Page 37

“I know,” she says. “It doesn’t feel like a terrible secret with you.

It never did. I was never afraid of how you would react.

Ever. I saw you, and it was like… I thought…

There you are. There’s this other piece of me.

That knight in shining armor I always wanted to come rescue me.

The one true king. I knew you had to be out there, and then there you were.

Another part of my soul that had been missing for me forever. ”

“You were eight,” I say, my voice rough. “You didn’t think all that.”

“I absolutely did.” Then she says, so softly I almost don’t hear her. “I would have been such a romantic if life hadn’t made me scared to dream.”

I clench my jaw, tightening it, my teeth grinding. It hurts to hear her say that. I want to give it all back to her. Everything.

I swallow hard. “When I saw you… I could see that you’d been hurt really badly.

” I look out at the middle distance, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

“One time, I… at one of the homes I lived in, I befriended a litter of feral barn cats. It took a while for them to let me pick them up. They scratched me at first. Bit me. You reminded me of a little feral cat. One who wanted care but didn’t know how to have it.

And hell, I didn’t really know how to give it.

I wanted to. You know what a gift it is to be a kid with nothing, to suddenly have someone else to care for. To love. ”

“I think I do now,” she says softly.

The difficult issue of her moving out is tabled as we both sit in those feelings.

Whatever happens with us, our connection will always be one of the most profound things I’ve ever experienced.

Hell, I’m convinced it’s one of the most profound things in all the world.

So whatever else there is, there’s that.

We listen to music for part of the drive, and by the time we roll into the hotel that we’re staying at, it’s getting to be about dinnertime.

We got a nice place on the edge of town, tucked away in the trees, the biggest lodging in sisters, and one that puts the little roadside motel we stayed in to shame.

But that’s the thing. I have money, and I might not spare an extra dime to make myself comfortable, but I’ll give Sarah whatever she needs.

Will you? Are you being petty when she’s telling you what she needs .

Yeah. I kind of am.

I want to say something to her about it, but I can see that she’s getting antsy.

“You want to order dinner?”

“I actually just want to get my stuff, get it loaded up, grab my car and be done with that place. I need to. Like I just need to… I just need to be done.”

“Okay.”

I stash our stuff as quickly as possible, and we get back into the truck and take the fifteen-minute drive to her apartment.

We pull into the driveway, and I look around. There’s no one around, the street clear.

It’s clear that Sarah doesn’t want to linger. She heads straight up the stairs and unlocks the door, and we both head inside .

She insists on team lifting furniture with me – which is hilarious. She’s no help at all. But it’s cute. If she’d just stay with me she wouldn’t need furniture.

I’m especially bitter taking her bed apart.

“You’re a dark cloud,” she says.

“I want you with me,” I say.

She steps toward me and touches my face. “You have me, Dallas.”

Across time. Across town. I always had her. But somehow I never felt like I could get close enough. I feel so desperate and needy every time I look at her.

I want her to wear my ring. To live with me. I want her in ways I can’t explain.

The corner of her mouth tips upward. “What?”

“I think if I told you I’d scare you.”

I go back to disassembling her bed. It’s the very last thing. We get it all packed away and I shut the trailer up and turn away from it.

Then pause.

I have a strange sensation prickling the back of my neck. I stop, and I listen. I don’t hear anything.

But the vibe is suddenly off. Like the air changed.

I don’t like it. I turn around, and there’s a car across the street that wasn’t there before. And there’s a man sitting behind the wheel.

Oh fuck .

I just know it. In my gut.

“Sarah,” I touch her arm. “Is that him?”

She startles and turns, her eyes wide. “Oh, oh no, Dallas…” Suddenly, I see her, my fierce, glorious Sarah become small again. I see her become that little girl that I wanted to protect.

That little girl this man hurt .

I imagine her the way she described herself all those years ago. Not eating. Not letting people touch her. The way that I met her, fierce and feral biting and scratching, doing anything she could to keep yourself safe.

And the rage that pours through my body is murderous.

“I’ll handle it,” I say.

“No. Dallas…”

“Wait in the truck,” I say.

“Dallas no…”

“Now,” I say.

Something in my tone gets through to her and she obeys me, stepping up into the truck and getting inside. I reach into my pocket and lock the doors. She’s safe. That’s what matters. This isn’t her battle, not now.

She has me to fight for her.

She’ll never have to fight again.

I start crossing the street, and he gets out of the car.

He’s a small man.

Doesn’t matter how tall he actually is. He small . He’s no kind of man. He’s looking at me like he thinks he can fucking menace me. But as I get closer, I see fear in his eyes, because he’s used to frightening children. Women. People who are smaller and weaker than he is.

It is time for him to tangle with somebody his size. It’s time for him to know what it means to be afraid. To be the one begging for mercy.

“I want you to know,” I say. “I’ll send you straight to hell and never lose a minute of sleep.”

He opens his mouth to start to speak but I don’t want to hear a single word he has to say. I never want to hear his fucking voice. I don’t want him to become a person. I don’t want him to try and justify a damn thing. He’s a worm. A lowlife, he deserves nothing .

And so I catch whatever he was going to say with my fist, plowing it straight into his teeth. When I feel them give, and I feel a deep sense of satisfaction.

He rallies to try and block my next punch, but he can’t do it.

I hit him in the side of the head, then hit him again for good measure.

He falls to the ground, legs splayed wide, and I stomp his knee with the heel of my cowboy boot, satisfied when I hear a snap.

“If you ever show your damned face anywhere near her, ever again, I’ll kill you.

You understand me?” He’s whimpering, unintelligible.

Because, of course, he is. Because he’s scared now that he has to face a man.

“You better never look for her, but you better wonder if I’m looking for you, you understand me?

She doesn’t belong to you. She never did.

You fucking useless waste of space.” He tries to speak, the sound strangled.

“Not a word from you. You don’t get to speak.

If you try to involve the cops I’ll tell them you started it.

Yeah, your word against a woman’s seems to work out well for you, but try it against me.

See how it goes. The worst thing that could happen to you is they do nothing, and then it’s just you and me still out here. ”

I can tell he hates this. That I’ve made him feel small and helpless. I revel in it. I hope she sees it.

I’d ask him to beg me for mercy, but I never want to hear his voice.

I’d ask him to beg for mercy, but I wouldn’t give it. It’s in his best interest to leave now, so I don’t finish the job.

“Leave,” I say. “Never, ever let me see you again.”

He whimpers, and climbs back into his car, laboring to move with his broken leg, but his pedal leg isn’t busted so there’s no reason he can’t get his sorry ass out of here.

I’m sure shock will help with that, and it’ll be a painful bitch when it wears off. At least I hope so.

I stand there, watching as he drives away, until I can’t see him anymore, adrenaline pumping through my veins.

I turn and see Sarah, sitting in the truck still, frozen. Her face is white, tears streaming down her cheeks. I watch as his car disappears down the road, and only then do I get into the truck with Sarah, pulling her against my chest as she shakes and cries.

“He’s never going to bother you again. He’s never, fucking ever going to bother you again, do you understand me? You’re going to go on and you’re going to have a life. The life that you want, that you need. And I’m always going to protect you. Always.”

“Dallas,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Thank you.”

“He’s had that coming for years.”

“Yeah,” she says. “He has. What if he reports you to the police?”

“It’ll be his word against mine. And I don’t think he’s going to like that experience. I also think he’s not going to involve the cops, because last time he went to prison. But it’s why I didn’t kill him. I can’t be with you from spending the rest of my life in jail.”

She laughs, a watery sound. “Well, I don’t want you to go to jail.”

“Me neither. But I would. For you.”

“I’d rather if you stayed out here and lived with me instead.”