Page 8 of Cruel Alpha (Nightfire Islands Alphas #1)

It had taken a few days for the fear to settle into a low background rumble after the Arbor Alpha and his Betas left Lapine. Caleb hadn’t assigned me any of the usual jobs that the females on the islands undertook while the males worked the quarry, mining the strong red rock that we traded with other Packs. I wasn’t put to work in the laundry or childcare or elder care. It was probably for the best: if I went out to work then the twins would have to go to the communal nursery, and we didn’t need Emmy’s power making an appearance there. It was better for all of us to stay out of sight and out of mind. As much as Julia tried to encourage me to leave the house, just for a little fresh air, there was nothing in my hometown that was nearly enticing enough to risk it.

Caleb had been over every day since our arrival to update me on the security of the island. The conversation was mostly Caleb saying, “No sightings, all quiet,” and me saying, “Great,” and him bouncing his leg for a few uncomfortable minutes until he eventually got up and left.

After the fourth such visit, when the sound of the closing door was still reverberating through the house, Emmy looked up at me, her eyes big, and said,

“We go?”

“Go where, Sweetie?” I asked.

“Ousside!” she shrieked, as if this was obvious and I was very stupid. Perhaps I was stupid; they were kids, and they needed fresh air and space to run—or at least to toddle as fast as their chubby legs would carry them. They needed soft grass to fall on and new people to meet. Caleb had said that everything was quiet. Although neither of us thought that Arbor would let this go, Caleb’s security measures were apparently doing their job. Surely, I could go for a quick trip with the twins.

But where would I go? I might be willing to venture out of the house, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to leave town and risk the forests, no matter how much Emmy and Jack would love them. If I’d had friends in the Pack, I could have gone over to theirs, catch up, but there was no one who’d ever been more than civil to me, no one I could impose on like that.

Perhaps my father would be pleased to see me. He’d tried his best to ignore me as a child for the sake of my stepmother, but he’d never had a son—he might be happy to know that Jack existed to carry on his bloodline. Grandchildren were different from children, I reminded myself. A drill sergeant of a parent might well indulge a grandchild; perhaps my carefully distant father would want to hold his grandchildren close. I made my decision.

“Come on then,” I said, and promptly had to cover my ears at the squeals of joy that filled the room. They were so loud that Julia stuck her head into the room, curious about all the commotion.

“We’re going to see my father,” I explained, and Julia grinned.

“Need me to go with you?” she asked. She was so sweet: if they hadn’t looked so similar, I would have doubted that she and Caleb could ever be related.

“I think I’ll manage,” I said. “Thanks, though.”

She disappeared back to her room with a little salute, and I busied myself with pulling the twins’ coats and shoes on. It took less time than usual since they were both so excited to get outside, and within a few minutes, we were stepping out of the door for the first time in almost a week.

Emmy yelled, making to run forward, but I held her hand tight.

“Sorry, baby girl,” I said. “You’ve got to stay close to Mommy, okay?”

Emmy scowled but didn’t protest. In sharp contrast, Jack was all but clinging to the leg of my pants, nervous about the new place and its new sounds and smells. It was strange to think that my children had never known Lapine; I’d always thought of them as Lapine children, but they’d been born on Arbor, and that island—with its log cabins and backward traditions—was all the home they’d ever had.

The eye of every person we passed was on us as we walked through town, but no one tried to draw me into conversation, for which I was thankful. I doubted anyone here would have anything pleasant to say to me, and I didn’t want the twins picking up on the hostility. I wondered if Caleb had said something, or had forbidden anyone to speak to me. It was the sort of high-handed thing he would do. I wasn’t thinking about Caleb right now, though; I was enjoying being outside with my children. The fall air was crisp and clear, the storm that had been raging when I left Arbor having blown over and left sunny skies in its wake.

It took almost an hour for us to traverse the town—Jack and Emmy were forever stopping to check out cool rocks and investigate bushes—but eventually, we came to the flaking blue door of my father’s home. Of my home, once upon a time. I shouldn't have felt anxious, but my heart was pounding in my chest as I raised my hand to knock on the door.

I waited, heart in my throat, for what felt like an eternity before someone answered. My half-sister’s mouth fell open when she saw me, Jack on one hip and Emmy holding my hand, standing on the porch.

“Hey, Gracie,” I said. “Long time, no see.”

Gracie blinked at me. Then she turned back into the house and yelled,

“Mom! Dad! Alys is back!” She looked me up and down one more time. “You’d better come in, I guess.”

It was hardly a warm welcome, but I shouldn’t have expected anything else from Gracie. In her mind, it was my fault that her parents were unhappy together. I couldn’t really blame her for that: her mother had been pregnant when my father stepped out on her with one of the few witches who passed through Lapine. He might have gotten away with that transgression if the witch in question hadn’t left baby me on their doorstep nine months later when Gracie was only a few months old. I was a living reminder that my father had been unfaithful to his mate, and no one in the family had ever quite forgiven me for it.

It didn’t help that I clearly looked like my mother, whoever she’d been. My father had fair hair and grey eyes, traits he’d passed on to Gracie. Unlike my riot of curls, her flaxen hair was straight and fine, pushed back from her face by the same black headband she’d been wearing since we were pre-teens.

Gracie turned to retreat into the house, and I followed, closing the door behind me. Emmy tugged on my pant leg.

“Whossat, Mommy?” she whispered.

“That’s your Aunt Gracie,” I said. “She’s Mommy’s sister, like Jack is your brother.”

Emmy frowned, but I never found out what was unsatisfactory about my answer because we had emerged into the living space. My father was sitting in his chair by the window, just as I remembered. His face looked much the same as it always had, but his blonde hair now bore more streaks of white. He smiled at me, and I felt my heart lift—perhaps things would be okay.

“Hey, Dad.” Then, because it would be seen as a deliberate slight if I did anything else, I turned to my stepmother. “Hi, Pauline.”

Pauline barely acknowledged me from her place on the couch. There was a pile of Dad’s work clothes next to her, and she had out her darning needle. Gracie went to sit beside her mother, and no one offered me a seat of my own. I hovered awkwardly in the door.

“I thought you might like to meet your grandchildren,” I said, bouncing Jack on my hip and guiding Emmy into the room. “Go and say hello, Sweetheart.”

Emmy, as ever, was keen to meet an unfamiliar face. She strode right up to her grandfather, but she didn’t speak. If anything, it seemed as though she was sizing him up.

“Hello,” Dad said. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. What’s your name?”

“Emelia,” said Emmy. “What’s yours?”

Dad chuckled.

“My name’s Edward,” he said. “But you can call me Pappy. I’m your mommy’s father.”

Emmy considered this information.

“Okay,” she said. Then, apparently done with the interaction, she toddled off to inspect the curtains. Dad gave me a significant look, and I nodded, smiling. Emmy was a handful, but it was impossible not to be charmed by her. Jack, by contrast, was content to observe his new environment from the safety of my arms. I walked us over to Dad’s chair and knelt down next to him.

“Are you going to introduce yourself, Baby?” I asked, and Jack dropped his head onto my shoulder. He didn’t hide his face, though, staring up at my father with big, round eyes.

“You’re a serious little thing, aren’t you?” Dad said, reaching out slowly to chuck Jack under the chin. Jack allowed it, which was promising.

“Jack,” he said, barely audible, and Dad grinned.

“That’s a good, strong name. I think you’re gonna be a strong young man.”

Jack nodded, pulling slightly away from my body.

“Do you want to sit with Pappy?” I asked him, and Jack looked from me to Dad and back again before he nodded. I passed him over, mouthing he likes you, to Dad as I did so.

“Is it true what they’re saying, Alys?” Dad said as he got Jack settled in his lap. “You’ve been on Arbor?”

“Yeah, but they liked me even less than Lapine does,” I joked, and Dad frowned. Before he could say anything, Emmy’s bright little voice said,

“Whatchu doing?” She made a grab for Dad’s work clothes piled on the couch, and Pauline snapped,

“Don’t touch those!”

Emmy flinched, and I called out to her.

“Come here, Emmy.” For once, Emmy came straight back to me, cuddling into my side. My stepmother and sister were glaring at the three of us all crowded around Dad in the corner, and I realized my mistake. As much as they ignored me, they would hold it against me if I excluded them from the conversation.

“You still living at home, Gracie?” I asked, just to break the silence. It seemed more and more likely that Gracie’s mate was from another Pack, otherwise she would have found him by now and moved to a new home. It was a bit of a sore spot, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I winced at my own stupidity.

“Yeah,” Gracie snapped. “Some of us without mates just live with it instead of spouting delusional shit and getting ourselves banished.” Before I could even react to that, she continued, “Who sired them?”

“Does it matter?” I said. There was no point telling her the same truth she’d just called me delusional for.

“Not really,” Gracie shrugged. “As long as he wasn’t some other woman’s mate.”

She said it so nonchalantly that I almost missed it, but I couldn’t miss the atmosphere that descended over the room; my father stiffened, looking at Pauline, whose mouth had disappeared into a furious white line.

I should let it go, I was supposed to let it go, because that was how things worked here.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said instead.

Gracie’s voice was ice when she replied,

“Well, you got everything else from your mother.”

Why had I even asked? I’d known exactly what she meant, and hearing it spelled out only made me feel sicker than I already did. I looked at my father, still sitting in his chair with Jack on his knee, pleading for him to do something, anything. For the defense that I’d never gotten as a child and wouldn’t get now. The silence stretched out and out and out as I waited for him to take just an ounce of accountability, to stand up for me just once. He said nothing.

I got to my feet, snatching Jack up out of Dad’s lap.

“Alys, don’t—” he started, but I didn’t want to hear it.

“Well, this has been lovely,” I said, a big fake smile plastered to my face. “I’ll see you all around, I guess.”

With that, I took Emmy’s hand and marched all three of us out of the room. I let the door slam behind me on my way out, trying and failing to keep a single tear from rolling down my cheek. I had no free hand to wipe it away, and I didn’t trust myself to speak. I wanted to comfort my children, who both looked confused and upset, but if I opened my mouth, I would sob, and that would make everything worse. I had to get a handle on myself: this was only what I should have expected. My father might love me, but his love was not stronger than his shame. I had always known that.

I tried to keep my pace even, not to tug Emmy along as I fled from the cottage I had once called home. So concentrated was I on getting back to Julia’s as quickly as possible that I didn’t hear Caleb calling my name until Emmy tugged my hand.

“Will you hold up?” he said, coming alongside me. He must have jogged over because he was panting ever so slightly, a strand coming loose from his usually neat hair to fall over his forehead. God, he was beautiful.

“What?” I snapped. “What do you want?” I didn’t need to spend any more time today with people who’d rejected me, who were supposed to love me but didn’t.

“You looked upset,” he said, defensive. “I wanted to check you were okay.”

That was pretty rich, coming from him.

“I’m fine,” I said, beginning to walk again. “I just—I went to visit my family. They’re not exactly happy to see me.”

Caleb had nothing to say to that, apparently. He kept pace with me as I walked, apparently impervious to my angry glances.

“Is there something else you want?”

“Let me walk you home,” Caleb blurted, and I stopped in my tracks. I didn’t think he’d want to be seen with me. “You shouldn’t have come out on your own anyway,” he continued, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, that would be why he wanted to come with me. For island security.

I could be pissed off about that later, I decided. For now, I was only glad to have another adult with me. That was the only reason I let him tag along.

“Fine,” I said. “Take Emmy, will you?”

It was a test. I hated myself for it, but part of me wanted him to refuse, to prove he was the man I remembered him being. The Caleb I had known would never have carried my child through town, too afraid of what ideas the Pack might get. He didn’t refuse, though. He leaned down immediately and swept Emmy up into his arms. She giggled in delight: my daughter loved to be tall.

“Come on, little lady,” he said. “Let’s get you home.”