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Chapter Twelve

Dallas

“I want to do something nice for Sarah’s birthday,” I say, lingering in my mom’s kitchen long after dinner is over.

“When is it?”

“It’s tomorrow.”

She rolls her eyes. “Dallas,” she says. “A little advanced warning would be good. We could have a party for her here.”

“I told her I’d take her to the saloon. Because she’s turning twenty-one.”

She looks at me. “And you’ve cleared this with her for real?”

“I have. And I invited a couple of people.”

Inviting Colt made me feel edgy, but I did it, because it’s not about me, it’s about Sarah, and he is one of the people that she’s met.

I also invited Allison, who I believe is bringing her brother Gentry, and Gentry is probably bringing his friend Lily, since wherever he goes, she goes, and it’s another opportunity for Sarah to meet a woman who lives in town.

“All right. So, what do you need to make it special?”

“I don’t know. A cake. I’ve never baked a cake.”

She smiles at me. “Okay, well, let’s go to the store. I can get you a cake mix. You can make it here. Isn’t she studying at your place tonight?”

I nod.

“All right. So, let’s get to baking.”

She drives me to the local grocery store, and I choose a strawberry cake mix because it’s pink. And glittery sprinkles. I definitely go overboard with candles and decorations.

I’ve never made a cake, and I have no idea how to even decorate one. But I just grabbed everything I thought looked like Sarah.

Pretty and princessy.

Maybe I’m thinking of her when she was younger. But she didn’t have enough birthday parties. She didn’t have enough good things, and I want to give them to her. I want it more than I want anything in that moment.

Kaylee has a soft look on her face, something that seems a lot like contentment, and it makes my chest feel bruised.

She adopted me officially years ago. She’s really the only mom I know.

And I’m really lucky. In the mom stakes, they don’t get much better than she does.

She was good at giving me tough love when I needed it, even before she was dating my dad.

“I think you did a great job,” she says, insisting that she paid for the basket of groceries, which I think is outrageous.

“I’m an adult, Mom,” I say.

“Not to me really,” she says.

And then she makes me put the cart back, which feels fair .

We drive back to the ranch, and she proves to me that making a box cake really is very simple, and I don’t have to be intimidated by it. I just have to follow the instructions.

“I know you don’t love following instructions,” she says.

I roll my eyes at her.

I play video games with the girls while we wait for the cake to bake and then cool.

They have my old Xbox from back in the day, and it’s crazy to me that they find it even remotely relevant, but they are children.

It’s been a long time since I’ve played video games.

My poor dad bought the Xbox for me to blackmail me into liking him, I’m pretty sure.

I didn’t need it.

But I did have a lot of fun with it.

When the cake is cool, Kaylee doesn’t help me at all as I decorate it.

It becomes a free-for-all. Pink icing dripping everywhere, glittery sugar sprinkles and pearlescent chocolate beads in random spots over the top of it. Then she hands me a bag of bright pink frosting for piping, and I write Happy Birthday Sarah in the most hideous handwriting you’ve ever seen.

“What do you think?” I ask.

She puts her arm around me and gives me a squeeze. “I think you’re probably the best friend she could ever ask for.”

That warms me, even though I’m also aware she didn’t compliment the cake itself. Either way, I feel a deep satisfaction in my soul. I know the cake is ugly. But it’s for her . If I could’ve put my heart in the middle of it and somehow not die, and have it not be gross, I would’ve done that.

“She means a lot to you,” Kaylee says, and it doesn’t feel loaded when she says it. I don’t feel like she’s trying to convince me that my relationship with Sarah needs to evolve into something else. It’s like she actually sees and recognizes the connection.

“Yeah. I think… I think she’s the first person I ever loved.”

“That’s really special, Dallas.”

She means it. She’s not placating me or just trying to make me feel better or whatever. She means it.

And I agree.

Because Sarah is the most precious person to me. Maybe because I know how difficult everything has been for her. So, I hope that I can give her a birthday that feels a little bit nice. It won’t make up for everything, but it’ll be something.