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CHAPTER THREE

TIRED

PENN

A few days later, Sam sits next to me in the SUV, staring out the window.

He’s been quiet this week despite my texts asking if he’s okay and for him to please talk to me.

I’ve spoken to his social worker, who assures me she’s going to look into the food situation, and I’ve dropped off meals at his house twice this week. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve let Sam know that I want him to live with me, but that I have to go through the process of getting a license. I’ve wondered if it’s a good idea that I told him because it’s taking so damn long.

He fiddles with the frayed edge of his hoodie sleeve.

“Top Golf sound good?” I ask, trying to sound upbeat.

He shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”

We have to drive to Denver, and the whole way there, I try to get Sam engaged in conversation.

He’s never like this—usually, he doesn’t stop talking when we’re together.

I grip the steering wheel tighter. My chest has ached since I got the call from the station.

I can’t stand the thought of him being hungry.

Not Sam. Not any kid. But especially not this one that I love and can do something about.

We pull into the parking lot and I nudge his shoulder gently. “Come on, buddy. Let’s see if you can finally beat me.”

His lips twitch like he wants to smile but can’t quite manage it. “I’m already better than you,” he mutters.

“Prove it,” I say, grinning like the cocky son of a bitch I am, but inside I’m thrilled that my favorite kid hasn’t lost his fire.

Inside, the familiar sounds of clinking clubs and loud laughter almost feels too bright after our quiet ride here.

But I get us set up, and for a while, I let Sam focus on the game.

He swings half-heartedly at first, but slowly, he loosens up.

By the time he smacks a ball that sails straight into the farthest target, he’s smiling.

“See? Told you I was better than you,” he says, his voice lighter now.

“Okay, okay,” I say, holding up my hands. “We’re not done yet.”

He smirks and for a moment, it feels normal. Easy. Like everything’s fine. But when we sit down to eat later, I can see the weight creeping back in. Sam finishes his burger before I’ve eaten half of mine and I’m not slow.

“You okay?” I ask, keeping my tone casual.

He shrugs. “About the food…at Aurora’s.” His voice is quiet, and he doesn’t look up. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to?—”

“Sam,” I cut in when he leaves it hanging. “You don’t need to apologize to me, okay? But I do need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

He hesitates, picking at his napkin. “Does me stealing mean…you won’t want me anymore? To live with you?”

Just when I think my heart can’t break any more. “No, it doesn’t mean that, Sam. I want you to live with me like…a year ago.”

His lips lift a little.

“I don’t want you to steal anymore though, okay? I want you to tell me when you need something…anything.”

“It’s just…things have been rough,” he admits finally. “At the house.”

My stomach tightens. “What do you mean by rough?”

“They’re just…mean sometimes,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

“To me. To everyone. I stayed because of Jesse and Winnie. They’re younger, and I didn’t want them to feel like I abandoned them.

But Jesse’s not there anymore…I hope Winnie won’t be much longer, even though I’d really miss her. She deserves a good home.”

I nod slowly, trying to let him get it out at his own pace. “When did Jesse leave?”

“Day before yesterday. Hopefully he was moved to a better place. I don’t know.”

“When you say they’re mean to you? How exactly?”

“They yell at me. Tell me I can’t have dinner if I haven’t done my chores the right way.” He looks at me. “I try to do them the right way, I really do.”

Fuck me. My heart cracks a little deeper.

“Have you told Mrs. Murphy everything?”

He swallows and shakes his head. “Not yet. She came out the night before Jesse was moved, but I didn’t want to leave him. I didn’t know he was moving. I’m just…” He stares at his plate and I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder.

“What, Sam? You can tell me.”

When his eyes meet mine, he looks way older than he should. Like he’s lived too much life. “I’m just so tired. Tired of moving. Tired of everything.”

His words hit me like a punch in the gut. This kid has been through so much already, and he shouldn’t have to feel like this.

“Have they been feeding you this week? Did you get the food I brought?”

He looks away, watching the family next to us. “Yeah, I think it made them nervous that I’d get taken away, so they’ve been feeding me and acting nicer.”

I sigh and lean back in the booth, taking a deep breath. “Sam,” I lean in again, “you don’t have to handle this alone. I’m here for you, okay? We’re going to figure something out.”

He nods, but the weariness in his eyes doesn’t go away. It kills me. We hit a few more balls, and by the time I drop him off, he looks a little better than when we started, like the time out may have helped. But it’s not enough.

I sit in the SUV after he goes inside, staring at my phone. I’m annoyed that I haven’t heard more from Mrs. Murphy this week. She heard me out and assured me she’d look into things, but I expected more communication.

I decide to call her yet again.

“Penn,” she answers, sounding cautious. “What’s going on?”

“I’ve just dropped Sam off. He’s not okay. What more can I do to have him stay with me?”

There’s a pause on the other end, and I already know she’s gearing up to put me off longer. I get it, she can only do so much.

“Penn,” she says gently, and my fists ball up at her placating tone.

“I know you care about Sam, but you should be prepared for the fact that the court might not think you’re a viable option.

You travel for work. You’re not consistently home.

And…you’re not part of a family unit. Foster care prioritizes stability, and?—”

“I can give him stability,” I cut in, unable to hide my frustration. “I can do better for him than what he’s getting now. A lot better. They yell at him. They withhold food from him as punishment. I’d think foster care would also prioritize feeding a hungry child!”

“I know you mean well, but these situations are complicated. I’ve looked into what’s going on at the foster home and have no reason to believe he’s not being fed. I questioned the other kids there, and no one had any complaints. Perhaps Sam is just trying to get your attention.”

I scoff. “He’s had my attention. There’s no reason for him to work hard to get it, he already has it.

And maybe the other kids didn’t say anything because they were scared if they did, nothing would fix it.

Sam said himself that he didn’t want to say too much in case he was moved from Jesse and Winnie…

and that backfired on him because Jesse ended up being the one who was moved. ”

“Okay, I’ll make another visit over there, but we did get some good news.

The grocery store didn’t press charges.” She pauses and clears her throat.

“Penn…often, these kids will act out. It’s not uncommon for them to steal food.

I’m sure there’s more to this than you know.

But I’ll keep an eye on things and continue looking into it, I promise you that. ”

“If you don’t see this as a cry for help, then I don’t even know what to say.” I end the call, anger and helplessness twisting in my chest.

I promised Sam I’d figure this out, but the system is stacked against us.

I get that I travel for work, but I own my home, have no debt, and make millions of dollars a year.

Why the hell can’t he live with me? As I sit in the dark, I become more determined than ever to figure this out. I refuse to let Sam down.

When I get home, my phone is blowing up with texts from the guys.

Rhodes

How did it go with Sam?

Weston

Yeah, man, you okay? Let us know.

Bowie

Poppy’s ready to go primal on his foster family.

Henley

You don’t mess with a pregnant woman.

He admitted tonight that they’ve been rough on him.

You know he doesn’t usually say much about his foster home, but he said enough tonight to concern me more than I already was.

Jesse, the younger kid Sam looked out for, got moved this week, and I think Sam is just…

done. He said he’s tired. Tired of moving, tired of everything.

Rhodes

That fucking kills me.

Me too.

Henley

Shit. That’s heavy.

Weston

What do we do? What’s the plan?

I called his social worker again tonight. She shut me down again. Says the powers that be might not think I’m a viable option. I travel too much. I’m not a “family unit.”

Weston

Fuck that. You’d do anything for that kid.

Doesn’t matter what I do. I mean, I’d go through all the red tape all over again if someone would just tell me what I need to do to fix this. Everyone has a job. I can work out childcare when I’m out of town.

Henley

He can stay with our family when you’re traveling.

Rhodes

Elle says he could stay with her too when we’re at away games. Or just anytime! We’d love to have him around here.

Weston

Sadie’s saying the same thing.

Bowie

As I said, Poppy’s primal about it. She’s in.

Thanks, guys.

Rhodes

What about filing a complaint against the foster home?

Mrs. Murphy said she’s looking into it. But you know how slow that process is. Meanwhile, Sam’s stuck.

Henley

What about temporarily? Can he stay with you while they figure it out?

I asked. Same answer.

Weston

This is so messed up. A kid shouldn’t have to stay in a bad situation just because of red tape.

Rhodes

Maybe there’s a way around it. We just need to figure out what that is.

Henley

In the meantime, we’re here.

Bowie

If you need someone to write a character reference or show up at a meeting or hearing, I’m there.

Weston

Same. Whatever it takes.

I appreciate it. Seriously, thanks, guys.