Page 21 of Cruel Alpha (Nightfire Islands Alphas #1)

My wolf was going wild. Seemingly unable to decide between howling in triumph and gnashing in fury—at Arbor, at Leonard—he paced and prowled. I was similarly restless. Leading Alyssa through the crowd and back to Julia’s cottage, my hand on her waist, I wanted nothing more than to get home and stake my claim properly, to kiss every inch of her body until she was begging for me to mark her with my teeth. At the same time, I wanted to rip apart every shifter who looked at her wrong. It was overwhelming, and I concentrated on the familiar route through town and the small, warm weight of Emmy in my arms to ground me.

I didn’t need the emotion sharing that came with a mating mark to know that Alyssa was frightened. She pressed nervous kisses to Jack’s head every few steps, flicking her gaze over to check on Emmy, too. There was no need to worry on that front: Emmy was unflappable and quite capable of beating the shit out of Arbor wolves. She babbled a string of toddler nonsense as we hurried along, and I was suddenly struck by how much she reminded me of Julia.

Absently, I pressed my own kiss to Emmy’s chocolate curls, receiving a confused frown in return. It sent a stab of pain through my heart, but I didn’t allow it to linger. One day soon, this little girl would be used to gestures of affection from her father: both my children would.

Julia was still not home when we arrived, and a new knot of worry began to form in my stomach. Ethan would find her, I told myself, and then she, Alyssa, and the kids could ship out to Ferris just as we planned.

Alyssa was moving the moment we crossed the threshold, dropping Jack on the sofa with a less than convincing smile before she hurried up the stairs to fetch overnight bags.

“Where’s Mommy go?” Jack asked, his eyes big and worried. I crouched down in front of the couch, trying my best to look calm.

“You and your sister and Mommy and Auntie Julia are gonna go on a little trip, Jack. How does that sound?”

Jack shook his head vigorously.

“I like at home!” he insisted. I couldn’t blame him, I supposed. The only trip he’d ever been on before had involved being chased by angry wolves, a storm, and a nasty car crash. If I was him, I wouldn’t be one for trips either.

“It won’t be like the last trip,” I assured him. “Mommy and Auntie Julia are gonna keep you safe.”

“An’ me!” Emmy yelled, her little arm shooting into the air.

“Yeah, they’ll keep you safe, too,” I promised, but Emmy shook her head.

“No!” she insisted. “I keep Jack safe.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “You’ll keep him real safe, baby girl.” I booped her nose with my forefinger and was rewarded with a squeal of laughter.

The sound of feet on the stairs had me standing up, immediately attuned to her presence. She had a small bag slung over each shoulder, shoving a tiny pair of socks into the blue one on her left.

“Okay,” she was saying. “I’ve got overnight clothes for both of them. You told Ethan to make sure the Ferris guys know Jack is allergic to peanuts, right?”

“Yeah, they know,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll tell them again, though.”

I’d thought the joke might lighten the mood, but Alyssa stopped in her tracks.

“What do you mean? I’m staying here.”

“No, you are not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“I’m not going to argue with you right now—”

“Great, so I’m staying.”

“No!” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw both twins flinch, and I lowered my voice, hating myself. “No,” I repeated softly. “We agreed that you and Julia would go together.”

“You decreed that Julia and I would go together,” she said pointedly, grabbing two boxes of juice from the fridge and stowing them in the bags. “I never agreed to it.”

Her stare was flint and fire; in any other circumstance, I would have relished the fight in her. I still did—it was a beautiful change from the stone wall she’d been presenting me with for the last few weeks—but now was not the time to sweep her off her feet and fuck her until we forgot what we were arguing about.

With that route closed to me, I struggled to find the words to convince her to leave. I wasn’t about to bring the weight of my authority down on her, not when I had just earned back her trust. I stood there at a loss for a few tense seconds until the front door burst open.

“Here. I’m here. Shit.”

Julia was back, Ethan hot on her tail.

“Found her walking back from the elders’ cottages. Alone, like an idiot,” said Ethan, and Julia shot him a poisonous glare.

“I’ll go get my bag,” she said, taking off up the stairs.

Everything was happening so fast, and I needed to convince Alyssa to leave. I couldn’t lose her now, not after everything. I turned to Ethan.

“Can you keep an eye on the kids for me? Thanks.” Without waiting for his answer, I removed the bags from Alyssa’s shoulders and ushered her into the kitchen area. The open plan of the room didn’t afford much privacy, but it was better than nothing.

“Please, Alyssa. You have to go.” I said in a low tone. It hurt my pride to beg her, but that wasn’t important.

“Why?” Alyssa snapped back at me. “You think I can’t hold my own?”

“I think you’re brilliant,” I told her. “I think they’ll all be terrified of you, and you’ll have a target on your back.”

“But—but Leonard’s right,” she insisted. It was absolutely not what I was expecting her to say, and I was horrified to hear it. Before I could argue, she lifted a finger to my lips. Her skin was so soft. I wanted to kiss her fingertips, but she was still talking. “Not about most of the shit he spouts, but he’s right that this is my problem. I brought this upon the Pack. If anyone dies today, they’re dying because of me, and I won’t run away to safety while they do it.”

Unable to stop myself, I did kiss her fingertips, and she shivered. Gently taking her by the wrist, I lowered her hand so I could speak again.

“You’ll be a better Alpha female than this Pack deserves,” I told her, because it was true. “But you have to live. ”

“I will,” she said, as if it was that simple. “I’ll fight, and I’ll live, and I’ll finally prove myself to Lapine.”

Realization hit me like a slap to the face.

“Is that what this is about?” I demanded. “You think you need to prove yourself?”

“I don’t—I don’t care what they think of me,” Alyssa said. The phrase sounded practiced, as though she’d repeated it in the mirror every day for years. “But you’re the Alpha. You can’t have a mate that everyone in the Pack hates.”

“They don’t hate you. Well—most of them don’t.” I couldn’t disregard people like Leonard. I’d need to keep an eye on him in the hours to come.

“Fine,” Alyssa acknowledged. “But they think I’m weak. They don’t trust me. I don’t want you to lose their respect because of me. You’re a good leader. You care so much about Lapine. Let me do this. Let me show them we’re strong.”

I adored this woman. Not a single shifter in this godforsaken Pack deserved her, least of all me, but she was willing to risk her life for every one of us. She was willing to go out there for me. As much as it sent my blood singing, it also sent a cold spike of fear through my heart. Alyssa had all the determination of a woman who had raised two children alone in unfamiliar territory, barely more than a child herself, and made a life from the ruins. She was stronger than I would ever be, and one day, Lapine Pack would see that. One day, they would see the same headstrong, caring, beautiful woman that I did. One day, but not today. Today, she had to stay safe and stay away.

“You are so strong,” I told her, “but you know their fighters are strong, too. What if they find you? Are you going to make me tell the twins that they’re never going to see their mommy again?” It was a low move, and I knew it, but I couldn’t let her put herself in danger. “I lost my mom when I was their age, and I—I wish I could say I have memories of her, but there’s nothing. Not a flash of a smile, the scent of her hair, or the sound of her voice. Please, Alyssa. Don’t do that to them.”

Her eyes softened at that, and she turned to look at where the twins were perched on the edge of the couch, absolutely enthralled by whatever Ethan was saying. Then she snatched her wrist from my grip, balling her hands into fists at her sides, and I knew I’d won. She would be angry with me, but I could handle that as long as she was safe, healthy, and alive.

“Fine,” she whispered. “You win.”

“Thank you.”

Alyssa nodded, moving gently past me to retrieve her own bag from upstairs. I watched her go, relief and gratitude flooding through me. Only once she had disappeared from view did I turn my attention back to the twins and their new friend.

In the few minutes since I’d left them in his care, Ethan had arranged several toys on the coffee table in what I recognized as a pincer movement.

“And if you’ve got the high ground,” he was saying, “that’s even better because—”

I cleared my throat.

“Are you explaining battle tactics to my toddlers?”

“Yes?” said Ethan, though he sounded unsure. “They seem to like it.”

He wasn’t wrong. Emmy, in particular, was entranced by the little battle scene he had set up with pieces of stray Lego and a toy car.

“Look, man, I don’t know anything about kids,” he said with a shrug. It seemed like it didn’t really matter: the twins were still engrossed in the pincer pattern laid out on the table, moving the pieces around and smashing them together in a mock battle.

“You’re gonna be a great uncle,” I told him, and he smiled.

“You’re gonna be a great dad,” he replied. I hoped he was right.

The quiet of the moment was broken by two pairs of feet pounding down the stairs: Alyssa and Julia were back. It struck me for the first time what an odd pair they made—Julia tall and willowy and sharp-featured, Alyssa tiny and curved. I loved them both fiercely, and the thought of sending them off alone made me feel physically ill.

As if he read my mind, Ethan said,

“I should go with them.”

“We don’t need to be—” Julia started, but Ethan wasn’t hearing it.

“We’re banking on none of the Arbor wolves finding you, and your ability to outrun them if they do. Considering what Alyssa’s told us about the Arbor trackers… I don’t like those odds. Alyssa won’t be able to fight with the twins in the harness, and any hunter worth his salt will be able to exploit your weakness.”

Julia looked like she’d been stabbed. All through our childhood, our father had disparaged her “weakness”, and she was prickly about it to this day, but Ethan wasn’t wrong.

“Your eye is too noticeable,” I told her as softly as I could. “He’s right: an Arbor fighter would know to attack you from that side. We don’t need you getting hurt just to give Alyssa time to get away.”

“That’ll be my job.” Ethan’s face was set and certain, and I’d never been more grateful for him. Julia and Alyssa didn’t put up any more of a fight, and time was running short.

“Take the back way out; the fewer people see you leave, the better,” I told them. I didn’t think any member of Lapine would sell Alyssa out voluntarily, but nor did I think that Arbor would have to apply much pressure if they got their hands on someone who’d seen which direction she and Julia ran in.

With great reluctance, I continued,

“Be safe. I have to start organizing our troops.”

Julia nodded, and Ethan clapped me on the shoulder before I knelt down to say my goodbyes to the twins.

“You two be good for your Mommy, okay?” I said. “Have fun staying over with Uncle Ethan.” I dropped a kiss onto each of their heads, breathing in their sweet baby scent. I’d missed so much of their lives already that I could barely stand to send them away again, but it was for the best. Ethan would make sure they were safe.

Alyssa followed me to the door, cradling herself as I lingered on the threshold.

“I’m scared,” she admitted.

“I know, Baby,” I said, reaching out to draw her closer. “But you can do this. You’ve had plenty of practice now, and it’s just running. Your wolf will know what to do. She’ll stay for our children; I know she will.”

A tiny smile lit up her face: a weak ray of sunshine breaking through heavy winter clouds.

“Our children,” she repeated.

There was so much I wanted to say to her, but time was running short. I could hear Leo and Liam giving orders in the distance: it was time for me to take charge.

“I’ll come and find you as soon as it’s over,” was all I could say. Alyssa’s smile disappeared, replaced by that determined, demanding expression I was so utterly in love with.

“You better,” she said.

Then there were arms around my neck, and soft lips were pressed hard against mine. My hands went to her waist on instinct, pulling her against me. I relished the soft give of her breasts and her belly against the hardness of my torso, and my wolf howled with triumph inside me. I had missed this so desperately that the last three days had felt like thirty years. To touch her again was heaven; to taste her was even better. I sucked one of her plump lips into my mouth, nibbling on it until she went pliant against me. I could have luxuriated in her for hours, but no matter how wild she could drive me, my need to protect her came first.

I separated us extremely reluctantly, dropping one more light kiss on her pink lips.

“I promise.” I didn’t know what I was promising. To make it out of the battle alive? To come straight back to her? To never leave again? I would promise all of it and more, so I supposed it didn’t matter. With one last look at those hazel eyes—shining with unshed tears—I readied myself for war.