Page 4 of Cruel Alpha (Nightfire Islands Alphas #1)

Caleb had not reckoned with how much longer the journey would take with toddlers on our hips, but we made it over the bridge in just under three hours. Mercifully, both the twins fell asleep within the first half hour, but they were still weights in our arms, precious cargo that made our steps slower and more deliberate. I tried my best not to look too hard at Caleb with Emmy in his arms; he was gentle enough with her, careful, but her presence seemed not to affect him at all. She might have been anyone’s child.

It was better this way, I told myself; if he’d been sweet and attentive—if he’d shown any emotion at all when presented with the children he’d rejected—I might have fooled myself into thinking he wasn’t going to dump us again the moment he thought we were safe. His biology and his honor might demand that he defend us from predators and ensure we had a safe place to sleep, but I’d be an idiot to think I’d get anything more from Caleb Thorne. I might have been hopeful once, but I was a girl then: stupid and naive. I’d thought perhaps things could be different if I only wanted it enough.

If it had been an option, I would have left him in the Arbor forest, even if I’d had to drag Jack and Emmy and our bags down an eight-mile road in the rain. I would have walked eighteen miles, eighty miles, if it meant I could leave him behind, but fate had other plans. My vision had shown me as clear as day what would happen if I tried to go it alone, and the memory of it made my stomach turn. It would have been nice if fate had intervened a little earlier, but I’d never been able to control my visions; they came when they came, and this was my first since I’d left Lapine. I tried not to think about it as I picked over tree roots and rocks, staring at the shape of Caleb’s back in the darkness.

My first view of the bridge was like water in the desert, and I sighed out loud. Caleb glared at me: we weren’t supposed to speak or make any unnecessary noise. In less dire circumstances, I might have hoped that Emmy had one of her trademark tantrums just to see him try to tell her to be quiet. With every step I made across the steel and brick structure, Jack felt heavier in my arms, the adrenaline finally beginning to wear off after hours of keeping me going and going and going.

Argent had sentries posted at their end of the bridge—they were a wealthy Pack, and their land was well guarded—but they showed us no aggression or suspicion. They might have looked a little perplexed, but they greeted Caleb warmly and with the deference owed to a shifter of his rank. He might not be their Alpha, but his presence had an undeniable authority, and he used it to his advantage.

Soon, we were sitting in the back of a Jeep, the twins in our laps, while one of the sentries drove us into town. The streets of Argent were clean and wide, its people dressed in richer fabrics than I was used to seeing on shifters. Arbor was one of the poorer Nightfire islands, and while Lapine did well enough, they’d never been interested in human luxury. If the twins had been awake, they would have had their faces pressed against the windows, smudging the glass with unidentifiable gunk. I stroked Jack’s soft hair, and he nestled unconsciously closer. He certainly had a more comfortable seat than Emmy; she was asleep against Caleb’s chest—and that was fine, it was fine —but his hard muscles must have made a poor pillow.

“Where are we going?” I asked, figuring I was allowed to speak now.

“The Argent Alpha is a friend. We’ll stay with him tonight,” Caleb said in a whisper, looking at Emmy as though she was a bomb about to go off. I huffed a laugh.

“You don’t have to whisper. She could sleep through a rocket launch, and they’ve had a long day.” I kissed Jack’s head, and Caleb nodded, turning stiffly to look out of the window as if the sight of his own child offended him.

The rest of the car trip was conducted in silence, and I was almost nodding off to sleep when we pulled into the driveway of a tall stone building. It wasn’t extravagant by human standards, but few shifters lived in places like this.

As soon as the engine cut off the door was opening, and a tall figure rushed down the steps to meet us.

“What the entire fuck, dude?” he said as he approached. I couldn’t make out his appearance in the dark, but he was of a height with Caleb, if not quite as broad.

“Can this wait until we’re inside?” Caleb grumbled.

“Sure, but all I’ve got is beer and pizza in there.” He turned to me: “I wasn’t expecting such elegant company.”

I wanted to bristle, but there was no hint of mockery in this new Alpha’s voice. Caleb, however, growled low in his throat; it was a threat, but the other Alpha only laughed.

“Do you wanna cool it down a little, Cal? Message received.” He gestured for us to follow him in, and I was so desperate to be somewhere warm and comfortable that I followed him without thinking, not waiting for Caleb to give the okay. I was so used to living outside of Pack life—I’d never been truly accepted on Arbor, and if I was outside the Pack, then I was outside its hierarchies too—that I’d forgotten I should have waited for Caleb—for my Alpha. I tensed but kept walking. There was no growl of command from behind me, no hand on me to stop me in my tracks and remind me who was in charge.

Inside, the house was light and warm, and Arbor’s Alpha came into view properly. His features were a little softer than Caleb’s, with twinkling green eyes and a head of auburn curls. He smiled as Caleb followed me into a comfortable room, open and easy in a way I didn’t usually associate with Alphas.

“Sit down, sit down,” he said, perching on the arm of a leather couch. I slumped gratefully into an armchair. “Someone tell me what is going on before I explode.”

Caleb rolled his eyes, but there was a slight smile on the edge of his lips as he sat carefully on another of the couches, laying Emmy down beside him before he said,

“Leo, this is Alyssa. Alyssa, this is Leo.”

Leo’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly; he’d clearly heard my name before. I was surprised Caleb even mentioned me—surely my existence was a point of shame for him, not to be mentioned in front of other Alphas.

“And, uh—these are her kids,” Caleb continued, matter-of-fact. “The Arbor hunters ran them off the road a few miles from the bridge.”

There were follow up questions, the Alphas talking in low, urgent tones, but I heard none of it. Her kids, he’d said—not our kids.

Suddenly, I was eighteen again, nauseous and terrified and tugging on the sleeves of my cardigan as I waited outside the hall for Caleb and his crew to be done in the little upstairs gym; it was the only place I knew that I could find him if I didn’t want to hang out on his father’s porch like a kicked puppy. Right on cue, they burst through the doors in a tornado of sweaty limbs, pushing each other playfully or grabbing each other in headlocks. On a normal day, they wouldn’t have noticed me at all.

On that day, though, I walked into their path, my legs shaking beneath me, and said,

“Caleb, can I talk to you?”

He looked at me like I was a leper, like he was a king and I was a pox-ridden peasant who had no right to be speaking to him. He’d seemed so different on the night of his party—almost six weeks ago now—but the next morning, everything had gone back to the way it always was. Except everything had changed.

“You can bring any disputes to my father directly,” he said, cold and aloof. “Don’t know what you’re bothering me for.”

He tried to walk past me, but I stepped into his path again.

“No,” I said, my voice shaking. Someone whispered, “Bro,” from within the throng of boys; no one refused to obey the future Alpha. “I need to talk to you, not your father. Maybe—maybe somewhere private?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see elbows meeting rib cages and hands going up to mouths to cover whispers, but I did not lower my gaze from Caleb. I shouldn’t be looking him in the eye at all: females, especially females as low in the Pack as I was, did not make eye contact with high-ranking males. But he was my mate, even if no one knew but the two of us.

His eyes flickered over to his friends before coming back to mine, and his expression changed: a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he crossed his arms.

“Oh yeah?” he said. “I don’t know what exactly you could have to say to me that needs to be private.”

It was a dare. What was I supposed to do? To claim him as my mate, to say out loud that he’d kissed me and touched me and—and fucked me six weeks ago? He knew how easily that could be brushed off: I would be a crazy, delusional female, and he would go on with his life unscathed. What he didn’t consider was that his actions had consequences, indisputable ones.

I still didn’t want to say it there, though; I didn't want to say it in front of a bunch of ogling Beta males. I gave him one more chance.

“Please,” I said, bending my head in supplication, like a good female would. “I think you will want to hear this in private.”

With my head down, I couldn’t see the look that was exchanged between Caleb and his friends, but I could hear the snickering that followed. Eventually, Caleb sighed, grabbing my arm roughly and dragging me about ten feet away.

“Happy now?” he said. Now that he was away from his friends—his back turned so they could no longer see his face—he couldn’t look me in the eye. I wasn’t happy, not even close, but this was at least marginally better than it had been, and once I told him—once I told him, things were going to change. I took a deep breath.

“I’m pregnant,” I said. There was no softer way to say it, and I couldn’t have formed any more complex sentences. I could only wait for Caleb’s response, wait for the apologies and assurances that I was so certain would come now that he couldn’t deny me any longer. Several long, agonizing seconds passed, and I began to think I’d spoken too softly—perhaps he hadn’t heard me—when he said,

“And what does that have to do with me?” His mouth was set in a grim line of anger, his body coiled with tension.

“I-I—it’s yours,” I stammered. I hadn’t thought I would have to spell that out, but the words only made him roll his eyes.

“I’m not stupid, Alyssa,” he said. The ground dropped out from beneath me. I was falling and falling and falling and no one was going to catch me. I could only stare at him, utterly speechless. What could I say to that?

“You think I’m lying?” I finally choked, my eyes filling with tears. His hand was around my arm again, and he yanked me close to him, leaning down so that our faces were level. There was nothing in his expression but rage, and I could hear the growl beginning to grow in his chest.

“You’re not going to trap me, got it?” he hissed. “Whatever trick this is, it’s not going to work.”

“But I thought—I thought—”

“You thought what?” he snapped. “That I was going to gather you up in my arms and bring you home to my father? You thought I was going to announce to the Pack that my mate is a half-breed nobody?”

I had. God help me, I had thought that. I was so, so stupid. A sob ripped itself from my chest as he turned back to his friends, clearly done with me. I made a feeble, pathetic attempt to make him stay, my hands grasping at the loose fabric of his workout tee, but he only batted my hands away, disgusted.

I didn’t hear what he said to the little gang still waiting on him. It didn’t matter. My ears rang, my stomach turned, and tears dripped from my chin; I was completely alone, completely hopeless.

“Alyssa?” His voice encroached on the memory, jerking me back into the present. Caleb and Leo were both looking at me, concerned, and I wanted nothing more than to be away from both of them.

“What?” I bit out, and Caleb flinched. Good.

“Leo asked why the Arbor Pack was after you,” he said slowly, as if talking to a child or a very elderly person. For a moment, I wondered whether I ought to tell the truth—Argent was one of the more tolerant Packs when it came to magic, but there’d been a reason I was an outcast on Lapine. I didn’t want that for my daughter, but nor did I want to hide her nature: I was proud of her.

“Emmy did magic in front of one of them. It was an accident,” I admitted, and Leo’s eyebrows rose.

“Yep, that’ll do it,” he said.

“You can say that again,” I muttered.

Caleb said nothing, only leaned forward in his seat, elbows resting on his knees. He looked so much older than when I’d last seen him, though it was barely three years.

“You should get some sleep,” he said eventually. “We’ll head back to Lapine tomorrow, and we can go from there.”

I blinked, surprised.

“I’m not going back to Lapine,” I told him. I’d been through enough without returning to a Pack who’d always hated me, with two kids whose father wouldn’t claim them.

“Yes, you are,” Caleb said.

“I’m staying here,” I insisted.

“No, you aren’t.”

“I’m sure Leo—”

“Leo is staying out of this,” said Leo, holding up his hands. Caleb didn’t even acknowledge him, still staring me down from across the room.

“Leo can’t give you the kind of protection I can,” he said. “This isn’t your Pack, and they won’t stand up for you.” It was true: Argent wasn’t my Pack, and its people wouldn’t rally around me. But no one on Lapine had ever stood up for me either, Pack or no. “Anywhere you go—anywhere but Lapine—won’t hesitate to hand you and your children over to Arbor the second you’re found. Are you really willing to risk that? Risk them?”

Fuck him for saying that. Fuck him for using them against me. Fuck him for being right. I hung my head, inhaling Jack’s familiar baby smell.

“Fine,” I said through gritted teeth. “We’re going back to Lapine.”