Page 48 of Coach Me (Boston Blues #2)

Lucie

Dex slides away from me for only a moment to get a warm washcloth to clean us up, then climbs right back in next to me. I wrap myself back around him and trace the lines of his muscles with my fingers.

“I’m not sure Beck gave you his room key for this.” I laugh.

Dex places a kiss on the top of my head. “It’s Beck—I’m sure that’s exactly what he gave us his key for. I’ll call in room service before we leave, though.”

I prop my head up on his chest. “We should probably head back over, shouldn’t we?”

“Probably so. I can’t say how long Miles will sleep. He stopped taking naps nearly two years ago. He’ll be up till midnight as is. But before we go…” Dex flips us so he can hover over me and plants another kiss on my forehead. “I want you to be selfish more often for me, baby.”

I roll my eyes with a chuckle. “Dex.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I won’t complain if it’s more sex, but I meant in general, Luce. You deserve it. ”

I trace a line with my finger between his biceps. “And what about you?”

“I’m plenty selfish.” Dex leans down to give me a slow kiss.

“I fell for my son’s nanny.” Another kiss .

“I didn’t even make it to you homeschooling Miles before I gave in.

” This kiss a little deeper. “And now I want everything from you, Lucie. I’m so fucking selfish that I want you in my bed every night and to wake up next to you every morning.

I want Miles to see you as the woman I love, not just someone who’s there to take care of him.

I want your light, Lucie. I want all of it, and I don’t ever want to let it go. ”

“I want all of that with you too, Dex,” I whisper.

“I know I said at the beginning of this that I felt like I didn’t know who I was.

A supporting character with no backstory, but being with you and Miles made me realize it doesn’t really matter.

I probably didn’t need those guidelines, but they’re what brought me to you.

” I place my hands lightly on his face. “Even if I’m technically the girlfriend now, can I still teach Miles? ”

Dex’s laugh comes immediately. “Whatever you want. I’ll paint the classroom whatever color you say and you can move those damn turtles out of our living room.”

“Our living room,” I repeat with a crinkled smile. I love that— our .

Dex leans down again, his face just an inch away from mine. “Yes, Lucie, ours. Get ready to hear that for a very, very long time. And ‘we’ as well. So many fucking we’s .”

We lay in the hotel bed for another ten minutes just kissing. A slow, love-filled kiss that makes every single inch of my body feel alive.

So alive that it apparently remembers I did not get to eat my lunch. My stomach growls, and our laughter fills the room again.

When we get back over to our suite, it’s still quiet. Dex keeps his voice low. “I’ll call us in some room service, then probably wake Miles up when it gets here. Do you want anything in particular?”

“A concession stand hotdog?” I joke as I raise my eyebrows with a sweet smile, but based on the look on Dex’s face, he’s already thinking of ways to get me the hotdog from the stadium. “I’m kidding. Just get me whatever you get. I’m so hungry, I could eat anything right now.”

“Okay, baby.” Dex kisses my temple, and while I think he’ll get me food now, I’m sure one of the guys will be bringing back an assortment of concession stand food later.

I head out to the small balcony attached to the suite. The view of New York isn’t as nice as the one from Dex’s penthouse, but I guess I’m a little partial to Boston in general.

With a deep breath, I sit back in one of the chairs and let my eyes flutter shut for just a moment. The street noise might be crazy, but there’s still peace in this moment because Miles is safe, Dex and I are strong, and food is on the way.

When the sliding door opens, Dex steps out. “Food’s ordered.”

“Okay, want to sit out here with me while we wait?”

I gesture to the other chair, but he walks right past it and picks me up out of my chair before sitting back down and pulling me in his lap.

“Well, this works too.” I adjust, getting comfortable and resting my head back on his shoulder.

“It works so much better.” Dex kisses the top of my head when the sliding door opens again .

Kate steps one foot on the balcony, leaving one foot still inside. “Hey, Miles is still asleep, but do you have a second?”

I look back to Dex, letting him handle this one. I know this isn’t about them being together, Dex has made that so perfectly clear, but if he needs to handle this without me, he can.

“I can go?—”

“No,” both Dex and Kate speak at the same time.

“You deserve to be a part of this conversation, Luce.” Dex adjusts me in his lap, pulling me tighter as he sits up, then holds out his hand toward the other chair for Kate to take a seat.

The metal of the chair legs scrapes against the balcony floor as she pulls out her chair. Getting a read on her is next to impossible. Her and Dex may have similar personality traits, but I don’t know if my “we’re a team” speech will work on her like it did him.

Kate settles into the seat then looks straight at me. “Thank you for today.”

“Of course, you’re welcome.” I can’t say I fully expected that to be the first thing she said.

“Listen, I know you want to have a talk about co-parenting, Dex, but I’ve been thinking…

” Kate shuffles in her chair to look at the massive building in front of us.

“I want you both to know that it’s not that I don’t love Miles.

Because I do, and it’s not that I regret my decision of having him…

it’s just that being a mother isn’t what I wanted.

Even though it may not always appear like it, I have tried. ”

Dex makes a small noise behind me, and I lightly smack at his chest. I saw the fear in her eyes today when Miles went missing. I know Kate cares—it’s very different from the way Dex and I do, but I believe she does care on some level.

Kate cuts her eyes to us with a huff. “Just hear me out, Dex. You want to talk about co-parenting, and I agree. The idea of you and I getting pregnant seemed as if I could have all the things , all these things I thought I should want as a woman. This mom with a beautiful family and a great career, but Miles deserves more than what I can give him. I know it. You know it. Hell, it’s the main reason I left, really.

But then you go and hire this young blonde girl who my son goes on and on about…

and I get in my head—like I failed at something I didn’t even want to begin with. ”

I feel every muscle of Dex tense. His hand squeezes my thigh lightly for about ten seconds before he relaxes. I can see him mentally fighting off an argument, and I get it. I don’t see how someone would not want Miles, but that’s me.

Dex is right, I am a caretaker. I want to be a mom. Honestly, in an odd way, I already think I am. I want to nurture and care for each and every person around me, but that’s not who Kate is.

I reach for Dex’s hand, and he threads his fingers through mine with a sigh. “So, what are you saying, Kate? That you don’t want to see Miles?”

Kate sinks in her chair. “Dex, you were meant to be a father, but this—this isn’t meant for me.

I love Miles, and I don’t want to abandon him, but Lucie is the mother figure he needs.

I know it might be hard to understand where I’m coming from, but it’s my truth.

As unfair and selfish as it seems to you both, I know I’m not capable of giving Miles my all. ”

I sit in silence for a minute, letting her words wash over me. I can see why she thinks I wouldn’t understand, but flipping the perspective, Kate just seems to be giving a slightly different version of what my dad did.

Kate forms a thin line with her lips before looking at me.

“I really can’t thank you enough for finding Miles and letting Dex and I have that moment alone with him.

I’m calm in courtrooms and on business calls, but this just isn’t for me.

I’m not about to step into your relationship; that's for you two to decide, but if you want to tell Miles about your relationship, then do it. I would still like to have my scheduled weekends because I know Miles deserves to have some of me, but he needs a mother and father more. I don’t want to stand in the way of that. ”

I may not have needed a blessing from my brother or the support from my sister, but I think I needed this. Dex really needed this. I know this is the start of our relationship, but he’s carried so much guilt about this divorce—this could be what he needed to let it go.

Dex squeezes my hand again. “I can’t say I understand your decision, but if you’re serious about this, then I can find a way to respect it.

I don’t want to take Miles away from you.

That’s not something I’ve ever thought of doing.

If you want to stick to our original arrangement, then great.

I can still be flexible if it benefits Miles. ”

Dex shuffles us in the chair again as he leans up to hold me close.

“However, I am going to ask Lucie to marry me one day. One day, we might decide to grow this family. I need you to know now that our son isn’t to be used as a weapon, bargaining chip, or an opportunity to one-up each other.

He’s also not a luxury you get to use when it benefits you.

He’s a child who doesn’t deserve this bullshit.

So we make an agreement and we respect each other's roles in that decision. No exceptions. I’m not your enemy, Kate. ”

This wave of emotion hits me like a ton of bricks.

Being with Dex isn’t something I ever anticipated, but being loved by him?

Hearing that he sees this future with me?

At the beginning of all this, I wouldn’t have understood why he wanted all of these things with me.

But now, it almost feels…right. I didn’t find myself in Dex, but he gave me a safe place to see it on my own.

Kate lets out a sigh. “Agreed. We stick to our original agreement. And when that time comes, I’ll have my lawyer draw up an addendum to add Lucie in, if that will make you feel better.

I’m serious about this. Today made it abundantly clear to me that I need to be serious about it.

” Kate stands from her chair. “I’ll wait till Miles gets up so I can say bye to him, but then I’ll go. ”

Dex rests his head on my shoulder for just a second before speaking to Kate again.

“We have plenty of food on the way, and I plan on waking him up when it gets here. You can stay to eat if you want, but if you don’t, that’s fine.

We won’t tell Miles about us until tomorrow—I think he’s had enough happen today already. ”

Kate gives me a thin-lipped smile. “Lucie stepped aside earlier today to let me have my mom moment, and now it’s my turn. I’ll wait inside. I have some emails to answer anyway.”

Dex simply nods, then settles back in the chair. When Kate steps back inside and the sliding door closes, Dex hauls me to his chest. “Fuck, was that the right thing to do? Should I have been angrier? I feel angry, but I don’t know if it's at her, myself, or just the situation.”

“I know…I’m sorry.” I rest my head on his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should be angry at yourself—you can be upset about the situation, but it doesn’t change anything. You could be angry and try to force more out of Kate, but I don’t think that will end up any better. ”

“You’re right.” Dex places a lingering kiss on my forehead. “I owe you an apology, though. I meant what I said about us, Luce. I see that future. But that probably wasn’t the best way for me to go about it. I don’t want to put pressure on you.”

“Dex.” There’s a pain in my chest as I fully register what he’s saying. I know the pressure that he felt he put on Kate was part of why he feels guilty about this whole situation, why he blames himself for it.

I lean back up so I can look at him. “Don’t do that.

I get it, we’re still figuring this out, but I want that.

I can see those things with you too. Don’t confuse pressure with clear expectations of what you see in our relationship.

This is a completely different situation.

I know when I say this, you’ll understand what I mean… I did fall in love with Miles first.”

Dex chuckles softly. “I know you did. I think I love you more for it.”

My smile comes with a blush on my cheeks.

“You told me that you didn’t need someone with one foot out the door to start.

Dex, I would have never let you kiss me on your balcony if I couldn’t see this future with you.

For Miles’s sake. For mine. And yours. You won’t have to blame yourself over me, Dex.

When you said you might not be able to stop, I knew what you meant. ”

Dex brushes my hair behind my ears before he cups my face. “You are remarkable, Lucie Anderson.” Dex pulls me in for a small kiss, and then I nestle my head back on his shoulder.

Dex runs his hand lightly on my thigh. “I know you’ve probably had enough drama for today, but do you want to talk about your dad?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m not as affected by it as Will is. I don’t think I’ve ever really gotten to be the one to take care of him like that. I have zero clue how Reagan’s going to handle it either.”

“She hasn’t reached out to you this week, right?”

The realization hits me harder than I would have liked. “No, she hasn’t. She responded to Callie and Jensen a couple of times in the group chat over stupid stuff, but that’s all I’ve heard from her.”

Dex brushes his fingers through my hair. “She’ll come around. I’ll come with you if you want to talk to her when we get back.”

A nervous laughter slips out. “She might try to scare you away.”

“Eh, I’m not afraid of her. You, though. You still terrify me.”

I sit up again with a scoff. “Dex! I’m like the least scary person ever. I think I can give you evidence of that, actually.”

Dex lets out a laugh with this adorable smile on his face. “Please, don’t. Luce, I fear how much I could love you with more evidence.”