantasy.

She would always be his fantasy.

He was lost then, in her body, in her sighs, in her nails digging into his back.

He wrenched his mouth from hers and pressed his face to her neck.

His orgasm rushed up over him, blinding him, making him feel like he was losing his grip.

On his surroundings, on the world. So all he could do was cling to Sam.

She dug her nails deeper into his back, the pain a sharp spike of reality amid the pleasure, helping him stay standing as he emptied himself into her body, his thighs shaking, his whole body shaking.

It wasn’t until he came back to himself that he realized he was biting her neck. Not hard. Just a little. But still. He moved away from her, examining the little mark he’d left there.

He brushed the back of his knuckle over the indents, regret slugging him in the gut. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered, leaning in and kissing her over her delicate, marred skin.

“Mmm.” She tilted her head and kissed his cheek. “Don’t apologize.”

“I hurt you,” he said, lifting his head and looking into her eyes.

“A little. But it was the fun kind. And no guy has ever gotten so into it with me before. You make me feel... different.” She smiled, sweet and sleepy. “And the orgasms are pretty rad too.”

“Rad?”

“Yeah.” Her smile widened. “Got a problem with that?”

“Not at all.” Hell, he was just glad he was in a position to give her orgasms. He wasn’t going to argue with her choice of outdated nineties slang when expressing her enjoyment of them.

“Good.” She smacked his butt and wiggled out of his hold as she stepped out of the shower.

He turned the water off and followed her out into the cold air. She was drying off and it should not be as hot as it was. He was sure he’d seen women dry off after a shower. He was sure he’d had sex in the shower before.

He just couldn’t remember very clearly. Not because there had been so many or anything, just because.

..every other woman seemed indistinct in his memory now.

Every other time seemed indistinct. Samantha was the definition of sexy to him.

His life’s sexiest moments were now made up of encounters that had happened with her, and all in the past couple of days.

“Baby, I could watch you do that...for another ten seconds and then I would jump you again,” he said.

She smiled at him, hot and tempting. “Already?”

“You said no man had ever been like this with you, which proves what I already knew: you have dated assholes. But it also means that I have to tell you I’ve never been this way with any other woman. Ever.”

Her cheeks turned pink and she tugged the towel up over her breasts. Funny what made her blush. And what didn’t.

“That’s nice of you to say. But you don’t have to say it. ”

“I do. Because it’s true. Because you’re different. Because I bit you. I’ve never bitten a woman in my life.”

“If you were Poppy, I would have smacked you with a newspaper.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

She let out a long breath and hugged the towel closer to her body. She looked smaller for a moment. Unsure. And he wanted to grab her and pull her into his arms. He wanted to reassure her. But he didn’t know if she wanted him to. He didn’t know what was allowed in this little scenario of hers.

And he didn’t want to push her too far. Not yet. Too much pushing and she would scurry off into those metaphorical woods without him and he wouldn’t have the chance to make his case for forever.

His chest suddenly felt tight. Was that what he wanted? Forever? With her and Poppy in his house, screwing shit up and leaving hair and footprints everywhere?

Yes. Yes it was.

He’d spent most of his adult life protecting his space and his organization, prizing it above all else.

And it hit him then that if he kept on doing that, he wasn’t any better than his mother. Loving his things more than he loved people. Of course, he was into neat and clean rather than piles of trash. But it was the same idea.

If he took on Sam, he had to let her in. Really. He had to let her have an equal share. He had to give up control.

And in that same moment, he realized he would give up anything, even a clean floor, for her. He would let her damned dog on the couch. He would let the damned dog in his bed. As long as Sam was there too.

Okay, he would get used to those ideas in stages. And maybe they could compromise.

But the sentiment stood .

“Yeah, well. Don’t push your luck. Anyway...the cupcakes will not frost themselves.”

“My cows won’t take their own vitamins either.”

“Or cut off their own...well.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay so...makeup is in the other bathroom and I...” She shrugged her pale shoulders and backed out of the bathroom.

He didn’t know what had caused her unease, but she was definitely uneasy. He let out a breath and walked into his room, hunting for his clothes. He would have to follow her lead. To a point. Then he was going to do some pushing.

Because he was done hanging in limbo. He knew what he wanted now. He knew what he felt. He loved her. For better or worse, for chewed-up throw pillows or orderly house. And that meant he wasn’t going to just hang back.

And she wasn’t going to be able to avoid him forever.