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CHAPTER TWENTY

HEART TO HEART TO HEART

ADELINE

“What is that?” Sam asks Penn.

Everyone has left and we’ve spent the past thirty minutes cleaning everything up. Penn’s parents and the girls helped a lot before they left, so it wasn’t too bad.

“You’ve never seen this?” Penn lifts the blue notebook he’s holding. “I would’ve thought you’d seen it by now. This is gold right here. It’s The Single Dad Playbook.”

“Oh, that’s the book? I’ve heard about it. It’s looking kinda old.”

Penn holds the book up and assesses it. “I guess it has seen better days, hasn’t it? We’ve been writing in it for a few years now and it’s been everywhere.”

My interest is piqued by now. “Who writes in it?”

“Henley, Weston, Bowie, Rhodes…and me.”

“But you’re not a dad, and they’re not single.” I tilt my head and point at him, laughing. “And you aren’t either now. How does that work?”

He chuckles. “Right on all accounts. We started writing in this when we were all single, and yeah, technically I had no business being in the group or the book, but I weaseled my way into both.” Penn lifts a shoulder and Sam and I laugh at him.

“We started it when Weston found out he had a son and it’s just continued from there.

It’s been like therapy for me at times. I love reading what the guys have to say.

When I need help with something or have thoughts on life or whatever, I write it in here. ”

“I love that.” I walk over and lean against the chair. “I think that’s really sweet.”

“Want to see what they said today? They were writing in it before they left.”

“If you’re comfortable showing us,” I say.

“I screened it first,” Penn says, laughing.

He flips open the book and goes to a place close to the back.

“It’s almost full!” I say.

He nods. “Yeah, we’ll have to start a new one pretty soon.”

He turns the book so I can see it better and Sam moves next to me so he can see too.

Our pretty boy is all grown up.

A wife! I’d wondered if I’d ever see the day.

I could not be happier for you, Penn.

And having Sam finally…

I know that’s what you’ve wanted for so long.

You just thought you were the shit before.

Having the two of them in your life full-time

has already upped your cool factor by, like…

One hundred percent.

But I’m sure you already knew that.

Love you, man.

This is the best surprise ever.

~Henley

Penn looks up at me and grins when he sees my cheesy smile. “I love your friendships with them.”

He nods. “They’ve made my life better, no question.”

I keep reading.

I’m so glad you weren’t too proud to give in to love.

I almost was,

And I think about it all the time…

How I almost missed out on what is

the best part of my life.

Loving Poppy, loving Becca and Jonas

and this little baby on the way…

It’s happiness like I’ve never known.

Go in with your eyes and heart wide open.

I get now why the guys were so pro “settling down.”

And trust me, you’ll get it too, if you haven’t already.

~Bowie

I fan my face, feeling like I might cry. “These are the sweetest messages. Man, melt my heart.”

He laughs. “Yeah, even the big man Bowie is complete mush now. Never thought I’d see the day.”

I can’t even be mad that we missed your wedding, Penn.

I’m just so damn happy for you.

You’ve been the best friend I could ask for,

And this is all I’ve wanted for you.

When you came back from the Bahamas

talking about Addy,

and still were months later,

I knew you’d been hit with a lightning bolt.

It’s probably the only way it would’ve

worked for you, honestly.

For you to be struck stupid over this woman.

Insert maniacal laugh here

You’re gonna be a fan-fucking-tastic husband.

And I love that Sam will grow up

having two people who have his back.

He’s got all of us,

but living in a home with the two of you loving him,

loving each other…

Damn, now I’m crying.

It’s just a beautiful thing.

Love you so much, man.

Enjoy the ride.

~Weston

I wipe my face as the tears drip down. Sam leans his head over on my shoulder and I put my arm around him.

“I do want you to know we have your back,” I tell him. “And these guys all have your back too,” I say, pointing at the book.

He nods, his lower lip trembling. “I do know it.” He wipes his eye with his fist and Penn gets up and puts his arms around both of us.

“There’s one more I haven’t read,” I say. I move the book closer but don’t let go of Sam. Penn’s fingers are rubbing small circles on my lower back, and my insides warm, my heart doubling in size.

You’re the last man down for the count!

No more singles in The Single Dad Playbook.

One of the next meeting’s topics:

Considering what our new name will be

since we can’t be the Single Dad Players any longer.

Penn, my man, I know you didn’t see this coming,

But I knew love would hunt you down one of these days.

Sorry, not sorry that I will never stop

giving you shit about it.

I mean, think about it, you were adamant

that you wouldn’t be going down this path, right?

Love is such a fucking bitch.

And you, my friend,

have been bitch-slapped into the next millennium.

This fact is going to make me belly laugh

for the next year, minimum.

Just making that clear right here, right now.

The way you love Sam,

the way you love your friends, your family…

You deserve every bit of goodness in your life.

And the way you look utterly besotted

when Addy’s in the room…

Just go ahead and face the facts,

and I think you have,

or you wouldn’t have gotten married,

YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Now that you’re in love,

Go ahead and embrace it fully.

I, for one, am going to get untold joy

Watching your woman keep you in line.

Sign me up for the front row.

I love you, man.

Congratulations.

~Rhodes

I’m wiping my face again and laughing at the same time. “They’re just the best. I love this so much. And now, what? Will you write in there too?”

Penn nods, his expression somewhat shy. “Yeah, I’ll go full-on mush too, and then when we get together in person, we’ll laugh and talk shit to each other and balance it out a little bit.”

I laugh. “So it’s not all mush, all the time?”

“No. But I’d say them settling down and getting married has definitely softened them. I’m sure the fact that they were fathers already had softened them somewhat, but when they fell in love, each of them went down hard.” He laughs.

“Kind of like you with Addy,” Sam says, grinning up at the two of us.

Penn and I smile tentatively, like we’re both trying to figure the other one out. I know something is brewing between us. It has been all along. And it might’ve been crazy to tell him I gave him permission…basically giving him free rein to have his way with me later tonight.

But I don’t want to be careful right now.

I want to let myself careen into him.

I think we’re both adult enough to handle it if it doesn’t go well, and we’re committed to making sure Sam is taken care of, so we will do that no matter what. But why not enjoy exploring what this could be? Since the night we met, that’s all I’ve wanted to do.

“It’s late. We should probably get to bed,” Penn says. He looks at Sam. “Shower and brush teeth?”

Sam yawns. “Okay. Yeah, I’m tired.” He leans over and hugs me and then Penn. “It was a fun party.”

“Thanks for helping us pull it off, buddy. You were a huge help,” Penn tells him.

“Yes, you were,” I add. “We did it.” I wave one of the napkins as I put them back in place.

Sam smiles at us, and it both melts my heart and makes it hurt, the way any kind of praise makes him so happy. I want to smother him with hugs and validate him every other second, but I settle for patting his cheek and kissing his forehead.

His cheeks flush when I pull back.

“You’re a good guy, Sam. Hey, what’s your middle name?” I ask. “And is Sam short for something?”

“My full name is Samson Cole Miller.”

“That is a great, solid name.” I smooth back his hair.

“Thank you.” He looks at Penn shyly. “I used to always ask Penn if I could come stay at his house and he tried so hard. I’m so glad it’s finally happened. I love it here with you guys.”

Penn pulls him in for a hug. “I love having you here so much. Both of you. And if I have my way, we’ll make it permanent legally as soon as possible. It feels like we might finally get our wish.” He rests his chin on Sam’s head and both of them grin at me.

My ovaries take flight.

“And then I could be Samson Cole Hudson?” Sam asks hopefully.

Penn presses his lips together, his eyes glistening with tears. “I want that more than anything,” he says, his voice hoarse.

“Me too,” Sam whispers.

“It’s going to happen. Now that we’re here together, things will start working out. I can feel it.” I say, cuddling into Penn’s chest and putting my arms around Sam too.

“It’s okay with you too, Addy?” Sam asks. “I won’t, like, be in the way now that you guys are married?”

“Sam, you were in the equation when I considered marrying Penn. I want to be part of your life too, if you’ll let me.” I dab the tear that starts to fall down my cheek.

He turns and gives me a big bear hug. “I’d love that.”

Penn sniffs. “God, the two of you have me blubbering over here. What the fuck are you doing to my emotions?”

“I feel like I should fuss at you about your language in front of Sam.” I laugh.

“Oh, I’ve heard worse out of him, believe me,” Sam says.

Penn gives me a sheepish look. “I’ll work on that,” he says.